Re: Kids calling my son crazy

[Guest guest]

Well, quite frankly, I am against these informal meetings when there are serious issues to discuss.  Often, these informal meetings are set up to manipulate parents into forgoing needed accommodations.The statement that if she accommodates for your child then she has to do the same for all is .... well, I won't be crass, but I get sick of hearing this kind of stuff.

If your child is covered under the IDEA, then he MUST have accommodations that meet his " unique " needs and allow him to progress and feel safe in the school environment.  Being verbally and emotional abused by being called " crazy " will certainly NOT provide this.

Your son has PDDNOS/ADHD?  Honestly, you need to get it called what it IS for educational purposes.  These together amount to autism, though he may be high functioning on the spectrum.  I don't know as you would have to give me more information regarding his abilities with speech, social skills etc....

You need to get your child covered under the autism supplement.  My son was was also labeled PDDNOS as no doctor wants to call it autism before they have to, and few school districts want to call HFA autism because it is more work for them.

My son originally had the PDDNOS label. My son has what is called the politically correct term " autism. "   I believe what it really is is toxic overload, but we don't have a " toxic overload supplement " as part of IDEA, so for educational purposes it is " autism. "

That is the first thing you need to address at the ARD, and I would rather see you prepare for an ARD and set one up and see that he is covered under the autism supplement and that he gets the services and accommodations that he needs. 

Your son is in kinder?  Does he have an aid?  Does he need an aid?Autism is becoming so widespread that we cannot pretend it does not exist and not explain it to the other kids at school.  We desperately need for educators to prepare NT kids and to teach compassion, understanding, and forbearance of this disorder.

Quite frankly, I think ALL schools in Texas should be required to have an in-service of autism sensitivity training these days.  Most are sorely misinformed and unequivocally ill-prepared to deal with the rise. 

I don't know how the bathroom is set up in the classroom, but for a long time, I would never allow my son to go into a bathroom with other children.He is now eleven and he does NOT go into the Men's bathroom in public alone.  Our children are easily taken advantage of.  I knock on the Men's room door.  If no answer I holler in several times to be sure no answer.  Then I GO in to be sure it is empty.  Then I let my son go in and I stand at the door barring any male from going in until my son comes out.

Or -- I take him into the women's room and he uses the handicapped stall.One time a woman did say something, and I gave her an education.  I have taught my son to not look in through the cracks in the stalls -- to give people privacy, but until I am convinced no one can take advantage of him, he is not going in alone.

I would make this an accommodation -- that he must have privacy in the bathroom with a teacher or aid outside the door in case he needs help.I would write down all your concerns, what it is you want, what your child needs to meet his unique areas of disability, prepare for an ARD and bring a tape recorder with you.

If you need help preparing for the ARD, just drop me a line.This business of him being called crazy is a form of bullying, and the teacher needs to explain things to these kids and NOT tolerate it.I was a teacher for fifteen years - mostly in the inner city, and I NEVER tolerated any form of prejudice directed at a particular student nor a group of students - though I know it is out there.  As soon as I heard or saw something in my room that smacked of it, I nipped it in the bud, and my expectation was that no matter a person's personal feelings towards a student or a certain group, in my class we treated one another with respect and compassion.

Sometimes it gets tough.  I had one kid in my class who was an all around jerk of a kid (high school), and one day a GANG of kids tried to get into my room to beat him up!  It didn't matter that I could personally see how he could tick the wrong people off.  I barred the doorway with my body and screamed LOUDLY for help.

I do believe it is a teacher's duty to teach compassion and respect for all, and to teach acceptance for differences.Your son has a right to feel safe and not threatened at school.  Stop this nonsense now or I can see how bad he is going to dread going to school.  No one would want to go where others are calling them names and picking on them for whatever reason.  Sounds like these other kids need some serious lessons in social skills.

Talking about things in an informal meeting carries no legal weight nor merit.  Addressing it in an ARD and having it written in there makes it legally binding.

[Guest guest]

My son's school started Circle of Friends just this month. Seems to be going well. He was excited about his lunch group today and shared with me some of what they talked about. Sounded like normal fourth grade talk to me! Sent from my iPhone

I've brought this up before and its still ongoing. So I need some more help. Yesterday I went to lunch with my son who is in kinder with pddnos and ADHD. While sittin there a few kids told me how crazy my son is and how he does his and that and how he was in the bathroom and all the kids were laughing at him and the teacher told him to hurry up. (they have a bathroom in their classroom). This is not the first time

The kids have said my son is crazy. This the first they have actually told me. The other times I overheard. Ive talked to the teacher and the asst principal about it and they said they would address it. Well it's still going on. The teacher is adamant about not bringing attention to my sons special needs but his behavior is doing it for him and now he is getting this label as crazy. He doesn't have a bip. She also said if she makes special accommodations for him she has to do the same for the other kids. For some reason I let it go before but now I am not ok with it and know she is violating idea by not making accommodations to avoid other kids knowing. I don't care if other kids know. They would probably feel beter knowing and many help him. I don't know. So far none of this has been formally documented so I said I would call and ard but she wants to have a teacher conference with the principal first on Monday. On top of this he has been coming home

with perfect behavior reports, which is only green color for the day and no other notes. Now I am feeling that this isn't entirely true. He has his annual ard coming up the end of feb. What should be my plan for the parent teacher meeting and for the upcoming ard? Thanks.

Sent from my iPhone

[Guest guest]

What Haven said too!!

>

> Well, quite frankly, I am against these informal meetings when there are

> serious issues to discuss. Often, these informal meetings are set up to

> manipulate parents into forgoing needed accommodations.

>

> The statement that if she accommodates for your child then she has to do the

> same for all is .... well, I won't be crass, but I get sick of hearing this

> kind of stuff.

>

> If your child is covered under the IDEA, then he MUST have accommodations

> that meet his " unique " needs and allow him to progress and feel safe in the

> school environment. Being verbally and emotional abused by being called

> " crazy " will certainly NOT provide this.

>

> Your son has PDDNOS/ADHD? Honestly, you need to get it called what it IS

> for educational purposes. These together amount to autism, though he may be

> high functioning on the spectrum. I don't know as you would have to give me

> more information regarding his abilities with speech, social skills etc....

>

> You need to get your child covered under the autism supplement. My son was

> was also labeled PDDNOS as no doctor wants to call it autism before they

> have to, and few school districts want to call HFA autism because it is more

> work for them.

>

> My son originally had the PDDNOS label. My son has what is called the

> politically correct term " autism. " I believe what it really is is toxic

> overload, but we don't have a " toxic overload supplement " as part of IDEA,

> so for educational purposes it is " autism. "

>

> That is the first thing you need to address at the ARD, and I would rather

> see you prepare for an ARD and set one up and see that he is covered under

> the autism supplement and that he gets the services and accommodations that

> he needs.

>

> Your son is in kinder? Does he have an aid? Does he need an aid?

>

> Autism is becoming so widespread that we cannot pretend it does not exist

> and not explain it to the other kids at school. We desperately need for

> educators to prepare NT kids and to teach compassion, understanding, and

> forbearance of this disorder.

>

> Quite frankly, I think ALL schools in Texas should be required to have an

> in-service of autism sensitivity training these days. Most are sorely

> misinformed and unequivocally ill-prepared to deal with the rise.

>

> I don't know how the bathroom is set up in the classroom, but for a long

> time, I would never allow my son to go into a bathroom with other children.

>

> He is now eleven and he does NOT go into the Men's bathroom in public

> alone. Our children are easily taken advantage of. I knock on the Men's

> room door. If no answer I holler in several times to be sure no answer.

> Then I GO in to be sure it is empty. Then I let my son go in and I stand at

> the door barring any male from going in until my son comes out.

>

> Or -- I take him into the women's room and he uses the handicapped stall.

>

> One time a woman did say something, and I gave her an education. I have

> taught my son to not look in through the cracks in the stalls -- to give

> people privacy, but until I am convinced no one can take advantage of him,

> he is not going in alone.

>

> I would make this an accommodation -- that he must have privacy in the

> bathroom with a teacher or aid outside the door in case he needs help.

>

> I would write down all your concerns, what it is you want, what your child

> needs to meet his unique areas of disability, prepare for an ARD and bring a

> tape recorder with you.

>

> If you need help preparing for the ARD, just drop me a line.

>

> This business of him being called crazy is a form of bullying, and the

> teacher needs to explain things to these kids and NOT tolerate it.

>

> I was a teacher for fifteen years - mostly in the inner city, and I NEVER

> tolerated any form of prejudice directed at a particular student nor a group

> of students - though I know it is out there. As soon as I heard or saw

> something in my room that smacked of it, I nipped it in the bud, and my

> expectation was that no matter a person's personal feelings towards a

> student or a certain group, in my class we treated one another with respect

> and compassion.

>

> Sometimes it gets tough. I had one kid in my class who was an all around

> jerk of a kid (high school), and one day a GANG of kids tried to get into my

> room to beat him up! It didn't matter that I could personally see how he

> could tick the wrong people off. I barred the doorway with my body and

> screamed LOUDLY for help.

>

> I do believe it is a teacher's duty to teach compassion and respect for all,

> and to teach acceptance for differences.

>

> Your son has a right to feel safe and not threatened at school. Stop this

> nonsense now or I can see how bad he is going to dread going to school. No

> one would want to go where others are calling them names and picking on them

> for whatever reason. Sounds like these other kids need some serious lessons

> in social skills.

>

> Talking about things in an informal meeting carries no legal weight nor

> merit. Addressing it in an ARD and having it written in there makes it

> legally binding.

>

[Guest guest]

Request a BIP in writing and call an ARD when they have it done. One your child

has a BIP, she can treat him differently than the other kids. It is very

important in the BIP that they look for triggers of the bothersome behavior.

If it helps any, a caring school, teachers AND a really good BIP can make all

the difference.

My son had a lot of trouble in grades 1-5 with the other kids. He was in the

same class all day with the same kids, even when they rotated teachers. The kids

all got on each others nerves and figured out how to pick on the more naive kids

( like my son ) causing outbursts and disrupting the class. My son also had some

really odd and inappropriate behaviors that drew attention to him. Each year got

better, the more we learned about his needs and how to address them. Do lots of

role playing with him. Show him what his behaviors look like to others. If he is

high functioning, he knows he is different and only wnats to fit in. He will get

it eventually.

Since my son started 6th grade, where there are different kids in each

classroom, he loves it. He is making friends and getting along so much better.

If there is a kid he doesn't like ( or visa versa), he knows he only has to deal

with it for an hour a day, rather than all day. Makes it easier for him to

ignore. Also, there has been enough improvement in behavior to allow him to fit

in and for the kids to see him as a vibrant individual rather than wierd or

crazy ( i used to get the same reports from his classmates in prior years too).

Get the BIP!

>

>

> I've brought this up before and its still ongoing. So I need some more help.

Yesterday I went to lunch with my son who is in kinder with pddnos and ADHD.

While sittin there a few kids told me how crazy my son is and how he does his

and that and how he was in the bathroom and all the kids were laughing at him

and the teacher told him to hurry up. (they have a bathroom in their classroom).

This is not the first time

> The kids have said my son is crazy. This the first they have actually told me.

The other times I overheard. Ive talked to the teacher and the asst principal

about it and they said they would address it. Well it's still going on. The

teacher is adamant about not bringing attention to my sons special needs but his

behavior is doing it for him and now he is getting this label as crazy. He

doesn't have a bip. She also said if she makes special accommodations for him

she has to do the same for the other kids. For some reason I let it go before

but now I am not ok with it and know she is violating idea by not making

accommodations to avoid other kids knowing. I don't care if other kids know.

They would probably feel beter knowing and many help him. I don't know. So far

none of this has been formally documented so I said I would call and ard but she

wants to have a teacher conference with the principal first on Monday. On top

of this he has been coming home with perfect behavior reports, which is only

green color for the day and no other notes. Now I am feeling that this isn't

entirely true. He has his annual ard coming up the end of feb. What should be my

plan for the parent teacher meeting and for the upcoming ard? Thanks.

>

> Sent from my iPhone

>