from a much calmer in Waveland, MS

[Guest guest]

Wow, what a difference a day makes.

First let me say I really appreciate the responses I got from my very

upset post yesterday. Your responses were like lighthouses, helping

guide me home.

I am now about a mile and a half down the road, volunteering at a

place I feel very very good being at. This morning we had a circle at

my last place, and I shared what I wanted to. I got interupted quite

frequently, and so it is. At one point I left repeating the

particulars, and out of my mouth came " I'm scared of you. " It was

like a thick door opened, and this purely child being was able to

speak up. I got some angry reactions back from the couple, and the

door shut quickly. But I survived! And that inner child I think kinda

enjoyed seeing the light of day.

Earlier that day I had read 'THE INVITATION', a most beautiful poem,

and one of the lines says something like-

can you sit with the pain? yours and mine?

And I did that to an extent I didn't realize I could. I did end up

walking away, but as I type this I am fine with that. Soon after I

came to a most startling realization.

Others don't suppress me like I'd thought.

I SUPPRESS ME!

And in the realization, I go from victim to chooser. I am so grateful

for this whole thing. I now see I was handing them my power. Well,

maybe I'm going into another story here. It's all story right?

But anywho, I am very happy, I am not dreading tomorrow. And I am

quite certain I'll spend some time before I leave the area with my

previous 'enemies' who are now my great teachers to help me awaken.

I love you all,

Mississippi

[Guest guest]

dear ,

>

> Others don't suppress me like I'd thought.

>

> I SUPPRESS ME!

>

> And in the realization, I go from victim to chooser. I am so grateful

> for this whole thing. I now see I was handing them my power. Well,

> maybe I'm going into another story here. It's all story right?

>

> But anywho, I am very happy, I am not dreading tomorrow. And I am

> quite certain I'll spend some time before I leave the area with my

> previous 'enemies' who are now my great teachers to help me awaken.

>

> I love you all,

> Mississippi

Oh you relised that you are a chooser.

Then can you choose to NOT suppress yourself?

I have a feeling that i keep things bottled...such as self

realization. Is there a way to release them?

nel