Guest guest Posted May 17, 2006 Report Share Posted May 17, 2006 Dear woman who forgets her daughter, Did you apologize? Get an alarm on your watch. Love, nne > Hi, friends, > > I´m back to the group after a ten days´ pause - I´ve been on a > trip to Germany - and what do I find? There´s a lot of changing > going on here on this list ...? > Anyhow, it is as it is. (lol) > But I miss Tami (sorry, lovetheworkofbk !!!) > and - are you still there, angel? .... nne ...???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 17, 2006 Report Share Posted May 17, 2006 Dear Mom Rosemarie, At the end of your post you wrote: I found this one: Next time I may be more honestly listening to > what I really want and maybe ..... well, yes !!!! I learned that from > ´s book " I need you Love. Is that true? " - oh my God, of > course, that´s it! > I would be able to say no to her when she´d ask me something > that I didn´t really want to do. > :-))))) Are you saying that you really didn't want to meet her? That you just wanted to spend the day with ? I'm just asking because I don't want to presume...but that is what I understand from reading this post. Another mom, M > Hi, friends, > > I´m back to the group after a ten days´ pause - I´ve been on a > trip to Germany - and what do I find? There´s a lot of changing > going on here on this list ...? > Anyhow, it is as it is. (lol) > But I miss Tami (sorry, lovetheworkofbk !!!) > and - are you still there, angel? .... nne ...???? > > When I knew I would go to Berlin I called to see if we > can meet there. > We arranged to meet on Sunday afternoon. > I also met my dear daughter that same day as she had been to > Berlin for a couple of days and was due to go back home by train > on Sunday evening. > She asked me if I could drive her to the railwaystation and I said, > yes, of course, I´d like to do that. > So I got to see at platz. My daughter explained to > me how to get there and we agreed to meet her at 7.30 p.m. to > go to the station. > > Now, guess, what happened! I simply seem to have missed to > look at my watch and, finally I was late for my daughter! When > and me were on our way back I suddenly realized that > she was waiting for me ... it was too late, much too late, oh no .... > I had spoiled it !!! > > I haven´t felt that bad, I tell you, for a long time! > > Actually I ´ve been feeling so much love and peace in my life > during the last year - accepting and even LOVING what is. > > But now, for the first time after a long period this " old " feeling > came up again: I was sad, so so sad, I felt ashamed, angry at > myself, ... I just felt desperate ... > How could I forget about my sweet daughter and disregard my > appointment with her? > O.k. It was nice to meet to spend some time with him > walking in the park and talking together. > But why ....? > Why did this happen to me, to my daughter? > Oh, my God ... I´ve heard that so many times: " Everything that > happens is FOR ME ... > > But, honestly speaking I couldn´t find anything good in this. > And I also was not really interested in doing the work on this: > > I ABANDONED MY DAUGHTER. > Is that true? Yes! > > SHE CANNOT RELY ON ME. > > The same. Of course, yes, it´s true! > > I think I was so much afraid having hurt her, that I was not able to > call her and ask what she had done finally, when I didn´t show > up. Did she reach the train? > > I just remember that I finally agreed with myself to stop beating > myself up and I actually succeeded in having another nice day in > Berlin. > This, actually, is interesting for me to notice that there WAS a > certain feeling in me that told me - without doing a worksheet - > that, after all, there is love, that I AM LOVED - no matter what I > do, and that there is no guilt. > > This is what I was able to notice, to feel, to be aware of - > > and, by the way, this is quite different from I was feeling in similar > situations in my earlier life! > > But still - I somehow feel that I cannot forgive myself. That I > SHOULD have been more considerate. > Also I remember when my daughter was a little girl I used to > blame myself of not being good enough as a mother. > And there were many " proofs " to that! > > I remember situations when I " forgot " about her, i.e. to pick her > up at a certain place, to be there in time, ... things like that. > So there is a whole story, a long story, behind this experience of > last Sunday! > I thought that I would have let go of the old story of not being a > good mother ... I really thought this would be over once and for > all. > I was not a good mother. Not good enough when she was small. > Not as good as my sweet little daughter would have deserved it. > > Today I know that this is not possible! > " I wasn´t good enough " - It´s not true, I know that. > > Yet there are these statements lingering in my mind, obviously, > like: > > " You should have been well aware of the needs of your child. " > > " You should be reliable. " > > Well, yes. I should. When I ´ve made an appointed with > someone, a promise, I SHOULD keep it. > > > Today my daughter called me. > She said that she was disappointed. > (Her business, I know!) > She was not really angry, didn´t shout at me or so ... > But she said that she had kinda lost confidence in me .. > next time she wouldn´t be able to trust me. > > So what do I get out of this experience? > > I found this one: Next time I may be more honestly listening to > what I really want and maybe ..... well, yes !!!! I learned that from > ´s book " I need you Love. Is that true? " - oh my God, of > course, that´s it! > I would be able to say no to her when she´d ask me something > that I didn´t really want to do. > :-))))) > > What about you, mothers ( and fathers, and " other " people) ? > Anybody have similar experiences? > > Thank you! > Still-loving-what-is? -Rosemarie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 17, 2006 Report Share Posted May 17, 2006 dear Mom M, looking back on this incident last Sunday (only three days back from now), I find that I simply was not clear enough with myself ..... :-) Not that I wanted to spend all the time with - I guess (!!!) I wanted both : to have time with my daughter/drive her to the station AND to meet ! Maybe I was not willing to make a decision, because I wouldn´t have liked to miss either of them. This is what I seem to do sometimes - I ´m realizing that this moment: I try to do many things within a short time. That day I had been driving for hours from the seaside in the north down to Berlin and it was already 4 p.m. when I dated my daughter. Then I called to meet him at about five, and at 7.30 I wanted to be back for my daughter ! I can see the confusion now. :-) It was simply too many activities within a few hours, wasn´t it? The problem is that I ask myself why am I doing this, time and again? Thank you for your interest, M ! R, confused - but not suffering > > I found this one: Next time I may be more honestly listening to > > what I really want and maybe ..... well, yes !!!! I learned that from > > ´s book " I need you Love. Is that true? " - oh my God, of > > course, that´s it! > > I would be able to say no to her when she´d ask me something > > that I didn´t really want to do. > > :-))))) > > Are you saying that you really didn't want to meet her? That you just > wanted to spend the day with ? > > I'm just asking because I don't want to presume...but that is what I > understand from reading this post. > > Another mom, > > M > > > > > > > > Hi, friends, > > > > I´m back to the group after a ten days´ pause - I´ve been on a > > trip to Germany - and what do I find? There´s a lot of changing > > going on here on this list ...? > > Anyhow, it is as it is. (lol) > > But I miss Tami (sorry, lovetheworkofbk !!!) > > and - are you still there, angel? .... nne ...???? > > > > When I knew I would go to Berlin I called to see if we > > can meet there. > > We arranged to meet on Sunday afternoon. > > I also met my dear daughter that same day as she had been to > > Berlin for a couple of days and was due to go back home by train > > on Sunday evening. > > She asked me if I could drive her to the railwaystation and I said, > > yes, of course, I´d like to do that. > > So I got to see at platz. My daughter explained to > > me how to get there and we agreed to meet her at 7.30 p.m. to > > go to the station. > > > > Now, guess, what happened! I simply seem to have missed to > > look at my watch and, finally I was late for my daughter! When > > and me were on our way back I suddenly realized that > > she was waiting for me ... it was too late, much too late, oh no .... > > I had spoiled it !!! > > > > I haven´t felt that bad, I tell you, for a long time! > > > > Actually I ´ve been feeling so much love and peace in my life > > during the last year - accepting and even LOVING what is. > > > > But now, for the first time after a long period this " old " feeling > > came up again: I was sad, so so sad, I felt ashamed, angry at > > myself, ... I just felt desperate ... > > How could I forget about my sweet daughter and disregard my > > appointment with her? > > O.k. It was nice to meet to spend some time with him > > walking in the park and talking together. > > But why ....? > > Why did this happen to me, to my daughter? > > Oh, my God ... I´ve heard that so many times: " Everything that > > happens is FOR ME ... > > > > But, honestly speaking I couldn´t find anything good in this. > > And I also was not really interested in doing the work on this: > > > > I ABANDONED MY DAUGHTER. > > Is that true? Yes! > > > > SHE CANNOT RELY ON ME. > > > > The same. Of course, yes, it´s true! > > > > I think I was so much afraid having hurt her, that I was not able to > > call her and ask what she had done finally, when I didn´t show > > up. Did she reach the train? > > > > I just remember that I finally agreed with myself to stop beating > > myself up and I actually succeeded in having another nice day in > > Berlin. > > This, actually, is interesting for me to notice that there WAS a > > certain feeling in me that told me - without doing a worksheet - > > that, after all, there is love, that I AM LOVED - no matter what I > > do, and that there is no guilt. > > > > This is what I was able to notice, to feel, to be aware of - > > > > and, by the way, this is quite different from I was feeling in similar > > situations in my earlier life! > > > > But still - I somehow feel that I cannot forgive myself. That I > > SHOULD have been more considerate. > > Also I remember when my daughter was a little girl I used to > > blame myself of not being good enough as a mother. > > And there were many " proofs " to that! > > > > I remember situations when I " forgot " about her, i.e. to pick her > > up at a certain place, to be there in time, ... things like that. > > So there is a whole story, a long story, behind this experience of > > last Sunday! > > I thought that I would have let go of the old story of not being a > > good mother ... I really thought this would be over once and for > > all. > > I was not a good mother. Not good enough when she was small. > > Not as good as my sweet little daughter would have deserved it. > > > > Today I know that this is not possible! > > " I wasn´t good enough " - It´s not true, I know that. > > > > Yet there are these statements lingering in my mind, obviously, > > like: > > > > " You should have been well aware of the needs of your child. " > > > > " You should be reliable. " > > > > Well, yes. I should. When I ´ve made an appointed with > > someone, a promise, I SHOULD keep it. > > > > > > Today my daughter called me. > > She said that she was disappointed. > > (Her business, I know!) > > She was not really angry, didn´t shout at me or so ... > > But she said that she had kinda lost confidence in me .. > > next time she wouldn´t be able to trust me. > > > > So what do I get out of this experience? > > > > I found this one: Next time I may be more honestly listening to > > what I really want and maybe ..... well, yes !!!! I learned that from > > ´s book " I need you Love. Is that true? " - oh my God, of > > course, that´s it! > > I would be able to say no to her when she´d ask me something > > that I didn´t really want to do. > > :-))))) > > > > What about you, mothers ( and fathers, and " other " people) ? > > Anybody have similar experiences? > > > > Thank you! > > Still-loving-what-is? -Rosemarie > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 17, 2006 Report Share Posted May 17, 2006 > Now, guess, what happened! I simply seem to have missed to > look at my watch and, finally I was late for my daughter! When > and me were on our way back I suddenly realized that > she was waiting for me ... it was too late, much too late, oh no .... > I had spoiled it !!! > > I haven´t felt that bad, I tell you, for a long time! Ok, so go with it: write down how your dream goes with getting to pick up your daughter on time. Now, if this had happened, the way you think would have been best, you/your daughter/I would be happier. Can you absolutely know, that that's true? Who would you be without your story? Love, PS: so, did she get the train on time? " my daughter needed me to drive her to the station " - is that true? She may be teaching you something. A lesson you wouldn't have gotten, if anything had been different. ___________________________________________________________ Telefonate ohne weitere Kosten vom PC zum PC: http://messenger.yahoo.de Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 17, 2006 Report Share Posted May 17, 2006 Dear lady who wants it all, Joke time: Clone yourself. Then you can be in two places at once. Okay...so you saw your daughter and then you saw and then you wanted to see your daughter again? You already saw her once? Why go back? I'm confused now. Love, nne > dear Mom M, > > looking back on this incident last Sunday (only three days back > from now), I find that I simply was not clear enough with myself > .... :-) > Not that I wanted to spend all the time with - I guess (!!!) I > wanted both : to have time with my daughter/drive her to the > station AND to meet ! > > Maybe I was not willing to make a decision, because I wouldn´t > have liked to miss either of them. > > This is what I seem to do sometimes - I ´m realizing that this > moment: > I try to do many things within a short time. > > That day I had been driving for hours from the seaside in the > north down to Berlin and it was already 4 p.m. when I dated my > daughter. Then I called to meet him at about five, and at 7.30 > I wanted to be back for my daughter ! > I can see the confusion now. :-) > > It was simply too many activities within a few hours, wasn´t it? > > The problem is that I ask myself why am I doing this, time and > again? > > Thank you for your interest, M ! > > R, confused - but not suffering > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2006 Report Share Posted May 19, 2006 my husabnd once dropped my son of 5, at the time, off at school on a day there was no school.. The maintainence man had to bring him home. And with my other son.. he was coming home from camp and we forgot to pick him up He was really really sad about that one. he had been gone for 3 weeks and i thought the bus came later.. so he called and was the last kid standing all alone.. Sounds funny but it wasnt at the time. I suppose this incident came up for you to realize what you did about it that its ok to say no. Flo says incidents will repeat and repeat over and over until we get the lesson in them. Since you got it this time it probably wont happen again.. but look forward to it. love, roslyn -- In Loving-what-is , " Rosemarie Sadjed " wrote: > > Hi, friends, > > I´m back to the group after a ten days´ pause - I´ve been on a > trip to Germany - and what do I find? There´s a lot of changing > going on here on this list ...? > Anyhow, it is as it is. (lol) > But I miss Tami (sorry, lovetheworkofbk !!!) > and - are you still there, angel? .... nne ...???? > > When I knew I would go to Berlin I called to see if we > can meet there. > We arranged to meet on Sunday afternoon. > I also met my dear daughter that same day as she had been to > Berlin for a couple of days and was due to go back home by train > on Sunday evening. > She asked me if I could drive her to the railwaystation and I said, > yes, of course, I´d like to do that. > So I got to see at platz. My daughter explained to > me how to get there and we agreed to meet her at 7.30 p.m. to > go to the station. > > Now, guess, what happened! I simply seem to have missed to > look at my watch and, finally I was late for my daughter! When > and me were on our way back I suddenly realized that > she was waiting for me ... it was too late, much too late, oh no .... > I had spoiled it !!! > > I haven´t felt that bad, I tell you, for a long time! > > Actually I ´ve been feeling so much love and peace in my life > during the last year - accepting and even LOVING what is. > > But now, for the first time after a long period this " old " feeling > came up again: I was sad, so so sad, I felt ashamed, angry at > myself, ... I just felt desperate ... > How could I forget about my sweet daughter and disregard my > appointment with her? > O.k. It was nice to meet to spend some time with him > walking in the park and talking together. > But why ....? > Why did this happen to me, to my daughter? > Oh, my God ... I´ve heard that so many times: " Everything that > happens is FOR ME ... > > But, honestly speaking I couldn´t find anything good in this. > And I also was not really interested in doing the work on this: > > I ABANDONED MY DAUGHTER. > Is that true? Yes! > > SHE CANNOT RELY ON ME. > > The same. Of course, yes, it´s true! > > I think I was so much afraid having hurt her, that I was not able to > call her and ask what she had done finally, when I didn´t show > up. Did she reach the train? > > I just remember that I finally agreed with myself to stop beating > myself up and I actually succeeded in having another nice day in > Berlin. > This, actually, is interesting for me to notice that there WAS a > certain feeling in me that told me - without doing a worksheet - > that, after all, there is love, that I AM LOVED - no matter what I > do, and that there is no guilt. > > This is what I was able to notice, to feel, to be aware of - > > and, by the way, this is quite different from I was feeling in similar > situations in my earlier life! > > But still - I somehow feel that I cannot forgive myself. That I > SHOULD have been more considerate. > Also I remember when my daughter was a little girl I used to > blame myself of not being good enough as a mother. > And there were many " proofs " to that! > > I remember situations when I " forgot " about her, i.e. to pick her > up at a certain place, to be there in time, ... things like that. > So there is a whole story, a long story, behind this experience of > last Sunday! > I thought that I would have let go of the old story of not being a > good mother ... I really thought this would be over once and for > all. > I was not a good mother. Not good enough when she was small. > Not as good as my sweet little daughter would have deserved it. > > Today I know that this is not possible! > " I wasn´t good enough " - It´s not true, I know that. > > Yet there are these statements lingering in my mind, obviously, > like: > > " You should have been well aware of the needs of your child. " > > " You should be reliable. " > > Well, yes. I should. When I ´ve made an appointed with > someone, a promise, I SHOULD keep it. > > > Today my daughter called me. > She said that she was disappointed. > (Her business, I know!) > She was not really angry, didn´t shout at me or so ... > But she said that she had kinda lost confidence in me .. > next time she wouldn´t be able to trust me. > > So what do I get out of this experience? > > I found this one: Next time I may be more honestly listening to > what I really want and maybe ..... well, yes !!!! I learned that from > ´s book " I need you Love. Is that true? " - oh my God, of > course, that´s it! > I would be able to say no to her when she´d ask me something > that I didn´t really want to do. > :-))))) > > What about you, mothers ( and fathers, and " other " people) ? > Anybody have similar experiences? > > Thank you! > Still-loving-what-is? -Rosemarie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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