Guest guest Posted December 21, 2006 Report Share Posted December 21, 2006 The number one thing I can suggest is sit down and decide if you have the patience to raise a special needs child. I think God decides carefully who to place these children with. I sometimes find myself asking " why me " but at the end of the day I know why. Shyanna has truely been a blessing to not only me but everyone she meets and every life she touches! I was talking to a friend of mine who has a child with a chromosonal abnormality, I'm not certain of the exact name nor do I want to guess. We were talking and she looked at me and said, " Bobbie, it's all HEART, anyone will agree with me when I say that. " I recently remarried in February. I have known my husband for 15 years, started dating 2 years ago, and married in February. Russ didn't have any children before we married, he now has two daughters and a child on the way. He had never had personal experiences with Down Syndrome and has adjusted VERY well. For most of us on this board, we have grown with our children since they were born, for Russ, he jumped on board when Shyanna was 8 years old. You sound like you have a very big heart, considering adopting a child with special needs, it sounds like that little boy deserves parents like the two of you! Just out of curiosity, where are his birth parents and why did they decide to give him up for adoption when he was 3? Bobbie - mom to Shyanna-10 (MDS), Shayla (7) and #3 to arrive in May! Wow.. And Thanks... Just wanted to take a moment and thank everyone who has responded so far.. This is exactly what I was looking for... Personal experiences from people who are currently raising MDS children. My wife and I are still discussing whether or not we can handle this, and are looking at things from a worse case scenario perspective. I have never been one to think that I could handle raising a disabled child, but I seem very drawn to the idea of bringing this little boy into our lives and your responses have gone a long ways towards helping me understand what impact that decision will have on our lives. Thanks again and keep 'em coming.. <?php /* c | eh The Lone Coder http://www.ouradoptionblog.com Join our journey of adoption http://www.thelonecoder.com stephen@... continuing the struggle against bad code */ ?> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2006 Report Share Posted December 21, 2006 Thanks for the insight, and the kind words. To answer your question. The mother is a meth addict and the father is not in the picture. The grandmother is currently accepting guardianship, but the child is currently a ward of the state. He is isn't three, he is 16 months. I assume that the mother was not properly caring for him, and the grandmother stepped in and informed the state. She would like to raise him, but is already 55 years old, and doesn't feel like she could adequately care for his needs. She wants to remain in his life as the grandmother and we would be in agreement with that. <?php /* c | eh The Lone Coder http://www.ouradoptionblog.com Join our journey of adoption http://www.thelonecoder.com stephen@... continuing the struggle against bad code */ ?> > > Reply-To: <MosaicDS > > Date: Thu, 21 Dec 2006 11:15:57 -0600 > To: <MosaicDS > > Subject: Re: Wow.. And Thanks... > > > Just out of curiosity, where are his birth parents and why did they decide to > give him up for adoption when he was 3? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2006 Report Share Posted December 21, 2006 I thought I could add something to the pot. My oldest son, iel, was diagnosed at the age of 3.5 with MDS. So, essentially, we had a " normal " child, for all that we knew for this time. His diagnosis came as an utter shock to us, and we weren't sure of what we were going to do with having a disabled child. Since he was out of " warranty " and we couldn't get our money back, (lol), we began to take Nat one day at a time. My husband, our other children and myself find ourselves blessed to have Nat in our lives. He shows us how to enjoy simple pleasures and to not worry about the wordly aspect of our lives. Everything can be fixed by swinging on a swing or talking it out with your favorite stuffed toy. Nat is one of the hardest working people that I know, along with being oneof the most generous people, too. He loves God with the purest of all hearts. It is humbling at times to realize how much work I need. He has opened many interesting paths in our lives, but the jorney hasn't been too awful. Yes, he does have some medical problems and is delayed in speech, motor, and academic skills, but they are who Nat is. He finally can ride a two wheeled bike and do addition and subtraction. He is a voracious reader, thankfully we have more than 1 bathroom now!! lol We should have known that we were in for an interesting life with Nat, especially when the front page of the Chicago Tribune on the day Nat was born, (50th anniversary of D-Day), read " Undaunted Spirit " . To this day, he lives up to that quote! Regards, Irene mom to Nat 12 MDS, Luke 10, Emilia 7, Lillian 5, Ikey the Dude 3 on the 29th!, and wild #6 due in February Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 22, 2006 Report Share Posted December 22, 2006 I hear those open adoptions are really beneficial to the child. To: MosaicDS@...: stephen@...: Thu, 21 Dec 2006 09:54:46 -0800Subject: Re: Wow.. And Thanks... Thanks for the insight, and the kind words.To answer your question. The mother is a meth addict and the father is notin the picture. The grandmother is currently accepting guardianship, butthe child is currently a ward of the state. He is isn't three, he is 16months. I assume that the mother was not properly caring for him, and thegrandmother stepped in and informed the state.She would like to raise him, but is already 55 years old, and doesn't feellike she could adequately care for his needs. She wants to remain in hislife as the grandmother and we would be in agreement with that.<?php/* c | ehThe Lone Coderhttp://www.ouradoptionblog.comJoin our journey of adoptionhttp://www.thelonecoder.comstephenthelonecodercontinuing the struggle against bad code*/ ?>> > Reply-To: <MosaicDS >> Date: Thu, 21 Dec 2006 11:15:57 -0600> To: <MosaicDS >> Subject: Re: Wow.. And Thanks...> > > Just out of curiosity, where are his birth parents and why did they decide to> give him up for adoption when he was 3? _________________________________________________________________ Type your favorite song. Get a customized station. Try MSN Radio powered by Pandora. http://radio.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 22, 2006 Report Share Posted December 22, 2006 " But is already 55 " First I feel the need to defend all of my fellow grandmothers. I understand that at 55 you wouldn't want to start raising a child, but I am pushing 51 and I don't feel like I should park in my rocker yet. LOL (I am just teasing you - welcome to the group) I am sure it is a tough decision weather or not to adopt a special needs child. I can only tell you that I would not trade my little Adam for anything. Believe me - he can test our nerves - but he is the most loving child. God choses certain people to be the parents of special children. You will know in your heart if he is right for you. Good luck with your decision. Happy Holidays From the 50 one-derful grandmother Donna - gram to Adam 4 mds, Skylar 4 and Mia 3 weeks wrote: Thanks for the insight, and the kind words. To answer your question. The mother is a meth addict and the father is not in the picture. The grandmother is currently accepting guardianship, but the child is currently a ward of the state. He is isn't three, he is 16 months. I assume that the mother was not properly caring for him, and the grandmother stepped in and informed the state. She would like to raise him, but is already 55 years old, and doesn't feel like she could adequately care for his needs. She wants to remain in his life as the grandmother and we would be in agreement with that. <?php /* c | eh The Lone Coder http://www.ouradoptionblog.com Join our journey of adoption http://www.thelonecoder.com stephen@... continuing the struggle against bad code */ ?> > > Reply-To: <MosaicDS > > Date: Thu, 21 Dec 2006 11:15:57 -0600 > To: <MosaicDS > > Subject: Re: Wow.. And Thanks... > > > Just out of curiosity, where are his birth parents and why did they decide to > give him up for adoption when he was 3? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 29, 2006 Report Share Posted December 29, 2006 , My husband and I never thought we would be able to really to handle it either. We had Ollie three months ago and he has truely blessed us! He has brought both our families even closer together and also us as a couple. Don't think of this little guy you are considering making part of your family as disabled. Think of him as being who he is supposed to be. Most of us struggle with a variety of physical and cognative aspects of life, and he will too. All I can say is that Ollie is worth all my worries and tears!!! Angie mom to Ollie 3 months > >Reply-To: MosaicDS >To: <MosaicDS > >Subject: Wow.. And Thanks... >Date: Thu, 21 Dec 2006 08:55:15 -0800 > >Just wanted to take a moment and thank everyone who has responded so far.. > >This is exactly what I was looking for... Personal experiences from people >who are currently raising MDS children. > >My wife and I are still discussing whether or not we can handle this, and >are looking at things from a worse case scenario perspective. I have never >been one to think that I could handle raising a disabled child, but I seem >very drawn to the idea of bringing this little boy into our lives and your >responses have gone a long ways towards helping me understand what impact >that decision will have on our lives. > >Thanks again and keep 'em coming.. > ><?php >/* > > c | eh >The Lone Coder > >http://www.ouradoptionblog.com >Join our journey of adoption > >http://www.thelonecoder.com >stephen@... > >continuing the struggle against bad code > >*/ >?> > > > _________________________________________________________________ Your Hotmail address already works to sign into Windows Live Messenger! Get it now http://clk.atdmt.com/MSN/go/msnnkwme0020000001msn/direct/01/?href=http://get.liv\ e.com/messenger/overview Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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