Wish I had more time, quick intro

[Guest guest]

Just a note to thank you folks for putting yourselves and your

experiences " out there " for others to share. I've got tears in my

eyes now and I've been reading old topics for the last hour or so.

I am starting to feel hope and I look forward to feeling powerful.

I wish I'd found such a group several years ago when I first tried

going NC with my " nada " . I did it on my own for my survival and was

just making it up as I went along. I had no idea that other people

had been through this and felt so alone. At first, I did pretty

well considering my lack of knowledge and support, but failed in the

end and surrendered under her terms.

I lasted 9 months and ended up re-connecting b/c I got roped into

one of her suicidal episodes by a family member who was recruited by

her crappy in-patient therapist.

Tonight, I'm wishing I'd resisted, had more support, known better,

etc. I could've had these past 7 years to rebuild my life in a

different way. Instead I feel like I'm making up for lost time and

I'm at least a decade behind. I have made progress, and improved my

skills at setting boundaries and resisting her games, but I think I

need to move on without her for good. And I can't think of anything

I can gain from the relationship other than intelligence gathering

so I can be ready for her next tactic.

My wife and I are now expecting a baby and there's no room in my

life for her crap. And I REFUSE to let her destroy another child's

life. Since she found out about the pregnancy, she has begun upping

the ante and severely testing me. She plays to win, and she wants

to take priority over my wife/child. So regardless of whether I

ever felt worthy of the same protection, I have 5 months left to

decide if my son will have her in his life or not. I think I've

already decided, and now I'm just building the courage to it (NC)

again, but this time forever.

There are some complications in going NC, I work in mental health

(big surprise, huh?) and my agency would be her treatment provider

if I didn't work there. I fear her impact on my professional life

once she feels she has nothing to lose. She has already tried it

against my wife who is also a social worker.

I'll share more details later, I'm short on time. But I wanted to

do a quick intro and a message of thanks. Seeing your discussions

proves to me that there is another way, and I have choices to make.

Thanks again and take care,

" Mark "

(slightly better than Doe, huh?)