... we´ll have to wait and see.

[Guest guest]

Dear Andy, lovethework, Steve, , Tamara, Roslyn,

,

yesterday I printed out some of your recent posts

and spent part fo my day with reading them ...

But after a while it was getting strenuous, I was excited all the

time!

I found myself kind of captured !

I felt like I´d have a fever, and today I´ve got a sore throat ...

Today I still feel that I´m not really healthy .... the body-mind is

responding to the heavy food the " mind " - or whatever !!!!!!! - had

been provided with !

But I feel good, don´t worry! (Only the body " tries " to resist, but " I "

am quite o.k. - no, it´s more than that - I´m enjoying it !)

So, that´s what I want to share with you today:

I feel that I cannot compete with you in the discussions ...

but instead I engaged in looking into my life to - maybe - see in

which way these discussions, these insights, these attempts to

understand the whole stuff ( what is the ego, God, the Son of

God, the mind, time, decisions, ....) what has all that stuff got to

do with my life, i.e. is there a relation between theoretical display

and " my " own personal experiences ?

Answer: Yes, there is !!!!!

And that´s great, I tell you!

The situation:

I´ve got two options of how to go on with my present job after

summer this year. (It is obviously a time of great change for me. )

Also I want to go to Africa again.

But I don´t DO anything. I really found that there is no need to !

Great ! Yes, that´s it !

Today I had a talk with my boss - which had not been planned -

and we agreed on having more meetings on that topic with

some of the authorities responsible in this matter.

Fact: At present I do not know whether I shall do a certain job

(whether they will be interested in having me do this new job, will

I be invited, engaged? or not?)

or: Will I go to Africa and committ myself to the idea of

establishing a primary school as had been suggested by my

African friends and me last year .... ?

Whenever people ask me what are you going to do next year, I

honestly answer " I don´t know. I´ll see. "

I just watch myself getting up in the morning and doing certain

things, and not doing others.

What will I be doing tomorrow? Let´s see.

Who will call me, who will cross my way, where will I go, what

book will I read and who will make any suggestions to me ......

and so on

Maybe this is not at all new for you and you have made this kind

of experiences long time ago.

But for me it is really exciting.

What I found is that to live my life that way ( " I just live my life

watching myself what I´m going to do the next moment. " ) brings

me peace.

And there is no fear either.

There is no more fear because I´ve no preference, I don´t WANT

to decide and vote whether for Africa or for the job in my town.

I´ll see what the outcome will be and I´ll be completely satisfied

with it.

Because " I " cannot do anything " false " .

NO MISTAKES !!!

Thank you for this story, Tamara!

It´s delicious!

Well, that was my report on how the discussions going on here

have - as it seems - effected my experiences, lately.

And ------- Andy, in one of your posts to me you wrote :

" Now for some reason Rosemarie is being directed to examine

the foundation of that confusion. How will she fare? Well, ....

we´ll have to wait and see. "

Oh, dear, you are so cute!

That sounded to me as if there would be a caring understanding

father who´s ready to be patient enough to wait for his child to

grow up ( or, in that case : to WAKE UP !!!!

I think I´m a good child :-):-)

Oh, sorry, of course I know, it´s not ME deciding to awake :-)......

Have a good night, everybody!

love,

Rosemarie