Re: Bus Stuff

[Guest guest]

Sounds good- you did it. It was hard, but you managed to let your husband

do it instead. Its a big first step.

-Ata

>

> Hello Guys, Well thinks have been pretty busy around here but I do

> have something to tell you that I am proud of. I have a real hard

> time of letting go of any control when it comes to my kids. I want

> to know what is happening with them at all times. I have only been

> away from them the one time at that was when we went to Vegas this

> past spring. I don't even leave them with dh when I go get

> groceries. I am pretty bad when it comes to the kids. It's not that

> I don't trust the people around me, maybe the kids need me, maybe I

> can do a better job, maybe I will love them more. I know I have a

> fear problem due to my nada, I also know I have a control problem

> due to nada. Of course my kids go to school but I stand in the

> driveway with them waiting for the bus, or I will take them myself

> if they want. I just can't let them be abused by somebody you never

> know who it will be. I was the kid who never had a mom or dad at

> home after school. I was always alone and often locked out.

> Needless to say this is a real sore spot for me. But I was up town

> shopping and dh was home 30 minutes way from town. He said he would

> wait for our son to get off the bus. I gave up the control and

> stayed up town and dh got our son off the bus. I only called maybe 5

> or 6 times to make sure, but I did it, I stayed up town. It was

> really really hard for me. I just sat in a chair up town took a few

> minutes of breathing and bathroom break and resisted calling for

> the 7th time. I wanted so bad to call and say, repeat after me

> promise you will stand out side 15 minutes before the bus comes

> waiting for him. But I didn't! I think I was making him mad already

> with how much I called but I needed to be reassured. Now I did it

> one time maybe the next time will not be so hard. It may seem

> insignificant but for me this was groundbreaking. I was with my

> grandma up town and she was helping to relax me and reassure me that

> dh was there he would not leave him out side. I know that already

> but the memories were flooding back of what my parents did to me and

> I never what my children to feel that pain. I'm just a little nerdy

> Love Lizzy

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Lizzy!

I'm so happy for you--and you must be feeling really proud of

yourself, too, for taking that step!

I understand those feelings 100% about not wanting your children to

experience any of the bad things you experienced, and wanting to be

there for them. I have some of those same feelings at times. I will

leave them with DH or grandparents or my best gf, but in general, I

have a hard time trusting others to take care of them. And I think I

spend more time with them than maybe the " average mother " ...

This weekend, we took the kids to the county fair and they wanted to

see " the pig races " . So being kids, they got to sit right up front by

the racetrack. I stood back with the adults but made sure I could see

them. But it got more and more crowded, so that just by glancing, I

couldn't see them anymore. I knew right where they were, I knew they

were happy, I knew they were together, I knew they could find me in

five seconds if they wanted me, I knew they wouldn't leave...and yet,

I was getting more and more uncomfortable just because I couldn't see

them. And I realized, it wasn't because I thought anything would

happen to them, sitting a few feet away watching the pig races. It's

because I was so worried, what if they wanted me or needed me and I

wasn't right there? DS is bigger so I wasn't so much worried about

him, but DD is little and might " want mommy " ... Once I realized that's

why I was feeling so uncomfortable, then I could deal with it better.

I had some of those same feelings when dd wanted to go on some of the

" big kid rides " at the fair, and her brother took her on, and a couple

of times she looked scared because it was bigger rides than she was

used to. I was standing there feeling SO awful that I was not on the

ride to reassure her or cheer her or w/e. But her brother did a fine

job of that, and by the end of every ride she chose, she was smiling

and having fun. It was a learning experience for me.

Anyway, I understand those feelings, always wanting to " be there for

the kids " since we didn't have that. And yet, when we can find that

balance, when we can step back a step sometimes (like you with the bus

and me at the fair) I think it also teaches them something valuable,

that they are okay without us. It's ok for dad to pick me up at the

bus, it's ok to try a big-kid ride with brother. And when they're

older, it'll be okay to go somewhere by themselves, etc.

Anyway, hurray for Lizzy!

Janie

[Guest guest]

Congrats, Lizzy! I understand how hard it was for you to do. You

did it once and now you have the memory to help sustain you.

I challenge you to schedule your next pratice session within the

next week and get the support you need around you to make it a

success.

Cheers,

a

>

> Hello Guys, Well thinks have been pretty busy around here but I do

> have something to tell you that I am proud of. I have a real hard

> time of letting go of any control when it comes to my kids. I want

> to know what is happening with them at all times. I have only been

> away from them the one time at that was when we went to Vegas this

> past spring. I don't even leave them with dh when I go get

> groceries. I am pretty bad when it comes to the kids. It's not

that

> I don't trust the people around me, maybe the kids need me, maybe

I

> can do a better job, maybe I will love them more. I know I have a

> fear problem due to my nada, I also know I have a control problem

> due to nada. Of course my kids go to school but I stand in the

> driveway with them waiting for the bus, or I will take them

myself

> if they want. I just can't let them be abused by somebody you

never

> know who it will be. I was the kid who never had a mom or dad at

> home after school. I was always alone and often locked out.

> Needless to say this is a real sore spot for me. But I was up town

> shopping and dh was home 30 minutes way from town. He said he

would

> wait for our son to get off the bus. I gave up the control and

> stayed up town and dh got our son off the bus. I only called maybe

5

> or 6 times to make sure, but I did it, I stayed up town. It was

> really really hard for me. I just sat in a chair up town took a

few

> minutes of breathing and bathroom break and resisted calling for

> the 7th time. I wanted so bad to call and say, repeat after me

> promise you will stand out side 15 minutes before the bus comes

> waiting for him. But I didn't! I think I was making him mad

already

> with how much I called but I needed to be reassured. Now I did it

> one time maybe the next time will not be so hard. It may seem

> insignificant but for me this was groundbreaking. I was with my

> grandma up town and she was helping to relax me and reassure me

that

> dh was there he would not leave him out side. I know that already

> but the memories were flooding back of what my parents did to me

and

> I never what my children to feel that pain. I'm just a little

nerdy

> Love Lizzy

>

[Guest guest]

Lizzy,

Have you considered going back into therapy for this issue? Reading you post,

I can just feel the pain of what happened to you and it is rearing its ugly head

to be healed; this really has very little to do with anyone else but you. And

being an overprotective parent does just as much damage as a neglectful one. I

know that you want the very best for your kids.

Greg.

lizzyboo81 wrote:

Hello Guys, Well thinks have been pretty busy around here but I do

have something to tell you that I am proud of. I have a real hard

time of letting go of any control when it comes to my kids. I want

to know what is happening with them at all times. I have only been

away from them the one time at that was when we went to Vegas this

past spring. I don't even leave them with dh when I go get

groceries. I am pretty bad when it comes to the kids. It's not that

I don't trust the people around me, maybe the kids need me, maybe I

can do a better job, maybe I will love them more. I know I have a

fear problem due to my nada, I also know I have a control problem

due to nada. Of course my kids go to school but I stand in the

driveway with them waiting for the bus, or I will take them myself

if they want. I just can't let them be abused by somebody you never

know who it will be. I was the kid who never had a mom or dad at

home after school. I was always alone and often locked out.

Needless to say this is a real sore spot for me. But I was up town

shopping and dh was home 30 minutes way from town. He said he would

wait for our son to get off the bus. I gave up the control and

stayed up town and dh got our son off the bus. I only called maybe 5

or 6 times to make sure, but I did it, I stayed up town. It was

really really hard for me. I just sat in a chair up town took a few

minutes of breathing and bathroom break and resisted calling for

the 7th time. I wanted so bad to call and say, repeat after me

promise you will stand out side 15 minutes before the bus comes

waiting for him. But I didn't! I think I was making him mad already

with how much I called but I needed to be reassured. Now I did it

one time maybe the next time will not be so hard. It may seem

insignificant but for me this was groundbreaking. I was with my

grandma up town and she was helping to relax me and reassure me that

dh was there he would not leave him out side. I know that already

but the memories were flooding back of what my parents did to me and

I never what my children to feel that pain. I'm just a little nerdy

Love Lizzy

---------------------------------

Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates

starting at 1¢/min.

[Guest guest]

I remember a lot of times I wish my Nada would go away. I mean it wasn't

suffocating because she cared oh so much but it was because everything

always had to be her way and she was always right and in her eyes I was

always doing something to her or my brother. So I was trying to get her to

go places by herself, like the grocery store, or the garden store (those

were the only places I think she really went). Sometimes she could be gone

to the grocery store for a couple of hours and return with five things. I

thought that was hilarious, I made a joke that she must be a russian spy,

etc. I didn't care where she went or if she was really at the grocery

store, mind, and I tried to encourage dating and friends and all that stuff

but no go.

When she was gone we got to breath freely.

Now at the same time I think there is this danger of leaving kids ALONE too

much especially in todays world where we have all sorts of tv and the net

and so forth but there is a big diff between alone and with other trusted

people like friends and family and your DH and the nanny and so forth.

So take the small steps and see where they lead you.

-Ata

>

> Lizzy,

>

> Have you considered going back into therapy for this issue? Reading you

> post, I can just feel the pain of what happened to you and it is rearing its

> ugly head to be healed; this really has very little to do with anyone else

> but you. And being an overprotective parent does just as much damage as a

> neglectful one. I know that you want the very best for your kids.

>

> Greg.

>

> lizzyboo81 <lizzyboo81@... <lizzyboo81%40yahoo.com>> wrote:

> Hello Guys, Well thinks have been pretty busy around here but I do

> have something to tell you that I am proud of. I have a real hard

> time of letting go of any control when it comes to my kids. I want

> to know what is happening with them at all times. I have only been

> away from them the one time at that was when we went to Vegas this

> past spring. I don't even leave them with dh when I go get

> groceries. I am pretty bad when it comes to the kids. It's not that

> I don't trust the people around me, maybe the kids need me, maybe I

> can do a better job, maybe I will love them more. I know I have a

> fear problem due to my nada, I also know I have a control problem

> due to nada. Of course my kids go to school but I stand in the

> driveway with them waiting for the bus, or I will take them myself

> if they want. I just can't let them be abused by somebody you never

> know who it will be. I was the kid who never had a mom or dad at

> home after school. I was always alone and often locked out.

> Needless to say this is a real sore spot for me. But I was up town

> shopping and dh was home 30 minutes way from town. He said he would

> wait for our son to get off the bus. I gave up the control and

> stayed up town and dh got our son off the bus. I only called maybe 5

> or 6 times to make sure, but I did it, I stayed up town. It was

> really really hard for me. I just sat in a chair up town took a few

> minutes of breathing and bathroom break and resisted calling for

> the 7th time. I wanted so bad to call and say, repeat after me

> promise you will stand out side 15 minutes before the bus comes

> waiting for him. But I didn't! I think I was making him mad already

> with how much I called but I needed to be reassured. Now I did it

> one time maybe the next time will not be so hard. It may seem

> insignificant but for me this was groundbreaking. I was with my

> grandma up town and she was helping to relax me and reassure me that

> dh was there he would not leave him out side. I know that already

> but the memories were flooding back of what my parents did to me and

> I never what my children to feel that pain. I'm just a little nerdy

> Love Lizzy

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates

> starting at 1¢/min.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Janie, Greg, a, and ATA, Thanks for the replies, I am really

going to try hard and work on this. I would like to go back to

therapy for this (among other things) but with moving and all

(around 6 months now)I am really not sure what is all out here. I

have not taken the time to explore yet. I was seeing a T. before I

left for a while but not nearly long enough. Bills were piling up

and I stopped but now that we have the finances I would like to

start up again. I have let my children go with my husband, grandma

or aunt for a few hours at a time but it feels different because I

am dropping them off and picking them up I can visualize the

goodbyes and the pickups. With this bus issues, to me I am not there

to see him get off and be safe. It is a whole new ball game. I

remember my nada would lie to my dad and say she would be there but

go to the bar or go with a bf and I was alone locked out even in the

winters and we live up north. To me I remember the feelings of

abandonment and I hate the idea of my children having to feel that.

I can feel comfortable going to a dinner party while they stay with

grandma or if they want a play date with cousin I can let them go

and I will go home and clean the house or something but to me this

thing with him getting off the bus is sooo touchy. I want to be

there every time and to let go of some of that control was really

hard, I really had to put my faith and trust into dh after my heart

was/is so broken in that area. I have told him one of my stories of

being alone locked outside in the winter and he took it really to

heart. So I think he is able to have sympathy on me. I really want

to work on this but obviously this like everything else in life

can't happen over night. So I will take it a step at a time. The

differance is I know dh would never do to my children what my nada

did to me. But the feelings of vulnerability came flooding back. I

will just keep practicing. Thanks for all the ideas and support I

know I have to work on this and I will try to do a planned even in

the near future for my own practice. I could use the time away

anyways maybe a day at the spa is sounding good! Love Lizzy

>

> Lizzy!

> I'm so happy for you--and you must be feeling really proud of

> yourself, too, for taking that step!

>

> I understand those feelings 100% about not wanting your children to

> experience any of the bad things you experienced, and wanting to be

> there for them. I have some of those same feelings at times. I will

> leave them with DH or grandparents or my best gf, but in general, I

> have a hard time trusting others to take care of them. And I think

I

> spend more time with them than maybe the " average mother " ...

>

> This weekend, we took the kids to the county fair and they wanted

to

> see " the pig races " . So being kids, they got to sit right up front

by

> the racetrack. I stood back with the adults but made sure I could

see

> them. But it got more and more crowded, so that just by glancing, I

> couldn't see them anymore. I knew right where they were, I knew

they

> were happy, I knew they were together, I knew they could find me in

> five seconds if they wanted me, I knew they wouldn't leave...and

yet,

> I was getting more and more uncomfortable just because I couldn't

see

> them. And I realized, it wasn't because I thought anything would

> happen to them, sitting a few feet away watching the pig races.

It's

> because I was so worried, what if they wanted me or needed me and I

> wasn't right there? DS is bigger so I wasn't so much worried about

> him, but DD is little and might " want mommy " ... Once I realized

that's

> why I was feeling so uncomfortable, then I could deal with it

better.

>

> I had some of those same feelings when dd wanted to go on some of

the

> " big kid rides " at the fair, and her brother took her on, and a

couple

> of times she looked scared because it was bigger rides than she was

> used to. I was standing there feeling SO awful that I was not on

the

> ride to reassure her or cheer her or w/e. But her brother did a

fine

> job of that, and by the end of every ride she chose, she was

smiling

> and having fun. It was a learning experience for me.

>

> Anyway, I understand those feelings, always wanting to " be there

for

> the kids " since we didn't have that. And yet, when we can find that

> balance, when we can step back a step sometimes (like you with the

bus

> and me at the fair) I think it also teaches them something

valuable,

> that they are okay without us. It's ok for dad to pick me up at the

> bus, it's ok to try a big-kid ride with brother. And when they're

> older, it'll be okay to go somewhere by themselves, etc.

>

> Anyway, hurray for Lizzy!

> Janie

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Lizzy,

Congratulaions. That really was an accomplishment. It is a big

challenge to have faith and trust in other people, and to know when

you need to take control and when it is okay to just allow life to

happen. You took a very big step.

Sylvia

>

> Hello Guys, Well thinks have been pretty busy around here but I do

> have something to tell you that I am proud of. I have a real hard

> time of letting go of any control when it comes to my kids. I want

> to know what is happening with them at all times. I have only been

> away from them the one time at that was when we went to Vegas this

> past spring. I don't even leave them with dh when I go get

> groceries. I am pretty bad when it comes to the kids. It's not

that

> I don't trust the people around me, maybe the kids need me, maybe

I

> can do a better job, maybe I will love them more. I know I have a

> fear problem due to my nada, I also know I have a control problem

> due to nada. Of course my kids go to school but I stand in the

> driveway with them waiting for the bus, or I will take them

myself

> if they want. I just can't let them be abused by somebody you

never

> know who it will be. I was the kid who never had a mom or dad at

> home after school. I was always alone and often locked out.

> Needless to say this is a real sore spot for me. But I was up town

> shopping and dh was home 30 minutes way from town. He said he

would

> wait for our son to get off the bus. I gave up the control and

> stayed up town and dh got our son off the bus. I only called maybe

5

> or 6 times to make sure, but I did it, I stayed up town. It was

> really really hard for me. I just sat in a chair up town took a

few

> minutes of breathing and bathroom break and resisted calling for

> the 7th time. I wanted so bad to call and say, repeat after me

> promise you will stand out side 15 minutes before the bus comes

> waiting for him. But I didn't! I think I was making him mad

already

> with how much I called but I needed to be reassured. Now I did it

> one time maybe the next time will not be so hard. It may seem

> insignificant but for me this was groundbreaking. I was with my

> grandma up town and she was helping to relax me and reassure me

that

> dh was there he would not leave him out side. I know that already

> but the memories were flooding back of what my parents did to me

and

> I never what my children to feel that pain. I'm just a little

nerdy

> Love Lizzy

>

[Guest guest]

Lizzy,

Good for you. it sounds like you are planning on how to take care of your

need to address the abuse you suffered at your nada's hands. I am sure that

other people have mentioned this to you, however, I think it bears repeating:

You are NOT your mother. I, too, like so many people here have mentioned how

proud they are of you for taking such a large step by having your dh pick up

your son at the bus stop. I know how difficult it is to find a new therapist in

a new place; I just got back from my first visit with my new psychiatrist. I'm

going to address dating related issues that stem from abuse beyond words from

way back when in the past. I won't let my life, nor the people in my life,

suffer due to have insane parents. If I did, they would win b/c they still

would be controlling me. I'm worth it. You're worth it.

Keep up the great work, Lizzy.

Greg.

lizzyboo81 wrote:

Hi Janie, Greg, a, and ATA, Thanks for the replies, I am really

going to try hard and work on this. I would like to go back to

therapy for this (among other things) but with moving and all

(around 6 months now)I am really not sure what is all out here. I

have not taken the time to explore yet. I was seeing a T. before I

left for a while but not nearly long enough. Bills were piling up

and I stopped but now that we have the finances I would like to

start up again. I have let my children go with my husband, grandma

or aunt for a few hours at a time but it feels different because I

am dropping them off and picking them up I can visualize the

goodbyes and the pickups. With this bus issues, to me I am not there

to see him get off and be safe. It is a whole new ball game. I

remember my nada would lie to my dad and say she would be there but

go to the bar or go with a bf and I was alone locked out even in the

winters and we live up north. To me I remember the feelings of

abandonment and I hate the idea of my children having to feel that.

I can feel comfortable going to a dinner party while they stay with

grandma or if they want a play date with cousin I can let them go

and I will go home and clean the house or something but to me this

thing with him getting off the bus is sooo touchy. I want to be

there every time and to let go of some of that control was really

hard, I really had to put my faith and trust into dh after my heart

was/is so broken in that area. I have told him one of my stories of

being alone locked outside in the winter and he took it really to

heart. So I think he is able to have sympathy on me. I really want

to work on this but obviously this like everything else in life

can't happen over night. So I will take it a step at a time. The

differance is I know dh would never do to my children what my nada

did to me. But the feelings of vulnerability came flooding back. I

will just keep practicing. Thanks for all the ideas and support I

know I have to work on this and I will try to do a planned even in

the near future for my own practice. I could use the time away

anyways maybe a day at the spa is sounding good! Love Lizzy

>

> Lizzy!

> I'm so happy for you--and you must be feeling really proud of

> yourself, too, for taking that step!

>

> I understand those feelings 100% about not wanting your children to

> experience any of the bad things you experienced, and wanting to be

> there for them. I have some of those same feelings at times. I will

> leave them with DH or grandparents or my best gf, but in general, I

> have a hard time trusting others to take care of them. And I think

I

> spend more time with them than maybe the " average mother " ...

>

> This weekend, we took the kids to the county fair and they wanted

to

> see " the pig races " . So being kids, they got to sit right up front

by

> the racetrack. I stood back with the adults but made sure I could

see

> them. But it got more and more crowded, so that just by glancing, I

> couldn't see them anymore. I knew right where they were, I knew

they

> were happy, I knew they were together, I knew they could find me in

> five seconds if they wanted me, I knew they wouldn't leave...and

yet,

> I was getting more and more uncomfortable just because I couldn't

see

> them. And I realized, it wasn't because I thought anything would

> happen to them, sitting a few feet away watching the pig races.

It's

> because I was so worried, what if they wanted me or needed me and I

> wasn't right there? DS is bigger so I wasn't so much worried about

> him, but DD is little and might " want mommy " ... Once I realized

that's

> why I was feeling so uncomfortable, then I could deal with it

better.

>

> I had some of those same feelings when dd wanted to go on some of

the

> " big kid rides " at the fair, and her brother took her on, and a

couple

> of times she looked scared because it was bigger rides than she was

> used to. I was standing there feeling SO awful that I was not on

the

> ride to reassure her or cheer her or w/e. But her brother did a

fine

> job of that, and by the end of every ride she chose, she was

smiling

> and having fun. It was a learning experience for me.

>

> Anyway, I understand those feelings, always wanting to " be there

for

> the kids " since we didn't have that. And yet, when we can find that

> balance, when we can step back a step sometimes (like you with the

bus

> and me at the fair) I think it also teaches them something

valuable,

> that they are okay without us. It's ok for dad to pick me up at the

> bus, it's ok to try a big-kid ride with brother. And when they're

> older, it'll be okay to go somewhere by themselves, etc.

>

> Anyway, hurray for Lizzy!

> Janie

>

---------------------------------

All-new Yahoo! Mail - Fire up a more powerful email and get things done faster.

[Guest guest]

Hey Greg, Thanks for the kind heartfelt words. I know with logic

these things but sometimes you are right it does need repeating just

because. So thank you for taking the time. I am so happy you have

the opportunity to see somebody in your new area. I know from just a

few of your posts you have suffered incredible abuse I am sure

beyond anything I ever had. I was wondering have you ever read the

book " A Child Called It " . I was in and Noble one day

drinking a latte I picked up that book and read the book right

there. I think my kids got tiered of playing with the train

so I don`t remember if I finished the last bit of it but I bet I got

through at least most of it if not all it. That was a year or two

ago and I can't really recall. However it was so good I think I

would pick it up again. You know how it is with kids you get

distracted forget what you wanted and what you were doing but now

that I thought of it I think I will put it on my list of books to

buy. Although some of his abuse was different from mine I could

relate to much of what he said. I bet you would be able to relate to

this book also because this mother was singling out just this one

child and abusing him in a way that like you say is beyond words. I

could not imagine treating a total stranger or even enemies the way

some mother treat their children. I hope you like your new T. I hope

you get all that you need from that person. I really will continue

on with my therapy at some point in the near future I know for a

fact I will be unable to go through collage with out some support. I

will need additional outlets. Right now I am ok I do like this place

for an outlet and the times when life gets so busy I can't even come

here and read or post I feel like something is missing. The people

here are so beautiful and loving. I find this whole experience

inspiring. How wonderful to be part of a group of survivors. We made

it and we make it each day. I know sometimes things for me are hard

but they get better with time a plan and support. So thank for being

part of that. We are making it! Love Lizzy

> >

> > Lizzy!

> > I'm so happy for you--and you must be feeling really proud of

> > yourself, too, for taking that step!

> >

> > I understand those feelings 100% about not wanting your children

to

> > experience any of the bad things you experienced, and wanting to

be

> > there for them. I have some of those same feelings at times. I

will

> > leave them with DH or grandparents or my best gf, but in

general, I

> > have a hard time trusting others to take care of them. And I

think

> I

> > spend more time with them than maybe the " average mother " ...

> >

> > This weekend, we took the kids to the county fair and they

wanted

> to

> > see " the pig races " . So being kids, they got to sit right up

front

> by

> > the racetrack. I stood back with the adults but made sure I

could

> see

> > them. But it got more and more crowded, so that just by

glancing, I

> > couldn't see them anymore. I knew right where they were, I knew

> they

> > were happy, I knew they were together, I knew they could find me

in

> > five seconds if they wanted me, I knew they wouldn't leave...and

> yet,

> > I was getting more and more uncomfortable just because I

couldn't

> see

> > them. And I realized, it wasn't because I thought anything would

> > happen to them, sitting a few feet away watching the pig races.

> It's

> > because I was so worried, what if they wanted me or needed me

and I

> > wasn't right there? DS is bigger so I wasn't so much worried

about

> > him, but DD is little and might " want mommy " ... Once I realized

> that's

> > why I was feeling so uncomfortable, then I could deal with it

> better.

> >

> > I had some of those same feelings when dd wanted to go on some

of

> the

> > " big kid rides " at the fair, and her brother took her on, and a

> couple

> > of times she looked scared because it was bigger rides than she

was

> > used to. I was standing there feeling SO awful that I was not on

> the

> > ride to reassure her or cheer her or w/e. But her brother did a

> fine

> > job of that, and by the end of every ride she chose, she was

> smiling

> > and having fun. It was a learning experience for me.

> >

> > Anyway, I understand those feelings, always wanting to " be there

> for

> > the kids " since we didn't have that. And yet, when we can find

that

> > balance, when we can step back a step sometimes (like you with

the

> bus

> > and me at the fair) I think it also teaches them something

> valuable,

> > that they are okay without us. It's ok for dad to pick me up at

the

> > bus, it's ok to try a big-kid ride with brother. And when they're

> > older, it'll be okay to go somewhere by themselves, etc.

> >

> > Anyway, hurray for Lizzy!

> > Janie

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

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