(No subject)

[Guest guest]

I am saddened and disappointed in nne because I feel that she is not

supportive or helpful to me on this forum in my attempts to live my integrity

and apply the work to my life.

So, M should be suportive of my attempts to live my integrity and apply the

work to my life. Is that true?

YES! That is why I am involved in this forum. I need support and

encouragement here, I get enough other shit from life outside the forum to do

the work on, here I want people to apply the principles of the work and

encourage and support me and others in doing

so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can I absolutely know that M should do this? Can I know it would be better

for mypath if M was more supportive to me? Can I know more than God?

What is the reality?

I cannot absolutely know that M should respond in a way that seems supportive

to me. In reality she responds from her own place of integrity, regardless of

how that looks to me.

How do I react? I see her responses to me as challenges. I see her

attempting to correct me and not others. I see her as thinking that she needs

to rescue and defend. I see her as taking sides....again. I see her as giving

LAA to her 'favourites' rather than using the forum to move and support the

principles of the work. I feel tired. I defend myself. I try to clarify to

show that I am trying to do the work here, not attack or criticise other

members. I feel attacked by her, criticised by her. I see her as contributing

to an 'us and them' mentallity between certain members. I feel discouraged and

hopeless around the thought of trying to get support for doing the work and

applying it in my life.

What do I get for holding this belief?

I get to play the role of victim. I get to defend myself (go to war...), I

get to try to prove that I am right and she is wrong. I get to feel discouraged

and weary. I get to find ways to debate rather than do the work on what is

arising within me...

Who would I b e without the thought?

I would see nne's responses to me as her opinions. I would be more able

to find the truth in what she is saying, if not now, or in what I write here,

perhaps in my thoughts, and in my past reactions to others. I would feel

supported and encouraged regardless of her words. I would feel the support and

encouragement that is available from others, from everyone, from everything. I

might be able to feel that this is happening for me instead of feeling that it

is happening to me....

Turn around:

nne should not be supportive to me ~ until she is.

I should be supportive of me ~ yes.

I should be supportive of Marrianne ~ yes, it feels kinder to me when I am

supportive.

nne IS supportive of me ~ this could be just as true, whether I see it or

not. I can't feel this, and I can see that it may be just as true.

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