, flashbacks (was new to the group)

[Guest guest]

Yeah , I could definitely imagine getting a flashback from

dealing with an upset family member when I'm working to get much

needed distance. I can even get physical symptoms like shaking,

dizziness, panick etc. I realize you're close to your aunt and love

her and that no one is perfect, BUT she doesn't have to listen to your

nada rage for one hour and you are not exactly the ideal person for

her to call and vent to when she does--as you already are dealing with

this situation. You might want to wait until things calm down a bit

and try to talk to your aunt about this. I've asked other family

members not to relay my nada's bullshit to me--and I've also asked my

nada not to pass on any of the FOO drama. It's because it freaks me

out and then I have to recover--I don't need everyone in my FOO

reminding me of this stuff.

Anyway, I'm sorry for all of this, but in this case, your aunt has

acted as what I call " the weak link " your nada knows she can't rage at

you or get to you directly because you've laid down the NC, so she

calls your aunt who won't tell her where she can stick it and then

hang up on her AND will then call you and rope you back into this

whole thing. Watch out for that dynamic.

Trish

> >

> > richardson20214,

> >

> > Ohhh yes! The ungrateful daughter! But we get that both ways right?

> > Cuz when mine would lie on the couch, doing nothinggggg and

> creating

> > even more work for those around her, NPD stepdad would go on and on

> > about how hardworking nada is, how devoted, how self-sacrificing,

> how

> > she tries to help when she's in such agony, what a trooper, blah

> blah

> > blah. And how ungrateful I was (bad daughter! bad! bad!) to

> continue

> > to pack my boxes (or whatever), while my dear mother was lying

> there

> > on her bed of pain, moaning or whimpering or whatnot, like a

> n

> > maiden in full swoon.

> >

> > And of course the " temptation " was to throttle him and scream " Are

> you

> > insane?!?!?! She's lying there on her lazy hypochondriacal butt! "

> > But...since I'm neither a throttler nor a screamer...in reality I

> > would try to tune both of them out...as the knot in my stomach

> tightened.

> >

> > Ai yi yi.

> > Janie

> >

>