Accepting criticism when it doesnt seem true.

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

Am 04.03.2006 um 02:14 schrieb :

> Dear , Thank you for your insights. I did do some inquiry on

> the thought " Carol doesnt love me " which was helpful.

> When I feel attacked, I feel unloved,

> and I realized that it was me not loving me!

> So that was very useful to realize.

sweet.

> But I am in no way attacking Carol, Just telling her what I believe

> to be true for me.

Really, in " no way " ? Not even a little bit, in your mind?

For me that would mean you see where she is right, not only

intelectually understandig what she wants and that she wants it, but

rather being able to join her where she's at. Seeing how she is right.

> When People disagree with what I believe, I am not insulted! I am

> happy

> to hear something better, even if I can't quite grasp it at the

> time. Either I agree with them or I don't. I don't feel that I need

> Carol to agree with me. I tell her my ideas so that I can hear them

> and learn them myself. I am sure I can do more inquiry here, maybe a

> whole judge your neighbor thing. Then I can be more clear. I would

> love to say to Carol, you are right honey, thank you for showing me

> how I am competing with you,(if I could actually see it and mean

> it.)

Important point, because it is of no good to go beyond your

evolution. Can't fake it.

> I am just so grateful to for coming from a place of love

> and wisdom, and sharing her truth even if the whole world were to

> disagree. Maybe I get carried away with my enthusiam?

Well, turn the grateful-thing around.

> Love

>

Love,

>

>>

>> Dear ,

>> I can see why your friend thinks that you want to be right. You

>> have

>> just told her that you know better than her what REALLY

>> means.

>> SHE has misunderstood . And you know that because...you know

>> the " real truth " ?

>> Most of us don´t want to hear that we have misunderstood things

>> and

>> that we are wrong when we are angry or in pain. We want compassion

>> and understanding. Isn´t that what you want from her? You want her

>> to understand your way of seeing things, understand your kindness

>> and understand how great is. Well, she doesn´t. So can YOU

>> understand her, when she share with you her pain and anger?

> Without

>> blaming her or trying to correct her?

>> Since you brought this up in this group, I assume her critic

> bothers

>> you. This could be an exellent opportunity to go within and see

>> where your friend is right, and get to know yourself better. Your

>> friend is the best teacher you could get!

>>

>> Love,

>>

>>>

>>> A friend of mine, who I mostly just email with and occasionally

>>> call, wrote me a very angry letter recently. It was so hostile

>> that

>>> I only skimmed it. She thinks that I compete with her to

>>> know " truth " . That I want to be right and to prove her wrong. I

>>> don't want to be defensive, but I find it hard to see that it is

>>> true. We often write about our spiritual experiences and express

>> our

>>> opinions, and it has never been an issue before. She was

>> criticizing

>>> for blaming someone for being abused during an inquiry

>>> session. I explained how she had misunderstood what was

>> doing,

>>> and that never blames anyone. Here is an exerpt of what I

>>> wrote to CArol.

>>> " I am Sure that you misunderstood what was doing with the

>>> molestation thing. At least, everything I have heard from her is

>> the

>>> epitomy of love and compassion. But I can see how it can be

>>> misunderstood, also. She is teaching that we project our inner

>>> suffering onto the world around us, but then blame the world for

>>> what we percieve it is doing. If you can't see or accept that

>>> premise, then you will blame her, too. My experience has shown

> me

>>> that is the mechanics of the ego/mind. As I do The Work, it

>> becomes

>>> even more clear to me.

>>>

>>> It's interesting that you said that you havent suffered in a

> long

>>> time. I find that my greatest revelations and spiritual progress

>>> have only come out of suffering. Especially in this past year,

> but

>>> also when I was in Iowa and had my awakening. It is only from

> that

>>> pain that I call out to God for Help! When I am content with the

>>> status quo, I don't move very much. The way of the cross is what

>>> it's know as in Christian terms. I started to meditate to deal

>> with

>>> my deep despair, and now, to accept the unacceptable, I have

> found

>>> the work. Awakening comes when we go past our concept of self,

>>> little me, and contact the unbounded awareness. You know all

> this,

>> I

>>> realize, but we can only own this experience when it is applied

> to

>>> the challenges of daily life. I guess I have been blessed with

>>> suffering! "

>>> Carol seems to take all this as a challenge of some sort from

> me.

>> I

>>> find that by explaining what I believe, I get to hear myself and

>>> teach myself what I want to learn.

>>> Perhaps it is true that I want to be the one who is right, but I

>> see

>>> it as explaining what I believe to be true. She doesnt need to

>>> believe me or accept anything I say. It's ironic that Carol

>>> introduced me to , but now finds to be so

> unacceptable.

>>> How can I accept the criticism that is hard to find the truth

> in.

>> I

>>> can more easily see other situations when I have done that, but

>> this

>>> one isn't clear to me.

>>> Love

>>>

>>>

>>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

A friend of mine, who I mostly just email with and occasionally

call, wrote me a very angry letter recently. It was so hostile that

I only skimmed it. She thinks that I compete with her to

know " truth " . That I want to be right and to prove her wrong. I

don't want to be defensive, but I find it hard to see that it is

true. We often write about our spiritual experiences and express our

opinions, and it has never been an issue before. She was criticizing

for blaming someone for being abused during an inquiry

session. I explained how she had misunderstood what was doing,

and that never blames anyone. Here is an exerpt of what I

wrote to CArol.

" I am Sure that you misunderstood what was doing with the

molestation thing. At least, everything I have heard from her is the

epitomy of love and compassion. But I can see how it can be

misunderstood, also. She is teaching that we project our inner

suffering onto the world around us, but then blame the world for

what we percieve it is doing. If you can't see or accept that

premise, then you will blame her, too. My experience has shown me

that is the mechanics of the ego/mind. As I do The Work, it becomes

even more clear to me.

It's interesting that you said that you havent suffered in a long

time. I find that my greatest revelations and spiritual progress

have only come out of suffering. Especially in this past year, but

also when I was in Iowa and had my awakening. It is only from that

pain that I call out to God for Help! When I am content with the

status quo, I don't move very much. The way of the cross is what

it's know as in Christian terms. I started to meditate to deal with

my deep despair, and now, to accept the unacceptable, I have found

the work. Awakening comes when we go past our concept of self,

little me, and contact the unbounded awareness. You know all this, I

realize, but we can only own this experience when it is applied to

the challenges of daily life. I guess I have been blessed with

suffering! "

Carol seems to take all this as a challenge of some sort from me. I

find that by explaining what I believe, I get to hear myself and

teach myself what I want to learn.

Perhaps it is true that I want to be the one who is right, but I see

it as explaining what I believe to be true. She doesnt need to

believe me or accept anything I say. It's ironic that Carol

introduced me to , but now finds to be so unacceptable.

How can I accept the criticism that is hard to find the truth in. I

can more easily see other situations when I have done that, but this

one isn't clear to me.

Love

[Guest guest]

J

What came to me when I was skipping your mail:

Being defensive is the first act of war !

T

>

> A friend of mine, who I mostly just email with and occasionally

> call, wrote me a very angry letter recently. It was so hostile

that

> I only skimmed it. She thinks that I compete with her to

> know " truth " . That I want to be right and to prove her wrong. I

> don't want to be defensive, but I find it hard to see that it is

> true. We often write about our spiritual experiences and express

our

> opinions, and it has never been an issue before. She was

criticizing

> for blaming someone for being abused during an inquiry

> session. I explained how she had misunderstood what was

doing,

> and that never blames anyone. Here is an exerpt of what I

> wrote to CArol.

> " I am Sure that you misunderstood what was doing with the

> molestation thing. At least, everything I have heard from her is

the

> epitomy of love and compassion. But I can see how it can be

> misunderstood, also. She is teaching that we project our inner

> suffering onto the world around us, but then blame the world for

> what we percieve it is doing. If you can't see or accept that

> premise, then you will blame her, too. My experience has shown me

> that is the mechanics of the ego/mind. As I do The Work, it

becomes

> even more clear to me.

>

> It's interesting that you said that you havent suffered in a long

> time. I find that my greatest revelations and spiritual progress

> have only come out of suffering. Especially in this past year, but

> also when I was in Iowa and had my awakening. It is only from that

> pain that I call out to God for Help! When I am content with the

> status quo, I don't move very much. The way of the cross is what

> it's know as in Christian terms. I started to meditate to deal

with

> my deep despair, and now, to accept the unacceptable, I have found

> the work. Awakening comes when we go past our concept of self,

> little me, and contact the unbounded awareness. You know all this,

I

> realize, but we can only own this experience when it is applied to

> the challenges of daily life. I guess I have been blessed with

> suffering! "

> Carol seems to take all this as a challenge of some sort from me.

I

> find that by explaining what I believe, I get to hear myself and

> teach myself what I want to learn.

> Perhaps it is true that I want to be the one who is right, but I

see

> it as explaining what I believe to be true. She doesnt need to

> believe me or accept anything I say. It's ironic that Carol

> introduced me to , but now finds to be so unacceptable.

> How can I accept the criticism that is hard to find the truth in.

I

> can more easily see other situations when I have done that, but

this

> one isn't clear to me.

> Love

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

I can see why your friend thinks that you want to be right. You have

just told her that you know better than her what REALLY means.

SHE has misunderstood . And you know that because...you know

the " real truth " ?

Most of us don´t want to hear that we have misunderstood things and

that we are wrong when we are angry or in pain. We want compassion

and understanding. Isn´t that what you want from her? You want her

to understand your way of seeing things, understand your kindness

and understand how great is. Well, she doesn´t. So can YOU

understand her, when she share with you her pain and anger? Without

blaming her or trying to correct her?

Since you brought this up in this group, I assume her critic bothers

you. This could be an exellent opportunity to go within and see

where your friend is right, and get to know yourself better. Your

friend is the best teacher you could get!

Love,

>

> A friend of mine, who I mostly just email with and occasionally

> call, wrote me a very angry letter recently. It was so hostile

that

> I only skimmed it. She thinks that I compete with her to

> know " truth " . That I want to be right and to prove her wrong. I

> don't want to be defensive, but I find it hard to see that it is

> true. We often write about our spiritual experiences and express

our

> opinions, and it has never been an issue before. She was

criticizing

> for blaming someone for being abused during an inquiry

> session. I explained how she had misunderstood what was

doing,

> and that never blames anyone. Here is an exerpt of what I

> wrote to CArol.

> " I am Sure that you misunderstood what was doing with the

> molestation thing. At least, everything I have heard from her is

the

> epitomy of love and compassion. But I can see how it can be

> misunderstood, also. She is teaching that we project our inner

> suffering onto the world around us, but then blame the world for

> what we percieve it is doing. If you can't see or accept that

> premise, then you will blame her, too. My experience has shown me

> that is the mechanics of the ego/mind. As I do The Work, it

becomes

> even more clear to me.

>

> It's interesting that you said that you havent suffered in a long

> time. I find that my greatest revelations and spiritual progress

> have only come out of suffering. Especially in this past year, but

> also when I was in Iowa and had my awakening. It is only from that

> pain that I call out to God for Help! When I am content with the

> status quo, I don't move very much. The way of the cross is what

> it's know as in Christian terms. I started to meditate to deal

with

> my deep despair, and now, to accept the unacceptable, I have found

> the work. Awakening comes when we go past our concept of self,

> little me, and contact the unbounded awareness. You know all this,

I

> realize, but we can only own this experience when it is applied to

> the challenges of daily life. I guess I have been blessed with

> suffering! "

> Carol seems to take all this as a challenge of some sort from me.

I

> find that by explaining what I believe, I get to hear myself and

> teach myself what I want to learn.

> Perhaps it is true that I want to be the one who is right, but I

see

> it as explaining what I believe to be true. She doesnt need to

> believe me or accept anything I say. It's ironic that Carol

> introduced me to , but now finds to be so unacceptable.

> How can I accept the criticism that is hard to find the truth in.

I

> can more easily see other situations when I have done that, but

this

> one isn't clear to me.

> Love

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dear , Thank you for your insights. I did do some inquiry on

the thought " Carol doesnt love me " which was helpful. When I feel

attacked, I feel unloved, and I realized that it was me not loving

me! So that was very useful to realize. But I am in no way attacking

Carol, Just telling her what I believe to be true for me. When

People disagree with what I believe, I am not insulted! I am happy

to hear something better, even if I can't quite grasp it at the

time. Either I agree with them or I don't. I don't feel that I need

Carol to agree with me. I tell her my ideas so that I can hear them

and learn them myself. I am sure I can do more inquiry here, maybe a

whole judge your neighbor thing. Then I can be more clear. I would

love to say to Carol, you are right honey, thank you for showing me

how I am competing with you,(if I could actually see it and mean

it.) I am just so grateful to for coming from a place of love

and wisdom, and sharing her truth even if the whole world were to

disagree. Maybe I get carried away with my enthusiam?

Love

>

> Dear ,

> I can see why your friend thinks that you want to be right. You

have

> just told her that you know better than her what REALLY

means.

> SHE has misunderstood . And you know that because...you know

> the " real truth " ?

> Most of us don´t want to hear that we have misunderstood things

and

> that we are wrong when we are angry or in pain. We want compassion

> and understanding. Isn´t that what you want from her? You want her

> to understand your way of seeing things, understand your kindness

> and understand how great is. Well, she doesn´t. So can YOU

> understand her, when she share with you her pain and anger?

Without

> blaming her or trying to correct her?

> Since you brought this up in this group, I assume her critic

bothers

> you. This could be an exellent opportunity to go within and see

> where your friend is right, and get to know yourself better. Your

> friend is the best teacher you could get!

>

> Love,

>

> >

> > A friend of mine, who I mostly just email with and occasionally

> > call, wrote me a very angry letter recently. It was so hostile

> that

> > I only skimmed it. She thinks that I compete with her to

> > know " truth " . That I want to be right and to prove her wrong. I

> > don't want to be defensive, but I find it hard to see that it is

> > true. We often write about our spiritual experiences and express

> our

> > opinions, and it has never been an issue before. She was

> criticizing

> > for blaming someone for being abused during an inquiry

> > session. I explained how she had misunderstood what was

> doing,

> > and that never blames anyone. Here is an exerpt of what I

> > wrote to CArol.

> > " I am Sure that you misunderstood what was doing with the

> > molestation thing. At least, everything I have heard from her is

> the

> > epitomy of love and compassion. But I can see how it can be

> > misunderstood, also. She is teaching that we project our inner

> > suffering onto the world around us, but then blame the world for

> > what we percieve it is doing. If you can't see or accept that

> > premise, then you will blame her, too. My experience has shown

me

> > that is the mechanics of the ego/mind. As I do The Work, it

> becomes

> > even more clear to me.

> >

> > It's interesting that you said that you havent suffered in a

long

> > time. I find that my greatest revelations and spiritual progress

> > have only come out of suffering. Especially in this past year,

but

> > also when I was in Iowa and had my awakening. It is only from

that

> > pain that I call out to God for Help! When I am content with the

> > status quo, I don't move very much. The way of the cross is what

> > it's know as in Christian terms. I started to meditate to deal

> with

> > my deep despair, and now, to accept the unacceptable, I have

found

> > the work. Awakening comes when we go past our concept of self,

> > little me, and contact the unbounded awareness. You know all

this,

> I

> > realize, but we can only own this experience when it is applied

to

> > the challenges of daily life. I guess I have been blessed with

> > suffering! "

> > Carol seems to take all this as a challenge of some sort from

me.

> I

> > find that by explaining what I believe, I get to hear myself and

> > teach myself what I want to learn.

> > Perhaps it is true that I want to be the one who is right, but I

> see

> > it as explaining what I believe to be true. She doesnt need to

> > believe me or accept anything I say. It's ironic that Carol

> > introduced me to , but now finds to be so

unacceptable.

> > How can I accept the criticism that is hard to find the truth

in.

> I

> > can more easily see other situations when I have done that, but

> this

> > one isn't clear to me.

> > Love

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

It takes a lot of courage for you to post your question. I admire

that. I can see both of your sides. I can see you just explaining

your viewpoint and I can also see how she feels you are invalidating

her opinion. (Of course I have the advantage of being an outside

observer, which makes it *much* easier.) What might work for you in

the future, (try it and see if it does) is to use words to show more

understanding and empathy for her point of view, and to soften your

different viewpoint by adding phrases such as, " I know this is just

my opinion. I feel that . . . " " In my experience, I have

found . . . but I can see how one might come to a different

conclusion. " I will say for you, that it's quite possible that she

herself suffers from the need to right and projects that onto you,

making it all the more important to take more time to show that you

understand her point of view and that coming from her point of view

(if you truly understand it) it makes perfect sense that she would

have the opinion that she does.

Anyway, there's my two cents.

Carolyn

> > A friend of mine, who I mostly just email with and occasionally

> > call, wrote me a very angry letter recently. It was so hostile

> that

> > I only skimmed it. She thinks that I compete with her to

> > know " truth " . That I want to be right and to prove her wrong. I

> > don't want to be defensive, but I find it hard to see that it is

> > true. We often write about our spiritual experiences and express

> our

> > opinions, and it has never been an issue before. She was

> criticizing

> > for blaming someone for being abused during an inquiry

> > session. I explained how she had misunderstood what was

> doing,

> > and that never blames anyone. Here is an exerpt of what I

> > wrote to CArol.

> > " I am Sure that you misunderstood what was doing with the

> > molestation thing. At least, everything I have heard from her is

> the

> > epitomy of love and compassion. But I can see how it can be

> > misunderstood, also. She is teaching that we project our inner

> > suffering onto the world around us, but then blame the world for

> > what we percieve it is doing. If you can't see or accept that

> > premise, then you will blame her, too. My experience has shown me

> > that is the mechanics of the ego/mind. As I do The Work, it

> becomes

> > even more clear to me.

> >

> > It's interesting that you said that you havent suffered in a long

> > time. I find that my greatest revelations and spiritual progress

> > have only come out of suffering. Especially in this past year,

but

> > also when I was in Iowa and had my awakening. It is only from

that

> > pain that I call out to God for Help! When I am content with the

> > status quo, I don't move very much. The way of the cross is what

> > it's know as in Christian terms. I started to meditate to deal

> with

> > my deep despair, and now, to accept the unacceptable, I have

found

> > the work. Awakening comes when we go past our concept of self,

> > little me, and contact the unbounded awareness. You know all

this,

> I

> > realize, but we can only own this experience when it is applied

to

> > the challenges of daily life. I guess I have been blessed with

> > suffering! "

> > Carol seems to take all this as a challenge of some sort from me.

> I

> > find that by explaining what I believe, I get to hear myself and

> > teach myself what I want to learn.

> > Perhaps it is true that I want to be the one who is right, but I

> see

> > it as explaining what I believe to be true. She doesnt need to

> > believe me or accept anything I say. It's ironic that Carol

> > introduced me to , but now finds to be so

unacceptable.

> > How can I accept the criticism that is hard to find the truth in.

> I

> > can more easily see other situations when I have done that, but

> this

> > one isn't clear to me.

> > Love

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Dear Carolyn, Thank you for your suggestions and insights. In what

way did you think my question was courageous? I just see myself as

trying to separate truth from illusions

Love

>

> It takes a lot of courage for you to post your question. I admire

> that. I can see both of your sides. I can see you just explaining

> your viewpoint and I can also see how she feels you are

invalidating

> her opinion. (Of course I have the advantage of being an outside

> observer, which makes it *much* easier.) What might work for you

in

> the future, (try it and see if it does) is to use words to show

more

> understanding and empathy for her point of view, and to soften

your

> different viewpoint by adding phrases such as, " I know this is

just

> my opinion. I feel that . . . " " In my experience, I have

> found . . . but I can see how one might come to a different

> conclusion. " I will say for you, that it's quite possible that

she

> herself suffers from the need to right and projects that onto you,

> making it all the more important to take more time to show that

you

> understand her point of view and that coming from her point of view

> (if you truly understand it) it makes perfect sense that she would

> have the opinion that she does.

> Anyway, there's my two cents.

> Carolyn

>

>

> > > A friend of mine, who I mostly just email with and

occasionally

> > > call, wrote me a very angry letter recently. It was so hostile

> > that

> > > I only skimmed it. She thinks that I compete with her to

> > > know " truth " . That I want to be right and to prove her wrong.

I

> > > don't want to be defensive, but I find it hard to see that it

is

> > > true. We often write about our spiritual experiences and

express

> > our

> > > opinions, and it has never been an issue before. She was

> > criticizing

> > > for blaming someone for being abused during an inquiry

> > > session. I explained how she had misunderstood what was

> > doing,

> > > and that never blames anyone. Here is an exerpt of what

I

> > > wrote to CArol.

> > > " I am Sure that you misunderstood what was doing with

the

> > > molestation thing. At least, everything I have heard from her

is

> > the

> > > epitomy of love and compassion. But I can see how it can be

> > > misunderstood, also. She is teaching that we project our inner

> > > suffering onto the world around us, but then blame the world

for

> > > what we percieve it is doing. If you can't see or accept that

> > > premise, then you will blame her, too. My experience has shown

me

> > > that is the mechanics of the ego/mind. As I do The Work, it

> > becomes

> > > even more clear to me.

> > >

> > > It's interesting that you said that you havent suffered in a

long

> > > time. I find that my greatest revelations and spiritual

progress

> > > have only come out of suffering. Especially in this past year,

> but

> > > also when I was in Iowa and had my awakening. It is only from

> that

> > > pain that I call out to God for Help! When I am content with

the

> > > status quo, I don't move very much. The way of the cross is

what

> > > it's know as in Christian terms. I started to meditate to deal

> > with

> > > my deep despair, and now, to accept the unacceptable, I have

> found

> > > the work. Awakening comes when we go past our concept of self,

> > > little me, and contact the unbounded awareness. You know all

> this,

> > I

> > > realize, but we can only own this experience when it is

applied

> to

> > > the challenges of daily life. I guess I have been blessed with

> > > suffering! "

> > > Carol seems to take all this as a challenge of some sort from

me.

> > I

> > > find that by explaining what I believe, I get to hear myself

and

> > > teach myself what I want to learn.

> > > Perhaps it is true that I want to be the one who is right, but

I

> > see

> > > it as explaining what I believe to be true. She doesnt need to

> > > believe me or accept anything I say. It's ironic that Carol

> > > introduced me to , but now finds to be so

> unacceptable.

> > > How can I accept the criticism that is hard to find the truth

in.

> > I

> > > can more easily see other situations when I have done that,

but

> > this

> > > one isn't clear to me.

> > > Love

> > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Dear Tami, Another one that I like is " Your work isnt done until

they attack you, and you notice that you love them with all your

heart! "

Love

>

> J

>

> What came to me when I was skipping your mail:

>

> Being defensive is the first act of war !

>

> T

>

>

> >

> > A friend of mine, who I mostly just email with and occasionally

> > call, wrote me a very angry letter recently. It was so hostile

> that

> > I only skimmed it. She thinks that I compete with her to

> > know " truth " . That I want to be right and to prove her wrong. I

> > don't want to be defensive, but I find it hard to see that it is

> > true. We often write about our spiritual experiences and express

> our

> > opinions, and it has never been an issue before. She was

> criticizing

> > for blaming someone for being abused during an inquiry

> > session. I explained how she had misunderstood what was

> doing,

> > and that never blames anyone. Here is an exerpt of what I

> > wrote to CArol.

> > " I am Sure that you misunderstood what was doing with the

> > molestation thing. At least, everything I have heard from her is

> the

> > epitomy of love and compassion. But I can see how it can be

> > misunderstood, also. She is teaching that we project our inner

> > suffering onto the world around us, but then blame the world for

> > what we percieve it is doing. If you can't see or accept that

> > premise, then you will blame her, too. My experience has shown

me

> > that is the mechanics of the ego/mind. As I do The Work, it

> becomes

> > even more clear to me.

> >

> > It's interesting that you said that you havent suffered in a

long

> > time. I find that my greatest revelations and spiritual progress

> > have only come out of suffering. Especially in this past year,

but

> > also when I was in Iowa and had my awakening. It is only from

that

> > pain that I call out to God for Help! When I am content with the

> > status quo, I don't move very much. The way of the cross is what

> > it's know as in Christian terms. I started to meditate to deal

> with

> > my deep despair, and now, to accept the unacceptable, I have

found

> > the work. Awakening comes when we go past our concept of self,

> > little me, and contact the unbounded awareness. You know all

this,

> I

> > realize, but we can only own this experience when it is applied

to

> > the challenges of daily life. I guess I have been blessed with

> > suffering! "

> > Carol seems to take all this as a challenge of some sort from

me.

> I

> > find that by explaining what I believe, I get to hear myself and

> > teach myself what I want to learn.

> > Perhaps it is true that I want to be the one who is right, but I

> see

> > it as explaining what I believe to be true. She doesnt need to

> > believe me or accept anything I say. It's ironic that Carol

> > introduced me to , but now finds to be so

unacceptable.

> > How can I accept the criticism that is hard to find the truth

in.

> I

> > can more easily see other situations when I have done that, but

> this

> > one isn't clear to me.

> > Love

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks , I did find one way I wanted to be right. I want to

be right about Carol not being right about me! Isnt that funny? I

think I understand why she feels so threatened, it's the same reason

the whole world feels threatened. They want to blame and contol. But

I can't say that, because then it would just be me making

her " wrong " again.

Love

> >>

> >> Dear ,

> >> I can see why your friend thinks that you want to be right. You

> >> have

> >> just told her that you know better than her what REALLY

> >> means.

> >> SHE has misunderstood . And you know that because...you

know

> >> the " real truth " ?

> >> Most of us don´t want to hear that we have misunderstood things

> >> and

> >> that we are wrong when we are angry or in pain. We want

compassion

> >> and understanding. Isn´t that what you want from her? You want

her

> >> to understand your way of seeing things, understand your

kindness

> >> and understand how great is. Well, she doesn´t. So can YOU

> >> understand her, when she share with you her pain and anger?

> > Without

> >> blaming her or trying to correct her?

> >> Since you brought this up in this group, I assume her critic

> > bothers

> >> you. This could be an exellent opportunity to go within and see

> >> where your friend is right, and get to know yourself better.

Your

> >> friend is the best teacher you could get!

> >>

> >> Love,

> >>

> >>>

> >>> A friend of mine, who I mostly just email with and occasionally

> >>> call, wrote me a very angry letter recently. It was so hostile

> >> that

> >>> I only skimmed it. She thinks that I compete with her to

> >>> know " truth " . That I want to be right and to prove her wrong. I

> >>> don't want to be defensive, but I find it hard to see that it

is

> >>> true. We often write about our spiritual experiences and

express

> >> our

> >>> opinions, and it has never been an issue before. She was

> >> criticizing

> >>> for blaming someone for being abused during an inquiry

> >>> session. I explained how she had misunderstood what was

> >> doing,

> >>> and that never blames anyone. Here is an exerpt of what I

> >>> wrote to CArol.

> >>> " I am Sure that you misunderstood what was doing with the

> >>> molestation thing. At least, everything I have heard from her

is

> >> the

> >>> epitomy of love and compassion. But I can see how it can be

> >>> misunderstood, also. She is teaching that we project our inner

> >>> suffering onto the world around us, but then blame the world

for

> >>> what we percieve it is doing. If you can't see or accept that

> >>> premise, then you will blame her, too. My experience has shown

> > me

> >>> that is the mechanics of the ego/mind. As I do The Work, it

> >> becomes

> >>> even more clear to me.

> >>>

> >>> It's interesting that you said that you havent suffered in a

> > long

> >>> time. I find that my greatest revelations and spiritual

progress

> >>> have only come out of suffering. Especially in this past year,

> > but

> >>> also when I was in Iowa and had my awakening. It is only from

> > that

> >>> pain that I call out to God for Help! When I am content with

the

> >>> status quo, I don't move very much. The way of the cross is

what

> >>> it's know as in Christian terms. I started to meditate to deal

> >> with

> >>> my deep despair, and now, to accept the unacceptable, I have

> > found

> >>> the work. Awakening comes when we go past our concept of self,

> >>> little me, and contact the unbounded awareness. You know all

> > this,

> >> I

> >>> realize, but we can only own this experience when it is applied

> > to

> >>> the challenges of daily life. I guess I have been blessed with

> >>> suffering! "

> >>> Carol seems to take all this as a challenge of some sort from

> > me.

> >> I

> >>> find that by explaining what I believe, I get to hear myself

and

> >>> teach myself what I want to learn.

> >>> Perhaps it is true that I want to be the one who is right, but

I

> >> see

> >>> it as explaining what I believe to be true. She doesnt need to

> >>> believe me or accept anything I say. It's ironic that Carol

> >>> introduced me to , but now finds to be so

> > unacceptable.

> >>> How can I accept the criticism that is hard to find the truth

> > in.

> >> I

> >>> can more easily see other situations when I have done that, but

> >> this

> >>> one isn't clear to me.

> >>> Love

> >>>

> >>>

> >>

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Good find, !

Giving up is a peaceful position.

Love,

--- schrieb:

> Thanks , I did find one way I wanted to be

> right. I want to

> be right about Carol not being right about me! Isnt

> that funny? I

> think I understand why she feels so threatened, it's

> the same reason

> the whole world feels threatened. They want to blame

> and contol. But

> I can't say that, because then it would just be me

> making

> her " wrong " again.

> Love

>

>

> > >>

> > >> Dear ,

> > >> I can see why your friend thinks that you want

> to be right. You

> > >> have

> > >> just told her that you know better than her

> what REALLY

> > >> means.

> > >> SHE has misunderstood . And you know that

> because...you

> know

> > >> the " real truth " ?

> > >> Most of us don´t want to hear that we have

> misunderstood things

> > >> and

> > >> that we are wrong when we are angry or in pain.

> We want

> compassion

> > >> and understanding. Isn´t that what you want

> from her? You want

> her

> > >> to understand your way of seeing things,

> understand your

> kindness

> > >> and understand how great is. Well, she

> doesn´t. So can YOU

> > >> understand her, when she share with you her

> pain and anger?

> > > Without

> > >> blaming her or trying to correct her?

> > >> Since you brought this up in this group, I

> assume her critic

> > > bothers

> > >> you. This could be an exellent opportunity to

> go within and see

> > >> where your friend is right, and get to know

> yourself better.

> Your

> > >> friend is the best teacher you could get!

> > >>

> > >> Love,

> > >>

> > >>>

> > >>> A friend of mine, who I mostly just email with

> and occasionally

> > >>> call, wrote me a very angry letter recently.

> It was so hostile

> > >> that

> > >>> I only skimmed it. She thinks that I compete

> with her to

> > >>> know " truth " . That I want to be right and to

> prove her wrong. I

> > >>> don't want to be defensive, but I find it hard

> to see that it

> is

> > >>> true. We often write about our spiritual

> experiences and

> express

> > >> our

> > >>> opinions, and it has never been an issue

> before. She was

> > >> criticizing

> > >>> for blaming someone for being abused

> during an inquiry

> > >>> session. I explained how she had misunderstood

> what was

> > >> doing,

> > >>> and that never blames anyone. Here is an

> exerpt of what I

> > >>> wrote to CArol.

> > >>> " I am Sure that you misunderstood what

> was doing with the

> > >>> molestation thing. At least, everything I have

> heard from her

> is

> > >> the

> > >>> epitomy of love and compassion. But I can see

> how it can be

> > >>> misunderstood, also. She is teaching that we

> project our inner

> > >>> suffering onto the world around us, but then

> blame the world

> for

> > >>> what we percieve it is doing. If you can't see

> or accept that

> > >>> premise, then you will blame her, too. My

> experience has shown

> > > me

> > >>> that is the mechanics of the ego/mind. As I do

> The Work, it

> > >> becomes

> > >>> even more clear to me.

> > >>>

> > >>> It's interesting that you said that you havent

> suffered in a

> > > long

> > >>> time. I find that my greatest revelations and

> spiritual

> progress

> > >>> have only come out of suffering. Especially in

> this past year,

> > > but

> > >>> also when I was in Iowa and had my awakening.

> It is only from

> > > that

> > >>> pain that I call out to God for Help! When I

> am content with

> the

> > >>> status quo, I don't move very much. The way of

> the cross is

> what

> > >>> it's know as in Christian terms. I started to

> meditate to deal

> > >> with

> > >>> my deep despair, and now, to accept the

> unacceptable, I have

> > > found

> > >>> the work. Awakening comes when we go past our

> concept of self,

> > >>> little me, and contact the unbounded

> awareness. You know all

> > > this,

> > >> I

> > >>> realize, but we can only own this experience

> when it is applied

> > > to

> > >>> the challenges of daily life. I guess I have

> been blessed with

> > >>> suffering! "

> > >>> Carol seems to take all this as a challenge of

> some sort from

> > > me.

> > >> I

> > >>> find that by explaining what I believe, I get

> to hear myself

> and

> > >>> teach myself what I want to learn.

> > >>> Perhaps it is true that I want to be the one

> who is right, but

> I

> > >> see

> > >>> it as explaining what I believe to be true.

> She doesnt need to

> > >>> believe me or accept anything I say. It's

> ironic that Carol

> > >>> introduced me to , but now finds to

> be so

> > > unacceptable.

> > >>> How can I accept the criticism that is hard to

> find the truth

> > > in.

> > >> I

> > >>> can more easily see other situations when I

> have done that, but

> > >> this

> > >>> one isn't clear to me.

> > >>> Love

> > >>>

> > >>>

> > >>

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

> > >>

> > >> Dear ,

> > >> I can see why your friend thinks that you want to be right.

You

> > >> have

> > >> just told her that you know better than her what REALLY

> > >> means.

> > >> SHE has misunderstood . And you know that because...you

> know

> > >> the " real truth " ?

> > >> Most of us don´t want to hear that we have misunderstood

things

> > >> and

> > >> that we are wrong when we are angry or in pain. We want

> compassion

> > >> and understanding. Isn´t that what you want from her? You

want

> her

> > >> to understand your way of seeing things, understand your

> kindness

> > >> and understand how great is. Well, she doesn´t. So can

YOU

> > >> understand her, when she share with you her pain and anger?

> > > Without

> > >> blaming her or trying to correct her?

> > >> Since you brought this up in this group, I assume her critic

> > > bothers

> > >> you. This could be an exellent opportunity to go within and

see

> > >> where your friend is right, and get to know yourself better.

> Your

> > >> friend is the best teacher you could get!

> > >>

> > >> Love,

> > >>

> > >>>

> > >>> A friend of mine, who I mostly just email with and

occasionally

> > >>> call, wrote me a very angry letter recently. It was so

hostile

> > >> that

> > >>> I only skimmed it. She thinks that I compete with her to

> > >>> know " truth " . That I want to be right and to prove her

wrong. I

> > >>> don't want to be defensive, but I find it hard to see that

it

> is

> > >>> true. We often write about our spiritual experiences and

> express

> > >> our

> > >>> opinions, and it has never been an issue before. She was

> > >> criticizing

> > >>> for blaming someone for being abused during an inquiry

> > >>> session. I explained how she had misunderstood what was

> > >> doing,

> > >>> and that never blames anyone. Here is an exerpt of

what I

> > >>> wrote to CArol.

> > >>> " I am Sure that you misunderstood what was doing with

the

> > >>> molestation thing. At least, everything I have heard from

her

> is

> > >> the

> > >>> epitomy of love and compassion. But I can see how it can be

> > >>> misunderstood, also. She is teaching that we project our

inner

> > >>> suffering onto the world around us, but then blame the world

> for

> > >>> what we percieve it is doing. If you can't see or accept that

> > >>> premise, then you will blame her, too. My experience has

shown

> > > me

> > >>> that is the mechanics of the ego/mind. As I do The Work, it

> > >> becomes

> > >>> even more clear to me.

> > >>>

> > >>> It's interesting that you said that you havent suffered in a

> > > long

> > >>> time. I find that my greatest revelations and spiritual

> progress

> > >>> have only come out of suffering. Especially in this past

year,

> > > but

> > >>> also when I was in Iowa and had my awakening. It is only from

> > > that

> > >>> pain that I call out to God for Help! When I am content with

> the

> > >>> status quo, I don't move very much. The way of the cross is

> what

> > >>> it's know as in Christian terms. I started to meditate to

deal

> > >> with

> > >>> my deep despair, and now, to accept the unacceptable, I have

> > > found

> > >>> the work. Awakening comes when we go past our concept of

self,

> > >>> little me, and contact the unbounded awareness. You know all

> > > this,

> > >> I

> > >>> realize, but we can only own this experience when it is

applied

> > > to

> > >>> the challenges of daily life. I guess I have been blessed

with

> > >>> suffering! "

> > >>> Carol seems to take all this as a challenge of some sort from

> > > me.

> > >> I

> > >>> find that by explaining what I believe, I get to hear myself

> and

> > >>> teach myself what I want to learn.

> > >>> Perhaps it is true that I want to be the one who is right,

but

> I

> > >> see

> > >>> it as explaining what I believe to be true. She doesnt need

to

> > >>> believe me or accept anything I say. It's ironic that Carol

> > >>> introduced me to , but now finds to be so

> > > unacceptable.

> > >>> How can I accept the criticism that is hard to find the truth

> > > in.

> > >> I

> > >>> can more easily see other situations when I have done that,

but

> > >> this

> > >>> one isn't clear to me.

> > >>> Love

> > >>>

> > >>>

> > >>

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >