Guest guest Posted October 10, 2006 Report Share Posted October 10, 2006 I pray for grace and mercy for her. I also pray for God's understanding and grace on me as I try to be the person He calls me to be and love her from a distance and try to forgive her but stay out of her path of destruction at the same time. God is saddened that we suffer abuse from our parents and wants to comfort us. I hope that anyone who has lost their faith as a result can find it again. It is my faith that keeps me hanging on in coping with a BPD parent. Steed Thank you for posting these thoughts; it gives me great comfort. Blessings, mg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2006 Report Share Posted October 10, 2006 Very wise words -- I'm sure God doesn't want to see us get consumed by the voracious appetite of the BPDs ego. To teach a human being, that God created, that they are here to serve the BPDs needs is wrong. God meant for each of us to have our own lives. Remember the old saying " Parents give their children 2 important things: One is roots, the other, wings. " > > > > I pray for grace and mercy for her. I also pray for God's understanding and grace on me as I try to be the person He calls me to be and love her from a distance and try to forgive her but stay out of her path of destruction at the same time. God is saddened that we suffer abuse from our parents > and wants to comfort us. I hope that anyone who has lost their faith as a result can find it again. It is my faith that keeps me hanging on in coping with a BPD parent. Steed > > Thank you for posting these thoughts; it gives me great comfort. Blessings, mg > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2006 Report Share Posted October 10, 2006 My Fada is a walking contradiction when it comes to Church. I didn't understand why a man who cheated on his wife, deceived his family, and broke every other commandment, held church attendance as such a high priority in his life. I now think it's got to do with the ritual & control. He is really big into being in charge of these types of rituals: he's in charge of blessing the Christmas tree, he makes Easter dinner. All of my religious experiences in life revolved around Fada. More recently he orchestrated my nephew's first communion, even thou my nephew hadn't been to catechism. He never absolutely insisted my mom go to church, and to this day, he goes every week, often alone. I was sent to catholic grade-school, but I never quite bought it. I was always making up rational/scientific explanations for all the miracles they'd teach us about. (I eventually realized that not believing in the divinity of Jesus meant I wasn't a Christian, but this was not something I ever discussed with my Fada.) My Fada insisted I attend church regularly as much as he could, and would rage at me if he found out I didn't. When I was away at college he would quiz me on the sermon, so I would make a point of checking the readings on-line when I didn't go to church, so I could answer his quiz. My lies to him over the years, pretending I still went to church in order to avoid his rage (it was too hard to talk to have a rational conversation with him about religion or faith), I think only made it harder on him when I didn't get married in a church, and I actually felt bad about that a little. Even if I was still talking to him, I don't think I'd ever have the guts to tell him I don't believe in god. It's too important to him, and he'd take it as a personal insult instead of my own choice. > > in case this helps anyone - re: recent references to church and BPD. > 1) - BPD is one of the MAIN killers in a church or temple setting - > unlike a workplace, people can't get fired; unlike a bar, they can't > get bounced. BPDs can wreck a parish, if the leaders aren't really > savvy. > 2) the " honor father and mother " thing? If you study the original > Hebrew setting, there's lots to say, but for those of us survivors of > physical/emotional/sexual abuse, it means one thing and one thing > only - honor the healthy parent we sought and hoped for and had to > recreate inside ourselves - and to play along with nada and fada > pathology is NOT honoring them. To honor nada and fada means not to > play along with their WORST. > If anybody has questions on this shit, shoot 'em my way (I'm a pastor > at a leading church in a mainline denomination and have zero patience > for abuse of Scripture along these lines.) > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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