Re: problems finding a therapist

[Guest guest]

Try this website. It lists therapists state by state who deal with BP's and

their families.

_http://www.bpdcentral.com/resources/therapist/main.php_

(http://www.bpdcentral.com/resources/therapist/main.php)

Best of luck. Hope this is of help to you.

************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com

[Guest guest]

These two therapists you described sound like they're REALLY not

working for you.

A therapist should never fall asleep on you in therapy!

Maybe one issue with your new therapist is the type of therapy you are

doing. Maybe you could ask her why kind of therapy she practices

because you are interested in one where you can indefinitely talk

about the past and what is important to you.

Therapy has been VERY very helpful for me. It has really reduced my

anxiety and taught me that people can treat me with dignity and

respect (no, my therapist never fell asleep on me).

I was in psychodynamic psychotherapy, which is a type of therapy where

you discuss the past and how it impacted you. You also explore how

your current relationships (even your relationship with your

therapist) reflects these early relationships.

It's been awesome and essentially taught me social skills (or the

broken little girl inside of me social skills). After a year of

therapy, my relationships with other people are vastly improved. I'm

so much more relaxed. I always thought I just had an " uptight "

personality, but now I've come to find that's not true at all. It was

really all these subconscious, suppressed memories.

This type of therapy doesn't work for everyone, but maybe if you

really want to get more the " feelings " of the past out, it might be

for you. The idea is that you get all the feelings out and the

therapist is willing to sit and take on all the stress, etc. you

experienced.... it's a little bit like this anyways, which is why it

sounded like you might enjoy a more psychoanalytic approach vs. a more

practical/cbt approach like " just don't focus on the past "

Maybe you could check on-line and get some referrals from a friend,

healthcare professional, or online groups.

G.

>

> Just curious if anyone else has had problems finding a good

> therapist?

>

> I first decided to go to a therapist last year around this time,

> i went to her for almost 4 months. But she always fell asleep during

> therapy, which really upset me becuase I was at such a bad point in

> my life and the person I was asking to help me was so bored that she

> couldn't even stay awake! she apologized but kept doing it and since

> I was paying her so much I decided to stop going.

>

> Recently I got up my nerve to try another one and this girl is so

> over enthused. She doesn't want to talk about my nada, she just

> wants to focus on me. But I keep trying to tell her I need to get

> all this about my nada out! anyways she is just out of school so

> maybe this is the some kind of new therapy or something, but once

> again I don't feel as though I am being helped and I am paying so

> much money! this is all so frustrating! She says I am putting too

> much emphasis on the past... but that's the whole reason why I am

> going to her!

>

> I just want to find someone to help me talk about my nada so I can

> get it all out of my system...

>

> have any of you had any luck in therapy?

>

[Guest guest]

Hi, these two therapists do not sound at all like they're what you

need. I went to see some trainee therapists when I was in grad

school, who were ok - they did provide me with some support - but

really just not skilled enough to deal with my problems or even

recognize that there was something wrong with my mother - or at that

stage, with me! They were very much like the second type of

therapist you describe - not too interested in the past, the " let's

discuss your career plans " sort of therapist. After that there were

a few years when I saw no one at all.

Then I had a really tough time - a terrible work situation, which

got so bad that I was having panic attacks and was pretty

depressed. I finally did go to a therapist recommended by my work's

health service and she is absolutely brilliant. She is actually a

psychologist who trained as a Jungian psychoanalyst, and working

with her has completely changed my life. Believe me, someone with

training like this believes very passionately in the impact of our

childhood on our development and can finally help us come to terms

with it. If there are people like this in your area I would

seriously recommend giving them a try - it is worth every penny.

Of course, in any case you should be able to speak candidly with the

next potential therapist about why you were not happy with the last

ones and what you are looking for out of therapy. If he or she

cannot relate to you on those points then you are probably in the

wrong office. But don't give up - find the right person and your

quality of life can drastically improve.

cheers,

Sara

>

> Just curious if anyone else has had problems finding a good

> therapist?

>

> I first decided to go to a therapist last year around this

time,

> i went to her for almost 4 months. But she always fell asleep

during

> therapy, which really upset me becuase I was at such a bad point

in

> my life and the person I was asking to help me was so bored that

she

> couldn't even stay awake! she apologized but kept doing it and

since

> I was paying her so much I decided to stop going.

>

> Recently I got up my nerve to try another one and this girl is

so

> over enthused. She doesn't want to talk about my nada, she just

> wants to focus on me. But I keep trying to tell her I need to get

> all this about my nada out! anyways she is just out of school so

> maybe this is the some kind of new therapy or something, but once

> again I don't feel as though I am being helped and I am paying so

> much money! this is all so frustrating! She says I am putting too

> much emphasis on the past... but that's the whole reason why I am

> going to her!

>

> I just want to find someone to help me talk about my nada so I can

> get it all out of my system...

>

> have any of you had any luck in therapy?

>

[Guest guest]

What?! Falling asleep? Oh my. You deserve better!

Actually, after I had a miscarriage last year, I asked my doctor for a

referral to a therapist. Fortunately, she is wonderful and has experience with

miscarriage, infant loss (another issue I have faced), and borderline

personality disorder. She has been very helpful in issues with my mom. I just

go as often as I feel I need it. Just keep searching!

B

blssmrs wrote:

Just curious if anyone else has had problems finding a good

therapist?

I first decided to go to a therapist last year around this time,

i went to her for almost 4 months. But she always fell asleep during

therapy, which really upset me becuase I was at such a bad point in

my life and the person I was asking to help me was so bored that she

couldn't even stay awake! she apologized but kept doing it and since

I was paying her so much I decided to stop going.

Recently I got up my nerve to try another one and this girl is so

over enthused. She doesn't want to talk about my nada, she just

wants to focus on me. But I keep trying to tell her I need to get

all this about my nada out! anyways she is just out of school so

maybe this is the some kind of new therapy or something, but once

again I don't feel as though I am being helped and I am paying so

much money! this is all so frustrating! She says I am putting too

much emphasis on the past... but that's the whole reason why I am

going to her!

I just want to find someone to help me talk about my nada so I can

get it all out of my system...

have any of you had any luck in therapy?

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

are these psychologists?!?!

I am partial to them, not social workers and i did call about 6 or 7

before i chose one. I asked if they specialized in anxiety and

depression and if they were familiar with borderlines. I also

remember not talking to 2 of them for opposite reasons. When i called

to leave a message on one the doctor sounded comatosed, the other was

wayyyyy to perky for me. I cut out the extremes...

sometimes it just takes awhile to find a good fit, but i wouldnt

waste more time with the one you have now.

>

> Just curious if anyone else has had problems finding a good

> therapist?

>

> I first decided to go to a therapist last year around this time,

> i went to her for almost 4 months. But she always fell asleep

during

> therapy, which really upset me becuase I was at such a bad point in

> my life and the person I was asking to help me was so bored that

she

> couldn't even stay awake! she apologized but kept doing it and

since

> I was paying her so much I decided to stop going.

>

> Recently I got up my nerve to try another one and this girl is

so

> over enthused. She doesn't want to talk about my nada, she just

> wants to focus on me. But I keep trying to tell her I need to get

> all this about my nada out! anyways she is just out of school so

> maybe this is the some kind of new therapy or something, but once

> again I don't feel as though I am being helped and I am paying so

> much money! this is all so frustrating! She says I am putting too

> much emphasis on the past... but that's the whole reason why I am

> going to her!

>

> I just want to find someone to help me talk about my nada so I can

> get it all out of my system...

>

> have any of you had any luck in therapy?

>

[Guest guest]

I think you are right there is psychodynamic which may also be called

cognitive therapy (whick also works for me) and then there is

behavioral therapy. it sounds like she is in the latter and i didnt

like that either.

> >

> > Just curious if anyone else has had problems finding a good

> > therapist?

> >

> > I first decided to go to a therapist last year around this

time,

> > i went to her for almost 4 months. But she always fell asleep

during

> > therapy, which really upset me becuase I was at such a bad point

in

> > my life and the person I was asking to help me was so bored that

she

> > couldn't even stay awake! she apologized but kept doing it and

since

> > I was paying her so much I decided to stop going.

> >

> > Recently I got up my nerve to try another one and this girl is

so

> > over enthused. She doesn't want to talk about my nada, she just

> > wants to focus on me. But I keep trying to tell her I need to get

> > all this about my nada out! anyways she is just out of school so

> > maybe this is the some kind of new therapy or something, but once

> > again I don't feel as though I am being helped and I am paying so

> > much money! this is all so frustrating! She says I am putting too

> > much emphasis on the past... but that's the whole reason why I am

> > going to her!

> >

> > I just want to find someone to help me talk about my nada so I

can

> > get it all out of my system...

> >

> > have any of you had any luck in therapy?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

blssmrs,

Those two wackos are unconscionably incompetant.

They should give you a refund. You did nothing

wrong. There are a few good therapists. Don't

wait until the next session if one does anything

like those two did. Fire them immediately. You

deserve better.

One Non-BP Recovering Man

--- genevieveheller

wrote:

> These two therapists you described sound like

> they're REALLY not

> working for you.

>

> A therapist should never fall asleep on you in

> therapy!

>

> Maybe one issue with your new therapist is the

> type of therapy you are

> doing. Maybe you could ask her why kind of

> therapy she practices

> because you are interested in one where you can

> indefinitely talk

> about the past and what is important to you.

>

> Therapy has been VERY very helpful for me. It

> has really reduced my

> anxiety and taught me that people can treat me

> with dignity and

> respect (no, my therapist never fell asleep on

> me).

>

> I was in psychodynamic psychotherapy, which is

> a type of therapy where

> you discuss the past and how it impacted you.

> You also explore how

> your current relationships (even your

> relationship with your

> therapist) reflects these early relationships.

>

>

> It's been awesome and essentially taught me

> social skills (or the

> broken little girl inside of me social skills).

> After a year of

> therapy, my relationships with other people are

> vastly improved. I'm

> so much more relaxed. I always thought I just

> had an " uptight "

> personality, but now I've come to find that's

> not true at all. It was

> really all these subconscious, suppressed

> memories.

>

> This type of therapy doesn't work for everyone,

> but maybe if you

> really want to get more the " feelings " of the

> past out, it might be

> for you. The idea is that you get all the

> feelings out and the

> therapist is willing to sit and take on all the

> stress, etc. you

> experienced.... it's a little bit like this

> anyways, which is why it

> sounded like you might enjoy a more

> psychoanalytic approach vs. a more

> practical/cbt approach like " just don't focus

> on the past "

>

> Maybe you could check on-line and get some

> referrals from a friend,

> healthcare professional, or online groups.

>

> G.

>

>

> >

> > Just curious if anyone else has had problems

> finding a good

> > therapist?

> >

> > I first decided to go to a therapist last

> year around this time,

> > i went to her for almost 4 months. But she

> always fell asleep during

> > therapy, which really upset me becuase I was

> at such a bad point in

> > my life and the person I was asking to help

> me was so bored that she

> > couldn't even stay awake! she apologized but

> kept doing it and since

> > I was paying her so much I decided to stop

> going.

> >

> > Recently I got up my nerve to try another

> one and this girl is so

> > over enthused. She doesn't want to talk about

> my nada, she just

> > wants to focus on me. But I keep trying to

> tell her I need to get

> > all this about my nada out! anyways she is

> just out of school so

> > maybe this is the some kind of new therapy or

> something, but once

> > again I don't feel as though I am being

> helped and I am paying so

> > much money! this is all so frustrating! She

> says I am putting too

> > much emphasis on the past... but that's the

> whole reason why I am

> > going to her!

> >

> > I just want to find someone to help me talk

> about my nada so I can

> > get it all out of my system...

> >

> > have any of you had any luck in therapy?

> >

>

>

>

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[Guest guest]

Yes. I have been in therapy for years. And although I have had

success with the therapy, it has been more because of my direction

than that of the therapist. I guess for my first therapist, she was

probably a good match for the first 3 - 5 years. But I was with her

for 10 years! (yes, that's right - 10 YEARS), and for this second

half, I was researching and bringing things up to her. Where she

did help me was in clarifying or helping with additional skills I

could try as I was learning new techniques.

I have recenly been in therapy since June. My next apt is Monday,

and I am going to make it my last. I have enjoyed being with this

therapist, but I feel like we are talking more like girlfriends

instead of therapist and patient. she has definitely given me some

tools to use (none of which I have actually used, however!). I am

actually frustrated because I feel that I have trauma issues, and

this therapist doesn't agree with me. I had to be in therapy

because I was on short term disability from work. Since I am back

at work full time, I can just stop the therapy if I want.

Its discouraging, I think, to see how many therapist out there

really don't get what it is like to be a KO. But looking at my

experiences positively, I will say that I did find benefits from all

therapy - (just not all that I would have liked.)

Sylvia

>

> Just curious if anyone else has had problems finding a good

> therapist?

>

> I first decided to go to a therapist last year around this

time,

> i went to her for almost 4 months. But she always fell asleep

during

> therapy, which really upset me becuase I was at such a bad point

in

> my life and the person I was asking to help me was so bored that

she

> couldn't even stay awake! she apologized but kept doing it and

since

> I was paying her so much I decided to stop going.

>

> Recently I got up my nerve to try another one and this girl is

so

> over enthused. She doesn't want to talk about my nada, she just

> wants to focus on me. But I keep trying to tell her I need to get

> all this about my nada out! anyways she is just out of school so

> maybe this is the some kind of new therapy or something, but once

> again I don't feel as though I am being helped and I am paying so

> much money! this is all so frustrating! She says I am putting too

> much emphasis on the past... but that's the whole reason why I am

> going to her!

>

> I just want to find someone to help me talk about my nada so I can

> get it all out of my system...

>

> have any of you had any luck in therapy?

>