Re: First email from nada in 10 months

October 6, 2006

My 2 cent's worth? Ignore it. Period. It's a trap. Why invite

that into your life again? She's not the official representative of

the rest of your family. If any or all of them want a relationship

with you, it's up to them.

Ignore it. It's just a Trojan Horse.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

-Kyla

>

> Hi All, I woke up this morning to check my emails and come on here

> and I got an email from nada. I have changed my accounts and my

> phone numbers and where I have lived and we have tried being

> unlisted and going n/c with everybody in my whole life and living

in

> a shell it doesn't work. I feel controlled and she gets worse, I

> think being anonyms works great for some people but my nada turns

> into like a crazy caged mad man and she will try anything to hunt

me

> down and destroy me those are her words. So I just live my life as

> normal as I can but really what is normal? Well anyways like I

said

> I am not hiding and my nada just wrote me an email today, I have

to

> give her credit it was much less crazy than the rest, could she be

> slowing down?….NAH! Maybe this is just another calm before the

> storm. She had the same old lines " This is my last time,

> unconditional love " " I am sick you would care anyways " " Granny is

> hurt, your sister thinks she doesn't have a sister " " Your dad

can't

> take it anymore…your dad… " and btw my dad and I have been talking

> aside from this month we have been talking just fine! But she did

> throw in a new one and that surprised me " if you could forgive I

> would start over today " Anyways would you all read it and let me

> know what you think. I am tempted to ask my dad personally if this

> is how he feels and try to stop the triangulation but would that

be

> stupid? Let me know your impute. And btw I talked to my sister

last

> spring when I dedicated her that song unwritten and she said to me

> she was happy to hear from me and she said she was happy I

contacted

> her when I did because it showed her I cared. One other thing that

> surprised me was they said something about life insurance on me?

> Well that is new to me what were they planning? Also I am sure her

> Kidneys almost did fail she has been struggling w/ them but by

fault

> of her own. Remember I said she has conversion reaction formerly

> known as hysteria She really thinks she is sick and suffering with

> things that she does not suffer from. Like fake fainting, fake

> seizures fake tunnel vision. On top of it she has imaginary back

> neck and shoulder pain but she really thinks she has it so she

> doctor hops and takes massive amounts of morphine and other strong

> drugs on a daily basis. The doctors were warning her years ago

when

> I was still there that this and other things could happen, like

> addictions and rebound head aches. Well sorry about this being so

> long It really rocked my world I feel like a basket of nerves.

Sorry

> if I seem really on edge I am. You will have to pardon me. Thanks

> for reading this Love Lizzy Here is the letter.

>

> Dear Lizzy, I have a Graduation picture of your sister for you and

I

> also have your life insurance policy to send to you.(If you want

it)

> Dad would like to have this stuff sent to you because the divided

> family has become too hard on him and he and I have lost hope that

> you and your husband will ever forgive and come back to be part of

> the family. It has been just too depressing for Daddy and me to

have

> to deal with any more. With both of his parents being sick and

with

> me almost dying this past summer daddy just can't handle any more

of

> this. I asked him to not tell you about me being so sick because I

> knew that it would not matter to you because he tells me what you

> say about me and you probally would not have believed him any way

if

> he would have told you. I am back on my way to getting better each

> day but once your kidneys shut down it is a long haul back. I

would

> like to ask you to find it in your heart to let everything go and

> remember you have a family that loves you very much and misses you

> very much. This will be the last time I ask you to come back to

our

> family because I just can't handle the hurt any more and It is

> something that I must just put out of my mind if it is never going

> to happen. It is really sad that so many people have been hurt

from

> this and that so many years have gone by with out any healing. I

> want you and your husband to know that there has not been a day

that

> has passed that I have not prayed for the two of you and your

> children. Dad and I have prayed each day for the restoration of

our

> family and I have watched your sister as she has become an

> independent young woman that believes she no longer has a sister.

I

> guess this has gone on for so long there is not one of us that

ever

> believes that you will ever return. I just want you to know that I

> have never quit loving you and your family and I will love you

until

> the day that I die. I have left letters for all of you just in

case

> that we never talk again. The letters will let each one of you

know

> how much I love you, and how sad that I am that we wasted all of

> those years not talking and not fixing the things that were wrong.

I

> may not be perfect, but I do love you from the depth of my soul

and

> I would do just about anything to have you back into our family. I

> really miss my daughter. I try each day to hold on to the memories

> of how you were and I know that you are not the same girl that

left

> this home that terrible night. I realize that I don't even know

you

> any more and you don't know me either. You don't know your sister

or

> your daddy any more either. Granny, who used to be one of your

> favorite people on the earth was thrown away by you and she was

> extreamly hurt and does not understand why you did it. She

struggles

> with forgiving what happened to her. The only thing that waiting

> this long to fix things has done is mess them up worse. If you

would

> like to repair all of the relationships I would love to start

right

> away on ours. My cell number is ******* Please feel free to call

and

> I would love to see you again. If you can forgive I could start

over

> today. My love for you is unconditional. I will never stop loving

> you. We all love you very much! Love, Mom

>

October 6, 2006

Kyla nt to be anoying but Do you think I should even mention this to

my dad? Thanks Lizzy

> >

> > Hi All, I woke up this morning to check my emails and come on

here

> > and I got an email from nada. I have changed my accounts and my

> > phone numbers and where I have lived and we have tried being

> > unlisted and going n/c with everybody in my whole life and

living

> in

> > a shell it doesn't work. I feel controlled and she gets worse, I

> > think being anonyms works great for some people but my nada

turns

> > into like a crazy caged mad man and she will try anything to

hunt

> me

> > down and destroy me those are her words. So I just live my life

as

> > normal as I can but really what is normal? Well anyways like I

> said

> > I am not hiding and my nada just wrote me an email today, I have

> to

> > give her credit it was much less crazy than the rest, could she

be

> > slowing down?….NAH! Maybe this is just another calm before the

> > storm. She had the same old lines " This is my last time,

> > unconditional love " " I am sick you would care anyways " " Granny

is

> > hurt, your sister thinks she doesn't have a sister " " Your dad

> can't

> > take it anymore…your dad… " and btw my dad and I have been

talking

> > aside from this month we have been talking just fine! But she

did

> > throw in a new one and that surprised me " if you could forgive I

> > would start over today " Anyways would you all read it and let

me

> > know what you think. I am tempted to ask my dad personally if

this

> > is how he feels and try to stop the triangulation but would that

> be

> > stupid? Let me know your impute. And btw I talked to my sister

> last

> > spring when I dedicated her that song unwritten and she said to

me

> > she was happy to hear from me and she said she was happy I

> contacted

> > her when I did because it showed her I cared. One other thing

that

> > surprised me was they said something about life insurance on me?

> > Well that is new to me what were they planning? Also I am sure

her

> > Kidneys almost did fail she has been struggling w/ them but by

> fault

> > of her own. Remember I said she has conversion reaction formerly

> > known as hysteria She really thinks she is sick and suffering

with

> > things that she does not suffer from. Like fake fainting, fake

> > seizures fake tunnel vision. On top of it she has imaginary back

> > neck and shoulder pain but she really thinks she has it so she

> > doctor hops and takes massive amounts of morphine and other

strong

> > drugs on a daily basis. The doctors were warning her years ago

> when

> > I was still there that this and other things could happen, like

> > addictions and rebound head aches. Well sorry about this being

so

> > long It really rocked my world I feel like a basket of nerves.

> Sorry

> > if I seem really on edge I am. You will have to pardon me.

Thanks

> > for reading this Love Lizzy Here is the letter.

> >

> > Dear Lizzy, I have a Graduation picture of your sister for you

and

> I

> > also have your life insurance policy to send to you.(If you want

> it)

> > Dad would like to have this stuff sent to you because the

divided

> > family has become too hard on him and he and I have lost hope

that

> > you and your husband will ever forgive and come back to be part

of

> > the family. It has been just too depressing for Daddy and me to

> have

> > to deal with any more. With both of his parents being sick and

> with

> > me almost dying this past summer daddy just can't handle any

more

> of

> > this. I asked him to not tell you about me being so sick because

I

> > knew that it would not matter to you because he tells me what

you

> > say about me and you probally would not have believed him any

way

> if

> > he would have told you. I am back on my way to getting better

each

> > day but once your kidneys shut down it is a long haul back. I

> would

> > like to ask you to find it in your heart to let everything go

and

> > remember you have a family that loves you very much and misses

you

> > very much. This will be the last time I ask you to come back to

> our

> > family because I just can't handle the hurt any more and It is

> > something that I must just put out of my mind if it is never

going

> > to happen. It is really sad that so many people have been hurt

> from

> > this and that so many years have gone by with out any healing. I

> > want you and your husband to know that there has not been a day

> that

> > has passed that I have not prayed for the two of you and your

> > children. Dad and I have prayed each day for the restoration of

> our

> > family and I have watched your sister as she has become an

> > independent young woman that believes she no longer has a

sister.

> I

> > guess this has gone on for so long there is not one of us that

> ever

> > believes that you will ever return. I just want you to know that

I

> > have never quit loving you and your family and I will love you

> until

> > the day that I die. I have left letters for all of you just in

> case

> > that we never talk again. The letters will let each one of you

> know

> > how much I love you, and how sad that I am that we wasted all of

> > those years not talking and not fixing the things that were

wrong.

> I

> > may not be perfect, but I do love you from the depth of my soul

> and

> > I would do just about anything to have you back into our family.

I

> > really miss my daughter. I try each day to hold on to the

memories

> > of how you were and I know that you are not the same girl that

> left

> > this home that terrible night. I realize that I don't even know

> you

> > any more and you don't know me either. You don't know your

sister

> or

> > your daddy any more either. Granny, who used to be one of your

> > favorite people on the earth was thrown away by you and she was

> > extreamly hurt and does not understand why you did it. She

> struggles

> > with forgiving what happened to her. The only thing that waiting

> > this long to fix things has done is mess them up worse. If you

> would

> > like to repair all of the relationships I would love to start

> right

> > away on ours. My cell number is ******* Please feel free to call

> and

> > I would love to see you again. If you can forgive I could start

> over

> > today. My love for you is unconditional. I will never stop

loving

> > you. We all love you very much! Love, Mom

> >

>

October 6, 2006

I couldn't agree more. It is a trap. She may really want to start things

over, but it is too late. She is still the same person. Be strong and then

delete the message.

KW

>

>Reply-To: WTOAdultChildren1

>To: WTOAdultChildren1

>Subject: Re: First email from nada in 10 months

>Date: Fri, 06 Oct 2006 14:29:43 -0000

>

>My 2 cent's worth? Ignore it. Period. It's a trap. Why invite

>that into your life again? She's not the official representative of

>the rest of your family. If any or all of them want a relationship

>with you, it's up to them.

>

>Ignore it. It's just a Trojan Horse.

>

>Good luck with whatever you decide.

>

>-Kyla

>

> >

> > Hi All, I woke up this morning to check my emails and come on here

> > and I got an email from nada. I have changed my accounts and my

> > phone numbers and where I have lived and we have tried being

> > unlisted and going n/c with everybody in my whole life and living

>in

> > a shell it doesn't work. I feel controlled and she gets worse, I

> > think being anonyms works great for some people but my nada turns

> > into like a crazy caged mad man and she will try anything to hunt

>me

> > down and destroy me those are her words. So I just live my life as

> > normal as I can but really what is normal? Well anyways like I

>said

> > I am not hiding and my nada just wrote me an email today, I have

>to

> > give her credit it was much less crazy than the rest, could she be

> > slowing down?….NAH! Maybe this is just another calm before the

> > storm. She had the same old lines " This is my last time,

> > unconditional love " " I am sick you would care anyways " " Granny is

> > hurt, your sister thinks she doesn't have a sister " " Your dad

>can't

> > take it anymore…your dad… " and btw my dad and I have been talking

> > aside from this month we have been talking just fine! But she did

> > throw in a new one and that surprised me " if you could forgive I

> > would start over today " Anyways would you all read it and let me

> > know what you think. I am tempted to ask my dad personally if this

> > is how he feels and try to stop the triangulation but would that

>be

> > stupid? Let me know your impute. And btw I talked to my sister

>last

> > spring when I dedicated her that song unwritten and she said to me

> > she was happy to hear from me and she said she was happy I

>contacted

> > her when I did because it showed her I cared. One other thing that

> > surprised me was they said something about life insurance on me?

> > Well that is new to me what were they planning? Also I am sure her

> > Kidneys almost did fail she has been struggling w/ them but by

>fault

> > of her own. Remember I said she has conversion reaction formerly

> > known as hysteria She really thinks she is sick and suffering with

> > things that she does not suffer from. Like fake fainting, fake

> > seizures fake tunnel vision. On top of it she has imaginary back

> > neck and shoulder pain but she really thinks she has it so she

> > doctor hops and takes massive amounts of morphine and other strong

> > drugs on a daily basis. The doctors were warning her years ago

>when

> > I was still there that this and other things could happen, like

> > addictions and rebound head aches. Well sorry about this being so

> > long It really rocked my world I feel like a basket of nerves.

>Sorry

> > if I seem really on edge I am. You will have to pardon me. Thanks

> > for reading this Love Lizzy Here is the letter.

> >

> > Dear Lizzy, I have a Graduation picture of your sister for you and

>I

> > also have your life insurance policy to send to you.(If you want

>it)

> > Dad would like to have this stuff sent to you because the divided

> > family has become too hard on him and he and I have lost hope that

> > you and your husband will ever forgive and come back to be part of

> > the family. It has been just too depressing for Daddy and me to

>have

> > to deal with any more. With both of his parents being sick and

>with

> > me almost dying this past summer daddy just can't handle any more

>of

> > this. I asked him to not tell you about me being so sick because I

> > knew that it would not matter to you because he tells me what you

> > say about me and you probally would not have believed him any way

>if

> > he would have told you. I am back on my way to getting better each

> > day but once your kidneys shut down it is a long haul back. I

>would

> > like to ask you to find it in your heart to let everything go and

> > remember you have a family that loves you very much and misses you

> > very much. This will be the last time I ask you to come back to

>our

> > family because I just can't handle the hurt any more and It is

> > something that I must just put out of my mind if it is never going

> > to happen. It is really sad that so many people have been hurt

>from

> > this and that so many years have gone by with out any healing. I

> > want you and your husband to know that there has not been a day

>that

> > has passed that I have not prayed for the two of you and your

> > children. Dad and I have prayed each day for the restoration of

>our

> > family and I have watched your sister as she has become an

> > independent young woman that believes she no longer has a sister.

>I

> > guess this has gone on for so long there is not one of us that

>ever

> > believes that you will ever return. I just want you to know that I

> > have never quit loving you and your family and I will love you

>until

> > the day that I die. I have left letters for all of you just in

>case

> > that we never talk again. The letters will let each one of you

>know

> > how much I love you, and how sad that I am that we wasted all of

> > those years not talking and not fixing the things that were wrong.

>I

> > may not be perfect, but I do love you from the depth of my soul

>and

> > I would do just about anything to have you back into our family. I

> > really miss my daughter. I try each day to hold on to the memories

> > of how you were and I know that you are not the same girl that

>left

> > this home that terrible night. I realize that I don't even know

>you

> > any more and you don't know me either. You don't know your sister

>or

> > your daddy any more either. Granny, who used to be one of your

> > favorite people on the earth was thrown away by you and she was

> > extreamly hurt and does not understand why you did it. She

>struggles

> > with forgiving what happened to her. The only thing that waiting

> > this long to fix things has done is mess them up worse. If you

>would

> > like to repair all of the relationships I would love to start

>right

> > away on ours. My cell number is ******* Please feel free to call

>and

> > I would love to see you again. If you can forgive I could start

>over

> > today. My love for you is unconditional. I will never stop loving

> > you. We all love you very much! Love, Mom

> >

>

>Problems? Ask our friendly List Manager for help at

>@.... SEND HER ANY POSTS THAT CONCERN YOU; DO NOT Respond ON

>THE GROUP.

>

>To order the KO bible " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " call 888-35-SHELL

>() for your copy. We also refer to “Understanding the

>Borderline Mother” (Lawson) and “Surviving the Borderline Parent,” (Roth)

>which you can find at any bookstore. Welcome to the WTO community!

>

>From Randi Kreger, Owner BPDCentral, WTO Online Community and author SWOE

>and the SWOE Workbook.

>

October 6, 2006

No !! Do not mention it to your dad. If he wants to ask you a question,

then it is up to him to ask.

KW

>

>Reply-To: WTOAdultChildren1

>To: WTOAdultChildren1

>Subject: Re: First email from nada in 10 months

>Date: Fri, 06 Oct 2006 14:45:24 -0000

>

>Kyla nt to be anoying but Do you think I should even mention this to

>my dad? Thanks Lizzy

> > >

> > > Hi All, I woke up this morning to check my emails and come on

>here

> > > and I got an email from nada. I have changed my accounts and my

> > > phone numbers and where I have lived and we have tried being

> > > unlisted and going n/c with everybody in my whole life and

>living

> > in

> > > a shell it doesn't work. I feel controlled and she gets worse, I

> > > think being anonyms works great for some people but my nada

>turns

> > > into like a crazy caged mad man and she will try anything to

>hunt

> > me

> > > down and destroy me those are her words. So I just live my life

>as

> > > normal as I can but really what is normal? Well anyways like I

> > said

> > > I am not hiding and my nada just wrote me an email today, I have

> > to

> > > give her credit it was much less crazy than the rest, could she

>be

> > > slowing down?….NAH! Maybe this is just another calm before the

> > > storm. She had the same old lines " This is my last time,

> > > unconditional love " " I am sick you would care anyways " " Granny

>is

> > > hurt, your sister thinks she doesn't have a sister " " Your dad

> > can't

> > > take it anymore…your dad… " and btw my dad and I have been

>talking

> > > aside from this month we have been talking just fine! But she

>did

> > > throw in a new one and that surprised me " if you could forgive I

> > > would start over today " Anyways would you all read it and let

>me

> > > know what you think. I am tempted to ask my dad personally if

>this

> > > is how he feels and try to stop the triangulation but would that

> > be

> > > stupid? Let me know your impute. And btw I talked to my sister

> > last

> > > spring when I dedicated her that song unwritten and she said to

>me

> > > she was happy to hear from me and she said she was happy I

> > contacted

> > > her when I did because it showed her I cared. One other thing

>that

> > > surprised me was they said something about life insurance on me?

> > > Well that is new to me what were they planning? Also I am sure

>her

> > > Kidneys almost did fail she has been struggling w/ them but by

> > fault

> > > of her own. Remember I said she has conversion reaction formerly

> > > known as hysteria She really thinks she is sick and suffering

>with

> > > things that she does not suffer from. Like fake fainting, fake

> > > seizures fake tunnel vision. On top of it she has imaginary back

> > > neck and shoulder pain but she really thinks she has it so she

> > > doctor hops and takes massive amounts of morphine and other

>strong

> > > drugs on a daily basis. The doctors were warning her years ago

> > when

> > > I was still there that this and other things could happen, like

> > > addictions and rebound head aches. Well sorry about this being

>so

> > > long It really rocked my world I feel like a basket of nerves.

> > Sorry

> > > if I seem really on edge I am. You will have to pardon me.

>Thanks

> > > for reading this Love Lizzy Here is the letter.

> > >

> > > Dear Lizzy, I have a Graduation picture of your sister for you

>and

> > I

> > > also have your life insurance policy to send to you.(If you want

> > it)

> > > Dad would like to have this stuff sent to you because the

>divided

> > > family has become too hard on him and he and I have lost hope

>that

> > > you and your husband will ever forgive and come back to be part

>of

> > > the family. It has been just too depressing for Daddy and me to

> > have

> > > to deal with any more. With both of his parents being sick and

> > with

> > > me almost dying this past summer daddy just can't handle any

>more

> > of

> > > this. I asked him to not tell you about me being so sick because

>I

> > > knew that it would not matter to you because he tells me what

>you

> > > say about me and you probally would not have believed him any

>way

> > if

> > > he would have told you. I am back on my way to getting better

>each

> > > day but once your kidneys shut down it is a long haul back. I

> > would

> > > like to ask you to find it in your heart to let everything go

>and

> > > remember you have a family that loves you very much and misses

>you

> > > very much. This will be the last time I ask you to come back to

> > our

> > > family because I just can't handle the hurt any more and It is

> > > something that I must just put out of my mind if it is never

>going

> > > to happen. It is really sad that so many people have been hurt

> > from

> > > this and that so many years have gone by with out any healing. I

> > > want you and your husband to know that there has not been a day

> > that

> > > has passed that I have not prayed for the two of you and your

> > > children. Dad and I have prayed each day for the restoration of

> > our

> > > family and I have watched your sister as she has become an

> > > independent young woman that believes she no longer has a

>sister.

> > I

> > > guess this has gone on for so long there is not one of us that

> > ever

> > > believes that you will ever return. I just want you to know that

>I

> > > have never quit loving you and your family and I will love you

> > until

> > > the day that I die. I have left letters for all of you just in

> > case

> > > that we never talk again. The letters will let each one of you

> > know

> > > how much I love you, and how sad that I am that we wasted all of

> > > those years not talking and not fixing the things that were

>wrong.

> > I

> > > may not be perfect, but I do love you from the depth of my soul

> > and

> > > I would do just about anything to have you back into our family.

>I

> > > really miss my daughter. I try each day to hold on to the

>memories

> > > of how you were and I know that you are not the same girl that

> > left

> > > this home that terrible night. I realize that I don't even know

> > you

> > > any more and you don't know me either. You don't know your

>sister

> > or

> > > your daddy any more either. Granny, who used to be one of your

> > > favorite people on the earth was thrown away by you and she was

> > > extreamly hurt and does not understand why you did it. She

> > struggles

> > > with forgiving what happened to her. The only thing that waiting

> > > this long to fix things has done is mess them up worse. If you

> > would

> > > like to repair all of the relationships I would love to start

> > right

> > > away on ours. My cell number is ******* Please feel free to call

> > and

> > > I would love to see you again. If you can forgive I could start

> > over

> > > today. My love for you is unconditional. I will never stop

>loving

> > > you. We all love you very much! Love, Mom

> > >

> >

>

>Problems? Ask our friendly List Manager for help at

>@.... SEND HER ANY POSTS THAT CONCERN YOU; DO NOT Respond ON

>THE GROUP.

>

>To order the KO bible " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " call 888-35-SHELL

>() for your copy. We also refer to “Understanding the

>Borderline Mother” (Lawson) and “Surviving the Borderline Parent,” (Roth)

>which you can find at any bookstore. Welcome to the WTO community!

>

>From Randi Kreger, Owner BPDCentral, WTO Online Community and author SWOE

>and the SWOE Workbook.

>

October 6, 2006

This is so much bogus crap from a borderline its not even funny. I

love how she implores your forgiveness while trying to totally guilt

trip you on your sister and grandmother. Which is it? Honestly asking

for forgiveness or trying to make you feel like you need to beg for

forgiveness?

I agree with everyone else. I'd totally ignore this letter and act

like it got lost in cyberspace. I would not contact dad over this

just b/c that way you'll be indirectly giving affirmation to nada

that her tricks are working via your dad. I'm sure he'll give that

info back to her, won't he? That you contacted him and asked and oh

wow! Guess what, you're officially pulled back into the drama game.

Nope, I'd just pretend I never got it though of course pretend is the

key word. Its so freaking hard processing emotions that a letter like

this can conjure up. She sure knows how to push buttons, pull on

heartstrings and distort things around so you are left being the one

responsible for stepping up to take action. Even if you did call your

dad, it would look like you are taking the initiation when infact

nada contacted you via email in closed quarters- basically trying to

get you back into the mix while you're action of calling your dad

will look like you are the one jumping back b/c you miss them all so

much. Ugh. Ulk. Run, don't walk! Its a trap!

Best wishes to you. Deepest sympathies w/the emotions a letter like

this can conjure up.

Kerrie

>

> Hi All, I woke up this morning to check my emails and come on here

> and I got an email from nada. I have changed my accounts and my

> phone numbers and where I have lived and we have tried being

> unlisted and going n/c with everybody in my whole life and living

in

> a shell it doesn't work. I feel controlled and she gets worse, I

> think being anonyms works great for some people but my nada turns

> into like a crazy caged mad man and she will try anything to hunt

me

> down and destroy me those are her words. So I just live my life as

> normal as I can but really what is normal? Well anyways like I said

> I am not hiding and my nada just wrote me an email today, I have to

> give her credit it was much less crazy than the rest, could she be

> slowing down?….NAH! Maybe this is just another calm before the

> storm. She had the same old lines " This is my last time,

> unconditional love " " I am sick you would care anyways " " Granny is

> hurt, your sister thinks she doesn't have a sister " " Your dad can't

> take it anymore…your dad… " and btw my dad and I have been talking

> aside from this month we have been talking just fine! But she did

> throw in a new one and that surprised me " if you could forgive I

> would start over today " Anyways would you all read it and let me

> know what you think. I am tempted to ask my dad personally if this

> is how he feels and try to stop the triangulation but would that be

> stupid? Let me know your impute. And btw I talked to my sister last

> spring when I dedicated her that song unwritten and she said to me

> she was happy to hear from me and she said she was happy I

contacted

> her when I did because it showed her I cared. One other thing that

> surprised me was they said something about life insurance on me?

> Well that is new to me what were they planning? Also I am sure her

> Kidneys almost did fail she has been struggling w/ them but by

fault

> of her own. Remember I said she has conversion reaction formerly

> known as hysteria She really thinks she is sick and suffering with

> things that she does not suffer from. Like fake fainting, fake

> seizures fake tunnel vision. On top of it she has imaginary back

> neck and shoulder pain but she really thinks she has it so she

> doctor hops and takes massive amounts of morphine and other strong

> drugs on a daily basis. The doctors were warning her years ago when

> I was still there that this and other things could happen, like

> addictions and rebound head aches. Well sorry about this being so

> long It really rocked my world I feel like a basket of nerves.

Sorry

> if I seem really on edge I am. You will have to pardon me. Thanks

> for reading this Love Lizzy Here is the letter.

>

> Dear Lizzy, I have a Graduation picture of your sister for you and

I

> also have your life insurance policy to send to you.(If you want

it)

> Dad would like to have this stuff sent to you because the divided

> family has become too hard on him and he and I have lost hope that

> you and your husband will ever forgive and come back to be part of

> the family. It has been just too depressing for Daddy and me to

have

> to deal with any more. With both of his parents being sick and with

> me almost dying this past summer daddy just can't handle any more

of

> this. I asked him to not tell you about me being so sick because I

> knew that it would not matter to you because he tells me what you

> say about me and you probally would not have believed him any way

if

> he would have told you. I am back on my way to getting better each

> day but once your kidneys shut down it is a long haul back. I would

> like to ask you to find it in your heart to let everything go and

> remember you have a family that loves you very much and misses you

> very much. This will be the last time I ask you to come back to our

> family because I just can't handle the hurt any more and It is

> something that I must just put out of my mind if it is never going

> to happen. It is really sad that so many people have been hurt from

> this and that so many years have gone by with out any healing. I

> want you and your husband to know that there has not been a day

that

> has passed that I have not prayed for the two of you and your

> children. Dad and I have prayed each day for the restoration of our

> family and I have watched your sister as she has become an

> independent young woman that believes she no longer has a sister. I

> guess this has gone on for so long there is not one of us that ever

> believes that you will ever return. I just want you to know that I

> have never quit loving you and your family and I will love you

until

> the day that I die. I have left letters for all of you just in case

> that we never talk again. The letters will let each one of you know

> how much I love you, and how sad that I am that we wasted all of

> those years not talking and not fixing the things that were wrong.

I

> may not be perfect, but I do love you from the depth of my soul and

> I would do just about anything to have you back into our family. I

> really miss my daughter. I try each day to hold on to the memories

> of how you were and I know that you are not the same girl that left

> this home that terrible night. I realize that I don't even know you

> any more and you don't know me either. You don't know your sister

or

> your daddy any more either. Granny, who used to be one of your

> favorite people on the earth was thrown away by you and she was

> extreamly hurt and does not understand why you did it. She

struggles

> with forgiving what happened to her. The only thing that waiting

> this long to fix things has done is mess them up worse. If you

would

> like to repair all of the relationships I would love to start right

> away on ours. My cell number is ******* Please feel free to call

and

> I would love to see you again. If you can forgive I could start

over

> today. My love for you is unconditional. I will never stop loving

> you. We all love you very much! Love, Mom

>

October 6, 2006

Hi Lizzy,

What struck me the most from the letter is that she took NO

responsibility for her abusive behaviors. NONE. She put it all on

you as if you are the problem. If only YOU would come back and

forgive. It isn't a matter of forgiveness, the problem is that the

same toxicity you left still exists and they have no

willingness/ability to change that.

That to me is the core problem with nadas, that most of them don't

ever get better. But since they can't admit to that, they make it

seem like we are being cruel or unforgiving for not returning. Plus

she tried to use your dad and his 'hurt' feelings as a way to

manipulate. To me, this letter reeks of manipulation and oozes with

deception.

I pictured the author as a wolf in sheeps clothing, dropping the

best bait she could, but lurking behind a bush, salivating with the

desire to devour. 'Course that may be a bit much, but that is the

image that came to mind.

>

> Hi All, I woke up this morning to check my emails and come on here

> and I got an email from nada. I have changed my accounts and my

> phone numbers and where I have lived and we have tried being

> unlisted and going n/c with everybody in my whole life and living

in

> a shell it doesn't work. I feel controlled and she gets worse, I

> think being anonyms works great for some people but my nada turns

> into like a crazy caged mad man and she will try anything to hunt

me

> down and destroy me those are her words. So I just live my life as

> normal as I can but really what is normal? Well anyways like I

said

> I am not hiding and my nada just wrote me an email today, I have

to

> give her credit it was much less crazy than the rest, could she be

> slowing down?….NAH! Maybe this is just another calm before the

> storm. She had the same old lines " This is my last time,

> unconditional love " " I am sick you would care anyways " " Granny is

> hurt, your sister thinks she doesn't have a sister " " Your dad

can't

> take it anymore…your dad… " and btw my dad and I have been talking

> aside from this month we have been talking just fine! But she did

> throw in a new one and that surprised me " if you could forgive I

> would start over today " Anyways would you all read it and let me

> know what you think. I am tempted to ask my dad personally if this

> is how he feels and try to stop the triangulation but would that

be

> stupid? Let me know your impute. And btw I talked to my sister

last

> spring when I dedicated her that song unwritten and she said to me

> she was happy to hear from me and she said she was happy I

contacted

> her when I did because it showed her I cared. One other thing that

> surprised me was they said something about life insurance on me?

> Well that is new to me what were they planning? Also I am sure her

> Kidneys almost did fail she has been struggling w/ them but by

fault

> of her own. Remember I said she has conversion reaction formerly

> known as hysteria She really thinks she is sick and suffering with

> things that she does not suffer from. Like fake fainting, fake

> seizures fake tunnel vision. On top of it she has imaginary back

> neck and shoulder pain but she really thinks she has it so she

> doctor hops and takes massive amounts of morphine and other strong

> drugs on a daily basis. The doctors were warning her years ago

when

> I was still there that this and other things could happen, like

> addictions and rebound head aches. Well sorry about this being so

> long It really rocked my world I feel like a basket of nerves.

Sorry

> if I seem really on edge I am. You will have to pardon me. Thanks

> for reading this Love Lizzy Here is the letter.

>

> Dear Lizzy, I have a Graduation picture of your sister for you and

I

> also have your life insurance policy to send to you.(If you want

it)

> Dad would like to have this stuff sent to you because the divided

> family has become too hard on him and he and I have lost hope that

> you and your husband will ever forgive and come back to be part of

> the family. It has been just too depressing for Daddy and me to

have

> to deal with any more. With both of his parents being sick and

with

> me almost dying this past summer daddy just can't handle any more

of

> this. I asked him to not tell you about me being so sick because I

> knew that it would not matter to you because he tells me what you

> say about me and you probally would not have believed him any way

if

> he would have told you. I am back on my way to getting better each

> day but once your kidneys shut down it is a long haul back. I

would

> like to ask you to find it in your heart to let everything go and

> remember you have a family that loves you very much and misses you

> very much. This will be the last time I ask you to come back to

our

> family because I just can't handle the hurt any more and It is

> something that I must just put out of my mind if it is never going

> to happen. It is really sad that so many people have been hurt

from

> this and that so many years have gone by with out any healing. I

> want you and your husband to know that there has not been a day

that

> has passed that I have not prayed for the two of you and your

> children. Dad and I have prayed each day for the restoration of

our

> family and I have watched your sister as she has become an

> independent young woman that believes she no longer has a sister.

I

> guess this has gone on for so long there is not one of us that

ever

> believes that you will ever return. I just want you to know that I

> have never quit loving you and your family and I will love you

until

> the day that I die. I have left letters for all of you just in

case

> that we never talk again. The letters will let each one of you

know

> how much I love you, and how sad that I am that we wasted all of

> those years not talking and not fixing the things that were wrong.

I

> may not be perfect, but I do love you from the depth of my soul

and

> I would do just about anything to have you back into our family. I

> really miss my daughter. I try each day to hold on to the memories

> of how you were and I know that you are not the same girl that

left

> this home that terrible night. I realize that I don't even know

you

> any more and you don't know me either. You don't know your sister

or

> your daddy any more either. Granny, who used to be one of your

> favorite people on the earth was thrown away by you and she was

> extreamly hurt and does not understand why you did it. She

struggles

> with forgiving what happened to her. The only thing that waiting

> this long to fix things has done is mess them up worse. If you

would

> like to repair all of the relationships I would love to start

right

> away on ours. My cell number is ******* Please feel free to call

and

> I would love to see you again. If you can forgive I could start

over

> today. My love for you is unconditional. I will never stop loving

> you. We all love you very much! Love, Mom

>

October 6, 2006

I'm in agreement. Ignore it. Consider it bad family spam. Is it

really a deal you would click on?

Your nada is just like mine. What can you say that would help?

What good would any communication do? It's a lose lose situation.

Hang tight. You have our support and sympathy.

a

>

> Hi All, I woke up this morning to check my emails and come on here

> and I got an email from nada. I have changed my accounts and my

> phone numbers and where I have lived and we have tried being

> unlisted and going n/c with everybody in my whole life and living

in

> a shell it doesn't work. I feel controlled and she gets worse, I

> think being anonyms works great for some people but my nada turns

> into like a crazy caged mad man and she will try anything to hunt

me

> down and destroy me those are her words. So I just live my life as

> normal as I can but really what is normal? Well anyways like I

said

> I am not hiding and my nada just wrote me an email today, I have

to

> give her credit it was much less crazy than the rest, could she be

> slowing down?….NAH! Maybe this is just another calm before the

> storm. She had the same old lines " This is my last time,

> unconditional love " " I am sick you would care anyways " " Granny is

> hurt, your sister thinks she doesn't have a sister " " Your dad

can't

> take it anymore…your dad… " and btw my dad and I have been talking

> aside from this month we have been talking just fine! But she did

> throw in a new one and that surprised me " if you could forgive I

> would start over today " Anyways would you all read it and let me

> know what you think. I am tempted to ask my dad personally if this

> is how he feels and try to stop the triangulation but would that

be

> stupid? Let me know your impute. And btw I talked to my sister

last

> spring when I dedicated her that song unwritten and she said to me

> she was happy to hear from me and she said she was happy I

contacted

> her when I did because it showed her I cared. One other thing that

> surprised me was they said something about life insurance on me?

> Well that is new to me what were they planning? Also I am sure her

> Kidneys almost did fail she has been struggling w/ them but by

fault

> of her own. Remember I said she has conversion reaction formerly

> known as hysteria She really thinks she is sick and suffering with

> things that she does not suffer from. Like fake fainting, fake

> seizures fake tunnel vision. On top of it she has imaginary back

> neck and shoulder pain but she really thinks she has it so she

> doctor hops and takes massive amounts of morphine and other strong

> drugs on a daily basis. The doctors were warning her years ago

when

> I was still there that this and other things could happen, like

> addictions and rebound head aches. Well sorry about this being so

> long It really rocked my world I feel like a basket of nerves.

Sorry

> if I seem really on edge I am. You will have to pardon me. Thanks

> for reading this Love Lizzy Here is the letter.

>

> Dear Lizzy, I have a Graduation picture of your sister for you and

I

> also have your life insurance policy to send to you.(If you want

it)

> Dad would like to have this stuff sent to you because the divided

> family has become too hard on him and he and I have lost hope that

> you and your husband will ever forgive and come back to be part of

> the family. It has been just too depressing for Daddy and me to

have

> to deal with any more. With both of his parents being sick and

with

> me almost dying this past summer daddy just can't handle any more

of

> this. I asked him to not tell you about me being so sick because I

> knew that it would not matter to you because he tells me what you

> say about me and you probally would not have believed him any way

if

> he would have told you. I am back on my way to getting better each

> day but once your kidneys shut down it is a long haul back. I

would

> like to ask you to find it in your heart to let everything go and

> remember you have a family that loves you very much and misses you

> very much. This will be the last time I ask you to come back to

our

> family because I just can't handle the hurt any more and It is

> something that I must just put out of my mind if it is never going

> to happen. It is really sad that so many people have been hurt

from

> this and that so many years have gone by with out any healing. I

> want you and your husband to know that there has not been a day

that

> has passed that I have not prayed for the two of you and your

> children. Dad and I have prayed each day for the restoration of

our

> family and I have watched your sister as she has become an

> independent young woman that believes she no longer has a sister.

I

> guess this has gone on for so long there is not one of us that

ever

> believes that you will ever return. I just want you to know that I

> have never quit loving you and your family and I will love you

until

> the day that I die. I have left letters for all of you just in

case

> that we never talk again. The letters will let each one of you

know

> how much I love you, and how sad that I am that we wasted all of

> those years not talking and not fixing the things that were wrong.

I

> may not be perfect, but I do love you from the depth of my soul

and

> I would do just about anything to have you back into our family. I

> really miss my daughter. I try each day to hold on to the memories

> of how you were and I know that you are not the same girl that

left

> this home that terrible night. I realize that I don't even know

you

> any more and you don't know me either. You don't know your sister

or

> your daddy any more either. Granny, who used to be one of your

> favorite people on the earth was thrown away by you and she was

> extreamly hurt and does not understand why you did it. She

struggles

> with forgiving what happened to her. The only thing that waiting

> this long to fix things has done is mess them up worse. If you

would

> like to repair all of the relationships I would love to start

right

> away on ours. My cell number is ******* Please feel free to call

and

> I would love to see you again. If you can forgive I could start

over

> today. My love for you is unconditional. I will never stop loving

> you. We all love you very much! Love, Mom

>

October 6, 2006

Thank you everybody for all the great support. I really really

needed it. I will ignore it. You guys are right if I were to bring

this to my dad's attention not only would I be acknowledging her but

also he would do nothing so there would be no point. Thank you for

all the humor and analogies they were a breath of fresh air. I would

never want to resume contact with her after everything I have worked

so hard for. This now who I am now, this is part of my identity and

I am proud of it, I am proud of who I am and the strength it took me

to stay away this whole time. It gives me pride and a sense of

accomplishment I would never want to lose that just to go under he

submission again. I did get a little chuckle about my sister being

independent though, she doesn't even know what that word means. She

gets everything for free from my parents with out having to work and

they control her every move. I am sorry to say but there is no

independence there, they lie and tell her she has independence to

keep her on a leash. It is just an illusion. Well anyways I am

feeling a little better now after talking to all of you, so thanks

so much I really don't know how I did it before I found you guys.

That is part of finding an inner strength but now that I have that

much it is even better to have the strength of numbers which we have

together. Love Lizzy

> >

> > Hi All, I woke up this morning to check my emails and come on

here

> > and I got an email from nada. I have changed my accounts and my

> > phone numbers and where I have lived and we have tried being

> > unlisted and going n/c with everybody in my whole life and

living

> in

> > a shell it doesn't work. I feel controlled and she gets worse, I

> > think being anonyms works great for some people but my nada

turns

> > into like a crazy caged mad man and she will try anything to

hunt

> me

> > down and destroy me those are her words. So I just live my life

as

> > normal as I can but really what is normal? Well anyways like I

> said

> > I am not hiding and my nada just wrote me an email today, I have

> to

> > give her credit it was much less crazy than the rest, could she

be

> > slowing down?….NAH! Maybe this is just another calm before the

> > storm. She had the same old lines " This is my last time,

> > unconditional love " " I am sick you would care anyways " " Granny

is

> > hurt, your sister thinks she doesn't have a sister " " Your dad

> can't

> > take it anymore…your dad… " and btw my dad and I have been

talking

> > aside from this month we have been talking just fine! But she

did

> > throw in a new one and that surprised me " if you could forgive I

> > would start over today " Anyways would you all read it and let

me

> > know what you think. I am tempted to ask my dad personally if

this

> > is how he feels and try to stop the triangulation but would that

> be

> > stupid? Let me know your impute. And btw I talked to my sister

> last

> > spring when I dedicated her that song unwritten and she said to

me

> > she was happy to hear from me and she said she was happy I

> contacted

> > her when I did because it showed her I cared. One other thing

that

> > surprised me was they said something about life insurance on me?

> > Well that is new to me what were they planning? Also I am sure

her

> > Kidneys almost did fail she has been struggling w/ them but by

> fault

> > of her own. Remember I said she has conversion reaction formerly

> > known as hysteria She really thinks she is sick and suffering

with

> > things that she does not suffer from. Like fake fainting, fake

> > seizures fake tunnel vision. On top of it she has imaginary back

> > neck and shoulder pain but she really thinks she has it so she

> > doctor hops and takes massive amounts of morphine and other

strong

> > drugs on a daily basis. The doctors were warning her years ago

> when

> > I was still there that this and other things could happen, like

> > addictions and rebound head aches. Well sorry about this being

so

> > long It really rocked my world I feel like a basket of nerves.

> Sorry

> > if I seem really on edge I am. You will have to pardon me.

Thanks

> > for reading this Love Lizzy Here is the letter.

> >

> > Dear Lizzy, I have a Graduation picture of your sister for you

and

> I

> > also have your life insurance policy to send to you.(If you want

> it)

> > Dad would like to have this stuff sent to you because the

divided

> > family has become too hard on him and he and I have lost hope

that

> > you and your husband will ever forgive and come back to be part

of

> > the family. It has been just too depressing for Daddy and me to

> have

> > to deal with any more. With both of his parents being sick and

> with

> > me almost dying this past summer daddy just can't handle any

more

> of

> > this. I asked him to not tell you about me being so sick because

I

> > knew that it would not matter to you because he tells me what

you

> > say about me and you probally would not have believed him any

way

> if

> > he would have told you. I am back on my way to getting better

each

> > day but once your kidneys shut down it is a long haul back. I

> would

> > like to ask you to find it in your heart to let everything go

and

> > remember you have a family that loves you very much and misses

you

> > very much. This will be the last time I ask you to come back to

> our

> > family because I just can't handle the hurt any more and It is

> > something that I must just put out of my mind if it is never

going

> > to happen. It is really sad that so many people have been hurt

> from

> > this and that so many years have gone by with out any healing. I

> > want you and your husband to know that there has not been a day

> that

> > has passed that I have not prayed for the two of you and your

> > children. Dad and I have prayed each day for the restoration of

> our

> > family and I have watched your sister as she has become an

> > independent young woman that believes she no longer has a

sister.

> I

> > guess this has gone on for so long there is not one of us that

> ever

> > believes that you will ever return. I just want you to know that

I

> > have never quit loving you and your family and I will love you

> until

> > the day that I die. I have left letters for all of you just in

> case

> > that we never talk again. The letters will let each one of you

> know

> > how much I love you, and how sad that I am that we wasted all of

> > those years not talking and not fixing the things that were

wrong.

> I

> > may not be perfect, but I do love you from the depth of my soul

> and

> > I would do just about anything to have you back into our family.

I

> > really miss my daughter. I try each day to hold on to the

memories

> > of how you were and I know that you are not the same girl that

> left

> > this home that terrible night. I realize that I don't even know

> you

> > any more and you don't know me either. You don't know your

sister

> or

> > your daddy any more either. Granny, who used to be one of your

> > favorite people on the earth was thrown away by you and she was

> > extreamly hurt and does not understand why you did it. She

> struggles

> > with forgiving what happened to her. The only thing that waiting

> > this long to fix things has done is mess them up worse. If you

> would

> > like to repair all of the relationships I would love to start

> right

> > away on ours. My cell number is ******* Please feel free to call

> and

> > I would love to see you again. If you can forgive I could start

> over

> > today. My love for you is unconditional. I will never stop

loving

> > you. We all love you very much! Love, Mom

> >

>

October 6, 2006

Lizzy,

She is STEAMING With HATE for you. This is how I decifer the BPD code:

Dear Lizzy, I have a Graduation picture of your sister for you and I

also have your life insurance policy to send to you.(If you want it) she could

be talking about a life insurance policy on herself to gain sympathy and you are

listed as a beneficiary. If so, this is a vailed threat to say, get in line or

you're not getting a cent. Also, Your sister is so good and you are so f'd up.

Dad would like to have this stuff sent to you because the divided

family has become too hard on him and he and I have lost hope that

you and your husband will ever forgive and come back to be part of

the family.This is all about her and trying to guilt you. It has been just too

depressing for Daddy and me to have

to deal with any more.More guilt. With both of his parents being sick and with

me almost dying this past summer daddy just can't handle any more of

this.Lies and more guilt and how dare you not be here for me, especially in the

next sentence. I asked him to not tell you about me being so sick because I

knew that it would not matter to you because he tells me what you

say about me and you probally would not have believed him any way if

he would have told you. I am back on my way to getting better each

day but once your kidneys shut down it is a long haul back.HUGE LIE> Once your

kidneys shut down, they don't come back = dialysis. I would

like to ask you to find it in your heart to let everythingdon't hold me

responsible for anything I do to you or did to you go and

remember you have a family that loves you very much and misses you

very much. I use the word love as carte blanche to hurt and manipulate people -

why won't it work on you. That is killing me!! This will be the last time I

ask you to come back to our

family because I just can't handle the hurt any more and It is

something that I must just put out of my mind if it is never going

to happen. See above. She has not mentioned one thing about you and how

wonderful you are and that is why she wants you back in her life. This is

allher hate and projection. It is really sad that so many people have been hurt

from

this and that so many years have gone by with out any healing. Again, not taking

any responsibility for her actions. I

want you and your husband to know that there has not been a day that

has passed that I have not prayed for the two of you and your

children. Dad and I have prayed each day for the restoration of our

family and I have watched your sister as she has become an

independent young woman that believes she no longer has a sister.I love this one

- when the nada is closer to GOD and is so close to God that she is God. I

guess this has gone on for so long there is not one of us that ever

believes that you will ever return.Alright, you have prooved your point, now

just come back and I will really show you who you are. I just want you to know

that I

have never quit loving you and your family and I will love you until

the day that I die.Manipulating You. I have left letters for all of you just

in case

that we never talk again.This is another one I love from nada's: the when I die

thing. F'ing go ahead!! do us all a favor. The letters will let each one of

you know

how much I love you, here she is actually admitting to separating you all. and

how sad that I am that we wasted all of

those years not talking and not fixing the things that were wrong.projection -

there is not hing wrong with me - it's you. I

may not be perfect, Anyone who says, I may not be perfect actually believes that

they are and can do no wrong. but I do love you from the depth of my soul and

I would do just about anything except change and get well to have you back into

our family. I

really miss my daughter. I really miss manipulating you and you taking my pain

away. How selfish of you, you little _______!!! I try each day to hold on to the

memories

of how you were and I know that you are not the same girl that left

this home that terrible night. I realize that I don't even know you

any more and you don't know me either. Truth is I never knew you and won't. You

are me, you are an appendage of me and I want that appendage back!! You don't

know your sister or

your daddy any more either. Granny, who used to be one of your

favorite people on the earth was thrown away by you and she was

extreamly hurt and does not understand why you did it. She struggles

with forgiving what happened to her. The only thing that waiting

this long to fix things has done is mess them up worse.More guilt and blame.

She still has not said anything good about you. I would ask myself, if I was

the one writing this letter, why in the hell would I want somebody so ungrateful

and who has caused so much hurt back in my life, especially if it was b/c of

love???????? If you would

like to repair all of the relationships I would love to start right

away on ours. I am getting pressure from the rest of the family and they are

questioning me b/c of what you are doing. So you better stop or else. My cell

number is ******* Please feel free to call and

I would love to see you again.I'll say please feel free to call b/c I won't beg.

And I would love to see you again so I can really let you have it. If you can

forgive I could start over

today.How is this possible when she just blamed everything on you? She is

really saying, If you come back, the abuse will start all over again today!!

My love for you is unconditional. I will hate you till the day I die. I will

never stop loving

you. We all love you very much! I'm so powerful, I control who they love and

don't love. Love, Mom

lizzyboo81 wrote:

Hi All, I woke up this morning to check my emails and come on here

and I got an email from nada. I have changed my accounts and my

phone numbers and where I have lived and we have tried being

unlisted and going n/c with everybody in my whole life and living in

a shell it doesn't work. I feel controlled and she gets worse, I

think being anonyms works great for some people but my nada turns

into like a crazy caged mad man and she will try anything to hunt me

down and destroy me those are her words. So I just live my life as

normal as I can but really what is normal? Well anyways like I said

I am not hiding and my nada just wrote me an email today, I have to

give her credit it was much less crazy than the rest, could she be

slowing down?….NAH! Maybe this is just another calm before the

storm. She had the same old lines " This is my last time,

unconditional love " " I am sick you would care anyways " " Granny is

hurt, your sister thinks she doesn't have a sister " " Your dad can't

take it anymore…your dad… " and btw my dad and I have been talking

aside from this month we have been talking just fine! But she did

throw in a new one and that surprised me " if you could forgive I

would start over today " Anyways would you all read it and let me

know what you think. I am tempted to ask my dad personally if this

is how he feels and try to stop the triangulation but would that be

stupid? Let me know your impute. And btw I talked to my sister last

spring when I dedicated her that song unwritten and she said to me

she was happy to hear from me and she said she was happy I contacted

her when I did because it showed her I cared. One other thing that

surprised me was they said something about life insurance on me?

Well that is new to me what were they planning? Also I am sure her

Kidneys almost did fail she has been struggling w/ them but by fault

of her own. Remember I said she has conversion reaction formerly

known as hysteria She really thinks she is sick and suffering with

things that she does not suffer from. Like fake fainting, fake

seizures fake tunnel vision. On top of it she has imaginary back

neck and shoulder pain but she really thinks she has it so she

doctor hops and takes massive amounts of morphine and other strong

drugs on a daily basis. The doctors were warning her years ago when

I was still there that this and other things could happen, like

addictions and rebound head aches. Well sorry about this being so

long It really rocked my world I feel like a basket of nerves. Sorry

if I seem really on edge I am. You will have to pardon me. Thanks

for reading this Love Lizzy Here is the letter.

Dear Lizzy, I have a Graduation picture of your sister for you and I

also have your life insurance policy to send to you.(If you want it)

Dad would like to have this stuff sent to you because the divided

family has become too hard on him and he and I have lost hope that

you and your husband will ever forgive and come back to be part of

the family. It has been just too depressing for Daddy and me to have

to deal with any more. With both of his parents being sick and with

me almost dying this past summer daddy just can't handle any more of

this. I asked him to not tell you about me being so sick because I

knew that it would not matter to you because he tells me what you

say about me and you probally would not have believed him any way if

he would have told you. I am back on my way to getting better each

day but once your kidneys shut down it is a long haul back. I would

like to ask you to find it in your heart to let everything go and

remember you have a family that loves you very much and misses you

very much. This will be the last time I ask you to come back to our

family because I just can't handle the hurt any more and It is

something that I must just put out of my mind if it is never going

to happen. It is really sad that so many people have been hurt from

this and that so many years have gone by with out any healing. I

want you and your husband to know that there has not been a day that

has passed that I have not prayed for the two of you and your

children. Dad and I have prayed each day for the restoration of our

family and I have watched your sister as she has become an

independent young woman that believes she no longer has a sister. I

guess this has gone on for so long there is not one of us that ever

believes that you will ever return. I just want you to know that I

have never quit loving you and your family and I will love you until

the day that I die. I have left letters for all of you just in case

that we never talk again. The letters will let each one of you know

how much I love you, and how sad that I am that we wasted all of

those years not talking and not fixing the things that were wrong. I

may not be perfect, but I do love you from the depth of my soul and

I would do just about anything to have you back into our family. I

really miss my daughter. I try each day to hold on to the memories

of how you were and I know that you are not the same girl that left

this home that terrible night. I realize that I don't even know you

any more and you don't know me either. You don't know your sister or

your daddy any more either. Granny, who used to be one of your

favorite people on the earth was thrown away by you and she was

extreamly hurt and does not understand why you did it. She struggles

with forgiving what happened to her. The only thing that waiting

this long to fix things has done is mess them up worse. If you would

like to repair all of the relationships I would love to start right

away on ours. My cell number is ******* Please feel free to call and

I would love to see you again. If you can forgive I could start over

today. My love for you is unconditional. I will never stop loving

you. We all love you very much! Love, Mom

---------------------------------

How low will we go? Check out Yahoo! Messenger’s low PC-to-Phone call rates.

October 6, 2006

I totally agree with Kyla. Don't respond - she has no power over you any more,

Lizzy. You've looked behind the curtain and seen a bitter old woman, losing

control, especially with your sister graduating. With her gone, she will have

even less control. That is in part why she is writing to you out of

desperation. Let her feel how desperation feels by not responding.

Greg.

kylaboo728 wrote:

My 2 cent's worth? Ignore it. Period. It's a trap. Why invite

that into your life again? She's not the official representative of

the rest of your family. If any or all of them want a relationship

with you, it's up to them.

Ignore it. It's just a Trojan Horse.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

-Kyla

>

> Hi All, I woke up this morning to check my emails and come on here

> and I got an email from nada. I have changed my accounts and my

> phone numbers and where I have lived and we have tried being

> unlisted and going n/c with everybody in my whole life and living

in

> a shell it doesn't work. I feel controlled and she gets worse, I

> think being anonyms works great for some people but my nada turns

> into like a crazy caged mad man and she will try anything to hunt

me

> down and destroy me those are her words. So I just live my life as

> normal as I can but really what is normal? Well anyways like I

said

> I am not hiding and my nada just wrote me an email today, I have

to

> give her credit it was much less crazy than the rest, could she be

> slowing down?….NAH! Maybe this is just another calm before the

> storm. She had the same old lines " This is my last time,

> unconditional love " " I am sick you would care anyways " " Granny is

> hurt, your sister thinks she doesn't have a sister " " Your dad

can't

> take it anymore…your dad… " and btw my dad and I have been talking

> aside from this month we have been talking just fine! But she did

> throw in a new one and that surprised me " if you could forgive I

> would start over today " Anyways would you all read it and let me

> know what you think. I am tempted to ask my dad personally if this

> is how he feels and try to stop the triangulation but would that

be

> stupid? Let me know your impute. And btw I talked to my sister

last

> spring when I dedicated her that song unwritten and she said to me

> she was happy to hear from me and she said she was happy I

contacted

> her when I did because it showed her I cared. One other thing that

> surprised me was they said something about life insurance on me?

> Well that is new to me what were they planning? Also I am sure her

> Kidneys almost did fail she has been struggling w/ them but by

fault

> of her own. Remember I said she has conversion reaction formerly

> known as hysteria She really thinks she is sick and suffering with

> things that she does not suffer from. Like fake fainting, fake

> seizures fake tunnel vision. On top of it she has imaginary back

> neck and shoulder pain but she really thinks she has it so she

> doctor hops and takes massive amounts of morphine and other strong

> drugs on a daily basis. The doctors were warning her years ago

when

> I was still there that this and other things could happen, like

> addictions and rebound head aches. Well sorry about this being so

> long It really rocked my world I feel like a basket of nerves.

Sorry

> if I seem really on edge I am. You will have to pardon me. Thanks

> for reading this Love Lizzy Here is the letter.

>

> Dear Lizzy, I have a Graduation picture of your sister for you and

I

> also have your life insurance policy to send to you.(If you want

it)

> Dad would like to have this stuff sent to you because the divided

> family has become too hard on him and he and I have lost hope that

> you and your husband will ever forgive and come back to be part of

> the family. It has been just too depressing for Daddy and me to

have

> to deal with any more. With both of his parents being sick and

with

> me almost dying this past summer daddy just can't handle any more

of

> this. I asked him to not tell you about me being so sick because I

> knew that it would not matter to you because he tells me what you

> say about me and you probally would not have believed him any way

if

> he would have told you. I am back on my way to getting better each

> day but once your kidneys shut down it is a long haul back. I

would

> like to ask you to find it in your heart to let everything go and

> remember you have a family that loves you very much and misses you

> very much. This will be the last time I ask you to come back to

our

> family because I just can't handle the hurt any more and It is

> something that I must just put out of my mind if it is never going

> to happen. It is really sad that so many people have been hurt

from

> this and that so many years have gone by with out any healing. I

> want you and your husband to know that there has not been a day

that

> has passed that I have not prayed for the two of you and your

> children. Dad and I have prayed each day for the restoration of

our

> family and I have watched your sister as she has become an

> independent young woman that believes she no longer has a sister.

I

> guess this has gone on for so long there is not one of us that

ever

> believes that you will ever return. I just want you to know that I

> have never quit loving you and your family and I will love you

until

> the day that I die. I have left letters for all of you just in

case

> that we never talk again. The letters will let each one of you

know

> how much I love you, and how sad that I am that we wasted all of

> those years not talking and not fixing the things that were wrong.

I

> may not be perfect, but I do love you from the depth of my soul

and

> I would do just about anything to have you back into our family. I

> really miss my daughter. I try each day to hold on to the memories

> of how you were and I know that you are not the same girl that

left

> this home that terrible night. I realize that I don't even know

you

> any more and you don't know me either. You don't know your sister

or

> your daddy any more either. Granny, who used to be one of your

> favorite people on the earth was thrown away by you and she was

> extreamly hurt and does not understand why you did it. She

struggles

> with forgiving what happened to her. The only thing that waiting

> this long to fix things has done is mess them up worse. If you

would

> like to repair all of the relationships I would love to start

right

> away on ours. My cell number is ******* Please feel free to call

and

> I would love to see you again. If you can forgive I could start

over

> today. My love for you is unconditional. I will never stop loving

> you. We all love you very much! Love, Mom

>

---------------------------------

Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Make PC-to-Phone Calls to the US (and 30+

countries) for 2¢/min or less.

October 6, 2006

I agree. Don't even acknowlege it. Treat it like she treated you by ignoring

it.

Willette wrote: No !! Do not mention it to

your dad. If he wants to ask you a question,

then it is up to him to ask.

KW

>From: " lizzyboo81 "

>Reply-To: WTOAdultChildren1

>To: WTOAdultChildren1

>Subject: Re: First email from nada in 10 months

>Date: Fri, 06 Oct 2006 14:45:24 -0000

>

>Kyla nt to be anoying but Do you think I should even mention this to

>my dad? Thanks Lizzy

> > >

> > > Hi All, I woke up this morning to check my emails and come on

>here

> > > and I got an email from nada. I have changed my accounts and my

> > > phone numbers and where I have lived and we have tried being

> > > unlisted and going n/c with everybody in my whole life and

>living

> > in

> > > a shell it doesn't work. I feel controlled and she gets worse, I

> > > think being anonyms works great for some people but my nada

>turns

> > > into like a crazy caged mad man and she will try anything to

>hunt

> > me

> > > down and destroy me those are her words. So I just live my life

>as

> > > normal as I can but really what is normal? Well anyways like I

> > said

> > > I am not hiding and my nada just wrote me an email today, I have

> > to

> > > give her credit it was much less crazy than the rest, could she

>be

> > > slowing down?….NAH! Maybe this is just another calm before the

> > > storm. She had the same old lines " This is my last time,

> > > unconditional love " " I am sick you would care anyways " " Granny

>is

> > > hurt, your sister thinks she doesn't have a sister " " Your dad

> > can't

> > > take it anymore…your dad… " and btw my dad and I have been

>talking

> > > aside from this month we have been talking just fine! But she

>did

> > > throw in a new one and that surprised me " if you could forgive I

> > > would start over today " Anyways would you all read it and let

>me

> > > know what you think. I am tempted to ask my dad personally if

>this

> > > is how he feels and try to stop the triangulation but would that

> > be

> > > stupid? Let me know your impute. And btw I talked to my sister

> > last

> > > spring when I dedicated her that song unwritten and she said to

>me

> > > she was happy to hear from me and she said she was happy I

> > contacted

> > > her when I did because it showed her I cared. One other thing

>that

> > > surprised me was they said something about life insurance on me?

> > > Well that is new to me what were they planning? Also I am sure

>her

> > > Kidneys almost did fail she has been struggling w/ them but by

> > fault

> > > of her own. Remember I said she has conversion reaction formerly

> > > known as hysteria She really thinks she is sick and suffering

>with

> > > things that she does not suffer from. Like fake fainting, fake

> > > seizures fake tunnel vision. On top of it she has imaginary back

> > > neck and shoulder pain but she really thinks she has it so she

> > > doctor hops and takes massive amounts of morphine and other

>strong

> > > drugs on a daily basis. The doctors were warning her years ago

> > when

> > > I was still there that this and other things could happen, like

> > > addictions and rebound head aches. Well sorry about this being

>so

> > > long It really rocked my world I feel like a basket of nerves.

> > Sorry

> > > if I seem really on edge I am. You will have to pardon me.

>Thanks

> > > for reading this Love Lizzy Here is the letter.

> > >

> > > Dear Lizzy, I have a Graduation picture of your sister for you

>and

> > I

> > > also have your life insurance policy to send to you.(If you want

> > it)

> > > Dad would like to have this stuff sent to you because the

>divided

> > > family has become too hard on him and he and I have lost hope

>that

> > > you and your husband will ever forgive and come back to be part

>of

> > > the family. It has been just too depressing for Daddy and me to

> > have

> > > to deal with any more. With both of his parents being sick and

> > with

> > > me almost dying this past summer daddy just can't handle any

>more

> > of

> > > this. I asked him to not tell you about me being so sick because

>I

> > > knew that it would not matter to you because he tells me what

>you

> > > say about me and you probally would not have believed him any

>way

> > if

> > > he would have told you. I am back on my way to getting better

>each

> > > day but once your kidneys shut down it is a long haul back. I

> > would

> > > like to ask you to find it in your heart to let everything go

>and

> > > remember you have a family that loves you very much and misses

>you

> > > very much. This will be the last time I ask you to come back to

> > our

> > > family because I just can't handle the hurt any more and It is

> > > something that I must just put out of my mind if it is never

>going

> > > to happen. It is really sad that so many people have been hurt

> > from

> > > this and that so many years have gone by with out any healing. I

> > > want you and your husband to know that there has not been a day

> > that

> > > has passed that I have not prayed for the two of you and your

> > > children. Dad and I have prayed each day for the restoration of

> > our

> > > family and I have watched your sister as she has become an

> > > independent young woman that believes she no longer has a

>sister.

> > I

> > > guess this has gone on for so long there is not one of us that

> > ever

> > > believes that you will ever return. I just want you to know that

>I

> > > have never quit loving you and your family and I will love you

> > until

> > > the day that I die. I have left letters for all of you just in

> > case

> > > that we never talk again. The letters will let each one of you

> > know

> > > how much I love you, and how sad that I am that we wasted all of

> > > those years not talking and not fixing the things that were

>wrong.

> > I

> > > may not be perfect, but I do love you from the depth of my soul

> > and

> > > I would do just about anything to have you back into our family.

>I

> > > really miss my daughter. I try each day to hold on to the

>memories

> > > of how you were and I know that you are not the same girl that

> > left

> > > this home that terrible night. I realize that I don't even know

> > you

> > > any more and you don't know me either. You don't know your

>sister

> > or

> > > your daddy any more either. Granny, who used to be one of your

> > > favorite people on the earth was thrown away by you and she was

> > > extreamly hurt and does not understand why you did it. She

> > struggles

> > > with forgiving what happened to her. The only thing that waiting

> > > this long to fix things has done is mess them up worse. If you

> > would

> > > like to repair all of the relationships I would love to start

> > right

> > > away on ours. My cell number is ******* Please feel free to call

> > and

> > > I would love to see you again. If you can forgive I could start

> > over

> > > today. My love for you is unconditional. I will never stop

>loving

> > > you. We all love you very much! Love, Mom

> > >

> >

>

>Problems? Ask our friendly List Manager for help at

>@.... SEND HER ANY POSTS THAT CONCERN YOU; DO NOT Respond ON

>THE GROUP.

>

>To order the KO bible " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " call 888-35-SHELL

>() for your copy. We also refer to “Understanding the

>Borderline Mother” (Lawson) and “Surviving the Borderline Parent,” (Roth)

>which you can find at any bookstore. Welcome to the WTO community!

>

>From Randi Kreger, Owner BPDCentral, WTO Online Community and author SWOE

>and the SWOE Workbook.

>

October 6, 2006

Lizzy, it's so hard to do and you and the rest of us know it, but as toxic as

that email was, I can see why you let her go.

Greg.

baast2play wrote:

I'm in agreement. Ignore it. Consider it bad family spam. Is it

really a deal you would click on?

Your nada is just like mine. What can you say that would help?

What good would any communication do? It's a lose lose situation.

Hang tight. You have our support and sympathy.

a

>

> Hi All, I woke up this morning to check my emails and come on here

> and I got an email from nada. I have changed my accounts and my

> phone numbers and where I have lived and we have tried being

> unlisted and going n/c with everybody in my whole life and living

in

> a shell it doesn't work. I feel controlled and she gets worse, I

> think being anonyms works great for some people but my nada turns

> into like a crazy caged mad man and she will try anything to hunt

me

> down and destroy me those are her words. So I just live my life as

> normal as I can but really what is normal? Well anyways like I

said

> I am not hiding and my nada just wrote me an email today, I have

to

> give her credit it was much less crazy than the rest, could she be

> slowing down?….NAH! Maybe this is just another calm before the

> storm. She had the same old lines " This is my last time,

> unconditional love " " I am sick you would care anyways " " Granny is

> hurt, your sister thinks she doesn't have a sister " " Your dad

can't

> take it anymore…your dad… " and btw my dad and I have been talking

> aside from this month we have been talking just fine! But she did

> throw in a new one and that surprised me " if you could forgive I

> would start over today " Anyways would you all read it and let me

> know what you think. I am tempted to ask my dad personally if this

> is how he feels and try to stop the triangulation but would that

be

> stupid? Let me know your impute. And btw I talked to my sister

last

> spring when I dedicated her that song unwritten and she said to me

> she was happy to hear from me and she said she was happy I

contacted

> her when I did because it showed her I cared. One other thing that

> surprised me was they said something about life insurance on me?

> Well that is new to me what were they planning? Also I am sure her

> Kidneys almost did fail she has been struggling w/ them but by

fault

> of her own. Remember I said she has conversion reaction formerly

> known as hysteria She really thinks she is sick and suffering with

> things that she does not suffer from. Like fake fainting, fake

> seizures fake tunnel vision. On top of it she has imaginary back

> neck and shoulder pain but she really thinks she has it so she

> doctor hops and takes massive amounts of morphine and other strong

> drugs on a daily basis. The doctors were warning her years ago

when

> I was still there that this and other things could happen, like

> addictions and rebound head aches. Well sorry about this being so

> long It really rocked my world I feel like a basket of nerves.

Sorry

> if I seem really on edge I am. You will have to pardon me. Thanks

> for reading this Love Lizzy Here is the letter.

>

> Dear Lizzy, I have a Graduation picture of your sister for you and

I

> also have your life insurance policy to send to you.(If you want

it)

> Dad would like to have this stuff sent to you because the divided

> family has become too hard on him and he and I have lost hope that

> you and your husband will ever forgive and come back to be part of

> the family. It has been just too depressing for Daddy and me to

have

> to deal with any more. With both of his parents being sick and

with

> me almost dying this past summer daddy just can't handle any more

of

> this. I asked him to not tell you about me being so sick because I

> knew that it would not matter to you because he tells me what you

> say about me and you probally would not have believed him any way

if

> he would have told you. I am back on my way to getting better each

> day but once your kidneys shut down it is a long haul back. I

would

> like to ask you to find it in your heart to let everything go and

> remember you have a family that loves you very much and misses you

> very much. This will be the last time I ask you to come back to

our

> family because I just can't handle the hurt any more and It is

> something that I must just put out of my mind if it is never going

> to happen. It is really sad that so many people have been hurt

from

> this and that so many years have gone by with out any healing. I

> want you and your husband to know that there has not been a day

that

> has passed that I have not prayed for the two of you and your

> children. Dad and I have prayed each day for the restoration of

our

> family and I have watched your sister as she has become an

> independent young woman that believes she no longer has a sister.

I

> guess this has gone on for so long there is not one of us that

ever

> believes that you will ever return. I just want you to know that I

> have never quit loving you and your family and I will love you

until

> the day that I die. I have left letters for all of you just in

case

> that we never talk again. The letters will let each one of you

know

> how much I love you, and how sad that I am that we wasted all of

> those years not talking and not fixing the things that were wrong.

I

> may not be perfect, but I do love you from the depth of my soul

and

> I would do just about anything to have you back into our family. I

> really miss my daughter. I try each day to hold on to the memories

> of how you were and I know that you are not the same girl that

left

> this home that terrible night. I realize that I don't even know

you

> any more and you don't know me either. You don't know your sister

or

> your daddy any more either. Granny, who used to be one of your

> favorite people on the earth was thrown away by you and she was

> extreamly hurt and does not understand why you did it. She

struggles

> with forgiving what happened to her. The only thing that waiting

> this long to fix things has done is mess them up worse. If you

would

> like to repair all of the relationships I would love to start

right

> away on ours. My cell number is ******* Please feel free to call

and

> I would love to see you again. If you can forgive I could start

over

> today. My love for you is unconditional. I will never stop loving

> you. We all love you very much! Love, Mom

>

__________________________________________________

October 6, 2006

Greg, Thanks for the replies, I loved the letter that was really her

in a nut shell! Thanks Love, Lizzy

> >

> > Hi All, I woke up this morning to check my emails and come on

here

> > and I got an email from nada. I have changed my accounts and my

> > phone numbers and where I have lived and we have tried being

> > unlisted and going n/c with everybody in my whole life and

living

> in

> > a shell it doesn't work. I feel controlled and she gets worse, I

> > think being anonyms works great for some people but my nada

turns

> > into like a crazy caged mad man and she will try anything to

hunt

> me

> > down and destroy me those are her words. So I just live my life

as

> > normal as I can but really what is normal? Well anyways like I

> said

> > I am not hiding and my nada just wrote me an email today, I have

> to

> > give her credit it was much less crazy than the rest, could she

be

> > slowing down?….NAH! Maybe this is just another calm before the

> > storm. She had the same old lines " This is my last time,

> > unconditional love " " I am sick you would care anyways " " Granny

is

> > hurt, your sister thinks she doesn't have a sister " " Your dad

> can't

> > take it anymore…your dad… " and btw my dad and I have been

talking

> > aside from this month we have been talking just fine! But she

did

> > throw in a new one and that surprised me " if you could forgive I

> > would start over today " Anyways would you all read it and let me

> > know what you think. I am tempted to ask my dad personally if

this

> > is how he feels and try to stop the triangulation but would that

> be

> > stupid? Let me know your impute. And btw I talked to my sister

> last

> > spring when I dedicated her that song unwritten and she said to

me

> > she was happy to hear from me and she said she was happy I

> contacted

> > her when I did because it showed her I cared. One other thing

that

> > surprised me was they said something about life insurance on me?

> > Well that is new to me what were they planning? Also I am sure

her

> > Kidneys almost did fail she has been struggling w/ them but by

> fault

> > of her own. Remember I said she has conversion reaction formerly

> > known as hysteria She really thinks she is sick and suffering

with

> > things that she does not suffer from. Like fake fainting, fake

> > seizures fake tunnel vision. On top of it she has imaginary back

> > neck and shoulder pain but she really thinks she has it so she

> > doctor hops and takes massive amounts of morphine and other

strong

> > drugs on a daily basis. The doctors were warning her years ago

> when

> > I was still there that this and other things could happen, like

> > addictions and rebound head aches. Well sorry about this being

so

> > long It really rocked my world I feel like a basket of nerves.

> Sorry

> > if I seem really on edge I am. You will have to pardon me.

Thanks

> > for reading this Love Lizzy Here is the letter.

> >

> > Dear Lizzy, I have a Graduation picture of your sister for you

and

> I

> > also have your life insurance policy to send to you.(If you want

> it)

> > Dad would like to have this stuff sent to you because the

divided

> > family has become too hard on him and he and I have lost hope

that

> > you and your husband will ever forgive and come back to be part

of

> > the family. It has been just too depressing for Daddy and me to

> have

> > to deal with any more. With both of his parents being sick and

> with

> > me almost dying this past summer daddy just can't handle any

more

> of

> > this. I asked him to not tell you about me being so sick because

I

> > knew that it would not matter to you because he tells me what

you

> > say about me and you probally would not have believed him any

way

> if

> > he would have told you. I am back on my way to getting better

each

> > day but once your kidneys shut down it is a long haul back. I

> would

> > like to ask you to find it in your heart to let everything go

and

> > remember you have a family that loves you very much and misses

you

> > very much. This will be the last time I ask you to come back to

> our

> > family because I just can't handle the hurt any more and It is

> > something that I must just put out of my mind if it is never

going

> > to happen. It is really sad that so many people have been hurt

> from

> > this and that so many years have gone by with out any healing. I

> > want you and your husband to know that there has not been a day

> that

> > has passed that I have not prayed for the two of you and your

> > children. Dad and I have prayed each day for the restoration of

> our

> > family and I have watched your sister as she has become an

> > independent young woman that believes she no longer has a

sister.

> I

> > guess this has gone on for so long there is not one of us that

> ever

> > believes that you will ever return. I just want you to know that

I

> > have never quit loving you and your family and I will love you

> until

> > the day that I die. I have left letters for all of you just in

> case

> > that we never talk again. The letters will let each one of you

> know

> > how much I love you, and how sad that I am that we wasted all of

> > those years not talking and not fixing the things that were

wrong.

> I

> > may not be perfect, but I do love you from the depth of my soul

> and

> > I would do just about anything to have you back into our family.

I

> > really miss my daughter. I try each day to hold on to the

memories

> > of how you were and I know that you are not the same girl that

> left

> > this home that terrible night. I realize that I don't even know

> you

> > any more and you don't know me either. You don't know your

sister

> or

> > your daddy any more either. Granny, who used to be one of your

> > favorite people on the earth was thrown away by you and she was

> > extreamly hurt and does not understand why you did it. She

> struggles

> > with forgiving what happened to her. The only thing that waiting

> > this long to fix things has done is mess them up worse. If you

> would

> > like to repair all of the relationships I would love to start

> right

> > away on ours. My cell number is ******* Please feel free to call

> and

> > I would love to see you again. If you can forgive I could start

> over

> > today. My love for you is unconditional. I will never stop

loving

> > you. We all love you very much! Love, Mom

> >

>

> __________________________________________________

>

October 6, 2006

Naaah. Mentioning it to ANYONE is a way of keeping in it play, and

it gives your nada the satisfaction of " AHA!! I tracked her down

and I've started something!! She can't escape me!!! "

Deny her message ANY power -- ignore it and get on with your life.

There's always hope you'll have your own, authentic relationship

with your Dad, that doesn't involve your mom at all.

(Again, just my humble opinion!)

-Kyla

> > >

> > > Hi All, I woke up this morning to check my emails and come on

> here

> > > and I got an email from nada. I have changed my accounts and

my

> > > phone numbers and where I have lived and we have tried being

> > > unlisted and going n/c with everybody in my whole life and

> living

> > in

> > > a shell it doesn't work. I feel controlled and she gets worse,

I

> > > think being anonyms works great for some people but my nada

> turns

> > > into like a crazy caged mad man and she will try anything to

> hunt

> > me

> > > down and destroy me those are her words. So I just live my

life

> as

> > > normal as I can but really what is normal? Well anyways like I

> > said

> > > I am not hiding and my nada just wrote me an email today, I

have

> > to

> > > give her credit it was much less crazy than the rest, could

she

> be

> > > slowing down?….NAH! Maybe this is just another calm before the

> > > storm. She had the same old lines " This is my last time,

> > > unconditional love " " I am sick you would care

anyways " " Granny

> is

> > > hurt, your sister thinks she doesn't have a sister " " Your dad

> > can't

> > > take it anymore…your dad… " and btw my dad and I have been

> talking

> > > aside from this month we have been talking just fine! But she

> did

> > > throw in a new one and that surprised me " if you could forgive

I

> > > would start over today " Anyways would you all read it and

let

> me

> > > know what you think. I am tempted to ask my dad personally if

> this

> > > is how he feels and try to stop the triangulation but would

that

> > be

> > > stupid? Let me know your impute. And btw I talked to my sister

> > last

> > > spring when I dedicated her that song unwritten and she said

to

> me

> > > she was happy to hear from me and she said she was happy I

> > contacted

> > > her when I did because it showed her I cared. One other thing

> that

> > > surprised me was they said something about life insurance on

me?

> > > Well that is new to me what were they planning? Also I am sure

> her

> > > Kidneys almost did fail she has been struggling w/ them but by

> > fault

> > > of her own. Remember I said she has conversion reaction

formerly

> > > known as hysteria She really thinks she is sick and suffering

> with

> > > things that she does not suffer from. Like fake fainting, fake

> > > seizures fake tunnel vision. On top of it she has imaginary

back

> > > neck and shoulder pain but she really thinks she has it so she

> > > doctor hops and takes massive amounts of morphine and other

> strong

> > > drugs on a daily basis. The doctors were warning her years ago

> > when

> > > I was still there that this and other things could happen,

like

> > > addictions and rebound head aches. Well sorry about this being

> so

> > > long It really rocked my world I feel like a basket of nerves.

> > Sorry

> > > if I seem really on edge I am. You will have to pardon me.

> Thanks

> > > for reading this Love Lizzy Here is the letter.

> > >

> > > Dear Lizzy, I have a Graduation picture of your sister for you

> and

> > I

> > > also have your life insurance policy to send to you.(If you

want

> > it)

> > > Dad would like to have this stuff sent to you because the

> divided

> > > family has become too hard on him and he and I have lost hope

> that

> > > you and your husband will ever forgive and come back to be

part

> of

> > > the family. It has been just too depressing for Daddy and me

to

> > have

> > > to deal with any more. With both of his parents being sick and

> > with

> > > me almost dying this past summer daddy just can't handle any

> more

> > of

> > > this. I asked him to not tell you about me being so sick

because

> I

> > > knew that it would not matter to you because he tells me what

> you

> > > say about me and you probally would not have believed him any

> way

> > if

> > > he would have told you. I am back on my way to getting better

> each

> > > day but once your kidneys shut down it is a long haul back. I

> > would

> > > like to ask you to find it in your heart to let everything go

> and

> > > remember you have a family that loves you very much and misses

> you

> > > very much. This will be the last time I ask you to come back

to

> > our

> > > family because I just can't handle the hurt any more and It is

> > > something that I must just put out of my mind if it is never

> going

> > > to happen. It is really sad that so many people have been hurt

> > from

> > > this and that so many years have gone by with out any healing.

I

> > > want you and your husband to know that there has not been a

day

> > that

> > > has passed that I have not prayed for the two of you and your

> > > children. Dad and I have prayed each day for the restoration

of

> > our

> > > family and I have watched your sister as she has become an

> > > independent young woman that believes she no longer has a

> sister.

> > I

> > > guess this has gone on for so long there is not one of us that

> > ever

> > > believes that you will ever return. I just want you to know

that

> I

> > > have never quit loving you and your family and I will love you

> > until

> > > the day that I die. I have left letters for all of you just in

> > case

> > > that we never talk again. The letters will let each one of you

> > know

> > > how much I love you, and how sad that I am that we wasted all

of

> > > those years not talking and not fixing the things that were

> wrong.

> > I

> > > may not be perfect, but I do love you from the depth of my

soul

> > and

> > > I would do just about anything to have you back into our

family.

> I

> > > really miss my daughter. I try each day to hold on to the

> memories

> > > of how you were and I know that you are not the same girl that

> > left

> > > this home that terrible night. I realize that I don't even

know

> > you

> > > any more and you don't know me either. You don't know your

> sister

> > or

> > > your daddy any more either. Granny, who used to be one of your

> > > favorite people on the earth was thrown away by you and she

was

> > > extreamly hurt and does not understand why you did it. She

> > struggles

> > > with forgiving what happened to her. The only thing that

waiting

> > > this long to fix things has done is mess them up worse. If you

> > would

> > > like to repair all of the relationships I would love to start

> > right

> > > away on ours. My cell number is ******* Please feel free to

call

> > and

> > > I would love to see you again. If you can forgive I could

start

> > over

> > > today. My love for you is unconditional. I will never stop

> loving

> > > you. We all love you very much! Love, Mom

> > >

> >

>

October 6, 2006

Lizzy,

Wow! Look at all the FOG!

If I was you, I'd call my dad and tell him to go ahead and send the

stuff. Call your sister and ask if maybe she wants to do lunch or

something, if you're close enough, or just catch up if you're not. You

can reply to nada telling her to put it out of her mind, because

you're not changing yours, and block her address.

On the other hand, Greg was on to something when he said to ignore it.

You could always delete it and take a bubble bath!

Whatever you do, be strong. It will get easier. Sorry it's not right

now.

Neko Jaimie

October 6, 2006

Lizzy, being in another time zone, I'm comming to your post a little

later than everyone else. I've got to say, your nada sounded. .

..nearly sane in that letter. It was unnerving because that kind of

letter could come from a loving mother afraid of loosing a child BUT

in this case it comes from a historically mean and nasty one with

other motives. I don't know your whole story, but I do know that you

wouldn't be on this bord if you hadn't experienced a life long barrage

of random abuse, projections, rages etc. I agree with whoever pointed

out that she takes no responsibilty at all for HER part in the

problem. If she would do almost anything, why doesn't she go to

therapy and do something about her issues so she can stop abusing the

people she " loves? "

2 things struck me in the letter: First, my nada's favorite trick when

guilting me into something is to bring in how sad other people are.

She's ALWAYS lying. It's incredible how full of it she is and how

she'll bring in other people's hurt feelings(or made up ones) when she

wants to persuade me. Your nada was doing that big-time in her

letter. A truly sane person would not have needed to do that. A

truly sane, yet worried mom would have just told you you were loved

and invited you back--and hopefully offered appologies/explanations

where necessary.

Second: This letter reeks of a BP trying to remain " good " in her own

eyes. She's putting it all on you and trying to sound like she's the

nice, healthy and loving mother in all of this. Having her own child

stop contact with her is an indictment on her behavior and it's

probably got her feeling pretty freaked out. So she writes this

letter where she gets to make-believe that she's snow white. Blagh!

I think that in the true spirit of your NC, you would be wise to

delete her messages w/o reading them. On your email account, it may

be possible to have her emails go directly to a spam or other folder

that you don't ever look at and just delete once a month. I know that

when I'm freaking out about my nada all it takes is an email from her

or a message to send me reeling--whether I read/listen to it or not.

Anyway, if the point of being NC is to avoid quaking in your boots and

letting her get to you so you can heal, blocking her emails is a good

idea.

Trish

>

> Hi All, I woke up this morning to check my emails and come on here

> and I got an email from nada. I have changed my accounts and my

> phone numbers and where I have lived and we have tried being

> unlisted and going n/c with everybody in my whole life and living in

> a shell it doesn't work. I feel controlled and she gets worse, I

> think being anonyms works great for some people but my nada turns

> into like a crazy caged mad man and she will try anything to hunt me