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Maureen

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Goodmorning....

I wrote you a nice long letter yesterday and was just about to finish and send when we lost electricty...Damn...lost everything...and by the time it came back on I was too busy doing many other things...so I will try to get this one out....

I certainly hope that you never have to experience such a scene again....must have been terrifying for everyone....Unfortunately I have no real smart ideas for you situation though...My mind just seems to come up with these things when we are in a crisis....I think it works better under pressure....maybe not better but wierdier..if that is even a word....

I was talking to on Wed...his 23rd birthday...and I asked him if he remembered the event.....He said it is something he will never forget..Said it is strange how tramactic things stck in your mind...and then we started to laugh about what I had done so many years ago and how we still find humor in something that could have scarred him for life...instead we laugh together over it....He then asked me about the neighbors thinking I must have been nuts or something...I told him my concern is not what they thought of me but to save him....We all kind of have a sick sense of humor...My daughter is the only one who really has a hard time with both the boys having health problems...I think in one way its because from a young age she has watched both her younger brothers go thru so much and being a female (like us moms) feeling lost at how to help...and I think some might be from guilt that she has none of their problems....My husband and I used to joke about the fact that Thank God she was not one of the ones who had to go thru all this...She is a real chicken when it comes to doctors....once she had to get her finger pricked..for a blood test...She didn't cry but she so freaked that she would not bleed....the doctor was doing everything to make her bleed....was really pretty funny...But now she wants to be the live donor for Ty....I know in her heart which is sweet and pure that is what she wants to do...but I am not sure how she will do with the actual surgery and recovery....She has never been really been sick....just the common stuff....

I also don't know how I will handle both of them in the hosp with such serious stuff going on....Hopefully it will not have to come to that.....

How is this weather for your allergies....The only thing Dani..(my daughter) has is alleries to oak trees when they are budding...She lives in Chicago so I figured she wouldn't have a hard time...But both her apartment and her office are aon tree lined side streets...so she is having some congestion....once the leaves are out she gets better....

Well I want to send this before something stupid happens here again....and I loose this....

Take care....

Luanne Ty's mom

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Something just came to me....for the hopefully NOT next time....

grab small child or cat and place in your lap...Blame it on them....LOL

Not great but better than nothing....

If they are not available...get your husband to sit on your lap....blame him....anything but you.....LOL...

Luanne Ty's mom

PS...don't tell your husband I said this....

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Hey Maureen...

All these Taurus sons....and my husbands birthday was the 28th...what a bunch of BULL.......

Dani has decided to finally get to the doctor....she is still feeling bad and her job is very demanding...so hopefully they will be able to give her something to make her feel better....

I have a counsin who as a kid lived in Florida and suffered from asthma...when she got older she became a "Dead Head"...follower of the Grateful Dead....when she got out to Denver area she couldn't believe how great she felt...she is now 30 and has lived out there for a couple of years....and really has no problems....Not sure why because they still have flowers and trees but maybe the high altitude has something to do with it....

No surprises from you.....stay feeling good and breathing....

By the way how is Jim....we get carried away sometimes and forget all about poor Jim...just don't tell him....LOL....

Have a nice day...

Luanne Ty's mom

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  • 4 weeks later...
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Maureen,

I am neither- wise or kind. You said, “if one uses the marriage bed as the measuring

stick. i don't.” Ok, if you don’t use the marriage bed as a measuring stick why

Are you constantly

complaining about it? For crying

out loud the guy has a fatal

Disease, he’s facing

death, he doesn’t feel well, and all you do is bitch cause your

Not getting any! I think you should rethink the vows you

took. “For better or worse,

In sickness and in health.” And you better damn well think about

all the spouses

In this group who have

lost their partners. Spring, Steve, Lynn, Denver. I dare say

They would give anything

to just “see” their soul mates one more time. Sex is important

But you better get off the

pity pot by yourself and start thinking about someone else for a change. Grow

up! He’s sick, and doesn’t feel

like it.

And yes, this is Barb in Texas.

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Barb,

I think you are being harsh. It isn't about sex. Its about

reciprocal appreciation and recognizing and meeting your

partner's emotional needs. Reaching out and holding hands - a

hug - a hand on the shoulder are surely things that a person

that can remodel a house is still be capable of doing. These

little things can be very uplifting when there and a real downer

when they never seem to come.

Tim R

__________________________________________________

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>>it HAS to be that he's dealing with so much mentally, how

he withdraws into

>>himself, chooses

the silent road... and let's not forget he probably feels

>>pretty rotten

physically, pretty much all of the time. i wouldn't want to

>>be in his shoes.

Maureen

Yes, this is

exactly what you should be thinking, (guess my post helped!) why didn’t you say

that first? Don’t you think he

knows that he is letting everyone down?

Don’t you think he regrets not being able to do things around the house

like he used to? Not be “up” to

doing things for and with you and the kids? Not earning as much money?

How many times has any person with PSC

said: “I’m sorry?” I’m sorry you

have to wait while I have these tests, sorry you have to drive me. Sorry you have to take care of me.

Sorry I can’t stay up and watch TV with you. Sorry you worked so long on this meal

and I don’t feel like eating it. Sorry you have to sit with me for hours in the

E.R. Sorry you are so worried. Sorry

I just don’t feel like it.

You may of course

feel any way you like. For me, I don’t feel like I have a right to complain

about one single thing. How can I when it is THEY who are going through so much

more then any person should? Someone

telling you to pull yourself up by your boot-straps is not the end of the

world. Sympathy didn’t work the last time.

>>> because i spend a great deal of my time in this support group

trying to encourage others, (something you are loathe to do, it seems...

Your 100% right. I never have a kind

word, I’m never supportive, so now what?

I am as

always Barb in Texas.

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