Re: Re: 1st post... help coping with bpd mother She is k...

[Guest guest]

I can completely relate to what u are saying. In Jan. & Feb. my dad was in

the hospital (full 2 months). I gave up my business to care for him and

nada. I was driving from 60 to 80 miles every day, going to the hospital to

feed

and care for dad 2 or 3 times a day; going to nada's twice a day; getting

her groceries, prescriptions, whatever she needed; crusing by my own home to

let my 5 dogs out, cooking my husband dinner, etc................everything.

When I'd stop by nada's, there was not even a " hello " from her. It was to

give me my grocery list, she only cared about her needs. I'd return with the

groceries, and I'd hear: " this isn't what I ordered!!!!!!!! " I thought I

would smack her right across the room. You see, my dad had actually died in

the

hospital, somehow they brought him back, and was on his death bed most of the

time he was in the hospital. Here I am, running around completely

neglecting my own needs, and not even a " thank you " .

At one point I looked at nada and said " you do realize your husband, my

father, is dieing in the hospital don't you? " Her behavior was truely

unbelievable. Talk about self-obsorbed!

Well, a month into this madness, my brother came here from out of state to

help me. I couldn't keep up at this pace. Needed help. He stayed to help me

with the hospital " shifts " for about 10 days. Do you know all I heard was

what a wonderful son they have!!!!! Don't know what we would have done

without HIM!!!!!! Never even as much as a thank you did I receive.

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I now carry with me THE SERENITY PRAYER. I keep it by the phone also.

The saying " time heals all wounds " does not apply when dealing with BPD's.

It's an ongoing cycle of craziness; seems like we're always having to bury

our pain, and bite out tounge.

good luck, hang in there. Set limits!

Lee

************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com

[Guest guest]

I wouldn't give a BPD book to nada. I recently confronted her, calmly and

gently, about some of her name calling and " antics " , and she immediately went

on the defensive and is presently on a hate campaign against me. To say the

least, it's been emotionally devastating for my dad and I.

I would suggest just setting limits and boundries for yourself. You

CANNOT change them! They have to want to get help themselves.

good luck

************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com