how we think about money

[Guest guest]

I'm sorry about your money woes, but glad that you were able to prove

to yourself that you can earn a living. That is an achievement to be

proud of, as well as the PhD.

I was thinking about your question, whether worrying about money is a

PTSD symptom after surviving a BPD. It's an interesting thought that

I've wondered about myself. My husband and I have polar opposite

attitudes about money, in some ways. He's constantly afraid we won't

have enough, and I just don't think about it much, relying on our

ability to earn our own way. I don't spend like a madwoman, but if I

need something, I tend to buy it. But he'll sometimes ask me not to

buy anything (other than food) until one of us gets our paycheck,

usually in a few days or so. I'm cool with that, but it just kind of

indicates his anxiety.

On my part, I tend to blithely ignore our finances. It's one of my

fleas, I think: ignoring things I find onerous or burdensome until

they get too hard to handle and then I am overwhelmed.

Part of the problem is that I've been unwell with adrenal fatigue for

a long time, so a lot of our money goes to vitamins and supplements,

and naturopathic doctor bills. His biggest concern is having enough

money to pay for all the things I need to improve my health. His

second cause for concern is not having any family to rely on in case

of emergency . His mom is BPD like my mom, and his dad is a

self-absorbed, selfish person who tends to lie (also BPD? possible

dishrag dad?). Of course, I assume a priori that my mom will not be

there for me ever (as has been the case in the past) despite her

nearly $300K in savings.

Hence, money can be an issue at times.

Anyone else notice an unusual attitude towards money in their lives?

qwerty

>

> I had always had the idea that I would be taken care of by a man who

earned more money than I did. Thanks mom. The past year was awful (I

was actually earning less money than I did as a graduate

student...with a PhD...) but now I am on my feet and have a real job

with a real salary. I still worry about money all the time (is this

some kind of post-trauma?)<