Re: Vent and Advice

[Guest guest]

Janie,

You really hit home why we have opted to stay at home every year for

Christmas since our oldest was born (actually we went home the first

Christmas when he was 3 mos old and have subsequently been 'punished'

since then for not going home). I have NO DESIRE whatsoever to even

remotely cross the potential bridge of having my kids feel like crap

the same way I always did growing up or to have this scenario w/your

inlaws pretty much telling your kids that they don't mean squat. How

sad for your kids and yet how truly bpdish of your SIL and even

brother and I would put the greater weight on your siblings in these

situations since they are the blood relatives that allow this to

happen.

While nothing extraordinary has happened the last two Christmases we

spent w/the FOO, I just saw the potential and decided we'd be better

off setting our own new traditions. We see a lot of friends who are

more like family than our own family and I'm grateful for that. A lot

of them don't have family here either and so its a perfect match and

my kids do know its a special time of the year and learn the true

meaning of giving around people who genuinely don't have strings

attached and tricks up their sleeves. Actually now that I'm writing

this, I COMPLETELY understand why I loved the movie 'The Nightmare

Before Christmas' when it came out when I was in my early 20s. That's

so what it was like around our house at Christmas- more like

Halloween- no real treats, but lots of tricks:p

Kerrie

>

> Greg,

> (By the way, the earlier double post, is because my screen froze

after

> the first one, and it appeared to be lost. Not trying to repeat

myself

> haha.)

>

> Ohhhhhh, sounds like a charming Christmas. (Shudder) But for your

> nephews, I'm sure it was such a nice thing to have you there!

>

> Our SILs are quite similar in another way. She, too, is from a

culture

> that doesn't celebrate Christmas. The first--and last--Xmas we spent

> " with " them was as follows:

>

> We woke up Xmas morning (at our home). Our kids opened presents,

then

> we all piled in the car for the three-hour drive to their place.

Kids

> were so excited to be seeing their cousins--they didn't even mind

> leaving their toys and making the long drive.

>

> We got there, and within half an hour, SIL took " her " husband and

kids

> to her family's place. Her family doesn't do Christmas! They don't

> give a rip about Christmas! She sees her family several times a

week.

> And yet she left us there alone, on Christmas day. Our kids were

> horribly disappointed, and absolutely didn't understand why their

> cousins had to visit their " other " cousins (whom they see every

week)

> and not them, who had traveled a long way just to see them.

>

> They never came back until well into the night. So we spent Xmas in

a

> deserted house--with very sad kids and nothing for dinner! I

scrounged

> for something to make them, but it was not a " Xmas dinner " type

thing.

> It was so horrible, it was almost comic. I mean, even by SIL's

> standards, this was especially outrageous, and DH and I couldn't

> believe she really did it (nor could we believe that brother had

gone

> along with it--another " brother who needs to grow some balls " ). But

I

> was really angry on behalf of my kids. It's like, they valued

driving

> a long way to see their cousins above staying at home and playing

with

> their toys. And in return, they got the message (via their aunt)

that

> their visit was utterly worthless.

>

> I certainly am not surprised you want to stay in Seattle after the

> Xmas you had.

>

> Janie (hoping the screen does not freeze again)

>