School Anxiety and Affirmations

[Guest guest]

I found the recent postings about school anxiety to be really

helpful. I started graduate school and along with working and dealing

with my recent NC with FOO and their distortion campaigns that I am a

ticking stress bomb. I am recently a new high school teacher and I

find that lately I am so sensitive to the smallest incidents

dealing with disruptive students that I feel so vulnerable and under

attack. My nerves are so raw and it seems really difficult to manage

the simpliest tasks/emotions. I recently finished UBM by

Lawson. While it was extremely validating, I was left heart broken

and drained, recognizing sooooooo much that resembled my own

experiences. I recently bought Melody Beattie's Beyond Codependency

and The Language of Letting Go and these books are So HELPFUL!! These

books are helping me survive this recovery process and takes what I

recognize as FLEAS and BPD traits and helps me find the way to

overcome learned behaviors and to accept and know that I am right

where I should be in life and that all of this is a recovery

process.I think as a KO that I don't seem to know the simpliest forms

of self care and these books(which I discovered from reading older

posts from this group)are showing me the way along with my therapist.

This is hard work, it hurts, but I know I am on the right path. I am

grateful to everyone who posts. Sharing your experiences have helped

me and I don't feel alone anymore. Does anyone have any suggestions

for any other books that might be helpful? I have read Toxic Parent

and SWOE. Thank you!

[Guest guest]

Melody Beattie is seriously next on my reading list!! A friend highly

recommended her and I've been meaning to pick up some of her books, so thanks

for the reminder! Self-care is a major issue for me right now, as is the issue

of co-dependency because I've realized I have the totally common KO problem of

always putting others needs first. I've also been reading through some Al-Anon

literature -- replacing BPD for alcoholism -- and have found it VERY helpful.

I'm putting off reading UBM for now, though. The excerpt posted here a

few days ago was incredible -- SO powerful -- I must've read it through ten

times that day.

I just feel like, for a while, I want to stop reading about el Nada and her

illness and start focusing more on me and how I can take care of myself better

here in the present, if that makes sense...

Anyhow, I don't know if you've read " Surviving the Borderline Parent, " but

that's a good one too!

Shana

School Anxiety and Affirmations

To: WTOAdultChildren1

> I found the recent postings about school anxiety to be really

> helpful. I started graduate school and along with working and

> dealing

> with my recent NC with FOO and their distortion campaigns that I

> am a

> ticking stress bomb. I am recently a new high school teacher and

> I

> find that lately I am so sensitive to the smallest incidents

> dealing with disruptive students that I feel so vulnerable and

> under

> attack. My nerves are so raw and it seems really difficult to

> manage

> the simpliest tasks/emotions. I recently finished UBM by

>

> Lawson. While it was extremely validating, I was left heart

> broken

> and drained, recognizing sooooooo much that resembled my own

> experiences. I recently bought Melody Beattie's Beyond

> Codependency

> and The Language of Letting Go and these books are So HELPFUL!!

> These

> books are helping me survive this recovery process and takes

> what I

> recognize as FLEAS and BPD traits and helps me find the way to

> overcome learned behaviors and to accept and know that I am

> right

> where I should be in life and that all of this is a recovery

> process.I think as a KO that I don't seem to know the simpliest

> forms

> of self care and these books(which I discovered from reading

> older

> posts from this group)are showing me the way along with my

> therapist.

> This is hard work, it hurts, but I know I am on the right path.

> I am

> grateful to everyone who posts. Sharing your experiences have

> helped

> me and I don't feel alone anymore. Does anyone have any

> suggestions

> for any other books that might be helpful? I have read Toxic

> Parent

> and SWOE. Thank you!

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

, I also started teaching high school at a time when I was

also dealing with the BPD in my family (and realizing it's existance).

That's a very tough combination. I found that I felt really

sensitive and around high school students that's not always ideal.

Besides, normal adolescent behavior is sometimes very reminiscent of

BP-adult behavior (black and white thinking, raging, distortion of

reality etc.). It's not an easy combination and I'm glad that you're

getting the help you need. Also, I had a pretty negative experience

with UBM. It was interesting and I learned a lot, but I feel that the

language of the book and the way the information was presented was

kind of anxiety ridden and dramatic. I don't think that's really the

kind of tone I needed when I was first learning about BPD! I felt

hugely stressed at that book--although the info was valuable.

Trish

>

> I found the recent postings about school anxiety to be really

> helpful. I started graduate school and along with working and dealing

> with my recent NC with FOO and their distortion campaigns that I am a

> ticking stress bomb. I am recently a new high school teacher and I

> find that lately I am so sensitive to the smallest incidents

> dealing with disruptive students that I feel so vulnerable and under

> attack. My nerves are so raw and it seems really difficult to manage

> the simpliest tasks/emotions. I recently finished UBM by

> Lawson. While it was extremely validating, I was left heart broken

> and drained, recognizing sooooooo much that resembled my own

> experiences. I recently bought Melody Beattie's Beyond Codependency

> and The Language of Letting Go and these books are So HELPFUL!! These

> books are helping me survive this recovery process and takes what I

> recognize as FLEAS and BPD traits and helps me find the way to

> overcome learned behaviors and to accept and know that I am right

> where I should be in life and that all of this is a recovery

> process.I think as a KO that I don't seem to know the simpliest forms

> of self care and these books(which I discovered from reading older

> posts from this group)are showing me the way along with my therapist.

> This is hard work, it hurts, but I know I am on the right path. I am

> grateful to everyone who posts. Sharing your experiences have helped

> me and I don't feel alone anymore. Does anyone have any suggestions

> for any other books that might be helpful? I have read Toxic Parent

> and SWOE. Thank you!

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Shana. Someone also recommended to me Alnon and ACoA, Adult

Children of Alcoholics. Your post reminded me too and after reading

it I went to both websites and found a lot of similarities with being

raised by a BPD parent. My nada went through phases of substance

abuse, alcohol, prescription medication,and so on. From UBM I found

my nada to be a Waif/Witch. I want to get

Surviving a Borderline Parent, but like you, REALLY need to take a

break, absorb what I have learned so far, and concentrate on taking

care of myself. UBM is a wonderful book but it was really unsettling

to recognize so much of what I experienced and to also really begin

to understand my FLEAS. I definitely need to learn to stay present

and not feel like a selfish person putting myself as my number one

priority. Thanks again,

>

> Melody Beattie is seriously next on my reading list!! A friend

highly recommended her and I've been meaning to pick up some of her

books, so thanks for the reminder! Self-care is a major issue for me

right now, as is the issue of co-dependency because I've realized I

have the totally common KO problem of always putting others needs

first. I've also been reading through some Al-Anon literature --

replacing BPD for alcoholism -- and have found it VERY helpful.

>

> I'm putting off reading UBM for now, though. The excerpt

posted here a few days ago was incredible -- SO powerful -- I must've

read it through ten times that day.

>

> I just feel like, for a while, I want to stop reading about el Nada

and her illness and start focusing more on me and how I can take care

of myself better here in the present, if that makes sense...

>

> Anyhow, I don't know if you've read " Surviving the Borderline

Parent, " but that's a good one too!

>

> Shana

>

> School Anxiety and Affirmations

> To: WTOAdultChildren1

>

> > I found the recent postings about school anxiety to be really

> > helpful. I started graduate school and along with working and

> > dealing

> > with my recent NC with FOO and their distortion campaigns that I

> > am a

> > ticking stress bomb. I am recently a new high school teacher and

> > I

> > find that lately I am so sensitive to the smallest incidents

> > dealing with disruptive students that I feel so vulnerable and

> > under

> > attack. My nerves are so raw and it seems really difficult to

> > manage

> > the simpliest tasks/emotions. I recently finished UBM by

> >

> > Lawson. While it was extremely validating, I was left heart

> > broken

> > and drained, recognizing sooooooo much that resembled my own

> > experiences. I recently bought Melody Beattie's Beyond

> > Codependency

> > and The Language of Letting Go and these books are So HELPFUL!!

> > These

> > books are helping me survive this recovery process and takes

> > what I

> > recognize as FLEAS and BPD traits and helps me find the way to

> > overcome learned behaviors and to accept and know that I am

> > right

> > where I should be in life and that all of this is a recovery

> > process.I think as a KO that I don't seem to know the simpliest

> > forms

> > of self care and these books(which I discovered from reading

> > older

> > posts from this group)are showing me the way along with my

> > therapist.

> > This is hard work, it hurts, but I know I am on the right path.

> > I am

> > grateful to everyone who posts. Sharing your experiences have

> > helped

> > me and I don't feel alone anymore. Does anyone have any

> > suggestions

> > for any other books that might be helpful? I have read Toxic

> > Parent

> > and SWOE. Thank you!

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Trish. I felt exactly the same way after reading UBM. It is a

wonderfully validating book but really triggered a lot of self-hate

and

anger towards myself, Foo, and just the plain fact of this being my

reality and the long road ahead. The hardest part is accepting my

FLEAS. I really identified with the traits associated with the

HERMIT. I have a tendency to avoid people and isolate myself. I think

it is my way of controlling my environment and not having to worry

what people think about me. Sometimes, or lately MOST of the time, I

would rather just be with my

two cats and lose myself in good book. I am conditioned to believe

everyone can see my defects and I walk into situations assuming

people will not like me. Nada conditioning I suppose. Interviewing

for a teaching position was extremely tramatic for me. I don't do

well with rejection or selling myself. Dealing with finding a job,

going NC with FOO, and nada's distortion campaign felt like a chisel

and hammer chipping away at all

of my courage and self-worth. Reading about your experiences and

others has given me courage to find my way. Thanks,

> >

> > I found the recent postings about school anxiety to be really

> > helpful. I started graduate school and along with working and

dealing

> > with my recent NC with FOO and their distortion campaigns that I

am a

> > ticking stress bomb. I am recently a new high school teacher and

I

> > find that lately I am so sensitive to the smallest incidents

> > dealing with disruptive students that I feel so vulnerable and

under

> > attack. My nerves are so raw and it seems really difficult to

manage

> > the simpliest tasks/emotions. I recently finished UBM by

> > Lawson. While it was extremely validating, I was left heart

broken

> > and drained, recognizing sooooooo much that resembled my own

> > experiences. I recently bought Melody Beattie's Beyond

Codependency

> > and The Language of Letting Go and these books are So HELPFUL!!

These

> > books are helping me survive this recovery process and takes what

I

> > recognize as FLEAS and BPD traits and helps me find the way to

> > overcome learned behaviors and to accept and know that I am right

> > where I should be in life and that all of this is a recovery

> > process.I think as a KO that I don't seem to know the simpliest

forms

> > of self care and these books(which I discovered from reading

older

> > posts from this group)are showing me the way along with my

therapist.

> > This is hard work, it hurts, but I know I am on the right path. I

am

> > grateful to everyone who posts. Sharing your experiences have

helped

> > me and I don't feel alone anymore. Does anyone have any

suggestions

> > for any other books that might be helpful? I have read Toxic

Parent

> > and SWOE. Thank you!

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I have free time during Thanksgiving for healing and educational

reading of BPD books, I was wondering if you would recommend

regement of books, like SWOE or UBM? And at what pace should I read

these (which to start with mid-way breakups all the way to the

hardest material)?

Thank you,

> > >

> > > I found the recent postings about school anxiety to be really

> > > helpful. I started graduate school and along with working and

> dealing

> > > with my recent NC with FOO and their distortion campaigns that

I

> am a

> > > ticking stress bomb. I am recently a new high school teacher

and

> I

> > > find that lately I am so sensitive to the smallest incidents

> > > dealing with disruptive students that I feel so vulnerable and

> under

> > > attack. My nerves are so raw and it seems really difficult to

> manage

> > > the simpliest tasks/emotions. I recently finished UBM by

>

> > > Lawson. While it was extremely validating, I was left heart

> broken

> > > and drained, recognizing sooooooo much that resembled my own

> > > experiences. I recently bought Melody Beattie's Beyond

> Codependency

> > > and The Language of Letting Go and these books are So

HELPFUL!!

> These

> > > books are helping me survive this recovery process and takes

what

> I

> > > recognize as FLEAS and BPD traits and helps me find the way to

> > > overcome learned behaviors and to accept and know that I am

right

> > > where I should be in life and that all of this is a recovery

> > > process.I think as a KO that I don't seem to know the

simpliest

> forms

> > > of self care and these books(which I discovered from reading

> older

> > > posts from this group)are showing me the way along with my

> therapist.

> > > This is hard work, it hurts, but I know I am on the right

path. I

> am

> > > grateful to everyone who posts. Sharing your experiences have

> helped

> > > me and I don't feel alone anymore. Does anyone have any

> suggestions

> > > for any other books that might be helpful? I have read Toxic

> Parent

> > > and SWOE. Thank you!

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Reading about what you are going through and all of the pressures of

college readings and assignments allow yourself time to just sleep,

have fun, and relax at Thanksgiving. It is really a short holiday and

most schools have finals right after. I graduated with my B.S. last

December and can relate to being in the final stretch of your

undergraduate career. Good Luck to you! It is a huge accomplishment

and you should be extremely proud of yourself. I don't think there is

a specific pace or order in which to read any of these books. Last

Spring I first stumbled across a used copy of Toxic Parent by

Forward at a book fair. It lead me to Stop Walking on Eggshells by

Randi Kreger(and lead me to this group) and then just recently

Understanding the Borderline Personality Mother by Lawson,

which I read in the last few weeks. All of these books are great at

recognizing and identifying what we have been through, but for me

were really emotionally difficult to get through. The two books

helping me get through the daily emotions are Melody Beattie's Beyond

Codependency and The Language of Letting Go. For me it really helps

to look at my progress as recovery and these books talk about self-

care and affirmations. Until recently it never occurred to me to

think of myself as a codependent when dealing with FOO and nada, but

to me it makes sense. The Language of Letting Go is a daily

meditation book and gives you something to different to think about

each day. It helps a lot in between the appointments I have with my

therapist and the meditations are very brief, so it isn't a lot of

reading. Even though I am NC with nada, I still need to constantly

work on my negative thinking and look at it as reprogramming my

brain! I hope this helps and the wonderful thing about books is that

they speak differently to each person and there is so much to choose

from. I did a lot of looking at bookstores and on Amazon.com before

buying. I hope this helps!

> > > >

> > > > I found the recent postings about school anxiety to be really

> > > > helpful. I started graduate school and along with working and

> > dealing

> > > > with my recent NC with FOO and their distortion campaigns

that

> I

> > am a

> > > > ticking stress bomb. I am recently a new high school teacher

> and

> > I

> > > > find that lately I am so sensitive to the smallest incidents

> > > > dealing with disruptive students that I feel so vulnerable

and

> > under

> > > > attack. My nerves are so raw and it seems really difficult to

> > manage

> > > > the simpliest tasks/emotions. I recently finished UBM by

> >

> > > > Lawson. While it was extremely validating, I was left heart

> > broken

> > > > and drained, recognizing sooooooo much that resembled my own

> > > > experiences. I recently bought Melody Beattie's Beyond

> > Codependency

> > > > and The Language of Letting Go and these books are So

> HELPFUL!!

> > These

> > > > books are helping me survive this recovery process and takes

> what

> > I

> > > > recognize as FLEAS and BPD traits and helps me find the way

to

> > > > overcome learned behaviors and to accept and know that I am

> right

> > > > where I should be in life and that all of this is a recovery

> > > > process.I think as a KO that I don't seem to know the

> simpliest

> > forms

> > > > of self care and these books(which I discovered from reading

> > older

> > > > posts from this group)are showing me the way along with my

> > therapist.

> > > > This is hard work, it hurts, but I know I am on the right

> path. I

> > am

> > > > grateful to everyone who posts. Sharing your experiences have

> > helped

> > > > me and I don't feel alone anymore. Does anyone have any

> > suggestions

> > > > for any other books that might be helpful? I have read Toxic

> > Parent

> > > > and SWOE. Thank you!

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

The Artist Way is a wonderful book you might want to put on your list

for later. It is a 12 week program to rediscover your inner

creativity. I think it is especially relevant for KOs as Foos seem to

try to drive the creativity right out of you. It has been life

changing for me. It's not about bpd, but you can tell she knows a few.

There is one part where she describes " crazymakers " and there is no

doubt she is describing bpd types.

Fresabird

> I have free time during Thanksgiving for healing and educational

> reading of BPD books, I was wondering if you would recommend

> regement of books, like SWOE or UBM? And at what pace should I read

> these (which to start with mid-way breakups all the way to the

> hardest material)?

>

> Thank you,

>

>

>

>

> > > >

> > > > I found the recent postings about school anxiety to be really

> > > > helpful. I started graduate school and along with working and

> > dealing

> > > > with my recent NC with FOO and their distortion campaigns that

> I

> > am a

> > > > ticking stress bomb. I am recently a new high school teacher

> and

> > I

> > > > find that lately I am so sensitive to the smallest incidents

> > > > dealing with disruptive students that I feel so vulnerable and

> > under

> > > > attack. My nerves are so raw and it seems really difficult to

> > manage

> > > > the simpliest tasks/emotions. I recently finished UBM by

> >

> > > > Lawson. While it was extremely validating, I was left heart

> > broken

> > > > and drained, recognizing sooooooo much that resembled my own

> > > > experiences. I recently bought Melody Beattie's Beyond

> > Codependency

> > > > and The Language of Letting Go and these books are So

> HELPFUL!!

> > These

> > > > books are helping me survive this recovery process and takes

> what

> > I

> > > > recognize as FLEAS and BPD traits and helps me find the way to

> > > > overcome learned behaviors and to accept and know that I am

> right

> > > > where I should be in life and that all of this is a recovery

> > > > process.I think as a KO that I don't seem to know the

> simpliest

> > forms

> > > > of self care and these books(which I discovered from reading

> > older

> > > > posts from this group)are showing me the way along with my

> > therapist.

> > > > This is hard work, it hurts, but I know I am on the right

> path. I

> > am

> > > > grateful to everyone who posts. Sharing your experiences have

> > helped

> > > > me and I don't feel alone anymore. Does anyone have any

> > suggestions

> > > > for any other books that might be helpful? I have read Toxic

> > Parent

> > > > and SWOE. Thank you!

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

, if you're interested in doing reading about this stuff and money's a

concern, I just wanted to let you know about a site called ABE books (American

Book Exchange) that sells new, used and even hard-to-find books from independent

sellers WAY cheap! (I just ordered two Melody Beattie books yesterday, for

example, and it came to $8 with shipping). The link is www.abebooks.com

And , I can really relate to where you are now and find a lot of

validation and insight from reading your postings -- so regardless of what your

low-self-esteem fleas might be telling you, I'm really glad that you're posting

here and sharing your experience!

Shana

Re: School Anxiety and Affirmations

To: WTOAdultChildren1

> Hi ,

>

> Reading about what you are going through and all of the

> pressures of

> college readings and assignments allow yourself time to just

> sleep,

> have fun, and relax at Thanksgiving. It is really a short

> holiday and

> most schools have finals right after. I graduated with my B.S.

> last

> December and can relate to being in the final stretch of your

> undergraduate career. Good Luck to you! It is a huge

> accomplishment

> and you should be extremely proud of yourself. I don't think

> there is

> a specific pace or order in which to read any of these books.

> Last

> Spring I first stumbled across a used copy of Toxic Parent by

>

> Forward at a book fair. It lead me to Stop Walking on Eggshells

> by

> Randi Kreger(and lead me to this group) and then just recently

> Understanding the Borderline Personality Mother by

> Lawson,

> which I read in the last few weeks. All of these books are great

> at

> recognizing and identifying what we have been through, but for

> me

> were really emotionally difficult to get through. The two books

> helping me get through the daily emotions are Melody Beattie's

> Beyond

> Codependency and The Language of Letting Go. For me it really

> helps

> to look at my progress as recovery and these books talk about

> self-

> care and affirmations. Until recently it never occurred to me to

> think of myself as a codependent when dealing with FOO and nada,

> but

> to me it makes sense. The Language of Letting Go is a daily

> meditation book and gives you something to different to think

> about

> each day. It helps a lot in between the appointments I have with

> my

> therapist and the meditations are very brief, so it isn't a lot

> of

> reading. Even though I am NC with nada, I still need to

> constantly

> work on my negative thinking and look at it as reprogramming my

> brain! I hope this helps and the wonderful thing about books is

> that

> they speak differently to each person and there is so much to

> choose

> from. I did a lot of looking at bookstores and on Amazon.com

> before

> buying. I hope this helps!

>

> > > > >

> > > > > I found the recent postings about school anxiety to be

> really

> > > > > helpful. I started graduate school and along with

> working and

> > > dealing

> > > > > with my recent NC with FOO and their distortion

> campaigns

> that

> > I

> > > am a

> > > > > ticking stress bomb. I am recently a new high school

> teacher

> > and

> > > I

> > > > > find that lately I am so sensitive to the smallest

> incidents

> > > > > dealing with disruptive students that I feel so

> vulnerable

> and

> > > under

> > > > > attack. My nerves are so raw and it seems really

> difficult to

> > > manage

> > > > > the simpliest tasks/emotions. I recently finished UBM by

> > >

> > > > > Lawson. While it was extremely validating, I was left

> heart

> > > broken

> > > > > and drained, recognizing sooooooo much that resembled my

> own

> > > > > experiences. I recently bought Melody Beattie's Beyond

> > > Codependency

> > > > > and The Language of Letting Go and these books are So

> > HELPFUL!!

> > > These

> > > > > books are helping me survive this recovery process and

> takes

> > what

> > > I

> > > > > recognize as FLEAS and BPD traits and helps me find the

> way

> to

> > > > > overcome learned behaviors and to accept and know that I

> am

> > right

> > > > > where I should be in life and that all of this is a

> recovery

> > > > > process.I think as a KO that I don't seem to know the

> > simpliest

> > > forms

> > > > > of self care and these books(which I discovered from

> reading

> > > older

> > > > > posts from this group)are showing me the way along with

> my

> > > therapist.

> > > > > This is hard work, it hurts, but I know I am on the

> right

> > path. I

> > > am

> > > > > grateful to everyone who posts. Sharing your experiences

> have

> > > helped

> > > > > me and I don't feel alone anymore. Does anyone have any

> > > suggestions

> > > > > for any other books that might be helpful? I have read

> Toxic

> > > Parent

> > > > > and SWOE. Thank you!

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

, Freeasabird and all, I second that, The Artist's Way is a great

workbook for getting out from under the self-criticism and get back in

touch with yourself after a lifetime of BP proximity!

Trish

> > > > >

> > > > > I found the recent postings about school anxiety to be really

> > > > > helpful. I started graduate school and along with working and

> > > dealing

> > > > > with my recent NC with FOO and their distortion campaigns that

> > I

> > > am a

> > > > > ticking stress bomb. I am recently a new high school teacher

> > and

> > > I

> > > > > find that lately I am so sensitive to the smallest incidents

> > > > > dealing with disruptive students that I feel so vulnerable and

> > > under

> > > > > attack. My nerves are so raw and it seems really difficult to

> > > manage

> > > > > the simpliest tasks/emotions. I recently finished UBM by

> > >

> > > > > Lawson. While it was extremely validating, I was left heart

> > > broken

> > > > > and drained, recognizing sooooooo much that resembled my own

> > > > > experiences. I recently bought Melody Beattie's Beyond

> > > Codependency

> > > > > and The Language of Letting Go and these books are So

> > HELPFUL!!

> > > These

> > > > > books are helping me survive this recovery process and takes

> > what

> > > I

> > > > > recognize as FLEAS and BPD traits and helps me find the way to

> > > > > overcome learned behaviors and to accept and know that I am

> > right

> > > > > where I should be in life and that all of this is a recovery

> > > > > process.I think as a KO that I don't seem to know the

> > simpliest

> > > forms

> > > > > of self care and these books(which I discovered from reading

> > > older

> > > > > posts from this group)are showing me the way along with my

> > > therapist.

> > > > > This is hard work, it hurts, but I know I am on the right

> > path. I

> > > am

> > > > > grateful to everyone who posts. Sharing your experiences have

> > > helped

> > > > > me and I don't feel alone anymore. Does anyone have any

> > > suggestions

> > > > > for any other books that might be helpful? I have read Toxic

> > > Parent

> > > > > and SWOE. Thank you!

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

>