Re: Hard core boundary setting!

September 27, 2006

Good job! The only thing I would add is that you don't need to

justify it by saying it's due to your husband working at home. My

husband doesn't work at home, but that situation would be

unacceptable to me as well. Anyone in their home deserves peace and

quiet.

It just seems that you're justifying a basic right by blaming it on

your husband being at home, when it really doesn't matter who's

home -- they deserve to be undisturbed.

>

> Yesterday I did some hard core boundary setting with my neighbor

> lady. Her children still have not stopped this ~insane~ door bell

> ringing and screaming! The day before she sent them to " invite " me

> to her party by having them shout at my doorstep and ring the bell

> the whole 10 minutes I was in the shower. I put a towel and robe

on

> answered the door and instructed them they were not allowed to

> holler at my door and ring the bell like that. I took the invite

and

> threw it in the trash that was no way to be invited to a party!

> Then I got he kids ready and went to bed. The following day I

walked

> down to her house and asked to talk to her I told her now that my

> husband will be working from home they will need to stop coming

over

> to my home and ringing the bell. I said if my children are out

they

> can play if they are in they are in for a reason. I told her

their

> behavior was out of control and there was no other word for it. I

> said I wanted to talk to it before hand so she had a chance to

talk

> to her children and it was ample warning because if my husband is

on

> an online conference doing a 3 million dollar deal and her

children

> are screaming at my door he will not take it as well as I just

did.

> She said " well I will be pissed if he yells at them " I told her no

> he will not yell he will bring them back to you and expect that

you

> discipline them. She said " well there is nothing I can do about it

> if I don't see them " well at this point I wanted to say then get

> your fat ass outside for a change and watch them! But I kept my

cool

> and shut up. I said this is no longer just our home this is also

our

> office and we have a right to live in peace regardless if it is

our

> home or office. I think if this was your office and you had my

> children screaming at your steps you would be angry as well. She

> said " well yeah I would " I told her well then the feelings are

> mutual. There were times in the conversation she was very

defensive.

> Like once when I said her sons behavior needed to stop he is 4 she

> said no he is 3, I said no he is almost 4 his birthday is this

week

> she said well he is 3 or 4. I told her that is not the point the

> point is she needs to train him. Another thing was she said my 4

> year old just walked into her house. Well this happened last May

or

> June and the day it happened she let me hear about it and I

stopped

> the behavior immediately, the children were all playing at her

house

> her children went in and mine thought he could follow I told him

> never to do that again and he stopped. So when I told her I hope

he

> has stopped his and not only that but I know for a fact he has

> because I am watching my children all the time. She is NEVER out

> with her children. It is actually quit sad. She tried to get me on

> bunny trails asking me what I would do with my own children, or if

I

> would come to her party but I continued to refocus or conversation

> to the point. She had a phone call and was supposed to call me

back

> to finish the conversation but to be honest I don't think she

will.

> I think she doesn't like boundaries and is angry that we don't

want

> to be ran over anymore. I don't care if I have to walk her child

> home daily or hourly he will get this under control or we will be

> forced to take legal action. I also don't like this double

standard

> that they can yell on our property " OPEN THIS DOOR WHAT ARE YOU

> DOING IN THERE!!! " But we are unable to say anything to them? This

> seems unfair but whatever. I spoke my peace and I have nothing

more

> to say to her. Boundary set! Wish me luck! lizzy

>

September 27, 2006

Kylaboo,I agree with you that is why I said to her " Regardless of

this being home or office this behavior needs to stop " . I think she

may listen more now that it is office, but I think she will go

extreme and stop all communication between our children, better for

me! But you are correct in saying that would be giving justification

because I do have a right to peace! Thank you. Love Lizzy

> >

> > Yesterday I did some hard core boundary setting with my neighbor

> > lady. Her children still have not stopped this ~insane~ door

bell

> > ringing and screaming! The day before she sent them to " invite "

me

> > to her party by having them shout at my doorstep and ring the

bell

> > the whole 10 minutes I was in the shower. I put a towel and robe

> on

> > answered the door and instructed them they were not allowed to

> > holler at my door and ring the bell like that. I took the invite

> and

> > threw it in the trash that was no way to be invited to a party!

> > Then I got he kids ready and went to bed. The following day I

> walked

> > down to her house and asked to talk to her I told her now that

my

> > husband will be working from home they will need to stop coming

> over

> > to my home and ringing the bell. I said if my children are out

> they

> > can play if they are in they are in for a reason. I told her

> their

> > behavior was out of control and there was no other word for it.

I

> > said I wanted to talk to it before hand so she had a chance to

> talk

> > to her children and it was ample warning because if my husband

is

> on

> > an online conference doing a 3 million dollar deal and her

> children

> > are screaming at my door he will not take it as well as I just

> did.

> > She said " well I will be pissed if he yells at them " I told her

no

> > he will not yell he will bring them back to you and expect that

> you

> > discipline them. She said " well there is nothing I can do about

it

> > if I don't see them " well at this point I wanted to say then get

> > your fat ass outside for a change and watch them! But I kept my

> cool

> > and shut up. I said this is no longer just our home this is also

> our

> > office and we have a right to live in peace regardless if it is

> our

> > home or office. I think if this was your office and you had my

> > children screaming at your steps you would be angry as well. She

> > said " well yeah I would " I told her well then the feelings are

> > mutual. There were times in the conversation she was very

> defensive.

> > Like once when I said her sons behavior needed to stop he is 4

she

> > said no he is 3, I said no he is almost 4 his birthday is this

> week

> > she said well he is 3 or 4. I told her that is not the point the

> > point is she needs to train him. Another thing was she said my 4

> > year old just walked into her house. Well this happened last May

> or

> > June and the day it happened she let me hear about it and I

> stopped

> > the behavior immediately, the children were all playing at her

> house

> > her children went in and mine thought he could follow I told him

> > never to do that again and he stopped. So when I told her I hope

> he

> > has stopped his and not only that but I know for a fact he has

> > because I am watching my children all the time. She is NEVER out

> > with her children. It is actually quit sad. She tried to get me

on

> > bunny trails asking me what I would do with my own children, or

if

> I

> > would come to her party but I continued to refocus or

conversation

> > to the point. She had a phone call and was supposed to call me

> back

> > to finish the conversation but to be honest I don't think she

> will.

> > I think she doesn't like boundaries and is angry that we don't

> want

> > to be ran over anymore. I don't care if I have to walk her child

> > home daily or hourly he will get this under control or we will

be

> > forced to take legal action. I also don't like this double

> standard

> > that they can yell on our property " OPEN THIS DOOR WHAT ARE YOU

> > DOING IN THERE!!! " But we are unable to say anything to them?

This

> > seems unfair but whatever. I spoke my peace and I have nothing

> more

> > to say to her. Boundary set! Wish me luck! lizzy

> >

>

September 27, 2006

Lizzy --you did a good job setting your boundary and I'm sure she

won't see you as a pushover. Hopefully she's smart enough to try

and get control of her kids, or you could call the local constable

(or whatever) and make a case for some sort of mischief, I would

imagine. And actually, I was probably wrong about including the

husband working angle. That could work in your favor if you guys

ended up in court. (probably won't, so don't sweat it)

Maybe we'll see you on Judge Mathis!!! LOL!

Seriously, I wonder if this sustained pattern of parental neglect is

such that she can be found negligent and you could prevail in a

court case. For her to just sit on her fat arse while her kids

terrorized the neighbors seems like negligent supervision to me.

In the event this does progress to the legal level, you need to

document all of this -- especially including your conversations with

the mother. If she continues to be negligent in supervising those

kids, you should start putting everything in writing -- including

notice to her that you will take legal action. The more in writing

you have, the better. If she's too lazy to discipline her kids,

she's definitely too lazy to mount any sort of defense.

And if it does get that far, she has no one to blame but herself.

She would have left you no choice.

(Sorry, hyperactive legal gland is working overtime.......)

Good luck -- stay strong policing that boundary -- good on 'ya!!!

Love,

Kyla

> > >

> > > Yesterday I did some hard core boundary setting with my

neighbor

> > > lady. Her children still have not stopped this ~insane~ door

> bell

> > > ringing and screaming! The day before she sent them

to " invite "

> me

> > > to her party by having them shout at my doorstep and ring the

> bell

> > > the whole 10 minutes I was in the shower. I put a towel and

robe

> > on

> > > answered the door and instructed them they were not allowed to

> > > holler at my door and ring the bell like that. I took the

invite

> > and

> > > threw it in the trash that was no way to be invited to a

party!

> > > Then I got he kids ready and went to bed. The following day I

> > walked

> > > down to her house and asked to talk to her I told her now that

> my

> > > husband will be working from home they will need to stop

coming

> > over

> > > to my home and ringing the bell. I said if my children are out

> > they

> > > can play if they are in they are in for a reason. I told her

> > their

> > > behavior was out of control and there was no other word for

it.

> I

> > > said I wanted to talk to it before hand so she had a chance to

> > talk

> > > to her children and it was ample warning because if my husband

> is

> > on

> > > an online conference doing a 3 million dollar deal and her

> > children

> > > are screaming at my door he will not take it as well as I just

> > did.

> > > She said " well I will be pissed if he yells at them " I told

her

> no

> > > he will not yell he will bring them back to you and expect

that

> > you

> > > discipline them. She said " well there is nothing I can do

about

> it

> > > if I don't see them " well at this point I wanted to say then

get

> > > your fat ass outside for a change and watch them! But I kept

my

> > cool

> > > and shut up. I said this is no longer just our home this is

also

> > our

> > > office and we have a right to live in peace regardless if it

is

> > our

> > > home or office. I think if this was your office and you had my

> > > children screaming at your steps you would be angry as well.

She

> > > said " well yeah I would " I told her well then the feelings are

> > > mutual. There were times in the conversation she was very

> > defensive.

> > > Like once when I said her sons behavior needed to stop he is 4

> she

> > > said no he is 3, I said no he is almost 4 his birthday is this

> > week

> > > she said well he is 3 or 4. I told her that is not the point

the

> > > point is she needs to train him. Another thing was she said my

4

> > > year old just walked into her house. Well this happened last

May

> > or

> > > June and the day it happened she let me hear about it and I

> > stopped

> > > the behavior immediately, the children were all playing at her

> > house

> > > her children went in and mine thought he could follow I told

him

> > > never to do that again and he stopped. So when I told her I

hope

> > he

> > > has stopped his and not only that but I know for a fact he has

> > > because I am watching my children all the time. She is NEVER

out

> > > with her children. It is actually quit sad. She tried to get

me

> on

> > > bunny trails asking me what I would do with my own children,

or

> if

> > I

> > > would come to her party but I continued to refocus or

> conversation

> > > to the point. She had a phone call and was supposed to call

me

> > back

> > > to finish the conversation but to be honest I don't think she

> > will.

> > > I think she doesn't like boundaries and is angry that we don't

> > want

> > > to be ran over anymore. I don't care if I have to walk her

child

> > > home daily or hourly he will get this under control or we will

> be

> > > forced to take legal action. I also don't like this double

> > standard

> > > that they can yell on our property " OPEN THIS DOOR WHAT ARE

YOU

> > > DOING IN THERE!!! " But we are unable to say anything to them?

> This

> > > seems unfair but whatever. I spoke my peace and I have nothing

> > more

> > > to say to her. Boundary set! Wish me luck! lizzy

> > >

> >

>

September 27, 2006

One more thing -- start charging your camcorder. You need to get

their behavior on tape. Make sure your husband gets a few shots of

you telling the children you don't want them to do that anymore.

-Kyla

>

> Yesterday I did some hard core boundary setting with my neighbor

> lady. Her children still have not stopped this ~insane~ door bell

> ringing and screaming! The day before she sent them to " invite " me

> to her party by having them shout at my doorstep and ring the bell

> the whole 10 minutes I was in the shower. I put a towel and robe

on

> answered the door and instructed them they were not allowed to

> holler at my door and ring the bell like that. I took the invite

and

> threw it in the trash that was no way to be invited to a party!

> Then I got he kids ready and went to bed. The following day I

walked

> down to her house and asked to talk to her I told her now that my

> husband will be working from home they will need to stop coming

over

> to my home and ringing the bell. I said if my children are out

they

> can play if they are in they are in for a reason. I told her

their

> behavior was out of control and there was no other word for it. I

> said I wanted to talk to it before hand so she had a chance to

talk

> to her children and it was ample warning because if my husband is

on

> an online conference doing a 3 million dollar deal and her

children

> are screaming at my door he will not take it as well as I just

did.

> She said " well I will be pissed if he yells at them " I told her no

> he will not yell he will bring them back to you and expect that

you

> discipline them. She said " well there is nothing I can do about it

> if I don't see them " well at this point I wanted to say then get

> your fat ass outside for a change and watch them! But I kept my

cool

> and shut up. I said this is no longer just our home this is also

our

> office and we have a right to live in peace regardless if it is

our

> home or office. I think if this was your office and you had my

> children screaming at your steps you would be angry as well. She

> said " well yeah I would " I told her well then the feelings are

> mutual. There were times in the conversation she was very

defensive.

> Like once when I said her sons behavior needed to stop he is 4 she

> said no he is 3, I said no he is almost 4 his birthday is this

week

> she said well he is 3 or 4. I told her that is not the point the

> point is she needs to train him. Another thing was she said my 4

> year old just walked into her house. Well this happened last May

or

> June and the day it happened she let me hear about it and I

stopped

> the behavior immediately, the children were all playing at her

house

> her children went in and mine thought he could follow I told him

> never to do that again and he stopped. So when I told her I hope

he

> has stopped his and not only that but I know for a fact he has

> because I am watching my children all the time. She is NEVER out

> with her children. It is actually quit sad. She tried to get me on

> bunny trails asking me what I would do with my own children, or if

I

> would come to her party but I continued to refocus or conversation

> to the point. She had a phone call and was supposed to call me

back

> to finish the conversation but to be honest I don't think she

will.

> I think she doesn't like boundaries and is angry that we don't

want

> to be ran over anymore. I don't care if I have to walk her child

> home daily or hourly he will get this under control or we will be

> forced to take legal action. I also don't like this double

standard

> that they can yell on our property " OPEN THIS DOOR WHAT ARE YOU

> DOING IN THERE!!! " But we are unable to say anything to them? This

> seems unfair but whatever. I spoke my peace and I have nothing

more

> to say to her. Boundary set! Wish me luck! lizzy

>

September 27, 2006

Kylaboo, She certainly is lazy. I actually feel very sorry for the

children I hope they live to tell someday.I don't say that light

heartedly either, I see the little one often laying down flat on his

back in the middle of the street watching the clouds or closing his

eyes yelling " I am dead! " I hope he never gets hit. I have talked to

him about it and I have mentioned this to the police but the mother

really does not seem to care. I didn't tell her that I was talking

to the police about it but I want them to be aware that she is not

watching them. I didn't call them special I just casually mentioned

it one day during a talk with one police lady, she told me how she

likes to see me out with my children all the time. We also have some

new neighbors who have only been living here for just 4 days and

already they have made comments to me 2 times about her sons out of

control behavior once when he was loud in the middle of the street

and another when he was jumping on the roof of a car. I think to

document each incident is a very wise idea. Thanks for reminding me.

I did it with my mom but I guess I forgot with her. I will document

each time I see her kids out with out her and laying in the streets

or playing in the cars or other dangerous things. I mainly worry for

their safety as do the other neighbors. I highly suspect she is the

one who broke in my house a couple weeks back but I have no proof.

So I will start my documentation and pray to God it does not go that

far. Lets hope that the talking and getting the dog and maybe even a

fence will help. In the mean time I will not pander, I will not

bend, look out here I am. Thanks for the support Love Lizzy

> > > >

> > > > Yesterday I did some hard core boundary setting with my

> neighbor

> > > > lady. Her children still have not stopped this ~insane~ door

> > bell

> > > > ringing and screaming! The day before she sent them

> to " invite "

> > me

> > > > to her party by having them shout at my doorstep and ring

the

> > bell

> > > > the whole 10 minutes I was in the shower. I put a towel and

> robe

> > > on

> > > > answered the door and instructed them they were not allowed

to

> > > > holler at my door and ring the bell like that. I took the

> invite

> > > and

> > > > threw it in the trash that was no way to be invited to a

> party!

> > > > Then I got he kids ready and went to bed. The following day

I

> > > walked

> > > > down to her house and asked to talk to her I told her now

that

> > my

> > > > husband will be working from home they will need to stop

> coming

> > > over

> > > > to my home and ringing the bell. I said if my children are

out

> > > they

> > > > can play if they are in they are in for a reason. I told

her

> > > their

> > > > behavior was out of control and there was no other word for

> it.

> > I

> > > > said I wanted to talk to it before hand so she had a chance

to

> > > talk

> > > > to her children and it was ample warning because if my

husband

> > is

> > > on

> > > > an online conference doing a 3 million dollar deal and her

> > > children

> > > > are screaming at my door he will not take it as well as I

just

> > > did.

> > > > She said " well I will be pissed if he yells at them " I told

> her

> > no

> > > > he will not yell he will bring them back to you and expect

> that

> > > you

> > > > discipline them. She said " well there is nothing I can do

> about

> > it

> > > > if I don't see them " well at this point I wanted to say then

> get

> > > > your fat ass outside for a change and watch them! But I kept

> my

> > > cool

> > > > and shut up. I said this is no longer just our home this is

> also

> > > our

> > > > office and we have a right to live in peace regardless if it

> is

> > > our

> > > > home or office. I think if this was your office and you had

my

> > > > children screaming at your steps you would be angry as well.

> She

> > > > said " well yeah I would " I told her well then the feelings

are

> > > > mutual. There were times in the conversation she was very

> > > defensive.

> > > > Like once when I said her sons behavior needed to stop he is

4

> > she

> > > > said no he is 3, I said no he is almost 4 his birthday is

this

> > > week

> > > > she said well he is 3 or 4. I told her that is not the point

> the

> > > > point is she needs to train him. Another thing was she said

my

> 4

> > > > year old just walked into her house. Well this happened last

> May

> > > or

> > > > June and the day it happened she let me hear about it and I

> > > stopped

> > > > the behavior immediately, the children were all playing at

her

> > > house

> > > > her children went in and mine thought he could follow I told

> him

> > > > never to do that again and he stopped. So when I told her I

> hope

> > > he

> > > > has stopped his and not only that but I know for a fact he

has

> > > > because I am watching my children all the time. She is NEVER

> out

> > > > with her children. It is actually quit sad. She tried to get

> me

> > on

> > > > bunny trails asking me what I would do with my own children,

> or

> > if

> > > I

> > > > would come to her party but I continued to refocus or

> > conversation

> > > > to the point. She had a phone call and was supposed to call

> me

> > > back

> > > > to finish the conversation but to be honest I don't think

she

> > > will.

> > > > I think she doesn't like boundaries and is angry that we

don't

> > > want

> > > > to be ran over anymore. I don't care if I have to walk her

> child

> > > > home daily or hourly he will get this under control or we

will

> > be

> > > > forced to take legal action. I also don't like this double

> > > standard

> > > > that they can yell on our property " OPEN THIS DOOR WHAT ARE

> YOU

> > > > DOING IN THERE!!! " But we are unable to say anything to

them?

> > This

> > > > seems unfair but whatever. I spoke my peace and I have

nothing

> > > more

> > > > to say to her. Boundary set! Wish me luck! lizzy

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

September 27, 2006

Good Idea thanks! I should have done that when they were at my door

freaking out. Now I am ready! Lizzy

> >

> > Yesterday I did some hard core boundary setting with my neighbor

> > lady. Her children still have not stopped this ~insane~ door

bell

> > ringing and screaming! The day before she sent them to " invite "

me

> > to her party by having them shout at my doorstep and ring the

bell

> > the whole 10 minutes I was in the shower. I put a towel and robe

> on

> > answered the door and instructed them they were not allowed to

> > holler at my door and ring the bell like that. I took the invite

> and

> > threw it in the trash that was no way to be invited to a party!

> > Then I got he kids ready and went to bed. The following day I

> walked

> > down to her house and asked to talk to her I told her now that

my

> > husband will be working from home they will need to stop coming

> over

> > to my home and ringing the bell. I said if my children are out

> they

> > can play if they are in they are in for a reason. I told her

> their

> > behavior was out of control and there was no other word for it.

I

> > said I wanted to talk to it before hand so she had a chance to

> talk

> > to her children and it was ample warning because if my husband

is

> on

> > an online conference doing a 3 million dollar deal and her

> children

> > are screaming at my door he will not take it as well as I just

> did.

> > She said " well I will be pissed if he yells at them " I told her

no

> > he will not yell he will bring them back to you and expect that

> you

> > discipline them. She said " well there is nothing I can do about

it

> > if I don't see them " well at this point I wanted to say then get

> > your fat ass outside for a change and watch them! But I kept my

> cool

> > and shut up. I said this is no longer just our home this is also

> our

> > office and we have a right to live in peace regardless if it is

> our

> > home or office. I think if this was your office and you had my

> > children screaming at your steps you would be angry as well. She

> > said " well yeah I would " I told her well then the feelings are

> > mutual. There were times in the conversation she was very

> defensive.

> > Like once when I said her sons behavior needed to stop he is 4

she

> > said no he is 3, I said no he is almost 4 his birthday is this

> week

> > she said well he is 3 or 4. I told her that is not the point the

> > point is she needs to train him. Another thing was she said my 4

> > year old just walked into her house. Well this happened last May

> or

> > June and the day it happened she let me hear about it and I

> stopped

> > the behavior immediately, the children were all playing at her

> house

> > her children went in and mine thought he could follow I told him

> > never to do that again and he stopped. So when I told her I hope

> he

> > has stopped his and not only that but I know for a fact he has

> > because I am watching my children all the time. She is NEVER out

> > with her children. It is actually quit sad. She tried to get me

on

> > bunny trails asking me what I would do with my own children, or

if

> I

> > would come to her party but I continued to refocus or

conversation

> > to the point. She had a phone call and was supposed to call me

> back

> > to finish the conversation but to be honest I don't think she

> will.

> > I think she doesn't like boundaries and is angry that we don't

> want

> > to be ran over anymore. I don't care if I have to walk her child

> > home daily or hourly he will get this under control or we will

be

> > forced to take legal action. I also don't like this double

> standard

> > that they can yell on our property " OPEN THIS DOOR WHAT ARE YOU

> > DOING IN THERE!!! " But we are unable to say anything to them?

This

> > seems unfair but whatever. I spoke my peace and I have nothing

> more

> > to say to her. Boundary set! Wish me luck! lizzy

> >

>

September 28, 2006

Lizzy,

That woman sounds very disturbed and she's teaching

her children how to behave in disturbed ways, possibly

on top of their genetic problems inherited from at

least their mother. She could have APD. The

childrens' behavior sounds like severe crying out for

help, including somebody to give them some love and

boundaries. It doesn't sound as if they're EVER going

to get love or boundaries from their mother. Please

protect yourself and your family. This situation

sounds to me, unfortunately, as if it will only get

worse. You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and

you can't cure it.

One Non-BP Recovering Man

--- lizzyboo81 wrote:

> Kylaboo, She certainly is lazy. I actually feel very

> sorry for the

> children I hope they live to tell someday.I don't

> say that light

> heartedly either, I see the little one often laying

> down flat on his

> back in the middle of the street watching the clouds

> or closing his

> eyes yelling " I am dead! " I hope he never gets hit.

> I have talked to

> him about it and I have mentioned this to the police

> but the mother

> really does not seem to care. I didn't tell her that

> I was talking

> to the police about it but I want them to be aware

> that she is not

> watching them. I didn't call them special I just

> casually mentioned

> it one day during a talk with one police lady, she

> told me how she

> likes to see me out with my children all the time.

> We also have some

> new neighbors who have only been living here for

> just 4 days and

> already they have made comments to me 2 times about

> her sons out of

> control behavior once when he was loud in the middle

> of the street

> and another when he was jumping on the roof of a

> car. I think to

> document each incident is a very wise idea. Thanks

> for reminding me.

> I did it with my mom but I guess I forgot with her.

> I will document

> each time I see her kids out with out her and laying

> in the streets

> or playing in the cars or other dangerous things. I

> mainly worry for

> their safety as do the other neighbors. I highly

> suspect she is the

> one who broke in my house a couple weeks back but I

> have no proof.

> So I will start my documentation and pray to God it

> does not go that

> far. Lets hope that the talking and getting the dog

> and maybe even a

> fence will help. In the mean time I will not pander,

> I will not

> bend, look out here I am. Thanks for the support

> Love Lizzy

>

> > > > >

> > > > > Yesterday I did some hard core boundary

> setting with my

> > neighbor

> > > > > lady. Her children still have not stopped

> this ~insane~ door

> > > bell

> > > > > ringing and screaming! The day before she

> sent them

> > to " invite "

> > > me

> > > > > to her party by having them shout at my

> doorstep and ring

> the

> > > bell

> > > > > the whole 10 minutes I was in the shower. I

> put a towel and

> > robe

> > > > on

> > > > > answered the door and instructed them they

> were not allowed

> to

> > > > > holler at my door and ring the bell like

> that. I took the

> > invite

> > > > and

> > > > > threw it in the trash that was no way to be

> invited to a

> > party!

> > > > > Then I got he kids ready and went to bed.

> The following day

> I

> > > > walked

> > > > > down to her house and asked to talk to her I

> told her now

> that

> > > my

> > > > > husband will be working from home they will

> need to stop

> > coming

> > > > over

> > > > > to my home and ringing the bell. I said if

> my children are

> out

> > > > they

> > > > > can play if they are in they are in for a

> reason. I told

> her

> > > > their

> > > > > behavior was out of control and there was no

> other word for

> > it.

> > > I

> > > > > said I wanted to talk to it before hand so

> she had a chance

> to

> > > > talk

> > > > > to her children and it was ample warning

> because if my

> husband

> > > is

> > > > on

> > > > > an online conference doing a 3 million

> dollar deal and her

> > > > children

> > > > > are screaming at my door he will not take it

> as well as I

> just

> > > > did.

> > > > > She said " well I will be pissed if he yells

> at them " I told

> > her

> > > no

> > > > > he will not yell he will bring them back to

> you and expect

> > that

> > > > you

> > > > > discipline them. She said " well there is

> nothing I can do

> > about

> > > it

> > > > > if I don't see them " well at this point I

> wanted to say then

> > get

> > > > > your fat ass outside for a change and watch

> them! But I kept

> > my

> > > > cool

> > > > > and shut up. I said this is no longer just

> our home this is

> > also

> > > > our

> > > > > office and we have a right to live in peace

> regardless if it

> > is

> > > > our

> > > > > home or office. I think if this was your

> office and you had

> my

> > > > > children screaming at your steps you would

> be angry as well.

> > She

> > > > > said " well yeah I would " I told her well

> then the feelings

> are

> > > > > mutual. There were times in the conversation

> she was very

> > > > defensive.

> > > > > Like once when I said her sons behavior

> needed to stop he is

> 4

> > > she

> > > > > said no he is 3, I said no he is almost 4

> his birthday is

> this

> > > > week

> > > > > she said well he is 3 or 4. I told her that

> is not the point

> > the

> > > > > point is she needs to train him. Another

> thing was she said

> my

> > 4

> > > > > year old just walked into her house. Well

> this happened last

> > May

> > > > or

> > > > > June and the day it happened she let me hear

> about it and I

> > > > stopped

> > > > > the behavior immediately, the children were

> all playing at

> her

> > > > house

> > > > > her children went in and mine thought he

> could follow I told

> > him

> > > > > never to do that again and he stopped. So

> when I told her I

> > hope

> > > > he

> > > > > has stopped his and not only that but I know

> for a fact he

> has

> > > > > because I am watching my children all the

> time. She is NEVER

> > out

> > > > > with her children. It is actually quit sad.

> She tried to get

> > me

> > > on

> > > > > bunny trails asking me what I would do with

> my own children,

> > or

> > > if

> > > > I

> > > > > would come to her party but I continued to

> refocus or

> > > conversation

> > > > > to the point. She had a phone call and was

> supposed to call

> > me

> > > > back

> > > > > to finish the conversation but to be honest

> I don't think

> she

> > > > will.

> > > > > I think she doesn't like boundaries and is

> angry that we

> don't

> > > > want

> > > > > to be ran over anymore. I don't care if I

> have to walk her

> > child

> > > > > home daily or hourly he will get this under

> control or we

> will

> > > be

> > > > > forced to take legal action. I also don't

> like this double

> > > > standard

> > > > > that they can yell on our property " OPEN

> THIS DOOR WHAT ARE

> > YOU

> > > > > DOING IN THERE!!! " But we are unable to say

> anything to

> them?

> > > This

> > > > > seems unfair but whatever. I spoke my peace

> and I have

> nothing

> > > > more

> > > > > to say to her. Boundary set! Wish me luck!

> lizzy

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

__________________________________________________

September 28, 2006

One Non-BP Recovering Man, Thanks for the reply, Yes I agree with my

whole heart. One thing I forgot to mention was she said to me that

if my children are not outside playing with her kids then her

children are board. I found this statement odd. First because her

two children should be able to play alone or together and be content

they should not need my 2. And second if my children are board I

help them find an activity like we play a board game, go on the

internet and print off activities, play school, have a movie night,

build a Lego castle, make a fort, read a book, bake a cake, go to

the park. As a child there are endless possibilities why do her

children need my children? I think they are highly neglected that is

why I pray they live to tell. I also know she does not cook. So I

think they are not getting a proper diet. I can see the one poor

kids mouth is full of cavities. My heart goes out to them and she is

pregnant with number 4 but I can not put her shortcomings on my to

do list. I will say a prayer and if the situation gets to out of

hand I may take yet another step. But you are right I can't cure it

oh how I wish I could for the sake of the children. That is the hard

part, the children do things to make me angry but I know it is not

their fault and I know I can not be mad at them because they were

never taught. So I just continue to be kind to them and use my firm

nanny 911 voice when they break a rule on my property other wise I

wont say a word. So so sad. This could explain why they move so

often from state to state. Thanks for the support I really needed

it. Love Lizzy

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Yesterday I did some hard core boundary

> > setting with my

> > > neighbor

> > > > > > lady. Her children still have not stopped

> > this ~insane~ door

> > > > bell

> > > > > > ringing and screaming! The day before she

> > sent them

> > > to " invite "

> > > > me

> > > > > > to her party by having them shout at my

> > doorstep and ring

> > the

> > > > bell

> > > > > > the whole 10 minutes I was in the shower. I

> > put a towel and

> > > robe

> > > > > on

> > > > > > answered the door and instructed them they

> > were not allowed

> > to

> > > > > > holler at my door and ring the bell like

> > that. I took the

> > > invite

> > > > > and

> > > > > > threw it in the trash that was no way to be

> > invited to a

> > > party!

> > > > > > Then I got he kids ready and went to bed.

> > The following day

> > I

> > > > > walked

> > > > > > down to her house and asked to talk to her I

> > told her now

> > that

> > > > my

> > > > > > husband will be working from home they will

> > need to stop

> > > coming

> > > > > over

> > > > > > to my home and ringing the bell. I said if

> > my children are

> > out

> > > > > they

> > > > > > can play if they are in they are in for a

> > reason. I told

> > her

> > > > > their

> > > > > > behavior was out of control and there was no

> > other word for

> > > it.

> > > > I

> > > > > > said I wanted to talk to it before hand so

> > she had a chance

> > to

> > > > > talk

> > > > > > to her children and it was ample warning

> > because if my

> > husband

> > > > is

> > > > > on

> > > > > > an online conference doing a 3 million

> > dollar deal and her

> > > > > children

> > > > > > are screaming at my door he will not take it

> > as well as I

> > just

> > > > > did.

> > > > > > She said " well I will be pissed if he yells

> > at them " I told

> > > her

> > > > no

> > > > > > he will not yell he will bring them back to

> > you and expect

> > > that

> > > > > you

> > > > > > discipline them. She said " well there is

> > nothing I can do

> > > about

> > > > it

> > > > > > if I don't see them " well at this point I

> > wanted to say then

> > > get

> > > > > > your fat ass outside for a change and watch

> > them! But I kept

> > > my

> > > > > cool

> > > > > > and shut up. I said this is no longer just

> > our home this is

> > > also

> > > > > our

> > > > > > office and we have a right to live in peace

> > regardless if it

> > > is

> > > > > our

> > > > > > home or office. I think if this was your

> > office and you had

> > my

> > > > > > children screaming at your steps you would

> > be angry as well.

> > > She

> > > > > > said " well yeah I would " I told her well

> > then the feelings

> > are

> > > > > > mutual. There were times in the conversation

> > she was very

> > > > > defensive.

> > > > > > Like once when I said her sons behavior

> > needed to stop he is

> > 4

> > > > she

> > > > > > said no he is 3, I said no he is almost 4

> > his birthday is

> > this

> > > > > week

> > > > > > she said well he is 3 or 4. I told her that

> > is not the point

> > > the

> > > > > > point is she needs to train him. Another

> > thing was she said

> > my

> > > 4

> > > > > > year old just walked into her house. Well

> > this happened last

> > > May

> > > > > or

> > > > > > June and the day it happened she let me hear

> > about it and I

> > > > > stopped

> > > > > > the behavior immediately, the children were

> > all playing at

> > her

> > > > > house

> > > > > > her children went in and mine thought he

> > could follow I told

> > > him

> > > > > > never to do that again and he stopped. So

> > when I told her I

> > > hope

> > > > > he

> > > > > > has stopped his and not only that but I know

> > for a fact he

> > has

> > > > > > because I am watching my children all the

> > time. She is NEVER

> > > out

> > > > > > with her children. It is actually quit sad.

> > She tried to get

> > > me

> > > > on

> > > > > > bunny trails asking me what I would do with

> > my own children,

> > > or

> > > > if

> > > > > I

> > > > > > would come to her party but I continued to

> > refocus or

> > > > conversation

> > > > > > to the point. She had a phone call and was

> > supposed to call

> > > me

> > > > > back

> > > > > > to finish the conversation but to be honest

> > I don't think

> > she

> > > > > will.

> > > > > > I think she doesn't like boundaries and is

> > angry that we

> > don't

> > > > > want

> > > > > > to be ran over anymore. I don't care if I

> > have to walk her

> > > child

> > > > > > home daily or hourly he will get this under

> > control or we

> > will

> > > > be

> > > > > > forced to take legal action. I also don't

> > like this double

> > > > > standard

> > > > > > that they can yell on our property " OPEN

> > THIS DOOR WHAT ARE

> > > YOU

> > > > > > DOING IN THERE!!! " But we are unable to say

> > anything to

> > them?

> > > > This

> > > > > > seems unfair but whatever. I spoke my peace

> > and I have

> > nothing

> > > > > more

> > > > > > to say to her. Boundary set! Wish me luck!

> > lizzy

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

> __________________________________________________

>

September 28, 2006

God, Lizzy, that just sounds soo tragic.

Greg.

lizzyboo81 wrote: