Re: not BLONDE / rant

[Guest guest]

Guess I'm the exception that proves the rule - I'm blonde, sis is not and I'm

haven't been the favored one ever since I started to have an opinion different

from nada's. I think it boils down to the fact that when a nada or fada doesn't

want to like someone, they will find something -anything - that they can call

wrong so they can have a 'valid' reason for their dislike ....too brunette, too

blonde, too callous, too sensitive, too reserved, too open, too rich, too poor,

too short, too tall, too anything --- as long as it's somebody else's

" shortcoming " instead of their own. I've also seen that that same disliked

characterisitic will become the most admired one when they start liking the

person again. Just as one of the books said, they change the facts to suit the

emotion. It's about their abnormal perception and has nothing to do with the

reality of the situation. Dye your hair chartreuse -- it won't matter a bit.

-Leslye

getevenpersevere@... wrote: That absence of essential, recessive

DNA appears to be the abyss, that place

where nada justifies my 'unworthiness'. There is nothing in the middle;

either you are 'like her-blonde' or you are not.

Birth order aside, irregardless of the current species of dysfunction going

around, roles in my FOO are dictated by hair color. Anyone else find this

true?

I am not ... blonde; not compliant, not needy of her approval (anymore), not

willing to sacrifice my young to her. My other 'not blonde' sibling is

male, equally rebellious but in a crippling sort of way; his identity is the

clown who pretends to be blonde when nada is disappointed in him/his loyalty.

My 2 blonde siblings are the 'success' stories, in as much as

'nada-mothering' goes.

My blonde sister sacrificed her marriage (divorced when nada said HE

disrespected her), put her children on the line (demanded her daughters attend

college where dishrag dad had done some construction work ... made nada proud of

something; she sacrificed her career choice (changed her major to respiratory

therapy when nada came down with emphysema ... instead of going to

Veterinarian school/her lifelong ambition.

My youngest sibling/brother (blondest child of all) dropped out of school in

the 10th grade, a 9th grade education just like nada & fada. The other

three of us went to college (out of our own pockets-THIS is important), yet ~he~

is the 'genius' child of the family! Any irony there? This brother

disparages me because nada declared that I disrespect her. ~He~ is executor of

the

estates, holds power of attorney, hold the deeds to the nada-fada

vehicles/mortgage/boats; even the life insurance names him as beneficiary.

I am waiting for the STORM (I've already been given my inheritance/and taken

it to the DAV). ;-) <----- SINISTER GRIN Carol

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[Guest guest]

I have a similar situation in my family. My two oldest brothers are

blonde and blue eyed (nada is brunette but with blue eyes, my dad (who

she hates) is brown eyed and brown haired), my youngest brother and me

(the baby) are dark like my dad.

Nada split my dad and me black. In my case, since I was a baby. My

brothers on the other hand, including the " dark " one can do no wrong so

I'm not sure how much hair color rather than gender plays into it.

Years ago when I moved in with my creole boyfriend, my mother sent me a

letter raving about how beautiful my two blonde brothers were as kids.I

think it was her way of objecting to the relationship, but who knows.

My mother never commented once on the fact that my oldest brother had a

Japanese-American girlfriend and my middle brother dated Latin MEN!

This was all perfectly okay because, of course, her sons could do no

wrong.

[Guest guest]

This thread reminded me of a childhood story. My blonde, blue-eyed

brother was born when I was 4. I don't recall doing it, but one of my

parents' favorite stories is when my grandma was babysitting and I dyed

my brother's hair with india ink. I can only assume that the emotional

abuse started before I have memories and I was trying to reclaim the

role of " good " child.