Mulling things over

[Guest guest]

AS I read the posts this morning, I reviewed a series of events. I

am currently in NC since November with nada.

In the fall, nada had a hysterical chaos event that was very silly

and so obviously manufactured by nada.

After the episode, we spoke on several occasions. One day nada

called my home and demanded I call her immediately. She called

between 10-17 times. The last message she left she stated I will

NEVER call you again. And she has not called.

I called a few more times and she was in full nada mode; I grew

weary of dealing with her nastiness.

During this period of time, DH began a discussion about when nada

becomes ill (she is in late 80s) that I am the most likely sibling

to be available to be with nada. We talked about driving (1000) to

her home, staying at nada's home. Just generally covered what I

would have to do in the event of her illness. DH even stated if I

had to stay for an extended period, he could come down to visit.

As I grew weary of nada's ongoing nastiness, I just quit calling. I

did not notify nada of NC, I did not send a Christmas card, no

present. I just quit calling nada (had been calling 1 2 x weekly).

In reviewing the " care taking " conversation, I am seeing this as a

fear trigger for me. Nada is financially secure and I am of very

modest means. She will not be sleeping under the bridge when she

becomes ill.

I am seeing the " care taking " conversation as a emotional trigger

for me. Even as I type this, I am beginning to feel anxiety.

MMMmmm, this is something I need to explore.

Thank you everyone for each and every comment, you have helped me so

much by your postings. Take care, mg