Venting - nada is the same as 5 years ago!

[Guest guest]

This shouldn't come as a surprise to me, and it probably doesn't to

the more seasoned members of this forum. I was 1 year limited

contact, 3.5 years no contact, and now am back to limited contact.

In the meantime, nada, dishrag and my sister bought a house

together. Nada said she needed sister's help in dealing with

household responsibility so that she could take care of dad. Nada

and dad moved into their shared house over 1 year ago. It took sis

a year to sell her house. After the sale, and her moving in with

nada, nada declared that they are going to move back to their old

neighborhood!!!! Nada has been heaping all her BP abuse on sister

and dad. Sis was before this the closest thing to the all good

child. Now nada can't figure out what happened to our family, and

sis is certainly not the person she used to be!!

Throughout this, dad became very ill, which is why I resumed limited

contact. Nada is up to her old tricks, trying to use me now instead

of sis. Nada, dad and sis have a very nice home. But nada can't be

happy in any situation. She is upset because sis doesn't do

everything she wants. Nada asked if she and dad could move in

temporarily with me - I said no. Yesterday she called and asked if

they could come over for Labor Day. I said no. I moved into my

home over a year ago. Nada has never been here, nor will I allow

her to be. She brings her negative energy everywhere, and it is not

welcome here. My sister doesn't even like going into her home

because of nada. Sis now hides out in her home office or her

bedroom. She really wanted to be as helpful as she could, but there

is not satisfying nada.

Both sis and I know that our parents shouldn't live alone, but they

do not want to live in assisted living. They both do very childish

things, but no matter how kindly they are treated, they are not

satisfied unless they can do what they want. It is very

frustrating, but sis and I are accepting that there is no other way

to handle the situation. Nada just always follows her immature

impulses. She could get away with it in previous years, but the

consequences are more difficult for her to handle now that she is

elderly.

I know there is nothing that I can do. i was finding myself falling

into that 'maybe if' mind set today, and realized that I need to put

this all out there as a reminder that things rarely change.

Thanks everyone for being there.

Sylvia