Re: OT-new baby blues

[Guest guest]

I had the artificial, force fed, super duper, Dr. controlled labor, until

they did a C-section and I scheduled 's birth because they were no way,

no how going to put me through that again! But I never went into a 'normal'

labor to know what it would have been like.

Sue

Re: OT-new baby blues

>

> >

> >

> >What is labor???

> >Sue

> I wouldn't know I had c-sections with both!

>

>

> Wife to

> Mom to Ben 4.5 (aka Godzilla)

> On call milk machine to Abby 15 mths (aka stinkerbell)

>

> " Some days you are the Bug, some days you are the Windshield "

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/1/01 8:50:19 PM Central Standard Time,

gracekeh@... writes:

<< 60-something lbs of weight added on, too. >>

I gained that with my singleton first baby, and my singleton 4th I gained

over 70!!! YIKES! Only have about 7 more to lose. Yeah breastfeeding!

Dani

wife to Isaac since 8-12-95

SAHM to

Marisa 6-20-95

Jordan 3-18-98

Christian 6-15-99

and

" Pebbles " due 1-31-01

" The next time your child flings spaghetti on the wall, instead of

hyperventilating, take a picture before you make him clean it up. "

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/1/01 8:57:44 PM Central Standard Time, vhunnius@...

writes:

<< babies leave me flat. Don't do a damn thing for me. They're like little

needy larvae. Wasn't always like that, though. Up until about a year ago,

every time I saw one of the things I was plunged into depression all over

again... Now, I'm immune to the little slobbery buggers.

Jacquie

-who hopes she hasn't offended any parents of infants, since she was once a

doting parent of an infant herself. >>

--I don't know what to say....oh here goes. How many do you have? I have

4(I know Salli for one still has me beat!!) and I love my little slobbery

bugger. I cannot imagine my life without anyone one of my slobbery buggers!!!

Dani

wife to Isaac since 8-12-95

SAHM to

Marisa 6-20-95

Jordan 3-18-98

Christian 6-15-99

and

" Pebbles " due 1-31-01

" The next time your child flings spaghetti on the wall, instead of

hyperventilating, take a picture before you make him clean it up. "

[Guest guest]

> 4(I know Salli for one still has me beat!!) and I love my little slobbery

> bugger. I cannot imagine my life without anyone one of my slobbery

buggers!!!

Dani, I know you meant this for Jacquie, but if I may - - let me clarify. I

don't want to be rid of the buggers I have - - I just don't want any more

buggers. Ya can't miss what you don't have. )

And I know for a fact that Jacquie isn't getting rid of either. She is

just choosing not to have anymore. Besides, if you hear her stories about

her pregnancy, you really wouldn't wonder why LOL. My pregnancy was

torture, but hers was absolutely OUT THERE.

Grace

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/1/01 10:10:48 PM Central Standard Time,

gracekeh@... writes:

<< Dani, I know you meant this for Jacquie, but if I may - - let me clarify.

I

don't want to be rid of the buggers I have - - I just don't want any more

buggers. Ya can't miss what you don't have. )

And I know for a fact that Jacquie isn't getting rid of either. She is

just choosing not to have anymore. Besides, if you hear her stories about

her pregnancy, you really wouldn't wonder why LOL. My pregnancy was

torture, but hers was absolutely OUT THERE >>

Those sound like ahem, interesting stories. I love stories on birth and

pregnancy. My pregnancies are pretty uneventful, last 2 born at home. I

just have to say that if I had stopped at 2, like my parents had, I wouldn't

have Puff or . You may not miss what you don't have on a daily basis,

but don't you ever wonder what could be? If I ever said that I wouldn't have

more, I would feel like I lost something. I'm not sure what I am trying to

say, but I'm fairly certain that my Catholic faith has ALOT to do with it;)

Oh, btw, I don't want to have another tomorrow, lol. 2 years sound nice. I

can't say at 26, that I want to be done. My mom is starting menopause (I

know tmi) and she is 51. If I am like her I would go from here to there

without having another? I couldn't do it. I would be killing dh before I

hit 32.

Dani

wife to Isaac since 8-12-95

SAHM to

Marisa 6-20-95

Jordan 3-18-98

Christian 6-15-99

and

" Pebbles " due 1-31-01

" The next time your child flings spaghetti on the wall, instead of

hyperventilating, take a picture before you make him clean it up. "

[Guest guest]

> Penny,

> I still had 16 hours of Dr. controlled labor. The fun kind where

>he sayscontractions will be This close together and This strong (oh

>fun) and 2 hours of pushing before they decided to go c-section with

>the first one!<<<

Sue-

ugh.

I do believe induced is worse, from what I've heard....

Penny

[Guest guest]

> I am done having babies.

>

Me too. And babies leave me flat. Don't do a damn thing for me. They're like

little needy larvae. Wasn't always like that, though. Up until about a year

ago, every time I saw one of the things I was plunged into depression all over

again... Now, I'm immune to the little slobbery buggers.

Jacquie

-who hopes she hasn't offended any parents of infants, since she was once a

doting parent of an infant herself.

[Guest guest]

> Jacquie

> -who hopes she hasn't offended any parents of infants, since she

was once a doting parent of an infant herself.

Absolutely none taken. The urologist told I'd have to sign a

consent form before he gets snipped and said, " I don't believe

that will be a problem! "

who is quite done with having babies even if they are cute

[Guest guest]

> just have to say that if I had stopped at 2, like my parents had, I

wouldn't

> have Puff or . You may not miss what you don't have on a daily

basis,

> but don't you ever wonder what could be? If I ever said that I wouldn't

have

> more, I would feel like I lost something

Dani, I know my take on this might sound cold and heartless, and perhaps it

is. But I think therein lies the difference between those who have NT

children before autism, or even after. The absolute joys of motherhood are

not lost of them as they are on me.

I have only two kids, but both are autistic, and I have no desire to tempt

fate again for more twins, or more autism, as both are genetic, and

apparently completely out of my control, as far as I know. I don't know the

joy of being called MOMMY by a little 1 year old, or 2 year old... or for

that matter, 3.5 years old. I don't know the joy of having your child

admire you and love you so unmistakably, and I don't know the joy of wanting

time to stop so your children stop growing, so you can enjoy the moment.

During months 6-18 or so, I declared I wanted 5 kids, at LEAST. After month

18, the desire to have any more has dissipated. I enjoyed the time because

they were fun to be around and really interacted with you, even if they did

lack a lot of speech. But they were young, and I could hope.

As for feeling I have lost something, I already feel I lost something. I

was made to fall madly in love with my children, and being the best mom I

knew how to be. And still, my children are not the children that were born

to me. My children are not the children that used to cry when I would

pretend cry, or become sad when sad music played, or sit on my lap and let

me read for hours. No, now my children could care less if I am really

crying, and I am thankful if they don't get the giggles right then. Music

makes them either happy or upset to the point of headbanging, and it has

nothing to do with the sadness of the music. Now, my child runs from me,

with her ears plugged and with a horrified look on her face, when I pick up

any book and start reading. I've already lost something, and I do not

wonder what it would be like to have more. I don't know if I've conditioned

myself to feel this way, or if this is really how I feel.

I love babies, and I like playing with babies. But I do not want more of my

own, and I cannot do this all over again. I have barely made it this far.

I just can't risk going through all of it again. And worse, my girls won't

live through my going through all of this again. Although my Christian

faith doesn't help me decide how many I should have - - and ultimately, it

is up to God (although my IUD will fight it every step of the way if

possible) - - my faith tells me to just deal with what has already been

entrusted to me and has blessed my life. I know my children are my

blessings, as hard as they make it to realize sometimes, and I love them

till the point that I hurt and cry when I check in on them at night. I love

them to the point where there is no mending my heart. That is not a pain I

wish to multiply, and it is not something I want to know again.

I do not and cannot wonder about " what could be " as eventually, all of it

leads to the " what-if's " and then all the pretty pictures in my head get

" destroyed " by autism, yet again. Afterall, this is all I know and have

lived through.

Grace

[Guest guest]

> therapies. I say that because it is " my " limit. You are not anymore

> shallow in knowing your limits than I am in knowing mine. Cheer up

> Grace, you are wonderful!

> Jacquie H

Hee hee.... ha, ha, HEHEHEHE....

A compliment is always nice to hear, no matter what, huh?

A gleeful gloating grace

[Guest guest]

Jacquie,

thanks for the luck. I have we have been trying since the

beginning of this year. So far no baby. Oh well, timing isnt right

yet I guess. I must totally forget how horrible it was to be pregnant

but I can't afford to adopt so I guess this is the only way.LOL

Jacquie H

>

> > sounds like you and I had very similar pregnancies but I was

dumb

> > enough to do it again and I am trying for another.

>

> Wow, Jacquie. I'm in AWE. I will never, ever try for another. I

am utterly convinced that if I had another autie none of us would

survive.

>

> I am just not a strong person.

>

> Good for you!!!!!!!!!! And good luck in your baby three attempts!

>

> Jacquie

[Guest guest]

AWWWWWWWWWW! You're making me blush.

Jacquie H

>

> > always wanted at least 5 kids and I still plan to have them. I

don't

> > know what to say about it. I know I am risking my heart breaking

> > another time but for me it is worth the risk.

>

> Again, Jacquie, you have my complete and utter admiration.

>

> You ROCK!

>

> Jacquie

[Guest guest]

> Aw thanks, Grace. I just listed off the WHOLE THING. I've never done

that before. It WAS absolutely OUT THERE, wasn't it???

Jacquie, yes, it was.

Because of my having twins via different routes, I've heard a whole lot of

odd birth stories.

Yours takes the cake as far as horror is concerned. (That is, for

successful births....) It's like you challenged the pregnancy gods to bring

it all on, and they obliged.

It was extremely OUT THERE.

And yet, you still made it in one piece.... with mind and all.

Grace

[Guest guest]

> Yours takes the cake as far as horror is concerned. (That is, for

> successful births....) It's like you challenged the pregnancy gods to bring

> it all on, and they obliged.

and guess what? I forgot to mention the carpal tunnel syndrome... every

morning from five months on I would wake up, drape my arms over the side of the

bed one at a time, and shake my hands until the blood came back...

In a lot of ways, I reeeeaaaaalllllly am not nostaligic for pregnancy the way so

many are...but I do wish I could feel that sensation of a baby swishing around

in there one more time, or that first look at an ultrasound...those moments when

anything is possible and the world is all yours and full of possibility.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/2/01 2:37:02 PM Central Standard Time,

reynoldspm@... writes:

> Okay, semi ancient, and I have the husband, but he is ancient, and I

> refuse to have a baby younger than my first grandchild

lol, THAT would be ahem...kinda well, funny.

le

married to Isaac

SAHM to

Marisa 6

Jordan 3

Christian 2

1-26-01 cvr 5-30-01

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/3/01 9:30:31 AM Central Standard Time,

bunnytiner@... writes:

> Okay, semi ancient, and I have the husband, but he is ancient, and I

> > > refuse to have a baby younger than my first grandchild

> >

> > lol, THAT would be ahem...kinda well, funny.

>

>

> But it does happen

I wouldn't mind it happening to us...but then again, my daughter is only 6

and she is my oldest, lol. I have several years to think about htis:)

le

married to Isaac

SAHM to

Marisa 6

Jordan 3

Christian 2

1-26-01 cvr 5-30-01

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/3/01 3:09:37 PM Central Standard Time,

nospam@... writes:

> Penny :-), who's mother is 1 of 8, and who's dh's mother is 1 of 20.

>

>

>

>

>

TWENTY?!?!?!?! Wow, she must have had kids and grandkids the same age?

le

married to Isaac

SAHM to

Marisa 6

Jordan 3

Christian 2

1-26-01 cvr 5-30-01

[Guest guest]

I've already started the

> night sweats. Perimenopause, here I come!!

> Sue

Isn't if fun. I wake up because of babies, I get up early because of

babies, I wake up because I'm WAY hot!, and then I'm freezing cause

I'm all sweaty. Oh yeah. However...I could be 40, pregnant, and

have a baby younger than my first grandchild. I'll go for the night

sweats. Funny thing is I never thought I'd feel that way. We so

wanted more kids, and we had them, but...time has a way of changing

things, well that and age. LOL. Bring on the night sweats and hot

flashes. Hey - Thanksgiving at my Mom's with the fireplace ought to

be fun! I can see it now, excuse me while I peel clothes, don't look

anyone! LOL.

[Guest guest]

,

Mark and I just talked to his Dr. today about him getting snipped...I think

it's time for me to try getting off the pill. I've already started the

night sweats. Perimenopause, here I come!!

Sue

----- Original Message -----

To: <parenting_autism >

> Absolutely none taken. The urologist told I'd have to sign a

> consent form before he gets snipped and said, " I don't believe

> that will be a problem! "

>

> who is quite done with having babies even if they are cute

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[Guest guest]

Yes, but I didn't learn this until AFTER it was over with!! Why didn't

anyone tell me this before?????

Sue

Re: OT-new baby blues

> > Penny,

> > I still had 16 hours of Dr. controlled labor. The fun kind where

> >he sayscontractions will be This close together and This strong (oh

> >fun) and 2 hours of pushing before they decided to go c-section with

> >the first one!<<<

>

>

> Sue-

>

> ugh.

>

> I do believe induced is worse, from what I've heard....

>

> Penny

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

>>>Call me shallow, but I just can't give anymore

> without withering away........ and now this is making me sad LOL!!!

<<<

>

> Grace

Oh Grace - That's not shallow at all!! I think it's a perfectly valid

position, and I do understand it. I would not want to bring another

Autistic child into this world either. The world is not a very nice

place for those who do not meet the " standards " .

My son is NT (well, that's debatable, but...lol) and I did not take

advantage of his NT'ness by parenting him in the way he should have

been parented. I took it for granted. So, I do understand what you

feel you are missing. I had it, and didn't do as I should have. I

don't blame myself because I really didn't know any better. But I do

now.

Anyway, my point is. You are not shallow. You are honest and your

feelings are perfectly valid, for what it's worth coming from me.

Penny :-)

[Guest guest]

>

>

> and guess what? I forgot to mention the carpal tunnel syndrome...

every morning from five months on I would wake up, drape my arms over

the side of the bed one at a time, and shake my hands until the blood

came back...

>

Ahhhh...the memories...Bleeding throughout the entire pregnancy,

constant indigestion, and wearing splints on both hands for the

carpel tunnel. Not being able to get comfortable, always having to

pee, no coffee, no alcohol, no soda....Having to WAIT in the waiting

room FOREVER before my ultrasound (you know, after drinking a gallon

of water), oh etc., etc.

No wonder I didn't enjoy being pregnant.

Penny :-(

[Guest guest]

> TWENTY?!?!?!?! Wow, she must have had kids and grandkids the same

>age?

> le

Wow le -

I never thought of that! I'm sure she did.

These were all natural births to one mother, btw. Ouch.

And I think there were just 2 sets of twins.

Penny

[Guest guest]

> My son is NT (well, that's debatable, but...lol) and I did not take

> advantage of his NT'ness by parenting him in the way he should have

> been parented. I took it for granted. So, I do understand what you

> feel you are missing. I had it, and didn't do as I should have. I

> don't blame myself because I really didn't know any better. But I do

> now.

>

Penny, I understand this feeling. I could never claim that I did everything

right by my kids, but, I can honestly say that whatever I did wrong was

because I really didn't know better. I always wonder how much of their odd

behaviors, or their tendency to love videos <for instance> has to do with

shabby parenting from me, or autism's obsessive nature. Feeding issues

too..... did I let them limit their food intake too much because I was too

lazy to keep on trying, or did I really feel like it was a lost cause as

they were adamant? Had I really pushed the issue, would they not be eating

spaghetti today? On and on and on....

> Anyway, my point is. You are not shallow. You are honest and your

> feelings are perfectly valid, for what it's worth coming from me.

It's worth more than you could know.

Grace

>

> Penny :-)

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

> > > > refuse to have a baby younger than my first grandchild

> > >

> > > lol, THAT would be ahem...kinda well, funny.

> >

> >

> > But it does happen

>

> I wouldn't mind it happening to us...but then again, my daughter is only 6

> and she is my oldest, lol. I have several years to think about htis:)

> le

le,

It's a good thing you wouldn't mind because you are young enough for it to

happen!

Sue, whose dh is getting snipped in January.

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