when nada pretends to care

[Guest guest]

Dear KOs,

Yesterday I got looped in with a nada email--it's an angle we

haven't discussed much on the board. Nada was feeling hoover-y, and

she wrote a message asking for an update on a particular event in my

life. It was an item I ordered that she knows about, that hasn't

come in the mail. It's a fairly nada safe topic, so I wrote her

back about the extreme frustration I had that it hadn't come in yet.

Silly me! The little girl in me was expecting a reply. Even after

all this time, a part of me still wanted nada to w/b with something

motherlike. Such as, those jerks! (Tee hee). Or, I'm sorry you

have to go through that. Or just SOME sortof acknowledgement of the

situation in a normal communication. In the way she brought up the

topic, it seems like she would know how to do that. She doesn't

though! She never wrote back of course. She just wanted to write

it, to show HERSELF that she was a 'mother', and then she wanted me

to write back in some manner that kept her from feeling rejected.

She had no actual interest in the item I had ordered or any

discomfort the process may be causing me.

I hate it! That there are kids in me who get roped in still when

nada asks about my life in that sugary sweet tone. The thing is, I

have seen her communicate with other people, especially my split

good siblings. So i KNOW she knows how, on some level.

Just wanted to share that frustration. There is NOTHING a nada does

that helps her children. Literally every word she says to you is

about her, centered on exploitation or abuse, with no regard for who

you are or what you need. It would be good if everyone could

comprehend that.

Charlie