Guest guest Posted November 2, 2001 Report Share Posted November 2, 2001 Thank God.... I'd pick her up when they were done... But I'd let them put a very big scare into her too... A 14 year old doesn't need to be around the element at a juvy Just my 2 cents Ron Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2001 Report Share Posted November 2, 2001 I am so glad to hear she's been found, safe and sound. I know this will sound harsh, but . . . take it from a former 14-year-old runaway who lived on the streets until I turned 16 . . . the longer you let her sit in processing . . . the stronger your message of " intolerance " towards this type of behavior will be. I ran away constantly as a teen. It wasn't until I had to spend the night with the real ruffians in a kiddie jail that I straightened up. BJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2001 Report Share Posted November 2, 2001 Thank GOD she was found, safely. Where on earth did she spend the night? As for what to do, I have never been on your side of the fence, although I have run away from home before. What I think I would do is run to her, hug her, kiss her, and slobber all over her.... tell her I love her, and then I'd kill her. The one time I ran away from home, my mother didn't look for me. I was away for three days, she never once sent the cops out for me, and as far as I was concerned, wasn't even panicked. I had skipped school to run away with the car, and went to a friend's house. Three days passed, I was getting mighty sick of living with my friend by then, and was pissed as all hell at my cold, evil mother. I knew she was evil, she was the devil herself, I thought. I came home, stormed in through the door and told her she was the only mother on earth who would not look for her daughter for three days, and that I hate her. She quietly asked me why I had come home, and why I hadn't just lived at the Parks' house if I hated her so much? Turns out that damn Mrs. Park called minutes after I had arrived and ruined all of my plans. I had asked her specifically not to do so, and she had told me even more specifically that she would not... and here she backstabbed me. Ugh. LOL Never did run away from home again. I don't remember what I left for, but whatever it was, it didn't go my way anyhow. Grace Re: OMG - na? > > > In a message dated 11/2/2001 4:42:54 PM Eastern Standard Time, > vtwelch@... writes: > > > > Do they understand about histrionics and melodrama? Do they know the > > martyrdom that is a fourteen year old girl? Should I allow them to take > > her to juvie or should I insist that she be brought right home so I can > > deal with her myself? > > > > Assuming she is doing this on purpose and they find her and bring her > > home.... how does one greet their child who purposely ran away and hid for > > over 24 hours (so far)? > > > > That is all I have right now. > > > > Love to all, > > > > > > > > > > Oh .... > My heart goes out to you... > Ron > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2001 Report Share Posted November 2, 2001 Thank you all so much for your good thoughts and support. na was found, safe and sound, hanging out at the mall with the boy who was also missing. The cops picked her up. I had received a call from a boy who said he saw na near the mall with Cody. When I said this out loud, started running out of the house. I called Cody's parents and the school officer. Then a girl called back and said she was with the boy who saw na and she gave me more details. I called Cody's mom and told her the details and her husband called the school officer and then, while I was on the phone, they reached the area in question and it was surrounded by police cars and the police managed to close in and capture both kids. Of course doesn't have a cell phone and I had no way of telling him what was going on. I also had no way of telling him where the kids were being taken or where to pick them up. By the time I finally got in touch with him they had already taken na down to the youth center for processing. When should we go pick her up? Now? tomorrow? a few hours from now? is home now. I'll give more details later. Thank you all so much for being there for me. Smiles! 37 year old wife to , 41 Mom to: na-14-NT Marilla-8-Autistic Sherman-7-Autistic Greilyn-2-NT (so far) " It is never too late to start from where you are. The future is whatever you want it to be. " Dr. , Port Re: OMG - na? In a message dated 11/2/2001 4:42:54 PM Eastern Standard Time, vtwelch@... writes: > Do they understand about histrionics and melodrama? Do they know the > martyrdom that is a fourteen year old girl? Should I allow them to take > her to juvie or should I insist that she be brought right home so I can > deal with her myself? > > Assuming she is doing this on purpose and they find her and bring her > home.... how does one greet their child who purposely ran away and hid for > over 24 hours (so far)? > > That is all I have right now. > > Love to all, > > > > Oh .... My heart goes out to you... Ron Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2001 Report Share Posted November 2, 2001 My hard-line self says pick her up tomorrow. But I couldn't do that. I would like to think that I'd let her cool her heels at the authorities for a few hours before picking her up. If I were in your situation, that's what I would most want to do. But in the end, I'd probably rush down there immediately, carried by waves of relief. Let us know what you decided and how it went! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2001 Report Share Posted November 2, 2001 : I came tagging in on the happy ending. Thank goodness she was found! I can't imagine how terrified you must have been (I ran away once with no more excuse than it seemed like a fun thing to do; now that I am a parent I think I should have been strangled...) As for the cop's comments, does he have children? Specifically girls? Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2001 Report Share Posted November 2, 2001 I, like Salli hadn't replied to your original message...I'm so glad that the happy ending happened so quickly... (inAus) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2001 Report Share Posted November 2, 2001 , I am so relieved. I can only imagine how good it feels to know that she is safe and sound. I hope you and your husband figure out a plan as to when to pick her up. Good luck:) Jacquie H > Thank you all so much for your good thoughts and support. > > na was found, safe and sound, hanging out at the mall with the boy who was also missing. The cops picked her up. > > I had received a call from a boy who said he saw na near the mall with Cody. When I said this out loud, started running out of the house. I called Cody's parents and the school officer. Then a girl called back and said she was with the boy who saw na and she gave me more details. I called Cody's mom and told her the details and her husband called the school officer and then, while I was on the phone, they reached the area in question and it was surrounded by police cars and the police managed to close in and capture both kids. > > Of course doesn't have a cell phone and I had no way of telling him what was going on. I also had no way of telling him where the kids were being taken or where to pick them up. By the time I finally got in touch with him they had already taken na down to the youth center for processing. > > When should we go pick her up? Now? tomorrow? a few hours from now? > > is home now. I'll give more details later. > > Thank you all so much for being there for me. > > Smiles! > > > 37 year old wife to , 41 > Mom to: > na-14-NT > Marilla-8-Autistic > Sherman-7-Autistic > Greilyn-2-NT (so far) > > " It is never too late to start from where you are. The future is whatever you want it to be. " Dr. , Port > > > Re: OMG - na? > > > In a message dated 11/2/2001 4:42:54 PM Eastern Standard Time, > vtwelch@h... writes: > > > > Do they understand about histrionics and melodrama? Do they know the > > martyrdom that is a fourteen year old girl? Should I allow them to take > > her to juvie or should I insist that she be brought right home so I can > > deal with her myself? > > > > Assuming she is doing this on purpose and they find her and bring her > > home.... how does one greet their child who purposely ran away and hid for > > over 24 hours (so far)? > > > > That is all I have right now. > > > > Love to all, > > > > > > > > > > Oh .... > My heart goes out to you... > Ron > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2001 Report Share Posted November 2, 2001 , The first time my sister ran away, my mother picked her up right away. The second time, she made her sit in the juvie over night. Let na know what will happen the next time. She needs to be as scared as you have been for the last day. I am terribly sorry this had to happen. Was she threatening to do it or was it a whim? My sister threatened for days, so it was not a huge surprise. My thoughts are with you. Let me know if I can do anything. Amy H Kepler 4 ASD and Bethany 6 NT " There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, that it behooves all of us not to talk about the rest of us. " ~ Louis son _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 3, 2001 Report Share Posted November 3, 2001 What a relief. I sat down to read mail this morning and had to scroll to the end of my mails to make sure she was safe. How horrifying. I am so happy she is okay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 3, 2001 Report Share Posted November 3, 2001 >As for the cop's comments, does he have children? Specifically girls? No, but I think that he should be blessed with lots of beautiful and wayward girls.... and maybe a few autistic ones as well. Smiles! 37 year old wife to , 41 Mom to: na-14-NT Marilla-8-Autistic Sherman-7-Autistic Greilyn-2-NT (so far) " It is never too late to start from where you are. The future is whatever you want it to be. " Dr. , Port Re: OMG - na? : I came tagging in on the happy ending. Thank goodness she was found! I can't imagine how terrified you must have been (I ran away once with no more excuse than it seemed like a fun thing to do; now that I am a parent I think I should have been strangled...) As for the cop's comments, does he have children? Specifically girls? Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 3, 2001 Report Share Posted November 3, 2001 , I am way behind on the emails. I am so glad na was found. She might be safer if she stayed with the authorities! I don't know what I would do if I were you. You seem to have handled the whole situation quite well. You are a strong lady. ===== Ginger, wife to Jeff 14 ADD 9 Autistic 7 NT __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 3, 2001 Report Share Posted November 3, 2001 In a message dated 11/2/2001 6:55:18 PM Eastern Standard Time, vtwelch@... writes: > Thank you all so much for being there for me. > > Smiles! > Lord have mercy!!!! So glad she's been found safe and sound!! ******Terry****** Wife to: Ron Mom to: Alec 10, NVLD - Sam 4, Autism - Abbie 3, PDD-NOS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 4, 2001 Report Share Posted November 4, 2001 > Why doesn't the school call an assembly and explain the real dangers out there! > > HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA - Sorry - HS politics would not allow such a thing. IMHO. Penny - Survivor of the " teenage HS years " , ugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 4, 2001 Report Share Posted November 4, 2001 > Thank you all so much for your good thoughts and support. > > na was found, safe and sound, hanging out at the mall with the boy who was also missing. The cops picked her up. > Thank Goodness. Have you killed her yet? this is a tough one . I think all you can do is tell her that you are there for her if she wants to talk. I wouldn't cave, cuz that's not what she's looking for. She needs boundaries, which is sounds like you've got covered, and she will thank you 10 years down the road. Just my 2 cents. Penny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 4, 2001 Report Share Posted November 4, 2001 > A 14 year old doesn't need to be around the element at a juvy > > Just my 2 cents > > Ron Agreed! Penny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 4, 2001 Report Share Posted November 4, 2001 Well now Grace - Sounds like both Mrs. Parks and your Mom played their cards juuuust right. What good mommies! Penny :-) <chuckle> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 5, 2001 Report Share Posted November 5, 2001 > No, but I think that he should be blessed with lots of beautiful and wayward girls.... and maybe a few autistic ones as well. Let's say nine or ten? Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 5, 2001 Report Share Posted November 5, 2001 Jacquie, I wanted to leave her there overnight. We were planning to leave her there overnight. My thought was that at least I could get a good night's sleep knowing that she was safe and sound and not have to worry for a night about her leaving in the middle of the night. But we live in the land of Oz. Allow me to illustrate: In the normal world if a boy and girl run away together and are picked up by the police, normally they are taken to separate facilities and locked up in a secure environment until their parents decide to pick them up. If they should spend the night in this secure environment, they are locked in. Neither child is treated sweetly or with great respect. In the Land of Oz the same boy and girl are taken together to a youth detention center where they are asked to sign a paper promising not to touch each other. They are allowed to stay together in the large recreation room. They are allowed to sit together at the dinner table. At night they are led to separate rooms in separate halls and put to bed. But the doors are not locked. And nobody is watching the doors. We had to go get her and take her home. We were not pleased. I am sure that I am supposed to have had an emotional " hug hug weep weep " " Don't you ever scare me like that again! " scene, but the era of psychological wisdom that I grew up with was, " don't say it if you don't feel it. " I heard her out in the hall being told that her parents were here and she says (flatly), " Oh, Fun. " She came in with her arms crossed and her face in a sullen mask and I just did not feel like jumping up and squealing with joy that she was safe and sound. I had known she was safe and sound for hours by that time already and so it wasn't some great surprise; and I couldn't act as if it were. Sorry if this makes me a meanie, but I think it also makes me honest, too. We have talked and we have gone over details and now I have the perfect comment for her crossed arms and sullen face that is currently working to break her out of that mode: I call her a hermit crab and she giggles. she has acknowledged that she might not have been exhibiting the cleverest behavior of her life when she ran away to avoid being put on restriction. I have to go. I am going to have to kill Sherman. He is standing here whining and crying because he wants the computer and I have it. He won't leave me alone and I am either going to have to hurt him or I am going to have to leave. I know. I will run away! I will steal a bike off the college campus and I will ride my bike to Mexico! That should solve all my problems! Smiles! 37 year old wife to , 41 Mom to: na-14-NT Marilla-8-Autistic Sherman-7-Autistic Greilyn-2-NT (so far) " It is never too late to start from where you are. The future is whatever you want it to be. " Dr. , Port Re: OMG - na? My hard-line self says pick her up tomorrow. But I couldn't do that. I would like to think that I'd let her cool her heels at the authorities for a few hours before picking her up. If I were in your situation, that's what I would most want to do. But in the end, I'd probably rush down there immediately, carried by waves of relief. Let us know what you decided and how it went! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 5, 2001 Report Share Posted November 5, 2001 Amy, It was apparently a whim. She had been complaining about her horrible parents (who threatened her life with restriction if she received even just ONE " F " on her report card) for weeks. She was dredging up every awful thing that she could imagine had ever happened to her and was parading it out for her friends, trying to find someone who would sympathize and understand why she had to run away. None of her friends would agree with her as their parents were just as unreasonable but they were smart enough to realize that having to report home before changing locations was not akin to being punched in the face or kicked across the room. She found another boy who was being used horribly by his parents (they wouldn't let him get a driver's license until he achieved a " B " average-some people!). And they insisted on picking him up after school and they insisted that he call whenever he was going to go someplace other than where they already knew he was! So they commiserated and wept together over their horrible lives and decided that they didn't have to put up with that kind of abuse! They could get married and ride stolen bikes to Mexico. He would get a job and she would finish high school there in that nice foreign country just south of the border. As I told Jacquie, I would have left her there overnight if it had been a secure facility. But since we live in a freaking fairy land (No offense to real faeries; I am referring to Fairy Tale land, of course <S>), we had to go get her. If she had stolen a few more things or had committed at least two other crimes then they could have taken her to the real juvenile detention hall. She claims that there will never be a next time. We told her some of the stories of what happens on the streets (not just what happens to pretty girls; the way people in homes treat people who live on the streets and smell bad; the way street people treat street people; the fact that as a minor the only places she could go for help would turn her in to the police.... etc). We told her that most runaways are hardened by a life of real abuse. We pointed out that most street people will not be asking her nicely to please beg for money on a different corner as they had been working that corner first and that 7-11 clerks are not going to welcome them into their bathrooms to wash and get some water to drink.... and it is a long way between 7-11's out in the desert. I don't know if she is planning to run again or if she would run again given the opportunity; but I have to assume that she will. Gotta go! Smiles! 37 year old wife to , 41 Mom to: na-14-NT Marilla-8-Autistic Sherman-7-Autistic Greilyn-2-NT (so far) " It is never too late to start from where you are. The future is whatever you want it to be. " Dr. , Port Re: OMG - na? , The first time my sister ran away, my mother picked her up right away. The second time, she made her sit in the juvie over night. Let na know what will happen the next time. She needs to be as scared as you have been for the last day. I am terribly sorry this had to happen. Was she threatening to do it or was it a whim? My sister threatened for days, so it was not a huge surprise. My thoughts are with you. Let me know if I can do anything. Amy H Kepler 4 ASD and Bethany 6 NT " There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, that it behooves all of us not to talk about the rest of us. " ~ Louis son _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 5, 2001 Report Share Posted November 5, 2001 You know, Ron, I do kind of agree with what you say here. She has never been exposed to the kind of violence that most juvie kids take as a matter of course. She has no idea what the real world is like. we tell her as much as we can, but being told about being suddenly attacked by a gang of about 5 guys - three of whom hold your boyfriend at bay and beat him up and the other two concentrating on you - is just not the same as experiencing it. I have asked her why she would want to put herself in a position to increase her chances of getting punched? grabbed her by the wrist to illustrate how easily she could be captured and thrown around. He just held her wrist (and took care not to break or grind anything) and let her try to get away. Then we pointed out that she couldn't get away from an overweight out of shape middle aged man - how did she expect to get away from a younger, stronger and meaner man? There is a school for bad kids here. We haven't discussed it, but I am not keen on the idea that the only way to keep her safe in a public school is to put her in with criminal kids and runaways! Even if the authorities here don't think their juvenile criminals are " all that bad " . We want her to be aware of the dangers, but I still want to protect her from the worst of it. I am afraid that protecting her from the knowledge of the seedier elements of the world is going to cause her to go running into the street life with no idea what she is getting into! But I still don't want to have to tell her about the worst of what life on the streets is about. So we are telling her some and leaving out the rest. If the Utah juvie had been a lock-down, we would have left her there; but if we were in Florida, I might have had to think about it a little harder before planning to leave her there. Why does this have to be so hard? I go to so much trouble to raise a kid I can talk to and sing with and explain stuff to; and still I get a kid who is put upon so badly that she must run away rather than endure her life at home. Smiles! 37 year old wife to , 41 Mom to: na-14-NT Marilla-8-Autistic Sherman-7-Autistic Greilyn-2-NT (so far) " It is never too late to start from where you are. The future is whatever you want it to be. " Dr. , Port Re: OMG - na? Thank God.... I'd pick her up when they were done... But I'd let them put a very big scare into her too... A 14 year old doesn't need to be around the element at a juvy Just my 2 cents Ron Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 5, 2001 Report Share Posted November 5, 2001 BJ If your parents had talked to you and made you admit what was wrong with your plans, and if they had set it up so that you couldn't even go to the bathroom without someone standing outside the door waiting for you.... etc, etc, would you have quit running or grabbed your first opportunity? Were you really in a harsh home? or did you just think you were? I am very curious. I never ran away; but I didn't have to. I had gone to a great deal of trouble to earn trust and my mom had too much to worry about to fret over a kid who always came home and passed from one grade to the next with little trouble. Smiles! 37 year old wife to , 41 Mom to: na-14-NT Marilla-8-Autistic Sherman-7-Autistic Greilyn-2-NT (so far) " It is never too late to start from where you are. The future is whatever you want it to be. " Dr. , Port Re: OMG - na? I am so glad to hear she's been found, safe and sound. I know this will sound harsh, but . . . take it from a former 14-year-old runaway who lived on the streets until I turned 16 . . . the longer you let her sit in processing . . . the stronger your message of " intolerance " towards this type of behavior will be. I ran away constantly as a teen. It wasn't until I had to spend the night with the real ruffians in a kiddie jail that I straightened up. BJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 6, 2001 Report Share Posted November 6, 2001 While I am terribly relieved, although I am sure much less than you, that na has been returned safe and sound to you, I perfectly understand your desire for a short vacation elsewhere. Might I suggest that you join Salli and I in Outer Mongolia in our yurt while we drink tea and yak's milk? Under present circumstances we plan on leaving immmediately as soon as we are able to secure suitable replacements for ourselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 6, 2001 Report Share Posted November 6, 2001 Salli and I Make that Salli and ME. Yeesh! Salli and me. Not I. Me. I yi yi. It is definitely time to go to bed. who is very tired physically and emotionally after day four in Chris's current manic phase. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 6, 2001 Report Share Posted November 6, 2001 > as soon as we are able to secure suitable replacements for ourselves. < sorry monique, can't be done. you two are one of a kind love gina, who's feeling a bit like yogi berra " Isn't it wonderful how each of us on this earth was created just a little bit different? " - Linus " I gave up trying to understand people long ago. Now I just let them try to understand me. " - Snoopy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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