Thank you Katrina

[Guest guest]

I know- I guess that is why we have this group? So we can help each other

through. It isn't easy- outsiders even close friends do not condone going

NC with your own parents and family, but come on what are we supposed to do?

I go back and forth with it and think just suck it up- go back to your

" place " in the family. That is your place, too bad you didn't chose it, but

it is your destiny. I should love and honor my parents no matter what.

Then I think- no no no. Go and find your own friends Dad- we already had so

much time t/g. I gave you so much attention, I tried to give you what you

want, I needed you so much and it got to a point where you didn't even have

the answers anymore. So here I am out here on my own. Just get your own

life!

So yes, I feel like I should at least write back or give him a little

attention b/c he isn't mean spirited it is just his nature. But then I am

like no b/c it is so toxic to me at a level I don't even realize. For the

first time in forever I got up today and said hey what do I want to do with

the rest of my life? It took me 1.5 hours to think what I might like to do

tomorrow instead of my stupid job in corporate America. That means I don't

know myself- that voice inside is scared it doesn't know how to answer.

That is frightening!

So going forward NC will help that voice get stronger b/c there will be less

noise keeping it quiet. That is why NC and blocking toxic ppl is

important. I love learning this. It is SO hard.

Thanks for writing back!

b

>

> Hi Bridget

> " He doesn't GET IT. He just thinks she is my baby and I will send

> her photos and she'll call me again. It breaks my heart. "

>

> I can so relate. I recently had a short phone conversation w fada, bc I

> need advise about my car. I felt the same way. I felt sorry for him, but

> there is nothing I can do for him. on the phone, I mentioned that I have

> been nc and I hope he understands, but that I have been so damaged by all of

> them in the foo, that I need time. He gave me a short lecture on the

> importance of being nice to people. he wants me to email someone in the foo

> who had a birthday last week. I don't care, that person has not in the last

> 10 years paid attention to me or my birthday. According to fada, it is my

> responsibility to be nice and mend relationships w people.

>

> I got off the phone, but I felt so bewildered and guilty and wierd, is

> this FOG? What was I feeling? whatever it was, it felt wierd.

> And made me all the more appreciative of being nc, i wish i had gone nc

> as a teenager and emancipated myself, i would have been eligable for a

> foster family.

>

> How can someone like fada get to his age and not understand that it

> takes more to make a relationship than just to keep sending someone emails

> for their birthday (or in your case, photos of the superbowl)?? I just

> don't get them.

>

> Katrina.

>

>

> ---------------------------------

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>

>