Yeti-Spotting (reply to Kerrie's post)

[Guest guest]

Hi Kerri et al,

As I read your post I couldn't get out of my mind just what a different

perspective my Yeti has about things.

Her reaction to her 3rd and youngest (guess who) was rather different

from what you were writing about. She didn't have a section and (coz

she'd had 2 before) got on the epidural nice and early. Bravery reduces

with experience. You know what ensued for the next few hours.

<few hours later>

New baby handed to Yeti. And she was told that it was a boy. (She wanted

a daughter).

" I guess I could look after him til he's old enough to get the dole " ....

and one of the nurses just about fainted.

Can you spot the Yeti?

Send instant messages to your online friends http://au.messenger.yahoo.com

[Guest guest]

,

Yes, my mom wanted me to be a boy and so I can relate to varying

degrees. Were you born in 1971 too? I noticed it in your email addy.

To hear my nada talk about the day I was born has always been clearly

the worst day of her life. A few years ago when I started getting

super healthy and understanding bpd, I made her tell the story of my

birth from a different perspective- from a happy perspective. It

about killed her- I mean emotionally as she just started crying and

crying and crying when she got past all the anger and hurt and

thought back of the first time she met me. I knew she was sincere,

but I also realized why she has such a hard time expressing anything

besides anger. All other emotions are so alien to their make-up that

it just overwhelms them to the point where they are lost. I've gotten

glimpses like that as I'm sure we all have of our nadas at various

times- a more true image of their soul though its always fleeting.

Anger is so much easier for them. But it was good for me to hear none-

the-less.

Now that I have my own children, there's no way my son will know the

whole shabang of his birth. While it was unquestionably the best and

worst day of my life, he will only know it as the best day of my life

(and yes it was the worst b/c I'd been so close to stroking out a few

times and absolutely horrified for the baby towards the end and just

feeling like I'd had the absolute $hit kicked out of me- mac truck

running over me feeling). And it was. Truly as bad as it all was,

there's nothing I can ever say to fully explain the awe and amazement

when I held him that first 24 hours. It was so bizarre and so

beautiful and so not instictual but more like a dance of getting to

know you. I couldn't sleep even (I'd had one hour of sleep before my

water broke at 1am and then he was born midnight 24 hours later and I

still didn't sleep until about 10am the next day- the first day of

his life. I was too excited to get to know him and just look at him

and hug him and love him and I was the same w/our second son- just in

awe and amazement over this new little person)I fell more and more

inlove w/him each day and he will only know about how much of a

blessing it was to have him enter our world. Every child deserves to

hear that from their parents- to know that no matter how bad their

day is or how sucky life can be, there is at least one person on the

planet that will always say the best day of my life was the day you

entered the world. And I will say that to all my kids- how did I get

so lucky to end up w/you for a son or daughter?

And in so far as the gender thing, oh my. I don't even want to get

started on that one. I get so pissed when people see that we have two

sons and say 'are you going to try again for a girl?' UGH! As though

parenting were all about me!?! As though this road down parentlane is

about me having the experience of raising a boy and a girl. That's so

unbelievably self centered and self serving of a vast number of

people today- those even w/o bpd. Children are not objects put on

earth to fulfill the parent's desire to experience the joys of

raising a boy and a girl. I mean to say, I get really disgusted on

this other parenting board that I belong to that actually has a

thread called 'disappointed in gender'. I've never gone on it and

read the posts and won't. I am only too sure I'd start lambasting

everyone for their utter ingratitude for the children they have. I'm

sure on some level I may have wished our second son to have been a

girl, but now that he's here, I would never dream of thinking those

thoughts. I am so glad he's a boy b/c I'm so glad he's who he is-

regardless of gender. Not sure if that makes sense. I mean I may have

a hair of desire of a particular gender b/c of my own curiosity, but

in the end I trust that the child I get is the one I'm suppose to

have and that my job as a parent is to help that child be all that he

or she can be w/what they are given. If our third one, if we are so

blessed to be able to have a third one, is another boy, I would feel

as happy as if it were a girl for the simple reason I see my sons as

different individuals before I see them as boys. Don't get me wrong,

they are all boy, but they are unique individuals first and foremost

in mommy's eyes. They are loved for who they are first and foremost,

not for what they bring to the table.

Kerrie

>

> Hi Kerri et al,

> As I read your post I couldn't get out of my mind just what a

different

> perspective my Yeti has about things.

> Her reaction to her 3rd and youngest (guess who) was rather

different

> from what you were writing about. She didn't have a section and (coz

> she'd had 2 before) got on the epidural nice and early. Bravery

reduces

> with experience. You know what ensued for the next few hours.

> <few hours later>

> New baby handed to Yeti. And she was told that it was a boy. (She

wanted

> a daughter).

> " I guess I could look after him til he's old enough to get the

dole " ....

> and one of the nurses just about fainted.

> Can you spot the Yeti?

>

>

>

> Send instant messages to your online friends

http://au.messenger.yahoo.com

>