Friends and colleagues with eating disorders

[Guest guest]

Digna,

I would be pleased if you added a link to your website!

One of my missions with my work is to reduce the stigma attached to eating disorders so that people can talk about them as they might talk about their diabetes or hypertension. They have a very strong biological component that is no one's fault, and people who are prone to ED's tend to be drawn to professions where they may, consciously or subconsciously, be searching for answers for themselves. That's not right or wrong, it's just human nature.

I was reminded of my mission today while working. I was listening to NPR. One of our local, very well respected, news reporters on this station did a story on his own journey with bipolar disorder. He's had it for over 20 years, but this is the first time he ever spoke publicly about it. It was the most incredible story. The phone lines were flooded with calls of support. I wished that this could be the same for my colleagues with ED's. It only gives ED's power to be ashamed of them.

I actually purposely do NOT use the word eating disorder anywhere on my site except for the one page devoted to eating disorders. There is such a stigma related to them, if you try to talk about them directly most people withdraw. Instead, my page is designed so that there are several "entry points" so to speak, and most of them are medical issues related to ED's. From there I work backwards to show how disordered eating can be related to things such as irritable bowel, chronic pain, and infertility. The SBA flat out told me the approach wouldn't work...I can't wait to go back and tell them it's working in two different languages!

Anyway, a pretty significant percentage of my website visitors are dietitians with PCOS, ED's, etc. So many when they initially write are "embarrassed to admit" that they have PCOS. Why? It's a hormone imbalance, like you WANTED that? I am hoping my conference will help attendees sort through the research and come away inspired and empowered and WANTING TO TALK ABOUT THIS ISSUE!!!

That's why I finally started the "help for helpers" list because it was clear that there needed to be a safe place for people with eating issues and who work with food to begin to talk. But...that's for people who recognize that this is the problem.

When someone has not disclosed and you are merely observing, it's more difficult to make the call. My rule since I work with this and am probably hypersensitive to it, is to not say anything except in 2 conditions: (1) if I am asked, (2) if it is interfering with my own life. In other words, if the behavior impairs my ability to run my business (because balls have been dropped in my lap), if it is causing enough anxiety or stress that my concentration or mood are affected, etc, I say something. An ED is not just about food, it is a disorder of relating to people as well. To allow it to interfere or to force you to accommodate it...only encourages the dysfunction to grow. It only stops growing when people don't give it situations where it can thrive.

That is why mostly, I merely model healthy boundaries and do not allow myself to be cajoled into facilitating the ED. I wouldn't schedule an employee a longer lunch because she needed more time to exercise, for example. She would have to perform the job as specified or lose the job.

I don't know if that is helping you at all...but it's my thoughts as I read your e-mail.

Good luck,

Monika M. Woolsey, MS, RDhttp://www.afterthediet.comPolycystic Ovary Syndrome: The Perfect Endocrine StormTucson, Arizona, April 24-25, 2004