Nada's projections

[Guest guest]

I feel that I have become so shut down that I do not know anything

about myself. I need to journal and explore who this person really is

inside.

Nada's projections onto me were definitely mirrors of what she wanted

and felt about herself. It is just too spooky.

And yes, nada very beautiful and vain. She dresses so differently from

the other women in the town she has moved to (there five years now)

that she sticks out like a sore thumb. And she loves the attention

that she gets from her clothes. One point is that she NEVER wears

slacks in public, always a long skirt and very dressy sweaters or

blouses. She always looks so elegant and braggs to me how the men

really admire how she dresses (she is 85. I finally came to the

conclusion that she dresses to receive attention (especially from

men). You know this sounds kinda silly; who would not want to be an

elegant dresser at age 85? It is just the whole package that goes with

it.

And always always comments about her weight (she stays very thin) and

how " you really need to lose weght " and WHEN I do lose weight, she

turns it into something cruel and negative. " I cannot believe you have

waited so long to lose fat " blah blah blah

And yes, many cruel and hateful things projected onto an innocent child

who still carries those stupid rocks around with her.

I am in NC with nada presently and I do have guilt about NC; it simply

boiled down to my daily survival versus her abuse. Thanks for

listening, mg