Hi , I need council!

[Guest guest]

Hi , hope you're doing good. I'll pray for you since

I've read you're a littler sick. Well I had an aweful experience

and was my second time with pot or my first with cripy, cripy is

cannabis with crak. My first experience with cannabis I used a

small or regular amount I'm not an expert so, then I didn't like it

at all, this second time I give you my word that I just don't know

why I used it. Well I've the experience already writed so I'm going

to capy/paste it.

Let me say this is the last time that I wanted to write or talk

about this feelings, because every time I'm a litler better I do

talk about it and all get worst. Not till I'm 100% fine, and have

my confidence back. I don't want to sound rude, I'm sorry if I do.

Well what I felt was, I was taking a bath and used it there. How

much? I used it 2 full sips and 3 half sips, half sips are when it

was in my mouth i cought. So it start itching in the upper side in

mouth. So I thought what am I doing my body s telling me that it

doesn't wanted. So I stoped. Like a minute or two I don't remember

exacly the time my first thought was it's starting. I start to see

everything strange like a huge sea-sick. Then I thought my Mind has

blown up, my mind has gone, that was the feeling, and for get it

worst then the time was gone too. Then I freak out I was terrifyied.

So I standed up and I think I call the person who gave me the crip

I called him several times and ask him what do I suppose to fell,

that if that was normal and how long it would last and I beg him to

came to my house and stay by my side. I was alone. For get things

worts my parents came so I was loked up in my room, and my mohter

ask me if I was ok, then I knew right there that I could act normal

so that scared me even more, because I then thought Ho My God out

side I look fine but inside I'm gone where am I, where is my mind,

where is my time?, I then took a look at the mirror then I saw my

pupils wide open, and i started to turn off the light and on to see

if there close and open and they didn't they stood wide opend, then

I tried to sleep and have some rest and I lay down in my bed and

close my eyes and I don't know how much time passed but I think in

real time was like less than a minute, and I did this several times.

I then was going to tell mom to take me to the hospital but I didn't

because I didn't wanted to hurt the person who gave me the drug. So

then I got the courage to go to the living room where my parents

where then I try to act the most normal posible, then I think I did

exelent that part, they didn't notice. Then the person who gave me

the drug came into my room and I say several times not to let me

alone so I felt a little realif that someone was with me and knowing

what I just did, then he told me if I was hungry and thirsty and I

said no but I notice that i was dehidrated, so I drank a lot of

whater and I ate something, then I started to walk arround my house

in circules the whole house like 5 times and that make me feel a

littler more realif so then the time pass and I kept asking the

person what time it was, like every 3 or 5 minutes for me it was

eternity hell, then I ask him how long it would last, and he told me

like 5 hours so we wait the whole time and nothing changed, I then

called my only brother ,elder for one year and couple of months, and

ask him to came to the house to be with me, and he came late at

night so when he came he took me to a bar and told me that I had to

drink alchool to feel better, then as he's my brother I trust him so

he bought me 3 drinks with orange, and I think I got drunk I

couldn't knew as I was with the hell feeling, then he drove for a

while to get me distracted and so I did for a littler but still

thinking, then lattler he took me to a happybirthday party of a

friend of him, and I feel very weird, I don't know how that was

suppose to help, maybe the distracting thing, well after that we

went home and I got to sleep. Next two day's after the firs I still

felt as much high of the hell very strong, and I examine my self and

I touched my skin the firs day and I didn't feelt it so more panic

added to the situation, then for the next three days I hit very

gentle my head and notice that some parts of my brain were drowse,

like up in the top of my ears, I felt this for the first three days

and then the fourth day it did reduce a bit, and the fifth day it

almost was gone. To my skin happend almost the same. Then the thirth

day I told my mom and we where to see the doctor she told me I was

going to be ok then i relax. Like 3 or 4 days after that I ask her

to send me to a Psychiatrist, beacuse Im the kind of person who if I

feel that something is not normal and could turn worst I ask for

help vary quikly, so what turn me to feel bad again, was that I was

still feeling the same maybe in very very less intensity and that I

started thinking that maybe I have develope a mental desease like

skisofremia, because ones I knew I guy with psquisofremia and he

scarde me because he went mad one time. So I was scared of many many

thinght and the most was that I thought I was always stay in like

that. Well I went to the psichiatrist and he told me that I did

touch madness, and a bit of scisofremia, that's where my afraid of

squisofremia begun, and I loss for a bit the reality, all those

words got me even worst. Then he gave me pills anti psycotic, and to

the panic attacks clonasepam, and to sleep clonasepam too, well . I

forgot to tell that when all started I fel my heart beatting very

fast and I tried to relax and i think I did very well, and also my

hear was sending hot blood all trough my body. Well after the

psichiatrist date I had panics atacks and also claustrofobic some

times and then the panic atacs began, when I was alone also the

panics atack, atacked me. The fifht day I told my dad what was going

on with me and I felt such a realif, but no better just a relif as

when I told my mom, All the two firts weeks I feel a huge need og

huging and love, so they gave it me. Well and I also wanted to go

to a mental hospital and my new doctor don't send me there because

he told me they wouldn't acept me because my situation was not that

bad, the true thing was that I felt I needed a time out, and as I

didn't find it I did spend two days in my room alone and that make

me felt better. I went to a second psichiatrist and he told me that

I just have a lot of ansiety and told me not to take the

antipsicotic pills, and he gave me another pills well he gave me a

pill for drepression that stimulate serotonin, and of couse as I am

very sensitive of medicines I just took the half of the lowest dose,

and I'm speaking of all pills including the firts psichiatrist, well

that pills the serotonin ones gave me a lot of panic attaks in one

night, so I didn't drank them anymore, the nex date was wiht my firs

psichiatrist and then he told me a new evaluation, that I just had a

panic trastorn o disorder, so he gave me another pills, paxil, and

guess what this pills are anti serotonin ones, and for good sleep

clonacepam, at first I had very vivid and weird dreams like te

second day I dram about an eclipse a moon one and the nex day I

didn't knew it was an ecplise, then other weird dreams, so I took

clonasepam and I dream well, after my first visit with my

psychiatrist I went to my guru and he told me he has to clean my

aura because there was an entity that he didn't knew the source so I

did what he told me and went back, he did clean me and I felt better

and I told him what de doctors said and he told me that the doctor

didn't knew what was going on and that I was going to be ok, and

that my aura got all distortionated and also that we guys, we are

different and we cannot use that kind of drugs because we are too

sensitive and they work very different in us, that we can lose

contact with reality, I think while we are high, and unknown our

selfs, but to be ok because I was going to be ok! Now its been a

month and 4 days since, and i feel better not 100% but better.

At the beginin when my space and time blew away, I did the things

that I did like look into the mirror, or walk arrownd the yard, etc,

end when I came to my bed after that, it came a thought about what I

just have done, but it look to me like it was a thought and not a

fact, I thought like did I just walked arround the house?! How many

times did i have done it?!

What I meant with time blew up > I meant that the times stoped,

and there was no time it was just now, now , now and the past, the

misutes where like hours, then days, my clock has stopped in the

first moment and it's not tick tackting anymore, it's like I can ask

for the hour right now, and days later ask again and it feels the

same as I did for the first time.

What do I meant of space blew away > is that is an eternal

present it's like right now, right now, right now, all of this feels

like a dream, like nothigs is real, like maybe I'm dead and i don't

know it, and people doesn't seems to exists, till you conect with

them.

In the first moment of the experience I felt like I was going to

have an astral proyection but I stop that feeling because I was

afraid to stay and not return.

Right now I feel like I can control a bit the feeling of space

and time and also when I lay in my bed I felt two times that I can

also control astral proyection very easy but I stoped it. I don't

have to concentrate, I just start feeling my energy and not my body

and then I don,t feel my body, but then I stoped it.

Right today I feel huge better, almost 100% but still.

I don't hear voices in my head that tell me what to do or don't,

I just recive the feelings of my guides.

At the beggining when I saw someone suffering for my situation I

fel so so bad and that did make things worst.

And of course I couldn sleep well, some days i had those aweful

night mares.

Well Chatherine, I wish you can help me with whatever information

you can, would be good and well recived.

Thank you so so much for the atention!

Blessings J. !