Re: Re: Is there something after anger?

[Guest guest]

NSB,

Wow, you really said it and said it beautifully. Especially, that

forgiveness “is a choice, not a feeling.” Thanks for saying it the way

you did.

One Non-BP Recovering Man

>

> Dear Trish,

>

> Forgiveness, IMHO is not about saying 'What you did to me is now OK'.

>

> I once heard it helps to think of it as the opposite of holding onto

> the emotions that demand reparation or acknowledgement of the wrong

> done to us. That way leaves us trapped with consequences, at the

> mercy of the cause of our pain, because they cannot or will not

> acknowledge responsibility.

>

> We can assume the power to make that acknowledgement for ourselves,

> not need to hear it from the cause. " What happened to me was wrong, I

> did not deserve it, cause it, or bring it on myself, I do deserve an

> apology/acknowledgement from that person. They are responsible for

> their actions toward me, not me. I do not have to hold on to any of

> the consequences of their actions to make that true, including my

> (justifiable) anger. It IS true and I will move on from it, whether

> they agree with my view or not. " .

>

> I see forgiveness as " I no longer harbour anger and bitterness (etc)

> toward you because of what you did, I relinquish, by choice, the

> expectation of reparation, I can be whole without it. Relinquishing

> an expectation does not change the truth of the situation. " It is a

> choice, not a feeling.

>

> Funny though, although I have adopted this view in other situations

> (and no it was not as easy as it sounds, but it did work for me) this

> is the first time I have EVER thought about it in relation to my nada!

> Until I was writing this post! WOW! I feel some serious reflection

> coming on.

>

> Probably there are some very different views out there, it seems quite

> a personal thing. Just adding my thoughts to the melting pot.

> (Received wisdom not my own by the way).

>

> Notsobewildered

>

>

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________

Yahoo! DSL – Something to write home about.

Just $16.99/mo. or less.

dsl.yahoo.com