Blue!

[Guest guest]

Hey, all,

Have to vent.

Anyone have a melancholy night last night? I was just so blue. I am ovulating

and my cycles have been beyond weird since surgery. I hate the end of the year

as it's a time I get really down on myself. At least this New Year's I didn't

beat up on myself for gaining weight <g>.

I am going to be 45 in May and it's hitting me hard now (I know, I am way too

obsessive). I feel like a failure because of all my unfinished manuscripts. I

started writing in 1997. Had another baby in 1999 after a very sick pregnancy

(spent tons of time in bed, moaning with nausea), moved in 2000, moved in 2002

(out of my beloved South Carolina) and have had my mom living with us since

2002. I do her meds, bookwork, etc as she is in stage 1 of Alzheimer's, had a

huge financial setback in 2003 and 2004 (long story). D/h says all I do for her

and him and our boys and dogs is tons of accomplishments. Having the surgery -

after chickening out in 2003, staying with my exercise program for longer than 3

months is all accomplishments.

I agree, but I feel like I need my writing for me. My sanity, my peace of mind,

my soul. Can't give much to others if I feel my reserves are depleted. I have

been told by agents and published writers I have raw talent and a great shot at

publication if I would only finish at least one novel and fine tune and edit it.

I know I have time I can squirrel away for writing when the kids are at school,

but I don't and I get down on myself for it. So, here it is 2005, I am smack

dab in the middle of middle age and feeling down. Down on myself.

Over-eating and over-spending are out so I guess it's time to face self and get

cracking if this is what I really want.

I threw away the people kick-me sign 14 years ago and threw away most of the

self-kick sign a long time ago, too. Guess it's time to get rid of the rest of

it.

Having a chest cold doesn't help my mood and it will go away, but I just had to

vent about all this blueness.

My mom and I are re-decorating my house with stuff we own (her stuff and mine)

and that helps, but I really need to write today. I even have my notebook (in

which I make hand notes) right next to my computer to put on the computer. I

have a published author in New Zealand (she writes for Silhouettes) that is

waiting for some chapters. She has worked with me about 3 years and has never

given up on me - she is so patient. As is my critique partner in ton.

Then I look at the tragedy in the Indian Ocean and tell myself to just Get Over

Myself!!! To see my protein Starbucks Latte as half full and not half empty

<g>.

Well, thanks for letting me vent.

Hugs to all,

year I haven't beaten

Happy New Years!!!

Happy New Years friends. It's been a few days since I have posted.

I've been lurking! I'm in LA today returning back to Palm Springs

Sunday evening. I hope you all had a great New Years Eve!

I went and saw a great movie, " Ray " . I've been wanting to see it for

quite a while. I was surprised to see it was playing in only one

theater. I bought the soundtrack cd a few weeks ago and it is awesome.

The movei WAS AWESOME! Foxx, whom I have never really cared

for, was AWESOME in the title role. He had the accent and singing

mannerism perfectly! If you shut your eyes you'd swear that it was

Ray singing. Ray is one of my all time favorites! Didn't know

though that he was so heavily into drugs and a womanizer! I swear you

go through all kinds of emotions in this movie! You laugh, you cry,

you get deeply and emotionally involved. And to know that Ray

was personally involved in the making of the movie makes the

revolations even that much more awesome.

Foxx really deserves the academy award, so does the movie and

support actors. I was on the edge of my seat the whole way!

What did you all do NY Eve? Today I am meeting a large group of

friends and the event is called " Chat Bowl " (chatroom bowling).

Should be a lot of fun. Then we are going to dinner at Jerry's Deli

on Ventura Blvd. in North Hollywood. If any of you want to join us

bowling, we'll be at Prinz Bowl at 1:30PM. It's located near

Coldwater Canyon and Ventura Blvd. (behind Jerry's Deli). What are

you all doing today?

Well, talk to you soon! (((((((hugs))))))))

Leonard

To visit your group on the web, go to:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/GastricBypass-LOSERS/

[Guest guest]

Yep...me too. I told my therapist that I refused to go out on New

Year's since I would have been alone--I think that would have been

worse than staying in as I did.

I get this way around Christmas and it ends right after New Year's. I

simply don't get that warm and fuzzy feeling many people get this time

of year. Next Christmas I hope to be somewhere warm and tropical. Or

at least warm.

No worries sweetness...I think a LOT of people get this way, surgery

or not!

> Hey, all,

>

> Have to vent.

>

> Anyone have a melancholy night last night? I was just so blue. I

am ovulating and my cycles have been beyond weird since surgery. I

hate the end of the year as it's a time I get really down on myself.

At least this New Year's I didn't beat up on myself for gaining weight

<g>.

>

> I am going to be 45 in May and it's hitting me hard now (I know, I

am way too obsessive). I feel like a failure because of all my

unfinished manuscripts. I started writing in 1997. Had another baby

in 1999 after a very sick pregnancy (spent tons of time in bed,

moaning with nausea), moved in 2000, moved in 2002 (out of my beloved

South Carolina) and have had my mom living with us since 2002. I do

her meds, bookwork, etc as she is in stage 1 of Alzheimer's, had a

huge financial setback in 2003 and 2004 (long story). D/h says all I

do for her and him and our boys and dogs is tons of accomplishments.

Having the surgery - after chickening out in 2003, staying with my

exercise program for longer than 3 months is all accomplishments.

>

> I agree, but I feel like I need my writing for me. My sanity, my

peace of mind, my soul. Can't give much to others if I feel my

reserves are depleted. I have been told by agents and published

writers I have raw talent and a great shot at publication if I would

only finish at least one novel and fine tune and edit it. I know I

have time I can squirrel away for writing when the kids are at school,

but I don't and I get down on myself for it. So, here it is 2005, I

am smack dab in the middle of middle age and feeling down. Down on

myself.

>

> Over-eating and over-spending are out so I guess it's time to face

self and get cracking if this is what I really want.

>

> I threw away the people kick-me sign 14 years ago and threw away

most of the self-kick sign a long time ago, too. Guess it's time to

get rid of the rest of it.

>

> Having a chest cold doesn't help my mood and it will go away, but I

just had to vent about all this blueness.

>

> My mom and I are re-decorating my house with stuff we own (her stuff

and mine) and that helps, but I really need to write today. I even

have my notebook (in which I make hand notes) right next to my

computer to put on the computer. I have a published author in New

Zealand (she writes for Silhouettes) that is waiting for some

chapters. She has worked with me about 3 years and has never given up

on me - she is so patient. As is my critique partner in ton.

>

> Then I look at the tragedy in the Indian Ocean and tell myself to

just Get Over Myself!!! To see my protein Starbucks Latte as half

full and not half empty <g>.

>

> Well, thanks for letting me vent.

>

> Hugs to all,

>

>

[Guest guest]

hugs to you victoria...

venting is a WONDERFUL thing...

LOVE YOU !

hope your day gets better!

more hugsssss

Peach

> Hey, all,

>

> Have to vent.

>

> Anyone have a melancholy night last night? I was just so blue. I

am ovulating and my cycles have been beyond weird since surgery. I

hate the end of the year as it's a time I get really down on

myself. At least this New Year's I didn't beat up on myself for

gaining weight <g>.

>

> I am going to be 45 in May and it's hitting me hard now (I know, I

am way too obsessive). I feel like a failure because of all my

unfinished manuscripts. I started writing in 1997. Had another

baby in 1999 after a very sick pregnancy (spent tons of time in bed,

moaning with nausea), moved in 2000, moved in 2002 (out of my

beloved South Carolina) and have had my mom living with us since

2002. I do her meds, bookwork, etc as she is in stage 1 of

Alzheimer's, had a huge financial setback in 2003 and 2004 (long

story). D/h says all I do for her and him and our boys and dogs is

tons of accomplishments. Having the surgery - after chickening out

in 2003, staying with my exercise program for longer than 3 months

is all accomplishments.

>

> I agree, but I feel like I need my writing for me. My sanity, my

peace of mind, my soul. Can't give much to others if I feel my

reserves are depleted. I have been told by agents and published

writers I have raw talent and a great shot at publication if I would

only finish at least one novel and fine tune and edit it. I know I

have time I can squirrel away for writing when the kids are at

school, but I don't and I get down on myself for it. So, here it is

2005, I am smack dab in the middle of middle age and feeling down.

Down on myself.

>

> Over-eating and over-spending are out so I guess it's time to face

self and get cracking if this is what I really want.

>

> I threw away the people kick-me sign 14 years ago and threw away

most of the self-kick sign a long time ago, too. Guess it's time to

get rid of the rest of it.

>

> Having a chest cold doesn't help my mood and it will go away, but

I just had to vent about all this blueness.

>

> My mom and I are re-decorating my house with stuff we own (her

stuff and mine) and that helps, but I really need to write today. I

even have my notebook (in which I make hand notes) right next to my

computer to put on the computer. I have a published author in New

Zealand (she writes for Silhouettes) that is waiting for some

chapters. She has worked with me about 3 years and has never given

up on me - she is so patient. As is my critique partner in

ton.

>

> Then I look at the tragedy in the Indian Ocean and tell myself to

just Get Over Myself!!! To see my protein Starbucks Latte as half

full and not half empty <g>.

>

> Well, thanks for letting me vent.

>

> Hugs to all,

>

>

> year I haven't beaten

> Happy New Years!!!

>

>

>

>

> Happy New Years friends. It's been a few days since I have

posted.

> I've been lurking! I'm in LA today returning back to Palm

Springs

> Sunday evening. I hope you all had a great New Years Eve!

>

> I went and saw a great movie, " Ray " . I've been wanting to see it

for

> quite a while. I was surprised to see it was playing in only one

> theater. I bought the soundtrack cd a few weeks ago and it is

awesome.

> The movei WAS AWESOME! Foxx, whom I have never really

cared

> for, was AWESOME in the title role. He had the accent and

singing

> mannerism perfectly! If you shut your eyes you'd swear that it

was

> Ray singing. Ray is one of my all time favorites! Didn't

know

> though that he was so heavily into drugs and a womanizer! I

swear you

> go through all kinds of emotions in this movie! You laugh, you

cry,

> you get deeply and emotionally involved. And to know that Ray

> was personally involved in the making of the movie makes the

> revolations even that much more awesome.

>

> Foxx really deserves the academy award, so does the movie and

> support actors. I was on the edge of my seat the whole way!

>

> What did you all do NY Eve? Today I am meeting a large group of

> friends and the event is called " Chat Bowl " (chatroom bowling).

> Should be a lot of fun. Then we are going to dinner at Jerry's

Deli

> on Ventura Blvd. in North Hollywood. If any of you want to join

us

> bowling, we'll be at Prinz Bowl at 1:30PM. It's located near

> Coldwater Canyon and Ventura Blvd. (behind Jerry's Deli). What

are

> you all doing today?

>

> Well, talk to you soon! (((((((hugs))))))))

>

> Leonard

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> To visit your group on the web, go to:

> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/GastricBypass-LOSERS/

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Peach! Yesterday did get better! I put my outline of my first seven

chapters on the computer from my notebook and sent it to my published mentor and

my critique partner.

Love you, too!!

[Guest guest]

Melody,

<<Well then, let's make a plan of action...if you're anything like me,

if I just make goals but don't put specifics to 'em, they fall by the

wayside.>>

This is great and yes, I am exactly this way. I have to be specific.

<<Every Monday, we email each other our plans for the week, and build in some

sort of accountability steps (peering in over each other's shoulders, so to

speak). Then, we can celebrate each Friday the progress we've made -- progress

that is measured against our own needs and wishes, and no one else's.>>

I love this, Melody, and think it's great. We can do our writing, eating,

exercise, whatever.

<<I'm passing you a box of Kleenex, in hopes they're just for your cold

and no longer needed to chase away your blues.>>

Thanks, sweetie! It's all in my chest and very productive <gross>. I am

resting a lot. We had an ice storm in Memphis last week and now it's 70 degrees

and raining. Doesn't help a cold.

Hugs,

[Guest guest]

AWESOME NEWS!!!!!!!!!!

hugs peach

> Thanks, Peach! Yesterday did get better! I put my outline of my

first seven chapters on the computer from my notebook and sent it to

my published mentor and my critique partner.

>

> Love you, too!!

>

>

>

>

>

>