Does my brother want to corner me?

[Guest guest]

I called my SIL's cell (I admit, not home phone, as I'd rather not

deal with my brother) and asked her if her daughter might like to

spend some time at my house (1.5 hour drive). She says, " We were just

planning a camping trip, would you like to come? " So we start

discussing dates, and she says she will call me back.

So my brother calls me back on my cell, but I miss the call as I am in

the restroom at work. Tells me to call him at work. I'd rather speak

to SIL and I don't feel like walking outside in the 110 degree heat to

make a cell call, so I figure I'll call after work.

Just as I'm thinking of calling, my phone rings and it's him. He

starts in right away with a joking/serious/joking sort of sarcastic

way (as my whole family uses, including me!). " Why didn't you call

me? Are you mad at me? Gonna block my phone number? "

All slams about me going NC, which I have not spoken to him about,

only received two shaming emails. I responded to the last by saying

that nada's relationship and mine is not healthy and I need to take

some time.

I immediately pull the steely, quiet resolve. Tell him I was going to

call back but hadn't yet. He says you wanna go camping, and I say

only if you are going to be nice and not harass me. He says, " that

goes both ways. " I say I know.

Starts talking dates and then says " daughter and I are going fishing,

you wanna go? " I say no. He says I'd need a license, and I might

change my mind. I say no.

I figure this is a slam on me being vegan for 10 years, then eating

dairy again. Like suddenly now I probably want to kill animals too.

He keeps pushing. " It's organic. " I just keep saying no.

I consider calling SIL and saying, " Listen, I'm not going if your

husband is going to harass me the whole time (or any of the time!). "

But she is wedged in the role of peacemaker and I don't want to do

that to her. And maybe I need to just be a grown up and face him

myself. I did tonight, but I don't think he got it.

I am not feeling good about sticking myself in the woods with him. I

am even feeling that I would not be surprised if he was planning a

nada ambush. " Oh, mom, dad, what are YOU doing here? "

All in all he was very jovial and pushy, and I detected a note of

superiority in his voice also. Not at all like his normal phone self,

which is lazy and stoned.

Am I gonna block your calls??? If that's what it takes to get some

peace. Mind you, this is the guy who would not answer the phone ONE

TIME A MONTH when my nada called him cause he saw her name on caller

ID and " didn't want to deal with her " so he made his wife take care of

it. I think now, 3 months later, he is determined to rescue nada, by

punishing me, the hateful, stupid, BABY sister, the one he and nada

have been agreeing is UNFORGIVING and BLAMES EVERYONE ELSE for her

problems. I am all but a stranger to this guy.

I am merely the much younger sister whose head he covered with a bean

bag and sat on, while I struggled to get free so I could BREATHE and

then spent a decade ignoring me until he would see me long enough to

call me fat. Then he stopped calling me fat and wondered why I

wouldn't be his best friend. " You're my sister and I love you. "

Said like a true robot. Yet lately when I come over it's him

drinking a whole bottle of jack then spouting " She thinks ALIENS are

visiting us! That's crazy! You're insane. " (all because I went to a

book signing/lecture by a well-respected OBGYN who saw the Phoenix

lights). Then I'm STUPID for my politics.

I guess I am stupid, for considering this camping trip.

Somehow I got the effing role of punching bag in this family, and I am

sick of it. Maybe I should go, just to for once, be ready to stand up

for myself and say, " I am not going to discuss this with you. It is

between me and her. "

'Course, there will be drinking and I am sure he will bring a gun, as

he always has one on hand at the house. Yee-haw. What a redneck.

-Deanna