another update on my ex, surprise!!!

[Guest guest]

Hello again wonderful group

SO as we all know cirrhosis is awful, and a rollercoaster...I have been posting

on my ex's condition for a while now and have gotten tons of responses. Well the

story gets wilder, and greater this week!

Sunday my kids and I went to see ex at the hospital, he was SOOO cordial to me,

and wanted me to come up to the healing garden with my kids and him to visit...I

of course did so, and it was a nice visit. He was in a good mood, the HE was not

too bad, he made sense most of the time, but I could tell things were not

right...he was shaking, the nurse had told us NOT to let him up out of the

wheelchair as he was still hospitalized because of his blood pressure and every

time he got up he passed out. He has been in and out of coma state for a few

days...I prayed this would not happen when the kids were there, and it didnt.

Ex was in between needing fulltime hospital care, and being somewhere else, they

had decided to put him into a nursing home as his sister could simply no longer

deal with the HE and the ongoing renal and adrenal failure, the nurse told me

that things were not looking good...he needs a liver soon, so please pray.

Monday we find out that he was denied by his insurance to go into the home, so

they called his mom and sister and said he MUST be out of the hospital tomorrow

( Tuesday) we cant keep him anymore, the insurance says no....even though the

nurses though he shoudl stay, he has been there for almost 1 month now!

The kids communicate with their dad almost daily now, have been for a while, he

has been reaching out a lot ( good thing!! ) and they could not reach him on

Tuesday. My daughter asked me Tuesday night to call the hospital, she was scared

to call....she went on to her boyfriends house and I called...he was in Surgical

ICU...he had a transplant that day! Yes, he got the liver he needed. I was in

shock. It happened so quickly, and yet his family didnt contact me or my kids,

which at the time angered me VERY much!

I called his sister ( the kids were not home) at 10:00 pm that night, she said

he was about to be realeased from the hospital on Tuesday morning, literally she

was about to get in the car to go bring him home, and the call came...2 hours he

would be in surgery , get to the hospital, we have a match.

When I asked her why she did not call me or the kids, she said that ex did NOT

want the kids to know until after he was " out of the woods " I am still trying to

process this, and the families thinking...I see both sides, but my teenagers

needed to know. She asked me not to tell them,and not to bring them to the

hospital. I told her I could not lie to my kids, they have been waiting along

with everyone else for their dad to get a liver, they knew he was dying, and I

have been honest with them along the way as hard as it has been, I dont want

them to ever have to live a life of regret, and denial...

So yesterday I told the kids, they were anxious, cried, but were happy and of

course wanted to see their dad. I did explain it would not be a good idea, as

they said that the next 24-48 hours would be critical.

Today my ex brother in law , the sane one in the family, called me and said

those kids needs to know, I said well they already do:) And he went to see his

brother, who is now breathing on his own, the Dr's and nurses have said he is a

miracle...he is doing well, and actually spoke very briefly to my daughter on

the phone, she cried tears of joy.

My kids are going about life, doing baseball, seeing friends today and living as

their dad told them to, each day with fun and grace and dignity! The plan is to

take them to the hospital on Saturday, I guess each day he will get a little

better? There are tubes galore, and from what my sister and brother in law said,

its not a site for kids , even teenagers to see...it woudl be haunting. So they

agreed to each day take turns taking a phone into " dad " to have him talk to the

kids, tonight will be my sons turn.

My kids have had TONS of emotions, questions....its overwhelming. They are

happy, nervouse, scared, what if....I keep telling them its not up to us, and

someone has a purpose for your father!! After years of verbal and even some

physical abuse we left him years ago, if he even has a few days with a new

liver, or months or years as a SOBER MAN and SOBER FATHER my children will

benefit, so for that I am thankful. I am not the judge here on earth, I have had

mixed reactions from so many people about how when what or why he was on the

list, how he got a liver ( people that remember the abusive drinking ex) and I

said.....God made it happen, and I believe that with all my heart.

Thanks for reading, and listening and being there. Now transplants....I have not

done a ton of research. Is it ok for my kids to be so hopeful and happy at this

point, should there be caution in their excietment? I cant believe that this

hospital and Dr's would give away a liver to someone that they did not think

could survive?? Am I wrong in my thinking ? ( I am not a Dr) ...my daughter

asked about rejection, does that happen a lot?

Thanks ahead of time for ANY input guys! I think of this group daily in our busy

chaotic lives, and am so grateful for this support group, you have no clue how

much!!!

Blessings to all

Amy