Re: What was the best thing you did for yourselves?

[Guest guest]

Thank you Sylvia!

You inspire me as well!

Warm thoughts to you!

;0)

smhtrain2 wrote:

Wow! I'm pretty speachless right now! Your post was moving,

inspiring. I am so glad that you were able to do all of this.

Isn't it amazing what one simple act will accomplish? Yours is a

real success story - even the difficult parts.

Sylvia

>

> The best thing I did for myself was break the biggest taboo of all

in my foo, I opened my mouth and talked to someone about the

situations I had experienced in my family. To an outsider!!

> I sat across from my doctor in 1997 and told her that I thought

my mother wished I had never been born. She told me about BPD.

>

> I spent a year reading all I could about BPD, absorbing what I

could in stages, discovering the part I had played in my

interactions with my foo, unknowingly supporting it, and coming to a

better understanding of decisions I had made that had felt both

right and wrong to me. I then actively sought out this group.

>

> My first posting was hard to put out there and for awhile I

read more than I posted. But this list helped me learn to trust

myself, to take the step away from my foo's mentality and I grew

stronger in trusting my views. Everything I had read, everything I

had worked through, mourning the loss of my dream family, excepting

that there are situations with my foo that I cannot change, helped

me be stronger in a way I had never been before. Gave me a purpose

other than what I had been raised to have. Thank god! because I had

no idea that in 2000 my nada would tell me to my face, out loud,

that fear of mine that I had shared with my doctor.

>

> When it happened, I found that it didn't hurt. I found that I

could stand there and see how her face moved, the tone she choose to

say it in and the gleam in her eye as she waited for my pain, doing

this in a 3rd person kind of way. I guess I should say that it hurt

but not in the " hoovering " way nada was hoping for. I went NC that

day. I had honored my dads final wish, there was nothing left for me

to do, so I left her house, stopped answering her calls, held my

head up and went on with my life.

>

> The past five years have had many experiences that I'm not sure

I could have handled without having had the first three to fall

on... I've discovered that two of my siblings have BPD as well,

which explains why I always felt outnumbered with them. I lost a

wonderful friend to cancer, walked beside and supported my eldest

daughter while she struggled with depression and suicide attempts,

and other situations that happen in the course of life, and yet...

as tough as it has been...I'm grateful! I really believe that I've

endured these things because I opened my mouth and spoke out.

Breaking the foo taboo was the best thing I could have done for

myself.

>

> Warm thoughts to all you folks on this list. Finding yourself is

always the best treasure.

>

>

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From Randi Kreger, Owner BPDCentral, WTO Online Community and author SWOE and

the SWOE Workbook.

[Guest guest]

Non,

I swear, you have some of the best insights I've ever read. You

always seem to hit the nail on the head w/regards to my FOO and crap

I go through. Thanks so much for sharing this tidbit of information

w/me. In normal circumstances, I think I would've seen this myself

and made accomodations. Since it is the FOO, I think I've been too

close to the picture. I learned a very similar lesson when I was

younger, in my twenties, w/a few x-boyfriends. It seemed that those

who said 'You can trust me' w/o my ever asking for that kind of

declaration or hinting that I wanted them to say that were always the

ones I could, in the end, trust the least. And so I started doing

like you just did w/my post and my FOO- analyze the situation and

think 'well it must be just the opposite b/c they've got such a need

to say it that they don't believe it themselves.'

I think you are right about dishrag grandfada. I think he very much

wants people to fight over his crap. That is one thing I am learning

to seriously try and detach from. He's got a 45-50 acre farm that is

suppose to be split 4 ways when he dies between nada, her sister, my

brother and I (my brother and I get 1/6 while they naturally get a

1/3 though I don't think we deserve it in so far as those things go-

grandkids vs kids. Nada is so screwed up b/c of him- take the money

and run if you ask me not that my nada has ever known what to do

w/money besides manipulate people with it). I've come to the

conclusion this past year that I really don't like my grandfada much

at all - not much at all- no I don't like him, period. Part of me

wonders and analyzes the situation to see if my only motives for not

getting him out of my life is b/c of the inheritance- the land. I am

the only one whose ever wanted to keep the land in the family- I'm a

nature lover where my mom and aunt are city folks- lol. Anyway, I'm

thinking now that I have no desire to move back and that if I do

inherit anything, i'd probably turn around and sell it right away

just to get rid of the old memories- let those sleeping dogs lie.

And well, I am letting go of that dream and finding that the track dh

and I are currently on is more than enough- w/investing, w/taking

care of ourselves, etc. I don't need his inheritance, ya know? I hate

the fact I even think about being nice to him for that reason, ya

know? That's just not right in my opinion and so I'm purging myself

and going down that road where if I'm cut out, oh well. I don't much

care anymore. I have my dignity and that's worth more than any'THING'

someone could give me.

Funnily enough, the old crotchity dishrag also refuses to talk about

things like finances and such w/my nada or aunt and that again seems

a control mechanism by which he wants to screw w/them so that they

don't know what side is up when he dies. Perhaps there's a lot of

really sick passive-aggressiveness in that like you said that I just

didn't see before. I think at this rate, I don't even want to

entertain the thought of going to his funeral whenever he dies, which

I am sure will be a long time coming just b/c he's such a nasty

buggar- the mean ones always live forever.

Lately I've gotten into the habit of when grandfada goes all negative

and ballastic on his deceased grandparents, ones that are clearly bps

also when I hear the stories, who've been dead for well over 50 years

(I'm 34 mind you-never knew these people) and he starts calling

them 'the b!tch and the b@st@rd' I say things like 'well I guess

that's what we'll have to fondly call you too when you're dead and

gone too, huh?' Not that I think romanticizing a person who was a

terror once they are dead is a good thing- I don't believe in that.

but truly the amount of anger he's got towards his grandparents

who've been dead for over half a century is par for the course

w/borderline grudges. I clearly see where nada gets it from. I also

see clearly I am not like that. In so being, I find I also need to

detach myself away from any material possessions he may or may not

want to bequeath.

Thanks so much for your insights.

Kerrie

> > >

> > > Dealing with initiating rare contact. So my nada

> > called at least

> > 20 times

> > > yesterday on all phones. This morning I finally

> > called my father

> > (disrag

> > > dad who enables her- but I LOVE him and I WANT to

> > trust him to be

> > my dad and

> > > protect me).

> > >

> > > First he acted dumb- like he had no clue about the

> > calls and my

> > lack of

> > > reponse (over one day of course). Finally we got

> > into it and

> > unfortunately

> > > he offered his usual responses and advice- Bridget

> > your mother is

> > going

> > > through a difficult time, she is emotional, give

> > her a break, she

> > is worried

> > > about abandonment, she is menopausal, she is just

> > having a hard

> > time.

> > >

> > > This time my smarter head said- NO. No Dad I am

> > not listening to

> > this

> > > anymore. I cannot worry about her. She is the

> > MOTHER. I am the

> > kid. Why

> > > are you putting this stress on me? I have to live

> > here and create

> > a life of

> > > my own. She has a life, she had her life at 28,

> > her husband, her

> > job, her

> > > kids. Why am I supposed to sacrifice my quality

> > of life for her

> > now?

> > >

> > > He listened, but still kept enabling her. Telling

> > me to

> > understand. To

> > > flat out call and tell her I love her. I said

> > Dad- when did I ever

> > in my

> > > life say I hated her? When? He said, I know she

> > just needs

> > reassurance.

> > > So finally I said you need to realize she is sick.

> > There is a name

> > for

> > > this, it will not go away and I am KILLING myself

> > with bulimia

> > Dad. Because

> > > of this- this is eating away at me.

> > >

> > > So he semi agreed to read a book, any book on the

> > disease. I said

> > I know

> > > you can't do anything about it and you don't want

> > to- but read it

> > and you'll

> > > see what I mean.

> > >

> > > He was just so sad. So sad to hear me say I need

> > to go rare

> > contact. But

> > > what about me Brid? Can you call me? It broke my

> > heart. Who

> > wants to

> > > leave their father? And for the first time in

> > months I can feel

> > the pain.

> > > I want to cry. But then I suck it up and I put up

> > my wall.

> > >

> > > Thank you for letting me vent. I will continue to

> > deal. But

> > nothing is

> > > worse than having your dad ask something of you

> > and you cannot do

> > it. I

> > > wish I could grow up.

> > >

> > >

> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > removed]

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________

> Yahoo! DSL – Something to write home about.

> Just $16.99/mo. or less.

> dsl.yahoo.com

>

[Guest guest]

Charlie,

Thanks for the beautiful growth blueprint.

One Non-BP Recovering Man

--- charlottehoneychurch

wrote:

> Dear Trish,

>

> I love this post. I think you're really on the

> right track! Re-

> parenting ourselves is the key to becoming whole,

> real, and, most of

> all, HAPPY people.

>

> The most important thing I ever did for myself was

> to move out of

> nada's house (and city). I was only a teenager, but

> somehow I made

> the right decision. The second most important thing

> was to admit I

> needed therapy, and get it (and read UBM). The

> third most important

> thing was to learn I was a trauma survivor (and read

> Trauma and

> Recovery).

>

> The next things aren't so predictable. I needed to

> learn to keep my

> household in order. It's a single household, so you

> wouldn't think

> it would be that hard. But I never was in control

> of my

> surroundings. Nada gave me absolutely no sense of

> structure. So I

> learned to keep my house as clean as I could,

> comfortably--and be

> comfortable with the imperfection. And to almost

> always have clean

> laundry, and never run out of toilet paper or

> essential groceries.

> Edith, our old moderator, told us to check out

> flylady.net, and I

> did. Although she wasn't completely for me, I

> incorporated many of

> her techniques, and taught myself how to get control

> of my

> household. This was huge! And necessary work. It

> took almost two

> years. My house wasn't exceptionally dirty before;

> it's just that I

> wasn't in control of it. I had no sense of

> structure, no sense of

> treating my environment or my things like I

> deserved.

>

> The most important thing I am working on now is

> discovering the

> sources of my shame, anxiety and despair. They are

> all manifested

> in ego states that are different ages. I use

> affirmation language

> appropriate to each age-state, and this is the first

> thing I've

> found so far that actually helps to erase those

> terrible feelings.

> It takes lots and lots of work, but it's worth it.

>

> The most important thing I have NOT done yet is to

> become completely

> financially independent. (At this point I would

> like to say, yay

> Sylvia! Who just bought a home). The second most

> important thing I

> have not done yet is to find a job I really love.

>

> This was fun. Thanks for asking, Trish!

>

> Best,

> Charlie

>

>

>

>

>

> >

> > It seems every time I turn around, I realize how

> growing up with

> BPD

> > in the family has affected me--usually

> negatively-- and how I have

> > things to work on.

> >

> > I've found I needed to teach myself to care for

> myself physically

> in

> > the face of stress because my nada would make me

> keep

> going/working

> > whether I was sick or whatever and I was just

> keeping up the pace

> on

> > my own--even without her around.

> >

> > I've found I need to learn new social skills

> because in regular

> > families, people talk and listen--it's not just a

> competition for

> > attention.

> >

> > I've learned that my fear of asserting myself to

> normal people is

> > unfounded because regular folks will usually not

> attack you

> > verbally, physically or professionally when you

> disagree or stick

> up

> > for yourself.

> >

> > I've learned that people who really love each

> other do not

> purposely

> > try to hurt one another because they are angry

> (although I really

> > suspected my poor husband of doing that on several

> occasions

> because

> > that is what I expected him to do.)

> >

> > I'd like to know what you all have learned from

> yourselves that

> you

> > didn't get from your BP parents. What things did

> you do to make

> > yourselves better and happier? What do you wish

> you had learned?

> >

> > Trish

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________

Yahoo! DSL – Something to write home about.

Just $16.99/mo. or less.

dsl.yahoo.com

[Guest guest]

Kerrie,

You’re welcome. Yours and others’ insights are

changing me for the better.

Exactly, “'well it must be just the opposite b/c

they've got such a need

to say it that they don't believe it themselves.'” I

learned from my FOO to have “such a need to say it.”

It took me decades to realize that that was one reason

people seemed to have a difficult time (more than

now!) figuring me out and relating to me. In other

words, they often thought I was bull sh***ing, because

I was unintentionally imitating bullsh***ers! That

flea flew away when I stopped doing that. It only

reappears when I allow it back, until I swat it away

again!

Love that “old crotchity dishrag” “nasty buggar”

humor! LOL. Also, so true -- “the mean ones always

live forever”. Hence, my nada. “'The b!tch and the

b@st@rd' . . . I say things like 'well I guess that's

what we'll have to fondly call you too when you're

dead and gone too, huh?'” Guffaws!

I get so much here. Thanks for yours and others’

sharing and contributions.

One Non-BP Recovering Man

--- Kerrie wrote:

> Non,

> I swear, you have some of the best insights I've

> ever read. You

> always seem to hit the nail on the head w/regards to

> my FOO and crap

> I go through. Thanks so much for sharing this tidbit

> of information

> w/me. In normal circumstances, I think I would've

> seen this myself

> and made accomodations. Since it is the FOO, I think

> I've been too

> close to the picture. I learned a very similar

> lesson when I was

> younger, in my twenties, w/a few x-boyfriends. It

> seemed that those

> who said 'You can trust me' w/o my ever asking for

> that kind of

> declaration or hinting that I wanted them to say

> that were always the

> ones I could, in the end, trust the least. And so I

> started doing

> like you just did w/my post and my FOO- analyze the

> situation and

> think 'well it must be just the opposite b/c they've

> got such a need

> to say it that they don't believe it themselves.'

>

> I think you are right about dishrag grandfada. I

> think he very much

> wants people to fight over his crap. That is one

> thing I am learning

> to seriously try and detach from. He's got a 45-50

> acre farm that is

> suppose to be split 4 ways when he dies between

> nada, her sister, my

> brother and I (my brother and I get 1/6 while they

> naturally get a

> 1/3 though I don't think we deserve it in so far as

> those things go-

> grandkids vs kids. Nada is so screwed up b/c of him-

> take the money

> and run if you ask me not that my nada has ever

> known what to do

> w/money besides manipulate people with it). I've

> come to the

> conclusion this past year that I really don't like

> my grandfada much

> at all - not much at all- no I don't like him,

> period. Part of me

> wonders and analyzes the situation to see if my only

> motives for not

> getting him out of my life is b/c of the

> inheritance- the land. I am

> the only one whose ever wanted to keep the land in

> the family- I'm a

> nature lover where my mom and aunt are city folks-

> lol. Anyway, I'm

> thinking now that I have no desire to move back and

> that if I do

> inherit anything, i'd probably turn around and sell

> it right away

> just to get rid of the old memories- let those

> sleeping dogs lie.

> And well, I am letting go of that dream and finding

> that the track dh

> and I are currently on is more than enough-

> w/investing, w/taking

> care of ourselves, etc. I don't need his

> inheritance, ya know? I hate

> the fact I even think about being nice to him for

> that reason, ya

> know? That's just not right in my opinion and so I'm

> purging myself

> and going down that road where if I'm cut out, oh

> well. I don't much

> care anymore. I have my dignity and that's worth

> more than any'THING'

> someone could give me.

>

> Funnily enough, the old crotchity dishrag also

> refuses to talk about

> things like finances and such w/my nada or aunt and

> that again seems

> a control mechanism by which he wants to screw

> w/them so that they

> don't know what side is up when he dies. Perhaps

> there's a lot of

> really sick passive-aggressiveness in that like you

> said that I just

> didn't see before. I think at this rate, I don't

> even want to

> entertain the thought of going to his funeral

> whenever he dies, which

> I am sure will be a long time coming just b/c he's

> such a nasty

> buggar- the mean ones always live forever.

>

> Lately I've gotten into the habit of when grandfada

> goes all negative

> and ballastic on his deceased grandparents, ones

> that are clearly bps

> also when I hear the stories, who've been dead for

> well over 50 years

> (I'm 34 mind you-never knew these people) and he

> starts calling

> them 'the b!tch and the b@st@rd' I say things like

> 'well I guess

> that's what we'll have to fondly call you too when

> you're dead and

> gone too, huh?' Not that I think romanticizing a

> person who was a

> terror once they are dead is a good thing- I don't

> believe in that.

> but truly the amount of anger he's got towards his

> grandparents

> who've been dead for over half a century is par for

> the course

> w/borderline grudges. I clearly see where nada gets

> it from. I also

> see clearly I am not like that. In so being, I find

> I also need to

> detach myself away from any material possessions he

> may or may not

> want to bequeath.

> Thanks so much for your insights.

> Kerrie

>

> > > >

> > > > Dealing with initiating rare contact. So my

> nada

> > > called at least

> > > 20 times

> > > > yesterday on all phones. This morning I

> finally

> > > called my father

> > > (disrag

> > > > dad who enables her- but I LOVE him and I WANT

> to

> > > trust him to be

> > > my dad and

> > > > protect me).

> > > >

> > > > First he acted dumb- like he had no clue about

> the

> > > calls and my

> > > lack of

> > > > reponse (over one day of course). Finally we

> got

> > > into it and

> > > unfortunately

> > > > he offered his usual responses and advice-

> Bridget

> > > your mother is

> > > going

> > > > through a difficult time, she is emotional,

> give

> > > her a break, she

> > > is worried

> > > > about abandonment, she is menopausal, she is

> just

> > > having a hard

> > > time.

> > > >

> > > > This time my smarter head said- NO. No Dad I

> am

> > > not listening to

> > > this

> > > > anymore. I cannot worry about her. She is

> the

> > > MOTHER. I am the

> > > kid. Why

> > > > are you putting this stress on me? I have to

> live

> > > here and create

> > > a life of

> > > > my own. She has a life, she had her life at

> 28,

> > > her husband, her

> > > job, her

> > > > kids. Why am I supposed to sacrifice my

> quality

> > > of life for her

> > > now?

> > > >

> > > > He listened, but still kept enabling her.

> Telling

> > > me to

> > > understand. To

> > > > flat out call and tell her I love her. I said

> > > Dad- when did I ever

> > > in my

> > > > life say I hated her? When? He said, I know

> she

> > > just needs

> > > reassurance.

> > > > So finally I said you need to realize she is

> sick.

> > > There is a name

> > > for

> > > > this, it will not go away and I am KILLING

> myself

> > > with bulimia

> > > Dad. Because

> > > > of this- this is eating away at me.

> > > >

> > > > So he semi agreed to read a book, any book on

> the

> > > disease. I said

> > > I know

> > > > you can't do anything about it and you don't

> want

> > > to- but read it

> > > and you'll

> > > > see what I mean.

> > > >

> > > > He was just so sad. So sad to hear me say I

> need

> > > to go rare

> > > contact. But

> > > > what about me Brid? Can you call me? It

> broke my

> > > heart. Who

> > > wants to

> > > > leave their father? And for the first time in

> > > months I can feel

> > > the pain.

> > > > I want to cry. But then I suck it up and I

> put up

> > > my wall.

> > > >

> > > > Thank you for letting me vent. I will

> continue to

> > > deal. But

> > > nothing is

> > > > worse than having your dad ask something of

> you

> > > and you cannot do

> > > it. I

> > > > wish I could grow up.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > removed]

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > __________________________________________

> > Yahoo! DSL – Something to write home about.

> > Just $16.99/mo. or less.

> > dsl.yahoo.com

> >

>

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________

Yahoo! DSL – Something to write home about.

Just $16.99/mo. or less.

dsl.yahoo.com

[Guest guest]

Charlie, thankyou for posting the link to flylady.net---this is

exactly what I needed. I have always had a hard time " keeping it

together " . I have always had to pay someone to do it, and it is

nice to be able to organize myself---thank you.

Sofiapeel

> > >

> > > It seems every time I turn around, I realize how

> > growing up with

> > BPD

> > > in the family has affected me--usually

> > negatively-- and how I have

> > > things to work on.

> > >

> > > I've found I needed to teach myself to care for

> > myself physically

> > in

> > > the face of stress because my nada would make me

> > keep

> > going/working

> > > whether I was sick or whatever and I was just

> > keeping up the pace

> > on

> > > my own--even without her around.

> > >

> > > I've found I need to learn new social skills

> > because in regular

> > > families, people talk and listen--it's not just a

> > competition for

> > > attention.

> > >

> > > I've learned that my fear of asserting myself to

> > normal people is

> > > unfounded because regular folks will usually not

> > attack you

> > > verbally, physically or professionally when you

> > disagree or stick

> > up

> > > for yourself.

> > >

> > > I've learned that people who really love each

> > other do not

> > purposely

> > > try to hurt one another because they are angry

> > (although I really

> > > suspected my poor husband of doing that on several

> > occasions

> > because

> > > that is what I expected him to do.)

> > >

> > > I'd like to know what you all have learned from

> > yourselves that

> > you

> > > didn't get from your BP parents. What things did

> > you do to make

> > > yourselves better and happier? What do you wish

> > you had learned?

> > >

> > > Trish

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________

> Yahoo! DSL – Something to write home about.

> Just $16.99/mo. or less.

> dsl.yahoo.com

>

[Guest guest]

Great post Non-BP! What an eyeopener---yes and a constant flea. It

is still hard for me to let go and accept that I will not get the

parental love and approval I seek. I guess I have subconsciously

sought it out from others, although to them it may seem like

boastfulness or conceit or " bulls**tting " . It is soooo not the

case, but others are not responsible for our emotional baggage---we

are. Thank you for the reminder---that is a nasty flea!

Hug,

Sofia

> > > > >

> > > > > Dealing with initiating rare contact. So my

> > nada

> > > > called at least

> > > > 20 times

> > > > > yesterday on all phones. This morning I

> > finally

> > > > called my father

> > > > (disrag

> > > > > dad who enables her- but I LOVE him and I WANT

> > to

> > > > trust him to be

> > > > my dad and

> > > > > protect me).

> > > > >

> > > > > First he acted dumb- like he had no clue about

> > the

> > > > calls and my

> > > > lack of

> > > > > reponse (over one day of course). Finally we

> > got

> > > > into it and

> > > > unfortunately

> > > > > he offered his usual responses and advice-

> > Bridget

> > > > your mother is

> > > > going

> > > > > through a difficult time, she is emotional,

> > give

> > > > her a break, she

> > > > is worried

> > > > > about abandonment, she is menopausal, she is

> > just

> > > > having a hard

> > > > time.

> > > > >

> > > > > This time my smarter head said- NO. No Dad I

> > am

> > > > not listening to

> > > > this

> > > > > anymore. I cannot worry about her. She is

> > the

> > > > MOTHER. I am the

> > > > kid. Why

> > > > > are you putting this stress on me? I have to

> > live

> > > > here and create

> > > > a life of

> > > > > my own. She has a life, she had her life at

> > 28,

> > > > her husband, her

> > > > job, her

> > > > > kids. Why am I supposed to sacrifice my

> > quality

> > > > of life for her

> > > > now?

> > > > >

> > > > > He listened, but still kept enabling her.

> > Telling

> > > > me to

> > > > understand. To

> > > > > flat out call and tell her I love her. I said

> > > > Dad- when did I ever

> > > > in my

> > > > > life say I hated her? When? He said, I know

> > she

> > > > just needs

> > > > reassurance.

> > > > > So finally I said you need to realize she is

> > sick.

> > > > There is a name

> > > > for

> > > > > this, it will not go away and I am KILLING

> > myself

> > > > with bulimia

> > > > Dad. Because

> > > > > of this- this is eating away at me.

> > > > >

> > > > > So he semi agreed to read a book, any book on

> > the

> > > > disease. I said

> > > > I know

> > > > > you can't do anything about it and you don't

> > want

> > > > to- but read it

> > > > and you'll

> > > > > see what I mean.

> > > > >

> > > > > He was just so sad. So sad to hear me say I

> > need

> > > > to go rare

> > > > contact. But

> > > > > what about me Brid? Can you call me? It

> > broke my

> > > > heart. Who

> > > > wants to

> > > > > leave their father? And for the first time in

> > > > months I can feel

> > > > the pain.

> > > > > I want to cry. But then I suck it up and I

> > put up

> > > > my wall.

> > > > >

> > > > > Thank you for letting me vent. I will

> > continue to

> > > > deal. But

> > > > nothing is

> > > > > worse than having your dad ask something of

> > you

> > > > and you cannot do

> > > > it. I

> > > > > wish I could grow up.

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > > removed]

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > __________________________________________

> > > Yahoo! DSL – Something to write home about.

> > > Just $16.99/mo. or less.

> > > dsl.yahoo.com

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________

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>