Re: Re: intro, NTs and neophobia?

[Guest guest]

I think people are more accustomed to wheelchairs. It's been a focus of a

tolerance campaign for while. People (for the most part) know what to think when

they see a person in a wheelchair. They don't know what to think when they see

differences that they aren't used to seeing.

Remember the jokes about things to do to annoy your co-workers, or things to do

on a crowded elevator? These things are funny as jokes, because in real life,

most people would be afraid of them, and afraid to do them, even the folks that

laugh when it's told in a joke. It's almost a classic way that some young aspies

" get back " at the NTs who pick on them. Freak them out by doing tomething

weirder than usual on purpose. When I was in college, a guy dressed himelf up in

mideval clothes (there was nothing special going on) and responded to everyone

with " Greetings " and a nod. I'm pretty sure he was an aspie, and I'm pretty sure

he was doing it to show the judgmental folks a thing or two. I could tell by the

smirk on his face. I thought it was pretty funny. (Go get 'em!)

--

[Guest guest]

> My observation leads me to conclude that many people,

> unfortunately, who have become more accepting of the

> presence of wheelchair-users in public continue to

> discriminate (unconsciously) on the basis of how

> " normal " the wheelchair user appears. It's as if they

> can imagine " someone like me " (like them, that is)

> having to use a wheelchair for mobility but not being

> otherwise " different. " In the case of someone who is

> perceived as " deformed " or " spastic, " for example,

> I'm not sure there has been as much change in public

> attitude.

I don't think you are wrong, unfortunately. Basically, the way I've seen

it, is that if people can see something " normal " about the person, they'll

be okay with the disability. If not, they won't. But that all said,

there are exceptions to this - in fact most people are in general decent

around differences, it's the loud assholes that cause a problem.

--

[Guest guest]

>>Jane said:

My observation leads me to conclude that many people,

unfortunately, who have become more accepting of the

presence of wheelchair-users in public continue to

discriminate (unconsciously) on the basis of how

" normal " the wheelchair user appears.>>

I have come to conclude that much is what parents teach. And I speak from

experience. My daughter was 4 when my husband was diagnosed with Lou

gehrigs. Now, over 5 yrs. later he is chairbound and his head lolls. His

hands, legs do not move, his speech quite garbled, he breathes through a

tube most times through the nose and eats through a stomach tube.

Now when she was about 7 her father's hands had first become noticeably

jittery, lets say spastic, yes the specialist said, " you are

spastic. " we all laughed. The termed is called spasicity, with me

misspelling it. But she always knew him disabled, its her memory, however

she saw the arms and hands shake, twitch, being held in a curled way when

he could move a little, when he tried to lift them and they'd drop. And

when he'd struggle to say " Ker-rrr-y. "

One day she lost it, she said something about (through some really bad

crying fit) " I'm so tired of dad being retarded! He's mental! Don't ask

him to help ME with my homework, how can HE know?!!! "

Oh boy I told her is that what you think! I had to explain that his

disease never affects the mind.

She said how come he's always doing like this?

Still crying she starting going all spastic with her hands.

My husband didn't flinch. He was glad to explain. I think most people in

chairs ARE glad to tell the truth.I told her his mind had all the

memories and math and dreams and everything it ever did. It would never

be touched by Lou gehrigs, just the muscles.

I had thought I told her that. I told her it was wrong ever to say

" Retard. " And in fact daddy was not retarded, although some people are

daddy was not, he's physically disabled.

She really calmed down.

Kim

[Guest guest]

Jane Meyerding wrote:

> I've read opinions by some people who study autism/AS who

> believe we (autistics) don't become " part of the tribe "

> the way most NTs do. Because we do not " pick up on " the

> subtler cultural content of our surroundings,we do not

> form our identities based on being " the same as " all of

> that. The result, in theory, is that we do not have the

> automatic " us vs. them " tendency that seems to develop

> in most NTs.

I would disagree. In my many years on this planet I have never seen as

much us versus them as I see here on aspie/autism lists. It seems almost

everything here is us versus them.

A.