Eating Peacefully Newsletter - On compliments

[Guest guest]

Hi all,

Thought you might enjoy this newsletter written by an RD. I learned something

new today, or at least a slightly changed paradigm! I'd never thought about

the power of GIVING compliments as " I " statements. But, makes perfect sense!

Enjoy (and/or subscribe if interested)

Jan Patenaude

Subj: Eating Peacefully Newsletter - On Compliments and Abundance

Date: 8/12/2003 1:02:16 PM Mountain Daylight Time

From: Annette@...

Sender: EatingPeacefully@...

To: EatingPeacefully@... (Eating Peacefully)

Welcome . . .

The " Eating Peacefully " newsletter is committed to helping our

readers discover insights, encouragement, and renewed confidence about

the infinite possibilities of healing our relationship with food, body

and spirit.

May we have strength and joy to continue our journey,

one step at a time . . .

Annette Colby, PhD, RD

Thank you for reading. I wish to welcome our new subscribers, and

extend my gratitude to everyone who forwards this newsletter to

friends and colleagues. One friend telling another is how we grow and

I deeply appreciate your support. If you know someone (or lots of

people!) who might benefit, please encourage them to subscribe (or

unsubscribe) at: http://www.power-nutrition.com/

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We are Divine enough to ask and we are important enough to receive.

~ Wayne Dyer ~

Whatsoever things ye desire, when ye pray,

believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.

~ Bible: Mark (11:24) ~

Things do not change: we change.

~ Henry Thoreau ~

We are what we repeatedly do.

~ Aristotle ~

If you want to make money,

then you have got to decide to be worth more.

~ Anonymous ~

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COMPLIMENTS

The giving and receiving of compliments may be one of the simplest

and most underused tools towards gaining inner peace, serenity, and a

sense of self. Most people want to live a life of abundance. But

many find it difficult to believe that the Universe is a very giving,

abundant, and friendly place. To access abundance, you must be able

to receive it. This means allowing by having an open heart, a

yielding body, and accepting belief systems. Instead, many of have

been taught to be humble, not too proud or conceited, not too

" selfish. " This began a pattern of rejecting, deflecting, and

minimizing, compliments and acknowledgment. The result is that we are

uncomfortable receiving. We may dismiss support especially when we

think we don't deserve it.

To expand your ability to allow abundance into your world, you have

to create within yourself an opening to abundance. This can be

accomplished by learning to receive a compliment. Accepting

compliments creates a connection to self, connection to others, and

connection to your higher Source. Compliments offer a direct tunnel

of love between two people and Spirit. All to often, the compliments

we are given are quickly deflected or turned around as criticism of

ourselves. The compliments we most need to give are kept silent -

buried inside of us.

UNDERSTANDING RESISTANCE

Before being able to fully accept a compliment, it might help to

understand the reason your body deflects a compliment. To do this

will require some exploring. Start by asking someone to give you a

sincere, heartfelt compliment. Once they have done this, politely say

thank you. Now go off on your own to a private safe place so you can

quietly gain wisdom about your inner-self. I'll guide you through the

steps.

1. When the compliment was given, what thoughts ran through your

head?

_______________________________

_______________________________

_______________________________

2. How did your physical body respond to the compliment? Was it

uncomfortable in some way? Was your head racing with defenses? Does

your chest or heart become tight, nervous, constricted, or closed off?

What happens in your solar plexus area? What happens to your

breathing (i.e. more shallow, quicker, etc.)? How does your stomach

feel in reaction to the compliment?

_______________________________

_______________________________

_______________________________

3. Take a deep breath and embrace / accept the physical reaction.

Say hello to it. Take as much time as you need and name the

emotion(s) that goes with the physical sensation in your body (i.e.

fear, panic, confusion, sadness, joy . . .).

_______________________________

4. Ask the physical sensation what causes this reaction to occur?

What is if afraid of? What does it think will happen when a

compliment is given? What does it imagine will happen if the

compliment is accepted? What does the physical sensation need from

you so that it can relax and breathe?

_______________________________

_______________________________

_______________________________

LEARN TO RECEIVE

Accepting a compliment is a courageous act of faith. For to truly

receive a compliment, the body, mind, and heart must open fully.

Which means vulnerability. A lot of effort goes into the intentional

acceptance of a compliment. A new pattern must be learned to open and

accept the goodness of what was offered. Notice if your tendency was

to habitually reject a compliment. Or politely saying thank you but

never allowing it to touch the essence of your soul. Or using the

compliment to build up ego but not true self.

Dr. Wayne Dyer has said, " Your good opinion of me is none of my

business. " By this he meant when a person offers a compliment or

criticism is more a reflection of themselves than of you. There is

truth in Dr. Dyer's wisdom. However, master the art of receiving

compliments and you will master the art of receiving abundance from

the Universe.

What's important about receiving and giving compliments is that it

opens your heart to yourself. Accepting compliments can be a useful

tool in the journey of self-discovery. Who are you really, beneath

the limiting lies of self-doubt that you have learned to believe about

yourself? Accepting compliments may be one way to overcome these

limiting beliefs. By opening to accept compliments you can begin to

notice what is right about you. You can allow yourself to acknowledge

that you are good and worthy, loveable and likeable. Compliments can

allow you to know and accept yourself, as you are today and who you

are striving to be. We do not require the approval of others to be

happy and peaceful (it's just a nice to have rather than a necessity).

In fact seeking the approval of others is only a diversion for

refusing to give yourself the peace and happiness you seek. If you

seek approval from others to feel good, it is likely that you deny

your authentic self. But accepting compliments is a step, a model to

learn from, of how to give ourselves unconditional love and how to

accept the goodness of the Universe.

LEARN TO GIVE

Benevolently open your heart and offer compliments for the soul

purpose of uplifting others. I'm not talking the standard, " Oh, your

dress is pretty " type of compliments. I'm talking the sincere, deep

appreciation types of compliments. Recognize a truth of who the

person is, and show them how you are touched by their essence.

Offering such a compliment allows you the opportunity to once again

open your heart and feel the love within yourself. A soft heart is

required to feel the goodness of another person. A loving heart is

required to send the light of that compliment. As an additional

benefit, when you begin to notice what is beautiful and right about a

person, and then you follow through by expressing it to them, it

enriches your life. You begin seeing abundance in all forms. Instead

of noticing what is wrong about you, the world, and others, you begin

noticing what is right and beautiful. Offering a heartfelt compliment

opens your energy to a higher level. You will be filled with love and

a sense of peace. Expressing beauty to another creates beauty in your

soul.

Extend this practice to yourself. At the beginning or end of each

day, or anytime in between, offer yourself heartfelt, truthful

compliments. Write them down often. It is often so easy and

acceptable for us to look in the mirror and call ourselves ugly names.

We berate ourselves for our mistakes. We criticize ourselves for our

failures. This gets us no where. It only keeps us hardened, cold,

and filled with darkness. It cuts off our ability to be light and to

receive from the light.

HOW TO RECEIVE COMPLIMENTS

1. Keep an open body posture.

2. Notice how your body typically responds when compliments are

given. Does your heart constrict, your chest tighten, your breathing

become more shallow? If so, take a deep breath. Ask your body what

it wants from you. How come it is scared to receive praise?

3. Physically relax that area of your body. Reassure yourself.

4. Breathe in the beauty of what was offered. Accept it into your

body.

5. Acknowledge within yourself that you are worthy of receiving such

beauty from the world. Tell yourself that it is now safe to receive.

6. Say " thank you. " Nothing else! No rebuttals, no return

compliments, no explanations, no minimizing. Let the person who gave

you the compliment feel your acceptance.

HOW TO GIVE COMPLIMENTS

1. Be genuine. No matter who the person is, there is always

something to sincerely appreciate. Ask your higher self to recognize

what is important. What needs to be spoken and offered as a selfless

gift?

2. Open your heart. Send love with your words and energy. Allow

your voice and tone to convey the truth of what you speak.

3. Use " I " messages to convey your compliments. For example, rather

than saying, " You are such a gentle and genuine person " , you can say,

" I value your gentleness and genuine nature. " A good " I " message is

more difficult to be deflected or argued against. " I " messages are

powerful. It is more powerful to say, " I love you " , than " You are

loveable. " 'You' messages are judgements, while 'I' messages are

personal revelations.

Say things like:

One thing I value about you . . .

One thing I admire about you . . .

I think it was really good the way you . . .

" Are you ready to receive? "

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POSITIVE NOTES

I am open to the true abundance of life.

I accept the abundance the Universe offers me.

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Submitted by Annette Colby, PhD, RD who can be reached by email at

Annette@... or visited on the web at:

http://www.power-nutrition.com/

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