Re: New member, my story...a little long, any advice appreciated :-)

[Guest guest]

---Hi

I'm sorry to read your story, one that is so familiar to everyone

here.

You are in the right place, is the best and their are so

many knowledgable people on here, who can really help you.

The best advice for coming of med. is the slower the better. But the

others here will tell you exactly how you need to do it.

Things will work out fine, if you want to get better, you will. It

won't be easy but I sense you are a survivor.

Surround yourself with people who love you, you will make it.

I am glad you have found us.

Take Care and stay strong.

Love

In Withdrawal_and_Recovery , " treehead7667 "

<treehead7667@y...> wrote:

> Hello

>

> Its me again. The previous post of mine I wanted to just make

sure

> it would post before I posted my story....thanks ! I

> posted on other boards in the past and then would get a email that

my

> message wouldn't post because my yahoo email address wasn't

> recongnized….whatever that means.

>

> Ok, this is a little long and I have trouble concentrating just to

> let you know :-)

>

> I just wanted to introduce myself and maybe ask a few questions if

I

> can. My name is and I am happily married to a wonderful

man

> for about 8 1\2 years and have three young children. Well I have

> always kind of been an anxious person. About November of 1998 I

had

> my first panic attack. I had no idea at the time what it was but

it

> really scared me. I kept having them for months…..often times 3

or 4

> more a day and was always afraid to be by myself. At the time my

> oldest was just a toddler. One time my anxiety was so bad I had

my

> biggest panic attack. All day long everyday I didn't feel like I

> could breathe and would be gasping for air all day. That day I

guess

> I had hyperventilated (didn't know that is what was happening at

the

> time) and my legs and arms started to feel like they were falling

> asleep and my hands cripled up on me….I had no idea what was going

on

> and had my Dad ran me to the ER. They said I was at 100% oxygen

> which I found kind of weird since I felt like I couldn't breathe.

> They told me in the ER they would give me a medication that would

> help and that was ativan. Never once did they tell me it was a

panic

> attack I was experiencing so of course I thought there was really

> something wrong with me. Well that continued on for months and

just

> wasn't getting better. I had a miscarriage in March of 1999 and

that

> kind of put me over the edge and I went to the doctor for some

help

> and he put me on paxil. Well I wasn't on it to long and had a

very

> hard time with it. He took me off of that and put my on zoloft

this

> was about April of 1999. He said it was a newer drug and with

fewer

> side affects and " non addictive " safe for pregnancy of course at

the

> time I believed him and started taking it. I have been on it

ever

> since. I had been taking ativan everyday and decided to try to

get

> off of that after being on it for over a year. It was hard but I

> manged to do it and haven't taken one in probably 3 years. I have

> pretty much been on 50 mgs of zoloft the whole time….I believe a

few

> times the doctor said about raising the dose to 100 and I tried

that

> and I just couldn't handle it so went back down to 50 after only

> being on the higher for a short period of time. In 1999 also

after

> being up one night panicking I came across a infomercial about

people

> who were dealing with the same thing I was. It was a self help

> program about dealing with anxiety and it helped a lot. I finally

> knew what I was dealing with and it taught me what to do when a

panic

> attack came. It helped quit a bit and I never had a really bad

panic

> attack since. I still dealt with anxiety but not such bad panic

> attacks.

> Well last year I believe in about August or so I decided that I

would

> try to come off of the zoloft because I know and knew it wasn't

> helping me at all for a long time but was afraid to stop taking

it.

>

> So of course when I first decided to come off this I didn't know I

> had to do it slowly. I went from 50 mgs right to 25 mgs. I

didn't

> feel to well after doing that so just stayed with the 25mgs.

After

> doing some research on zoloft withdrawal on the internet and

> realizing I had to do it very slowly my husband started shaving a

> tiny bit off the 25 mgs tablet and did that in equal amounts for

> about 4 weeks at a time. Well its been about 10 months or so and

I

> am still on it….but just a tiny bit and am still having

withdrawals.

> I have had many withdrawal from this even taking this long to come

> off of it. I can't remember them all right now…have trouble

> concentrating but I have had the head zaps, pressure in my head,

> headaches, insomnia, ibs type problems, painful gas, irregular

> heartbeat, intense neasea, intense dizziness, spaced out, feeling

> disconnected, increased anxiety, irritability, rage, trouble

> concentrating, hard to remember things and lately the the past

month

> or so I have been having trouble swallowing. This one is causing

my

> anxiety to go through the roof. I am having trouble with

depression

> right now….but I think its mainly because of all the symptoms and

> feeling over whelmed. I never really had a problem with

depression

> until I started taking this drug

>

> Well I guess my questions are if anyone can answer them is I am

not

> sure what to do right now as far as trying to get off of these

> completely. For a month I took about 2-3 not more then 5mgs (its

> hard to tell but it is a very small piece) every other day (but I

had

> been taking the small dose everyday for 4 weeks before I went to

> every other day) because trying to cut the pills any smaller they

> brake into tiny little pieces. Then after a month of that and for

> the past month I have been taking that same doseage every 3 days.

I

> just wasn't sure what to do when I got down to that tiny little

piece

> especially since I am still having the symptoms. Am I doing the

> right thing? I am having a hard time right now and I would hate

to

> start taking it everyday again since I have't taken it everyday

for

> about 2 months now. Its been hard with the symptoms….having 3

young

> children and trying to come off of this stuff isn't easy. And now

> with this trouble swallowing it is just putting me over the edge.

> Has anyone else had any trouble swallowing? Its hard to explain

its

> like it always feels like there is something stuck in my throat.

Or

> like I can't completely swallow….even while drinking water. My

> husband thinks maybe it has something to do with my head….like

> because of the pressure and headaches and all that and everything

> being connected it might have something to do with it….I know it

sure

> is making me very anxious. Thankfully the neasea (sp?) hasn't

been

> as intense….I was having that all day and the head zaps kind of

went

> away….I still have this clicking type thing I hear in my head but

it

> isn't as bad as those head zaps I had back in January. As far as

> diet is concerend….I really haven't been having much of a appetite

so

> I don't eat to much but I don't eat sugar (haven't in over a year)

I

> only drink bottled water (that's all I drink is water) and I eat

> whole grain foods and avoid simple carbs. I take a multivitamin

but

> I have been having trouble getting that down even in pieces. I

take

> about 1000 mgs of vitamin C and take about 100 mgs of vitamin b6

> daily ….I was taking coral calcium but I thought maybe it was

giving

> me a headache so I stopped taking that….I guess I should take it

> again but it has just been hard to take even capsules lately.

Maybe

> I should check to see if there is a liquid form for now. I have

been

> trying to read as many posts as I can in between the demanding job

of

> being a Mommy to 3 little ones….have also been trying to go

through

> all the files.

>

> I am a little nervous about trying anything new and I am not sure

> what I can take with what. I have been taking a natural anxiety

> remedy. I am not sure if anyone has heard of native remedies….but

I

> have been taking the " Becalm " from them….it seems to be helping

> some. My Husband and I for the past year and a half have been

trying

> to do things more naturally so I really don't want to have to go

back

> to ativan since I haven's taken any in a long time but with this

> anxiety lately it is just making things so hard.

>

> Well I don't know if this is enough information or to much

> information….but I should probably end now since this post has

gone

> on forever….sorry about that. I was just so glad to find this

> board. I know you all know how difficult this can all be and

lonely

> and how some people seem to think you are crazy and some doctors

> aren't a lot of help and try to get you off these drugs to fast.

And

> of course wondering if the symptoms will ever go away and if you

will

> feel normal again.

>

> I will keep going through the files and try to find what might

help

> me out with some of these symptoms and maybe I can post again and

ask

> questions about some of them and what I can take with what.

>

> If anyone has any advice for me or anything I could do to feel a

> little better or just some hope that things will get better I

would

> greatly appreciate it :-)

>

> Thank you so much for anyone reading this far :-)

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi !

Thanks so much for your advice and encouragement....I really

appreciate it :-)

> ---Hi

>

> I'm sorry to read your story, one that is so familiar to everyone

> here.

> You are in the right place, is the best and their are so

> many knowledgable people on here, who can really help you.

> The best advice for coming of med. is the slower the better. But

the

> others here will tell you exactly how you need to do it.

> Things will work out fine, if you want to get better, you will.

It

> won't be easy but I sense you are a survivor.

> Surround yourself with people who love you, you will make it.

> I am glad you have found us.

> Take Care and stay strong.

> Love

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome to the group Michele,

Sounds like your going through alot of the common withdrawal

symptoms. Yours sounds much more intense than mine though. I'm sure

you'll find alot of help on this group.

ttyl

-joe

> Hello

>

> Its me again. The previous post of mine I wanted to just make

sure

> it would post before I posted my story....thanks ! I

> posted on other boards in the past and then would get a email that

my

> message wouldn't post because my yahoo email address wasn't

> recongnized….whatever that means.

>

> Ok, this is a little long and I have trouble concentrating just to

> let you know :-)

>

> I just wanted to introduce myself and maybe ask a few questions if

I

> can. My name is and I am happily married to a wonderful

man

> for about 8 1\2 years and have three young children. Well I have

> always kind of been an anxious person. About November of 1998 I

had

> my first panic attack. I had no idea at the time what it was but

it

> really scared me. I kept having them for months…..often times 3 or

4

> more a day and was always afraid to be by myself. At the time my

> oldest was just a toddler. One time my anxiety was so bad I had my

> biggest panic attack. All day long everyday I didn't feel like I

> could breathe and would be gasping for air all day. That day I

guess

> I had hyperventilated (didn't know that is what was happening at

the

> time) and my legs and arms started to feel like they were falling

> asleep and my hands cripled up on me….I had no idea what was going

on

> and had my Dad ran me to the ER. They said I was at 100% oxygen

> which I found kind of weird since I felt like I couldn't breathe.

> They told me in the ER they would give me a medication that would

> help and that was ativan. Never once did they tell me it was a

panic

> attack I was experiencing so of course I thought there was really

> something wrong with me. Well that continued on for months and

just

> wasn't getting better. I had a miscarriage in March of 1999 and

that

> kind of put me over the edge and I went to the doctor for some help

> and he put me on paxil. Well I wasn't on it to long and had a very

> hard time with it. He took me off of that and put my on zoloft

this

> was about April of 1999. He said it was a newer drug and with

fewer

> side affects and " non addictive " safe for pregnancy of course at

the

> time I believed him and started taking it. I have been on it ever

> since. I had been taking ativan everyday and decided to try to

get

> off of that after being on it for over a year. It was hard but I

> manged to do it and haven't taken one in probably 3 years. I have

> pretty much been on 50 mgs of zoloft the whole time….I believe a

few

> times the doctor said about raising the dose to 100 and I tried

that

> and I just couldn't handle it so went back down to 50 after only

> being on the higher for a short period of time. In 1999 also after

> being up one night panicking I came across a infomercial about

people

> who were dealing with the same thing I was. It was a self help

> program about dealing with anxiety and it helped a lot. I finally

> knew what I was dealing with and it taught me what to do when a

panic

> attack came. It helped quit a bit and I never had a really bad

panic

> attack since. I still dealt with anxiety but not such bad panic

> attacks.

> Well last year I believe in about August or so I decided that I

would

> try to come off of the zoloft because I know and knew it wasn't

> helping me at all for a long time but was afraid to stop taking it.

>

> So of course when I first decided to come off this I didn't know I

> had to do it slowly. I went from 50 mgs right to 25 mgs. I didn't

> feel to well after doing that so just stayed with the 25mgs. After

> doing some research on zoloft withdrawal on the internet and

> realizing I had to do it very slowly my husband started shaving a

> tiny bit off the 25 mgs tablet and did that in equal amounts for

> about 4 weeks at a time. Well its been about 10 months or so and I

> am still on it….but just a tiny bit and am still having

withdrawals.

> I have had many withdrawal from this even taking this long to come

> off of it. I can't remember them all right now…have trouble

> concentrating but I have had the head zaps, pressure in my head,

> headaches, insomnia, ibs type problems, painful gas, irregular

> heartbeat, intense neasea, intense dizziness, spaced out, feeling

> disconnected, increased anxiety, irritability, rage, trouble

> concentrating, hard to remember things and lately the the past

month

> or so I have been having trouble swallowing. This one is causing

my

> anxiety to go through the roof. I am having trouble with

depression

> right now….but I think its mainly because of all the symptoms and

> feeling over whelmed. I never really had a problem with depression

> until I started taking this drug

>

> Well I guess my questions are if anyone can answer them is I am not

> sure what to do right now as far as trying to get off of these

> completely. For a month I took about 2-3 not more then 5mgs (its

> hard to tell but it is a very small piece) every other day (but I

had

> been taking the small dose everyday for 4 weeks before I went to

> every other day) because trying to cut the pills any smaller they

> brake into tiny little pieces. Then after a month of that and for

> the past month I have been taking that same doseage every 3 days.

I

> just wasn't sure what to do when I got down to that tiny little

piece

> especially since I am still having the symptoms. Am I doing the

> right thing? I am having a hard time right now and I would hate

to

> start taking it everyday again since I have't taken it everyday for

> about 2 months now. Its been hard with the symptoms….having 3

young

> children and trying to come off of this stuff isn't easy. And now

> with this trouble swallowing it is just putting me over the edge.

> Has anyone else had any trouble swallowing? Its hard to explain

its

> like it always feels like there is something stuck in my throat.

Or

> like I can't completely swallow….even while drinking water. My

> husband thinks maybe it has something to do with my head….like

> because of the pressure and headaches and all that and everything

> being connected it might have something to do with it….I know it

sure

> is making me very anxious. Thankfully the neasea (sp?) hasn't been

> as intense….I was having that all day and the head zaps kind of

went

> away….I still have this clicking type thing I hear in my head but

it

> isn't as bad as those head zaps I had back in January. As far as

> diet is concerend….I really haven't been having much of a appetite

so

> I don't eat to much but I don't eat sugar (haven't in over a year)

I

> only drink bottled water (that's all I drink is water) and I eat

> whole grain foods and avoid simple carbs. I take a multivitamin

but

> I have been having trouble getting that down even in pieces. I

take

> about 1000 mgs of vitamin C and take about 100 mgs of vitamin b6

> daily ….I was taking coral calcium but I thought maybe it was

giving

> me a headache so I stopped taking that….I guess I should take it

> again but it has just been hard to take even capsules lately.

Maybe

> I should check to see if there is a liquid form for now. I have

been

> trying to read as many posts as I can in between the demanding job

of

> being a Mommy to 3 little ones….have also been trying to go through

> all the files.

>

> I am a little nervous about trying anything new and I am not sure

> what I can take with what. I have been taking a natural anxiety

> remedy. I am not sure if anyone has heard of native remedies….but

I

> have been taking the " Becalm " from them….it seems to be helping

> some. My Husband and I for the past year and a half have been

trying

> to do things more naturally so I really don't want to have to go

back

> to ativan since I haven's taken any in a long time but with this

> anxiety lately it is just making things so hard.

>

> Well I don't know if this is enough information or to much

> information….but I should probably end now since this post has gone

> on forever….sorry about that. I was just so glad to find this

> board. I know you all know how difficult this can all be and

lonely

> and how some people seem to think you are crazy and some doctors

> aren't a lot of help and try to get you off these drugs to fast.

And

> of course wondering if the symptoms will ever go away and if you

will

> feel normal again.

>

> I will keep going through the files and try to find what might help

> me out with some of these symptoms and maybe I can post again and

ask

> questions about some of them and what I can take with what.

>

> If anyone has any advice for me or anything I could do to feel a

> little better or just some hope that things will get better I would

> greatly appreciate it :-)

>

> Thank you so much for anyone reading this far :-)

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

Thank you SO MUCH for all the helpful info. I can't even tell you

how much your help means to me. I know my post was very long and I

really appreciate you taking the time to read it and respond.

I will try to answer the questions the best I can....sometimes I

have a hard time remembering things so here goes.... :-)

You said:

> ** This tells me that it was not a panic attack but a

biochemical

> alteration--possibly your thyroid, autonomic nervous system,

glucose levels,

> or another of several less common causes. Had it been a classic

panic

> attack the Ativan would have addressed it.

Me:

The Ativan did work when I was given a prescription for it in the

ER. It stopped the panic attacks when I would get them after I

started taking it. But after the first panic attack I had constant

anxiety and was always very aware of how I felt all the

time....heartbeat, breathing etc....

You asked:

How much stress were you undergoing in the year prior to the onset of

> your symptoms? Did you notice anything at all different in your

physical

> body prior to or doing his time? Were you ever evaluated for

anything other

> than panic attacks?

Me:

I was actually having a lot of stress the year prior to the symptoms.

Before the symptoms happened that first time I didn't notice

anything different in how I felt. I just remember having this weird

feeling all of the sudden and I didn't know what it was and started

to feel that adrenaline type feeling when you have a panic attack

and I started to breathe differently and I felt like I had to run

and just didn't know what was going on.

No, I was not evaluated for anything else. I think because the

ativan was helping some we just left it at that.

You asked:

** How far along were you in your pregnancy when this happened?

Were you

> pregnant when you experienced the first episode?

Me:

My miscarriage was towards the end of March of 1999 and I was only

like 8-10 weeks a long at the most. My first panic attack was in

November of 1998....so I more then likely became pregnant in January

of 1999....so no, I wasn't pregnant the first time one happened.

You said:

> ** To address your last statement first--the good news is that

you won't

> experience depression forever. This is time limited, and if you

think about

> it, a perfectly normal, healthy response to what you are

experiencing right

> now.

Me:

Great....thanks so much for letting me know this....that helps a lot!

You said:

** The problem with skipping days is that at some point, you've

run out

> of options. The latter part of a withdrawal is almost always more

difficult

> that the initial

Me:

Yea, that makes a lot of sense. I guess the reason I did that

(skipping doses) was before I found this board I was looking for

answers anywhere to try to help myself and came across a board where

people would ask this doctor about how to get off of different drugs

and they would say to reduce the dose over a few weeks and then take

every other day for a week and then stop. Obviously it isn't smart

to go off of them that fast but I just wasn't sure what to do at

that point....I was pretty stuck ): So after the long process of

coming off the 25mgs and getting to that low does I started skipping

days about 2 months ago.

You asked:

Have you ever felt like you've stabilized on a dose prior to

reducing it

> again? This is important. Feeling stable in between means your

chemistry

> and brain has adapted to the decrease. Taking it daily is not a

step

> backwards. It is a step toward giving yourself what is needed to

adjust to

> this very low dose.

Me:

I have been sitting here trying to remember when I felt ok, and to

be honest I just don't remember how much I was taking at that time.

It has been so crazy busy around here (it always is with 3 little

ones running around) these last few months and I have just been

trying to keep up with things and cope the best I can. I really

wish I could remember. It might have been when I was taking it

every other day.....at this small dose.

You said:

> At this point, what I would do is take the little piece I have,

dissolve

> it in 6 oz of liquid, and drink two oz. a day for 3 days.

Me:

Ok, I hope my questions aren't silly on this one but....does it

matter what type of liquid I use to dissolve it in? I normally only

drink water at room temperature because anything cold seems to upset

my stomach. But if it is going to taste really bad I could use

something else if you might have any suggestions. If I use room

temperature water do I need to refrigerate it in between taking it

those 3 days? I am assuming if I use juice or something other then

water I would need to? I just wasn't sure what it would do to the

Zoloft if I refrigerate it or not.

And should I take that dose (2ozs) for 3 days and then stop

completely? Or keep taking it like that for a while? Or do I take

a new little piece of zoloft each day and dissolve it in liquid and

take 2 ozs. and pitch the rest each day instead of saving it for the

next few days?....sorry for all those questions :-)

You said:

** Your body won't heal if it doesn't get the proper levels of

nutrients

> and phytochemicals.

Me:

Yea, my Husband keeps telling me that but I just really didn't know

what to do.

You said:

> ** BeCalm increases serotonin. This is the last thing I would

take

> right now. It's confusing to your brain. I would also stop the

B6 for

> three days and see if I notice any difference.

Me: Thanks for letting me know this....I had no idea....it seemed to

be helping with the anxiety but if it isn't good for me at this time

I will try to find something else....I just don't want to have to go

back to the ativan if I don't have to.

The folks at native remedies told me that a lot of people have been

able to get off their zoloft using this so I guess I thought it

would help ): I hope I haven't been hurting myself to much since I

have been taking it for months?

Ok, and I will also stop the b6 for a while. I originally started

on that to help with pms type things.

You said:

> Most people are initially nervous about trying " new " things.

This is

> an understandable kneejerk reaction from what they've experienced

thus far.

> The difference in that and what I'm going to tell you is that the

protocols

> I share here are specifically for people who have taken

psychotropic drugs

> and are trying to withdraw and recover from them. In other words,

thousands

> of people have walked before you and they're all still alive.

Me:

Yea, I understand that....I have felt bad on so many things in the

past its hard thinking about trying other things. And with having

to keep up with a 6, 4 & 2 year old all day its hard to do that

feeling to awful bad.

But, I am sure since like you said these are for people coming off

these types of drugs I will do fine :-)

You said:

The most important thing you can do is provide your body with the

fuel it

> needs to hela itself. This fuel comes in the form of nutrients. I

have a

> document in the files that is titled Basic Protocols

>

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Withdrawal_and_Recovery/files/Su

pplemen

> ts/Healing%20Protocols/

>

>

> ** The responses to my questions will assist me in

targeting the most

> suitable thnigs fro you.

Thank you for the info in the files....I have read it and if you can

give me any advice on where to start that would be great (or which

ones to take even). If I tell you my most bothersome symptoms you

think that will help? If so I guess my main ones would be the head

pressure, dizziness (or off balance type feeling) headache and the

anxiety is probably my worse right now.....other then the lunp in my

throat but I know there is nothing i can do for that.....but if I

can get my anxiety under control that would sure help.

Would the Passionflower herbal tincture you have listed in that link

be ok for me to take? Or is that for after I am completely off the

drug (zoloft)? If its ok to take can you tell me where I might be

able to find it at?

You said:

** Things will definitely get better. It just takes time and you're

> still on the tail end of stopping the drug.

Me:

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, for letting me know

this....sometimes I feel very hopeless and this is very

encouraging :-)

Also can you tell me if its ok to take a liquid calcium and

magnesium supplement? I saw that they are supposed to help but

since I am having bit of trouble swallowing right now (or at least

it feels like that) if it is ok to take those together that might

work ok for me. If not I will try to get them down in a capsule.

You think the irregular heartbeat will eventually go away and be

more normal?

Again thank you so much for all of your help....I greatly appreciate

it.....sorry again this got a little long winded.

Hope you are feeling better!