Allowing Our Differences

[Guest guest]

Allowing Our Differences

B Y K A T H L E E N J A C O B Y

FACING A BLANK WALL... what do I see in the emptiness as my mind chatters

on and on about trivia of the day, expressions of annoyance at the latest

diatribe by right wing talk show hosts and left wing pundits. Everything so

bound up in either/or, us/them, the mentality of duality that sees anything

outside of its own view as evil or wrong. And in life, the extraordinary truth

is that this cannot stand. It erupts, disrupts, and causes splintering in the

fabric because there is no accommodation for another view or vantage point of a

larger truth.

We can each only see a portion of something bigger than ourselves. I am

limited by where I stand and what is in front of me. I can turn 360 degrees, but

my scope of vision is determined by where I am standing. At the base of the

mountain, I see dirt and trees and little else. At the top of the mountain, I

have a vaster view, but still I am limited by the nature of my singularity and

upon what ground I stand, where I am born, what culture I am from, and the

gender I inhabit. It isn't like being able to zoom out on Google Earth and see

the whole planet as a passerby. We see what is here and now as the reality of

our time and place. And yet, we do not give credibility to anyone else's time

and place viewpoint.

The woman in Iran or the Balinese fisherman - the Russian ballerina and

the Cuban immigrant - they see things from a perspective framed by their

experience - and how can it be otherwise? Yet, in each of our diverse

backgrounds there is a beautiful tapestry that we can weave. Each of us has a

thread to contribute to something more stunning than our singular viewpoint. If

we would allow for our stories to emerge and our vantage points to be heard, we

could possibly create a world in which we are all welcome and where we would all

like to live and thrive and share our resources.

Without allowing for the differences that are intrinsic to our lives, we

limit creation. Yet, in creation there is no one-way. There is no one form of

weather pattern that touches the entire planet at the same time. When I see

daylight, those halfway around the world see night. Are they right to say that

it is night, and I am wrong to say it is day? Does their truth negate mine, and

vice versa? Of course not. Yet, we debate endlessly over whose God is the real

and only God. We war over cultural customs and gender differences, and all the

other isms and opposites that small minds cannot accept or allow because those

differences ask each of us to step out of our comfort zone - out of our familiar

patterns and life view to recognize something else as being a legitimate way of

life.

It doesn't have to be THE way, nor should it. One form of flower covering

the entire earth would be monotonous. One species, one gender, one food choice -

we would be bored by the repetition of sameness. And when we limit the sharing

of beliefs or ways of being, we are boring. We become parrots of what has gone

before, biased into submission, and the end result is a world that splinters and

withers in potential. All the talent, creativity and possibility is squandered

by non-allowance, and each of us is diminished as a result.

It's time to become one world - time to become fully human - to see the

gift in our variance, and to speak with one another, not posture with enmity in

mindless rhetoric. We can bridge the gaping holes that divide us by weaving our

tapestry one to the other. We can start simply, finding a point upon which we

can agree, by sharing the fact that we are human, that we have children, and

then showing pictures of our family and discussing our hopes for them and

ourselves. We can describe how we came to believe our beliefs and the foods we

eat and the customs we have established, and through this we will become aware

of another's point of view. It will not diminish us; it will enrich us. And

then, we can allow for our differences and gradually, gradually hold out a

candle to one another that we light in the spirit of friendship and compassion.

As we eliminate the gaping gulf of unknowing between us, humanity can come

together to celebrate life. It all begins with allowing our differences. It's

time.

Food for Thought

1.. Where have you felt that somebody closed a door to who you are and

what your story is because of your differences? What about the reverse... have

you discounted someone else because of their ethnic background, gender,

religion, viewpoints, social status or customs?

2.. Where do you find yourself " stuck " in a belief that taken from a

larger vantage point might not be the full truth? Are you open to hearing

another view?

3.. Investigate points of similarity within different religious views.

See where the same beliefs may be stated differently but point to the same

ultimate truth.

4.. Where is there a possibility of doing something that will give you

an opportunity to learn more about a culture or people you may not have fully

understood before?

5.. Learn about another culture and then try recipes from that culture.

By understanding what foods people have had available in different regions, we

see the reason for the foods they eat that we may think are " weird " .

6.. Are there areas in your life where you can get involved with others

from different backgrounds, where you can share your perspectives to bring a

greater richness to one another's lives?

7.. Question belief systems that have been passed down to you from past

generations that may be outmoded in today's shrinking world. Be willing to clear

out those things that constrict you and make you feel superior/inferior to

anyone else.

8.. Be open to learn one new thing about a person, place, or different

belief system each week. Expand your level of tolerance and willingness to reach

out to bridge gaps in communication through an exercise in curiosity,

compassion, and friendship.

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