Guest guest Posted December 21, 2005 Report Share Posted December 21, 2005 Boy, am I feeling good about finding this group! I have a question, is it advisable to share with your nada, that she has this condition and now that you are aware of it you are going to be reacting to her differently? I'd appreciate any input or stories. Alice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2005 Report Share Posted December 21, 2005 > > Boy, am I feeling good about finding this group! I have a question, is it > advisable to share with your nada, that she has this condition and now that you > are aware of it you are going to be reacting to her differently? I'd > appreciate any input or stories. > > Alice > > This is a question that has been posted several times and I would say the consensus of most posters is that to tell any BPD they have a problem is a big mistake. One of the basic characteristics of BPD is that the sick person fully believes they are just fine. The rest of the world is wrong or crazy. While they split others black and white they also split themselves so if they admit they are mentally ill or even wrong about something they feel so totally useless and low about themselves that they can't stand it. I know my own mother has a ton of anxiety with her BPD and is in complete denial about it. She describes it as being sick but when anyone calls it anxiety she says " I don't have anxiety. What is that? " She is elderly and may truly not understand, but I think it is more of a thing of denial. Especially in her generation it was very bad to have anything wrong with you mentally. I wouldn't dream of telling her she has BPD. Your mother is probably younger and while there is some success in helping people with BPD, it is very difficult and takes some desire on the part of the person to want to change. I have heard others say it is better to let a professional person tell them, if anyone, and not a family member. I wouldn't do anything about telling her at this point. There is still a lot to learn about the disease and I would get professional advice before opening that can of worms. Dee > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2005 Report Share Posted December 21, 2005 Hi, Alice, The " common wisdom " about telling someone they have BPD is usually " no. " In fact, many therapists treating someone they think has BPD, think it is best not to share this info with their patients, at least not for a very long time. I believe the reason is, people with BPD (and people with personality disorders in general) are NOT ABLE to see that there is a problem with their behavior. They tend to blame everything on other people. So to tell them, " this is your problem " will not only fall on deaf ears, it will anger them, or make them more defensive, or cause them to lash out. But in terms of setting boundaries and telling your nada " I feel such-and-such when you do such-and-such behavior, and as a result, this is what I need to do, " I think most KOs agree that that can be helpful or self-protective. So definitely, take what you learn and put it to your own good use. And definitely inform her of your new boundaries, if you feel able to. But I think most would agree, it doesn't do a bit of good to tell them they have BPD. Flea iamazin@... wrote: Boy, am I feeling good about finding this group! I have a question, is it advisable to share with your nada, that she has this condition and now that you are aware of it you are going to be reacting to her differently? I'd appreciate any input or stories. Alice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 10, 2011 Report Share Posted March 10, 2011 When posts are added to listserv do you get a copy in your work email or do you have to log into yahoo everytime? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 10, 2011 Report Share Posted March 10, 2011 work email inbox -----Original Message-----From: TxFinancialCoordinators [mailto:TxFinancialCoordinators ]On Behalf Of babydolgSent: Thursday, March 10, 2011 9:02 AMTo: TxFinancialCoordinators Subject: QUESTION When posts are added to listserv do you get a copy in your work email or do you have to log into yahoo everytime? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 11, 2011 Report Share Posted March 11, 2011 I get mine in work email as well From: TxFinancialCoordinators [mailto:TxFinancialCoordinators ] On Behalf Of Whitney Folsom Sent: Thursday, March 10, 2011 12:13 PM To: TxFinancialCoordinators Subject: Re: QUESTION I get mine in my work email Whitney Folsom, TFC ETMC Transplant Program 1100 E Lake St ste 340 Tyler, TX 75701 phone fax wlfolsom@... >>> babydolg 3/10/2011 11:01 AM >>> When posts are added to listserv do you get a copy in your work email or do you have to log into yahoo everytime? =========================================================== This message is confidential, intended only for the named recipient(s) and may contain information that is privileged or exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended recipient(s), you are notified that the dissemination, distribution or copying of this message is strictly prohibited. If you received this message in error, or are not the named recipient(s), please notify the sender and delete this e-mail from your computer. ETMC has implemented secure messaging for certain types of messages. For more information about our secure messaging system, go to: http://www.etmc.org/mail/ Thank you. =========================================================== Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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