Re: ms musik

[Guest guest]

Thank you so much for the validation...that is what I need to help me cope. I

tell my kids what I know, sometimes they want to hear it and sometimes they tell

me to stay out of it, its not my business. I think they are having a hard time

with their dad and I actually speaking to each other, last yera at this time I

was still a peice of crap in his eyes, and he spoke very bluntly about me

especially when he was drunk.

I will let the kids see him of course, and ask them when they want to go, right

now since the last visit hit them so hard, he looked so bad compared to the time

before which was about 3-4 weeks in bewteen visits, they have not wanted to see

him again , yet. They DO however talk to him almost daily now, which is good.

The last visit he was able to sit outside for a while, it was a beautiful day

and my daughter said that was a good memory for her to have with her daddy!

I actually just spoke to him, he didnt sound too bad, he is out of the

hospital...I asked him if he was home alone, he said no I am at my sisters house

now and will stay here. He thanked me for calling to check on him, and I told

him we will find a time for the kids to visit, he said that would be great he

would love to see them.

My attorney actually called and told me that his SSDI eval is supposed to be

done by late July, thats when they expect an answer.

The are asking for it to be backdated to January when he actually got the news

that he needed a transplant to survive, this comes from my attorney, not sure

where he got the information ? So we will see on that end...

I am glad that ex is with his sister during this time. I did speak to her a

couple weeks ago, she didnt get into details but said it was a LOT for her to

take on. She is 42, married works full time and has 2 young boys at home, 3 dogs

etc....its taken its toll on her life too! His mother has a 2 bedroom

condo...lives alone, and she CANT take care of him....its to much for her she

says, same with his father who lives in the sisters apartment thats on her

property. That is the kind of family support he has. They do take him back and

forth to the Dr, and they have been at the hospital a few times....mostly its

been his younger sister, the parents are out of their mind and cant handle it.

They didnt even want to admit he had a drinking problem until the Dr's told them

this caused his disease, my kids were there for that!

Thank you all again for the support! I just want to do whats right here, and

help my kids the best that I can! I do pray for my ex as well, the suffering he

is going through is awful...and I do care, he is the father of my children no

matter what he has done to himself.

I will keep you posted as we continue through this tough tough journey!

Amy

issupport , abijann wrote:

>

> Alcoholics are not placed on the transplant unless the doctors have

> made an exception for him. They have to be free of any alcohol for

> a period of 6 months to be placed on the list. There are blood testing that

can be done to determine if they still are drinking: the GGT and the CDT tests

are just two of them. Maybe your EX has already gone through the detox.

>

> Your EX is not lying to you about the children maybe able to get

> disability payments. However, since you are divorced and the

> children are with you...not him...I'm not sure how that would work.

> It is definitely worth looking into, though.

>

> The only way someone could have 4 hopeful situations is if someone

> wants to be a living donor and willing to give a patient a part

> of their liver. Otherwise, those who are on the transplant list

> don't even know about an organ becoming available until they

> are called to have the transplant.

>

> With Cirrhosis, the patient is usually termed as being in the

> end stages of the disease when they develop Ascites, have

> portal hypertension, have encephalopathy, and splenomegaly.

> If the diuretics and the low sodium diet doesn't help the

> fluid build up and they have to have continual paracentesis...

> then this means they are usually alot higher on the list than

> others are....like you said, between 25 and 30.

>

> No one but his doctors can tell you for certain how long he may

> live. The doctors can give an estimate, but these estimates...

> even though they are based on what the doctors see on all his

> tests...are just that..an estimate.

>

> This is a very difficult time for your EX. He is facing death and

> it sounds like he is reaching out to you and your children.

> Children can handle alot more than what you think. If you make

> them a part of this and be sure that they are told all you know

> about what their Dad is going through and even let them see him,

> if that is what they want...you will be giving them a true life experience

that they will always remember. They will learn about mistakes and they will

also learn more about love and forgiveness.

>

> My mother died of a cerebral hemmorhage. She was alive and okay

> when I went to school in the morning and by 9 PM that night, she

> was gone. It was best to be able to see her while she was in

> the hospital, to see her with all the tubes and everything

> connected to her and to also see her in the casket. It helped

> to come to realize, even at my young age, that life is

> temporary and people, who you love, is more important than

> material things in life. Let your little ones experience it and

> explain to them that it is normal to have the feeling that they

> feel right now. Comfort them.

>