Guest guest Posted June 27, 2004 Report Share Posted June 27, 2004 No one really believes me. I believe you and anyone who has gone through SSRI withdrawal believes you. I was once exactly where you are now. I survived, but it took everything in me to do it. You CAN get through this. I did, even when I thought it was hopeless and suicide was my only option. Yes, it's psychological torture -- in ways most people cannot even begin to imagine. Please keep posting. We truly understand what you're going through. Blind Reason (a novel of espionage and pharmaceutical intrigue) Think your antidepressant is safe? Think again. It's Unsafe at Any Dose Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 27, 2004 Report Share Posted June 27, 2004 Hi Nyia, You had me sitting here bawling my eyes out at your post. I believe you I can feel your pain .The only way out of this hell is to go through it.I did it myself and i am still here to talk about it.Alot of what your feeling will subside in time it just takes time.Nyia none of us are the same people we used to be. I gave up trying to find myself it's just never going to happen i am never going to be who i once was, it took others to point out to me that i have to learn to live with who i am now.You still have a lot of healing to do maybe cath will have some suggestions for something that might help with some of what you are feeling. Hugs Ros Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 27, 2004 Report Share Posted June 27, 2004 Dear Nyia, You said: <<I need some relief. I was thinking of trying Valerian root? Or maybe St. 's Wort? >> No, no, no, no. I'll write more tonight. Regards, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 2004 Report Share Posted June 28, 2004 ---I know this won't help, I don't know the answers to give you my friend. But I do know that your description is exactly how I felt coming off off seroxat (paxil). It is so hard, but eventually it does get better. I am sorry but I live in the UK. will know what to do, and many others will help to. All I can say in hang in there, I know it is pure hell for you at the moment. Just be really strong and keep telling yourself it is not forever. I wish I could be of more help to you, I am so sorry. Thinking and praying for you. Love In Withdrawal_and_Recovery , " nyia12 " <eeyore_0_4@y...> wrote: > Hello everyone, > > It has been a while since I have posted. I have been struggling > through Paxil/Lexapro withdrawal these last few months (after having > been on SSRI's for 10years)- using the " ignore it " method. That > really is not working anymore. This last month, and especially these > last couple days, have been sheer psychological torture. I really > don't know how else to describe it. It is like someone is inside my > brain messing with my brain torturing me.(It is so bad it is like I > can feel them in there.) > > I am 7 months drug-free and this week I actually thought of going > back on the drugs because the pain is so great. But, I do not want > to be on them. Ever again. I just don't know how to make myself feel > better. Here are some of my symptoms: > > 1. I feel like dying everyday. > 2. I wish I was dead every second. > 3. I feel like bashing my head repeatedly against a wall. > 4. I have severe anger and aggression that is never eleviated. > 5. I want to beat the crap out of people for no reason. > 6. I sometimes stand and scream at the top of my lungs - it is like > the torture in my brain is so intense there is nothing else I can do > but scream. > 7. It feels like someone is poking a red hot poker deep in my > brain.I want to reach up and pull it away but I can't find it. The > pain is so deep it is elusive - yet so strong emotionally and > mentally that it is sheer torture and the fact that I can't pinpoint > it is also insanely painful. > 8. All my muscles in my body hurt. > 9. I get locked into Obsessive-Compulsive activities and CANNOT get > out. This one is really, really bad. > 10. I want to rip off all my skin!!!!!!!!All the time!!!! > 11. I have extremely violent thoughts - about myself and others. > 12. My old eating disorder has flared up out of control. > 13. I can't concentrate. > 14. I experience akathesia - I can't sit still or relax EVER. I am > constantly moving, moving, moving. > 15. I have excessively dry skin > 16. I constantly say to myself, " Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it > stop! " > 17. I scream and cry - when I am able to cry, which isn't very often. > 18. I have severe anxiety that is not attached to anything. > 19. I am constantly lonely > 20. I don't feel attached to anything > 21. I feel like I can't function > 22. I feel like I can't breathe - psychologically speaking. > 23. I do not know who I am anymore or what I want > 24. Nothing makes sense anymore. > > > Basically, I am a psychological mess. I feel like a monster. I hate > everything and everyone and I do not know how to get the real me > back. I think she is lost forever - killed by the damage these drugs > did to my brain. Even if she isn't, I do not think I can get through > this healing process. No one really believes me. My doctor did at > first, but now I think she just thinks it is a return of symptoms. > But, I know it is not. I never felt like this before. Maybe little > twinges of some things before, but NEVER like this. I am a serotonin > monster. I need this to stop. Please, how do I get through the > healing process? This is so tortuous. I need some relief. I was > thinking of trying Valerian root? Or maybe St. 's Wort? I need > to do something. Simply waiting for my brain to heal is not working. > If you guys could see me now I would be crying my eyes out. I can > tell already today is going to be a flare up from Hell. Please help > me I can't take anymore. > > Sorry...Just sorry. > > nyia > > P.S. If anyone knows of someone in the Ohio area that I could speak > to in person I would greatly appreciate it. I have actually thought > of trying to save money and driving to Ithaca New York to talk to > Dr. Breggin. But, for various reason it would cost me alot of money > to do that. I just wish there was someone where I lived that I could > see. I need someone to help me get through this. I am dying out > here. I can't do it anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 29, 2004 Report Share Posted June 29, 2004 Thank you Kendee. I really needed to hear that. Everyone keeps trying to tell me I have a chemical imbalance and this just proves I need the drugs. I keep telling them that " Yea, I have a chemical imbalance alright, but it is caused by the drugs and the damage they did! " But, it gets exhausting arguing all the time. Especially when what I really need is for someone to be reminding me of that and reassuring me it will get better. So, THANK YOU very much for doing that. :-) By the way, I am in Central Ohio. nyia > In a message dated 6/28/2004 8:01:46 AM Eastern Daylight Time, > @m... writes: > P.S. If anyone knows of someone in the Ohio area that I could > speak > > to in person I would greatly appreciate it. I have actually > thought > > of trying to save money and driving to Ithaca New York to talk to > > Dr. Breggin. But, for various reason it would cost me alot of > money > > to do that. I just wish there was someone where I lived that I > could > > see. I need someone to help me get through this. I am dying out > > here. I can't do it anymore. > > > Nyia, > Where in OH do you live? I live in PA. You said that you were 7 months > drug free & thinking of going back on drugs because you can't take it anymore. > I felt the same way! I definetly didn't even consider going back on, but > thought I couldn't make it anymore by 7 months! Then after 7 months, I started > seeing some major improvement. I went off Zoloft in June & it was January when > I had my last really bad episode. Actually, my last real bad day was January > 14th. It was so bad I can still remember the date! Hang in there, it will > get better. Don't even think of going back on, that's what got you into this > mess. You are too close to turn back now. I know that it's so hard to > believe, but it will get better. > > Kendee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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