Huntsman father

[Guest guest]

I am joining the group for support with my BP nada. I have been NC

with her since March 2005 and am just now recognizing my father's

culpability in the family situation. This is very hard for me bc I

have coped with NC by relying on the concept of having at least

*one* parent and now I see I have neither. So, though I am familiar

with mothering myself, now I am learning fathering as well.

Here's a summary of my fam:

BP nada - Waif/Hermit

father - Huntsman

me - all-good

brother 1: all-bad

sister: lost

brother 2: now that I am gone, all-good

Reread parts of UBM this morning which helps a lot. Mainly bc now I

know my nada is too scared to fight her own battles and Huntsman

does it for her. I was at a family event Saturday (the first in over

a year) and did not speak to my mother or her mother (also BP -

Queen). I am feeling alot of anxiety around how father will react bc

the typical scene goes: I do/say or don't do/say something, nada

throws a fit, father FOGs me to ease his discomfort, father returns

to nada and soothes her. Forget that I actually have needs, here,

right?

So that's where I am. I have an awesome therapist who is skillful

with KO's and a big support network, but I need other KO's for this.