Guest guest Posted July 31, 2007 Report Share Posted July 31, 2007 Please know that I so appreciate being here and being able to post here. You have all been so wonderful. I wonder though when do we let go? We remember the pain, the disappointment, the hurt and not only do we remember, it lives in our blood and souls. I know it resides so deep in me, and I hate how it consumes me. It for me is the final legacy that this dysfunctional childhood has bestowed upon me. I want hope, love, peace and second chances to consume me. Yet, sometimes I can't get beyond this. I have those moments of feeling whole again, due to my safe boundaries from my nada and reconnecting to my inner child. My inner child has been so neglected, hurt, emotionally beaten and most importantly silenced----SILENCED!! No one really cared about her feelings and what she had to offer. In a therapy session recently, my therapist had me do some role playing and talk to my inner child. My therapist instructed me to talk to inner child like I would a little child who was abused and I was trying to help to recovery. The significant thing about this situation was, for 24 years I have taught third grader children with special needs and I love what I do.....and I pride myself on how my classroom builds their self esteem. What did I tell my inner child in front of my therapist....I told her, " To suck it up and deal with it. " My therapist asked me would I tell a student that and I said of course not, but this wasn't a student of mine....it was just me. OMG- do I not deserve the same love and respect I try to give everyone in my life, especially a child. That will be a life-changing moment for me....I get the pain...the hurt....the sheer disappointment I have been to my nada, she has such issues, honestly I think life itself was a disappointment to her. Why am I doing what nada has done to me over and over again? Yet I told, my inner child to suck it up and deal with it. My inner child deserves my love, energy and attention....not my mother, not my pain or my past. Those things I can't change, but I can change how I love and respect me today. I bless all of you and I hope you take the time to hug and love the inner child who is living inside of you. Thanks for listening, Malinda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 1, 2007 Report Share Posted August 1, 2007 Congrats on getting in touch with your inner child Malinda! Such work has been vital to my healing in therapy. I wanted to recommend a book for other people interested in jump-starting their therapy. It's called, " Homecoming: Reclaiming and championing your inner child by Bradshaw " . This book has a number of important exercises on visualizing yourself at different stages of development, having conversations with yourself, and offering yourself the support you never got. Like you, I tapped into explosive sorrow when I first started doing this. I mean LIFE shattering sorrow I didn't even know was there. That's why I recommend that BPD offspring be in therapy if they start going through this book seriously. I hope this book helps you on your continued journey of healing. You're right; the kid in you deserves so much better than what your parents brainwashed you to believe about yourself. I'm sending a big hug your way for your inner-child and you! Best of luck, Genevieve > > > > Please know that I so appreciate being here and being able to post > here. You have all been so wonderful. I wonder though when do we let > go? We remember the pain, the disappointment, the hurt and not only > do we remember, it lives in our blood and souls. I know it resides so > deep in me, and I hate how it consumes me. It for me is the final > legacy that this dysfunctional childhood has bestowed upon me. I > want hope, love, peace and second chances to consume me. Yet, > sometimes I can't get beyond this. > > I have those moments of feeling whole again, due to my safe > boundaries from my nada and reconnecting to my inner child. My inner > child has been so neglected, hurt, emotionally beaten and most > importantly silenced----SILENCED!! No one really cared about her > feelings and what she had to offer. > > In a therapy session recently, my therapist had me do some role > playing and talk to my inner child. My therapist instructed me to > talk to inner child like I would a little child who was abused and I > was trying to help to recovery. The significant thing about this > situation was, for 24 years I have taught third grader children with > special needs and I love what I do.....and I pride myself on how my > classroom builds their self esteem. What did I tell my inner child > in front of my therapist....I told her, " To suck it up and deal with > it. " > > My therapist asked me would I tell a student that and I said of > course not, but this wasn't a student of mine....it was just me. OMG- > do I not deserve the same love and respect I try to give everyone in > my life, especially a child. > > That will be a life-changing moment for me....I get the pain...the > hurt....the sheer disappointment I have been to my nada, she has such > issues, honestly I think life itself was a disappointment to her. > Why am I doing what nada has done to me over and over again? Yet I > told, my inner child to suck it up and deal with it. My inner child > deserves my love, energy and attention....not my mother, not my pain > or my past. Those things I can't change, but I can change how I love > and respect me today. > > I bless all of you and I hope you take the time to hug and love the > inner child who is living inside of you. > > Thanks for listening, > Malinda > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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