Am I paranod or losing a sibling to oz again?

[Guest guest]

In the midst of all the posts about siblings and being paranoid, I have

recently felt like my brother is being hoovered back into oz and I am

losing him.

Just a bit of background...I had 2 older brothers. Almost 3 yrs ago,

my oldest brother died by suicide, it sent my FOO into upheavel, nada

made suicide threats when I wouldn't let her by my children bc she was

acting strange and I went to over a year of FOO counseling with my

other brother and padas to no avail.

My 2nd brother and I were very close growing up but we drifted as

adults, partly due to nada's medling/smearing. So it was really nice

to be able to talk for hours with my brother again remembering and

validating all the issues from our past with nada. We became very

close again and had remained so until recently. I feel like he is

being hoovered back in. I have remained essentially NC but he has gone

back to seeing padas at least once a month (he lives about 2 hours away

from them).

So...I recently had a really strange email interaction with my

brother. He forwarded an email from a cousin that I feel had been

unknowingly recruited by padas on their smear campaign. Something in

the email made me think padas had said something to them regarding

information they received from their drive-bys lately. I have been

trying to avoid talking about padas with my brother lately so our

relationship can move beyond being about them. In short (I am trying

to abbreviate here, sorry, not a strong point of mine) I wrote back and

told my brother all the weird padas drive-by things going on lately and

he wrote back and sort of invalidated, saying he thought it was all

just coincidence. He said, " I didn't spill the beans or anything. "

Which I never said he did but now that he thought I did, it makes me

wonder what was spilled?

Anyone with me yet? If so, I would love any advice anyone has. I

don't want to lose what my brother and I have rekindled together but I

don't trust that by his just being around padas more, that he isn't

getting hoovered back into their land of oz. Nada is HF and very good

at getting her version of anything across, even by simply repeating her

version over and over again until it seems like the truth. Ugh!!

My oldest brother's 43rd birthday would have been Monday. I miss him.

I am sure all of this is factoring in to my feelings on this.

patinage

[Guest guest]

I'm so sorry about your oldest brother.

As for your younger brother, the best fight against Nada in the sibling

relationship I think it openness and honesty. Your brother may have

become defensive by your comment about the email ... he may have

misinterpreted and become defensive or guarded and replied in that

mindset, which made you feel slightly defensive and guarded - because,

of course, growing up with Nada we are great at quickly becoming

defensive and guarded lest we are being attacked. So call him up on

the phone and talk to him about your concerns.

-Sissa