nadas seeming nice and normal, even wonderful, to outsiders

[Guest guest]

Sylvia wrote:

> BP can do such an excellent job

> of appearing

> normal, wonderful, etc. to the outside world.

This is something that drives me NUTS! I remember in

about sixth grade, trying to tell someone at church

that things were not right at home and my mother was

not as she appeared. I just met with shocked and

horrified disbelief. The woman was obviously

uncomfortable and seemed to think I was being disloyal

to my nada, and was talking about " normal " 6-grade

disagreements with Mommy. Ugh.

Now I have a situation where, a friend of mine (lives

more than a thousand miles away, unfortunately), is

married to this outrageously borderline woman. To the

outside world, she seems so " nice " --a churchgoer (like

mine). I think I might be his only friend who knows

thee true extent of her behavior (THAT HE KNOWS

ABOUT). I keep telling him, they are worse to the kids

when you are not around. I can't believe he goes to

work everyday and leaves them. This woman is

physically abusive to my friend (has tried to strangle

him in his sleep, has gotten a gun and threatened to

shoot him), but he has a hard time believing that she

would be physically abusive to the kids (even tho she

is constantly screaming and angry at them nd

EMOTIONALLY abusive in front of him, and even though

they have sustained some suspicious injuries when he

is not there (like the one-year-old had a broken are

under EXTREMELY unlikely circumstances). The oldest

daughter is turning into a miniature of her mother. It

is sickening to see this cycle repeat. If I lived

anywhere nearby I would try to spend time with the

kids, but I don't live nearby and if I did, this woman

hates me and wouldnt allow it.

Don't know what to do. I almost feel more hostile to

HER than I do to my own nada, because she has helpless

children in her power RIGHT NOW. Ugh. And everyone

thinks she's " so nice " ...except for anyone in the

family who thinks she's " so nice " but " she goes crazy

once in a while. "

-Flea

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