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Liz:

I and others wrote your post years ago but unfortunately my story had a different response. My EX (Larry) had a low response level for anxiety and frustration with an impaired theory of mind.

Looking back and knowing what I know now, my only regret was I did not divorce him years ago when our kids were younger.

We have been divorced for almost three years and when I see him, our encounters are good, but it took us a lot to get to this point.

Our eldest daughter came into town this weekend and always stays with me. She sees her dad for brief periods but chooses to stay with me. Her choice as I would respect her choice if she choose to stay with her dad.

It is hard to spend time with someone who cannot manage their emotions or chooses not too or does not have the capacity to figure it out as an adult.

I was weak and was unable to lay down severe consequences which he needed at the time. Clean up your act or get OUT. Tough love is hard which is why I volunteer my time for a women's shelter for domestic violence.

Sometimes getting out is hard if your partner controls the finances.

Good for you in setting boundaries and I wish you many years of martial bliss, unfortunately that is not always the case for many mixed marriages.

Best.

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