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Yesterday I was in orbit; I finally took 1/2 xanax to calm down. I

called nada early in the morning. The conversation was cordial and

we talked about her upcoming trip to see the fall foilage in New

England. She stated the deer were crying when the high winds picked

up (she lives in Northern MS). I stated I had never heard a deer

make a sound. Nada stated that deer moo; nada stated there were no

cows where she lived, so she knew the sound was deer. I changed the

subject and we talked a bit more.

I went to the local school administration building and the secretary

from hell waited on me. Her entire demeanor was of contempt; her

manner of speech was VERY loud and brief (as if she were speaking to

a nearly deaf slow learner). Her salary must be based on how much

she intimateds others. I nearly left when she opened her mouth. I

do want to tutor in the school system, so I stayed. She must be NPD,

it is a long time since I have dealt in public with one. I wanted to

hold up a silver cross so she would not come near me.

My day went down hill from there and I became more and more critical

of myself. Dummy, why are you so stupid. Began crying and moping

around.

Took meds and long shower. Sobbing in the shower I realized that I

had talked to nada and then dealt with npd secretary. Oh hell, now I

know what is going on. Sometimes the old patterns just sneak up on

me.

I talked to son later in the evening and asked him about the sounds a

deer would be making (son is a deer hunter). He laughed when I told

him nada's comments about the moo; son stated that deer grunt. I

should have known nada was rearranging the truth to fit her story.

So, today is a different day and it is going much better.

Take care, mg.

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Oh mg, I have those days too. :( Glad to know that life is better

today.

Sylvia

> Yesterday I was in orbit; I finally took 1/2 xanax to calm down. I

> called nada early in the morning. The conversation was cordial and

> we talked about her upcoming trip to see the fall foilage in New

> England. She stated the deer were crying when the high winds

picked

> up (she lives in Northern MS). I stated I had never heard a deer

> make a sound. Nada stated that deer moo; nada stated there were no

> cows where she lived, so she knew the sound was deer. I changed

the

> subject and we talked a bit more.

>

> I went to the local school administration building and the

secretary

> from hell waited on me. Her entire demeanor was of contempt; her

> manner of speech was VERY loud and brief (as if she were speaking

to

> a nearly deaf slow learner). Her salary must be based on how much

> she intimateds others. I nearly left when she opened her mouth. I

> do want to tutor in the school system, so I stayed. She must be

NPD,

> it is a long time since I have dealt in public with one. I wanted

to

> hold up a silver cross so she would not come near me.

>

> My day went down hill from there and I became more and more

critical

> of myself. Dummy, why are you so stupid. Began crying and moping

> around.

>

> Took meds and long shower. Sobbing in the shower I realized that I

> had talked to nada and then dealt with npd secretary. Oh hell, now

I

> know what is going on. Sometimes the old patterns just sneak up on

> me.

>

> I talked to son later in the evening and asked him about the sounds

a

> deer would be making (son is a deer hunter). He laughed when I

told

> him nada's comments about the moo; son stated that deer grunt. I

> should have known nada was rearranging the truth to fit her story.

>

> So, today is a different day and it is going much better.

> Take care, mg.

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Hi mg,

I relate to your experiences yesterday. When I interact with toxic

people like that my self-esteem falls apart. I would have freaked

out just from the NPD in public, but you also talked to nada! No

wonder you had a hard day. I'm glad you took care of your self,

though, after.

I had a rough night last night myself, just all jammed up and

experiencing piercing stabs of guilt. I think the non-BP KOs must

experience guilt in a different way than other people, bc it

physically hurts me. Nada's birthday is this weekend and i was just

agonizing over how, no matter what I do, I think I am the worst

daughter in the universe.

I HATE when I get to that place in my head! Luckily, with prayer

along the lines of " HELP!! " and bed by 8:30pm I was able to get

through it.

> Yesterday I was in orbit; I finally took 1/2 xanax to calm down.

I

> called nada early in the morning. The conversation was cordial

and

> we talked about her upcoming trip to see the fall foilage in New

> England. She stated the deer were crying when the high winds

picked

> up (she lives in Northern MS). I stated I had never heard a deer

> make a sound. Nada stated that deer moo; nada stated there were

no

> cows where she lived, so she knew the sound was deer. I changed

the

> subject and we talked a bit more.

>

> I went to the local school administration building and the

secretary

> from hell waited on me. Her entire demeanor was of contempt; her

> manner of speech was VERY loud and brief (as if she were speaking

to

> a nearly deaf slow learner). Her salary must be based on how much

> she intimateds others. I nearly left when she opened her mouth.

I

> do want to tutor in the school system, so I stayed. She must be

NPD,

> it is a long time since I have dealt in public with one. I wanted

to

> hold up a silver cross so she would not come near me.

>

> My day went down hill from there and I became more and more

critical

> of myself. Dummy, why are you so stupid. Began crying and moping

> around.

>

> Took meds and long shower. Sobbing in the shower I realized that

I

> had talked to nada and then dealt with npd secretary. Oh hell,

now I

> know what is going on. Sometimes the old patterns just sneak up

on

> me.

>

> I talked to son later in the evening and asked him about the

sounds a

> deer would be making (son is a deer hunter). He laughed when I

told

> him nada's comments about the moo; son stated that deer grunt. I

> should have known nada was rearranging the truth to fit her story.

>

> So, today is a different day and it is going much better.

> Take care, mg.

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I just had a nurse like this in the ER, and actually decided to check myself

out to get away, I can relate to the silver cross idea!

In a message dated 9/21/2005 5:08:31 PM Eastern Standard Time,

mghue_82@... writes:

I went to the local school administration building and the secretary

from hell waited on me. Her entire demeanor was of contempt; her

manner of speech was VERY loud and brief (as if she were speaking to

a nearly deaf slow learner). Her salary must be based on how much

she intimateds others. I nearly left when she opened her mouth. I

do want to tutor in the school system, so I stayed. She must be NPD,

it is a long time since I have dealt in public with one. I wanted to

hold up a silver cross so she would not come near me.

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