What to say to nada in waif/hermit mode

[Guest guest]

Hi, everyone,

My nada is in major hermit/waif mode. She has some chronic health

issues and as a result, almost never leaves the house except to go to

doctor's appointments. She is not really " sick " ; she has chronic

pain and stomach issues. Our conversations consist almost 100% of

her complaining. She spends a lot of time telling me that her life

is over, that there is nothing she wants to do and nothing she enjoys

because of the chronic pain, and that she doesn't want to leave her

house, but also that her life is not worth living because she never

does anything or goes anywhere.

I have spent years trying to get her to go out and do things either

with me or on her own, but she just won't. She says she " can't. " To

her, it seems like " can't " and " won't " are the same thing. Has anyone

experienced anything similar? I honestly don't know what to say to

her anymore. Her only topic of conversation is how awful she feels,

and any suggestions for things to take her mind off it are met

with " I can't. " Any suggestions for what to say/how to deal with

this/ what you have done in this situation?

Thanks,