Intentional Cruelty - BPD or something else?

[Guest guest]

Hi All,

I've been thinking about this recently, and since it's come up in a

recent thread I wanted to open it up for discussion. Many of us have

experienced cruel behavior at the hands of our nadas. Judging from

what I've read here, lots of us (including myself) believe this

cruelty is intentional and deliberate. At first I thought this was

just part of the whole BPD package. But then I wondered - do waif or

hermit nadas have this same cruel streak? Is it part of BPD, or is it

part of the queen and/or witch profile?

My nada was mostly queen/witch, but when she sensed that she couldn't

win a confrontation any other way she'd turn absolute waif, and that

mean streak disappeared as fast as she did (she'd literally run away).

As soon as she felt it was safe to return, the queen/witch would be

back again in full color.

Then I began to wonder if maybe her cruelty was something separate

from BPD. I don't remember reading much in UBM about deliberate

cruelty, aside from the " extreme " cases. I started to think maybe it

fell more under a sociopathic tendency... especially since I have two

other family members who have these same tendencies, but without all

the other characteristics of BPD.

I'm curious as to what your experiences are. Does your nada have a

deliberate mean streak, and what profile does she fall under

(waif/hermit/queen/witch)? Do you have other FOO members who don't

have BPD but maybe have this same mean streak?

[Guest guest]

>I'm curious as to what your experiences are. Does your nada have a

> deliberate mean streak, and what profile does she fall under

> (waif/hermit/queen/witch)? Do you have other FOO members who don't

> have BPD but maybe have this same mean streak?

> *******My mother never has had a cruel or mean streak. We saw

plenty of anger and poor me behavior. But my mom doesn't have much of

the witch in her. She is much more queen and waif. I think that is

the reason it took me so long to recognize that she was BPD.

Everything she did was much more subtle and a mind game. I guess you

could call that cruel as I was so enmeshed with her, but not a

deliberate thing on her part. She is very manipulative and used to

getting her way. But out and out cruelty was not part of her make-up.

Dee